My Roni

Noah

Noah actually heard Roni gulp and felt his own gut tighten. Fuck! Too soon! Maybe it was too soon, but there was no way he could hold it in anymore. He had to tell her.

"Noah," she placed her open palm against his chest, and for the first time since they'd begun kissing, he felt her pull away. "I think maybe you're confusing things."

Now it was Noah who pulled away. "What?"

"I'm feeling things too," she said, sitting up slightly. "But we have to be realistic, and I don't want you confusing the feelings you have for me as your good friend for anything more. I'm sorry," she said, adding insult to injury as she began to move off the bed.

"Hold on." He reached out and held her arm, feeling the pounding in his head start up again. "First of all, don't be sorry about anything, and whatever you do, do not take back what just happened here between us."

"I'm not taking it back. I'm just saying maybe you're confusing this—"

"I'm not confusing a damn thing." Noah straightened out too quickly, immediately regretting it as the dizzy spell hit him.

"Are you okay?" Roni moved closer to him again, and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Don't do this, Roni. Don't make this less than what it is. You're feeling it too. Don't try to deny it."

Her wide eyes blinked a few times, but she didn't pull away. "I won't deny I'm feeling something. I'd have to be a corpse not to. What I'm saying is if we do this, it changes everything."

"I want it to." Unable to hold back any longer, he kissed her lips softly again. "Don't you?"

"No! Don't you see? You're already saying things that will ultimately ruin our friendship. You're not in love with me, Noah. You may think you are right now—"

"Look," he said, trying desperately to not sound as angry as her last statement made him. "Maybe you're not there yet. Maybe you never will be, but do me a favor, and don't tell me what I'm feeling, okay? Because I fucking know what I'm feeling and that's that I'm in love with you."

She tried pulling away, but he held her tight. "I don't wanna lose you, Noah."

"You won't," he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers.

"How can we continue to be friends if you're in love with me?"

"Why couldn't we?" His head wasn't the only thing that pounded now, so did his heart. Her words were sucking the life out of him, and he didn't understand what she was so damn afraid of. "Couples should be friends first."

She shook her head, adding to the growing fear in the pit of his stomach. "We're in two completely different stages of our lives and always will be. I wouldn't dream of asking you to skip past anything just because I've done it already." She pulled back and looked him straight in the eyes. "I'm all for staying friends, but if we continue to do this, there are some things I'm sure we wouldn't be able to handle."

"What things?" He'd be willing to try and handle anything if it meant he'd be able to continue to hold her and kiss her the way he had tonight. Hell, he didn't think he could go very long without it now.

"What happens if either of us starts seeing someone else?"

Instinctively his body went taut. The very thought made the pounding in his head brutal. "We'll work it out," he said through his teeth.

Noah knew he was full of shit. She was right. There was no way he'd handle seeing her with someone else, but at the moment, he'd say anything to keep her from walking out of his room.

He brought his hand to his head and the concern was immediately in her eyes. "Are you dizzy?"

"A little."

"Lie back down." She fluffed the pillow for him.

He did, but he wouldn't let go of her hand. "Lie with me, please?"

She did and he wrapped his arms around her as soon as her body was next to his. Spooning her felt perfect. This was exactly where she should be every night. "Roni," he whispered against her ear.

"Hmm?"

"Will you stay here with me tonight? I promise we won't do anything but sleep."

He felt her go stiff, and then slowly, as he intertwined his fingers with hers and buried his face in her neck, inhaling the beautiful smell that was all Roni, she loosened up. "Okay."

Telling her he loved her again was on the tip of his tongue. He didn't care what she said. There was no doubt about it: he was completely in love with her, and after feeling the sincere reaction that she was powerless to conceal to his touch, his kisses, he was convinced now she felt for him what he was feeling for her.

One thing he picked up on loud and clear tonight was her fear: fear of giving in to her heart. He'd have to figure out how he could persuade her that it would be okay to give in no matter what fucking stage in life each one of them were in. What they both were feeling was bigger than any of that. He may not know a whole lot about love, but Jack was right about one thing. The heart was forever inexperienced. Roni proved that tonight. Despite their age difference and whatever stage Roni thought she was in, no matter how hard she tried to fight it, their hearts were in the exact same place now and that's all that mattered.

~*~

Veronica

"Hickeys?" Veronica turned from the mirror to Noah who was now sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling at her smugly. "You gave me hickeys?"

"I got a little carried away." He chuckled. "What can I say? You drive me nuts."

She turned back to the mirror. Not one or two, but three nearly purple hickeys adorned the front of her neck. Not even in high school when the kids thought they were cool and other girls actually showed them off, did she think there was anything cool about them, and she certainly didn't now at her age, especially when she was getting ready to go back to work the very next day.

She lifted her hair to find a smaller fourth one just under her ear. "How am I supposed to show up to work tomorrow like this?"

