Heartache

Noah

The fact that Roni would believe such a thing about him spoke volumes. It was so like Kratz to make his past sound worse than it really was, but the kicker was that Roni was so ready to believe him.

"So, let me see if I got this straight. This asshole comes back out of nowhere after walking out on you when your mother was dying, knowing he'd be leaving you all alone. Supposedly you're not interested in his ass anymore, even though months after you and him were through, you still had those fucking pictures up?"

The more he thought about it, the heavier his chest felt. He wasn't sure what hurt more—the fact that she'd lied or that she'd bought this crock from a guy who obviously hadn't given a shit about her.

"You tell me you want nothing to do with him, but the moment you decide you need to broaden your social life, he's the first one you fucking call?" He knew his words were harsher than he'd ever spoken to her, but he couldn't help it. It hurt like hell to find out she obviously did care enough about this guy to buy into this guy's horseshit version of the truth—the truth about him—even after what the asshole had done to her. "What other bullshit did he tell you about me?"

She shrugged, looking ready to cry, but she wasn't denying any of it.

"Tell me!"

"That you did drugs or drug trafficking." Noah laughed but stopped when she asked, "did you?"

She couldn't possibly be serious. His eyes narrowed in on her. "What do you think?"

The answer to that was in her uncertain eyes. She believed that too. "Wow," he said, taking a few steps back. "I had no idea I'd made such an insignificant impression on you that you would think so little of me."

"I don't—"

"I'm a fucking orphan, Roni! Or did you forget?" He'd never felt so ready to explode in his life, not even on his way there when he could think of nothing other than getting there and ripping Kratz apart. He was just pissed then, and he'd been incensed with jealousy. What he was feeling now was much worse. He hurt like he'd never hurt before. "I know firsthand what it's like to be discarded by family. That's why I don't turn my back on friends or people I care about. That's him." He jabbed a finger in the air in the direction the fucker had driven away in. "He does that shit, not me. But apparently that doesn't count for anything where you're concerned, right? Because you're so ready to believe something like that about me just because he told you so."

Her hands were at her mouth now, and she took the steps down the stairs to approach him as he backed up even more. "I never said I believed him. I said I was curious. I didn't know what to think. He said it was a long time ago. People do things they regret. I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. Even if it were true, it wouldn't matter. None of it matters."

That confirmed it. She did believe all those things about him even after what he'd just told her. "I just said . . ." he started to articulate then spun around; he couldn't stay there even another minute. "You know what? Believe whatever the fuck you want. How 'bout that? I don't give a shit anymore." He was done trying to convince her that he was worthy of being part of her life.

"Noah, I'm sorry. If you say you didn't, then I believe you."

Wonderful, now she was going to humor him. He jumped on his bike and pulled his helmet on, glad it muffled her words because he couldn't bear to hear another word. If he was anything like the type of young immature punk she clearly thought him to be, he might've had thoughts of flipping her off; instead, all he could think of as he pulled out of her driveway was how the hell was he supposed to get over her? This felt a million times worse than his breakup with Tessa.

He drove stupidly fast around the area for a while before deciding on a destination. He didn't want to be near anyone. It was crazy the effect Roni had on him. Emotionally he was a wreck. She'd only been in his life a few months, and the thought of not having her in it anymore was unbearable.

Twenty minutes later, he sat at the edge of the boxing ring at the gym. He hadn't bothered turning on the lights when he got there. The only light was the bright moonlight that came in through the windows and the streetlight just outside the front door that flooded in through the glass doors.

He realized that he wouldn't have blown up the way he did if he hadn't already been so worked up. Hearing about Roni spending time with the ex she probably still had feelings for had really done a number on him. He'd never felt so pissed and hurt at the same time in his life.

The whole damn week had been building intensely until he'd just come apart. Maybe if he would've explained to Roni about what really happened in high school with the girl he got pregnant instead of going off on her, she would've understood. He might have even convinced her of what he'd been trying to all this time: that he was mature enough to handle things like an adult and had been even back then.

The front door opening jerked him out of his thoughts. He'd been so damn heated when he burst through it tonight he hadn't thought to lock it, and this wasn't the best of neighborhoods. He jumped to his feet, fully expecting to have to take on a homeless person or two when he heard Roni.

"Noah, is that you?"

She came around the corner into view, and she may as well have been an angel because that's how blissful the sight of her was. She stopped when she saw him.

"I believe you, Noah. I really do."

He took a deep breath, unbelievably ready to forgive and forget everything that had happened earlier and just run to her, but he had to say something to her first. "I dropped out to get a full-time job when I found out she was pregnant."

The shadow over her face prevented him from seeing her expression clearly. But she stood motionless for a moment as he held his breath in preparation for her response.