He stood up, coming up from behind and smiled into the mirror. "Oh, wow. Those are pretty big." She shivered at the touch of his fingers against the back of her neck. He brushed her hair away gently and kissed her nape. "Looks like I missed a spot."

Her body was immediately awakened by the feel of his tongue against her neck and she pulled away. "Stop, Noah. I'm serious." She stifled a gasp, trying not to put too much thought into the fact that he was obviously planning to continue what they'd started last night.

"I was too," he said, bringing his arms around her waist.

She placed her hands over his on her belly and watched him in the mirror as he kissed the side of her face. "Noah, I thought we said we weren't going to do this."

"Nope." He kissed her cheek and hugged her tighter. "You said we couldn't handle it. I said we'd work something out."

She turned to face him, all ready to lay her argument down, then winced when she saw the side of his face was still swollen. Placing her fingers gently over the lumpy area, she began to ask if it still hurt when his lips were on hers again and she was swept away into another one of his amazing kisses.

When it was finally over after several long minutes of deep kissing, her legs were like wet noodles. She literally had to cling to his big arms for support. He leaned his forehead against hers, catching his breath, his smoldering eyes looking into hers. "If you don't wanna do this, just tell me, and I'll respect your wishes. But unless you say the word, this isn't gonna stop."

She had to think of something—some kind of compromise. As much as her brain insisted, she couldn't bring herself to say the words she knew she should be saying. This needs to stop before it's too late. But she couldn't, so she said the next best thing she could come up with. "I think we should at least slow it down. We're friends, remember? I don't want things to change."

With the words out there like that now, she realized that's what it really was. She now had this huge fear that things would change and she'd lose him. She couldn't even bear the thought.

He took a deep breath, the lust in his eyes replaced by frustration. "What do you think is going to change, Roni?"

"Everything." She pulled away gently, a little surprised by her disappointment that he let her. "I'm going back to work. I need to concentrate on that, on getting myself back to the way I used to be. This . . ." she said, running her finger up his hard forearm. "This will complicate everything. I have so much going on right now, and I hate to sound selfish, but I need your friendship now more than ever. If we continue to do this and things change," she took a deep breath, hoping he didn't notice how emotional this was making her, "I'm afraid we'll lose what we have."

He pulled her to him again, hugging her tight. "Nothing is gonna change. I promise you that. But if slowing things down will make you feel better, then I'll try to control myself around you." He pulled back to face her again. "I'm not saying I won't slip, okay? Because I probably will—a lot. But I promise I will make an effort." He tilted her chin up slightly with his fingers, examined her neck, and smiled. "I don't know what you're complaining about. I think they look good."

Veronica peered at him unbelievably. She'd suspected it earlier, but now she was sure of it. The hickeys were no mistake. His words from last night came to mind. My Roni. This was so like him. She should've known the moment she saw them.

"Yeah, well they're coming off."

He smiled even bigger and kissed her nose. "Okay. Whatever you say."

An hour later and after infuriatingly having to Google, "How to remove a hickey?" Veronica knew why Noah had been so smug and agreeable about her removing them. They were basically impossible to remove in a day or even a few days as dark as hers were. While there were many suggestions on how to lighten them, she learned a few things that morning. A hickey was a bruise—popped blood vessels under the skin. Albeit a far more enjoyable way of getting a bruise, it was still just a bruise. And the only realistic way to get rid of it was to conceal it.

Thankfully, it was winter, and she'd actually purchased a turtleneck when she'd shopped for work clothes. She'd just have to get creative the first week of work. She stood in front of her mirror, examining the darks spots on her neck. The thought of Noah's mouth on her, and how good his hot tongue and lips felt sucking it, made her close her eyes and take a deep breath.

It was crazy how fast just thinking of his lips on hers, his hard body pressing against her, had her panties working overtime again to soak up her puddles like they had last night. She exhaled slowly, her body trembling with the visual of her and Noah.

Deciding a long shower is what she needed, she got her things together and headed to the bathroom. It might help her get her thoughts together. Before last night, she was already anticipating this week to be an emotional roller coaster. The turn things had taken with Noah would only intensify everything now.

It almost made her mad. She'd been looking forward to her new beginning. This was supposed to be exciting, refreshing. Instead that was overshadowed now with thoughts of her and Noah. She meant it when she said she was afraid to lose him, and she'd known from the very beginning this could be the cause of that.

How in the world did she really plan to get her social life back now without it causing friction? The life she knew—brunches with friends her age, Friday night cocktails with the girls from work at a nice restaurant, not backyard parties with dance crews and brawling teenagers. Although she had to admit that, until that idiot started hitting on her the moment Noah was out of sight, she'd been enjoying herself.

Veronica could only hope her shower would help her relax because she knew the next few weeks were going to be a challenge