Biggest Coward Ever

Veronica

The very next time Veronica went to the gym, she made it a point to keep any awkwardness at bay. She had no idea what she'd been thinking when she asked him if he wanted to go for a drink. She'd just been so excited about the weight loss she hadn't been thinking. God, she was an idiot.

How young Noah really was had been a shock to say the very least, and she was more than happy she had a day away from him to shake it off. He seemed content that there had been no weirdness and they'd fallen back into their regular routine. Veronica made sure there was never any more talk of their socializing outside the gym.

Nellie had been separated from Rick for over a month now and was doing better, but she still had her bad days. Rick actually wanted them to try and work things out. He swore the day Courtney followed him to the hotel had been the only time he'd even considered taking his relationship with the other woman to that level. Because of Courtney's confrontation, it never happened. But Nellie just didn't know if she could ever trust him again.

The woman was an apprentice who'd been working at the studio where he worked for months. He said he was mentoring her. Nellie said he'd actually spoken of her when she first started. She was no longer working at his office, and after what happened, she wasn't coming back.

Veronica did everything she could to try to be there for Nellie. She was still consumed with the guilt from not having been there while this had all unfolded. The guilt she felt was channeled into her workouts. It made her focus—push herself even harder.

Six weeks into it, she'd now lost almost thirty pounds. Feeling so much better about herself already, she'd even shed her baggy sweat suits for tighter fitting workout clothes. The first day she'd walked in wearing one of the new outfits, she noticed Noah avoiding her eyes at first then later caught him checking her out a few times. She told herself it was nothing more than the newness and shock of seeing her out of her sloppy sweats—nothing else.

It was Sunday again and she sat on her sofa, her fingers tapping away on her laptop. She'd begun to look into going back to work. When she took her leave, her supervisor told her she could take all the time she needed and a job would still be waiting for her whenever she was ready to come back. She said even if it wasn't the same position, Veronica would get in somewhere. She needed to go back—needed to feel normal again. Losing weight was just the first step, but she needed to get back to playing tennis, going out. She needed to get her life back.

After tweaking her resume, she looked up movie times and called Nellie. Disappointed that her call went to voicemail, she left a quick message and flipped through the channels on her television—nothing. She tossed the remote on the sofa and stared at her phone pathetically for a few minutes, hoping Nellie would call. For a second she was tempted to call Derek. He'd actually left a few messages in the past few months, asking her how she was and saying he missed her.

Veronica didn't miss him and she knew it. She was just feeling lonely. Most of her days were spent cleaning or working on the house, and she'd resurrected her hobby of photography—a hobby she'd once loved, but like everything else in her life, once her mom got sick, she'd pushed it aside, forgetting about it altogether.

Even though most of the stuff she did now was digital, she still held on to her darkroom. There was something so aesthetically pleasing and therapeutic about spending hours in there and watching a picture magically appear on the paper, not to mention the memories she had of spending time in there developing photos with her mother.

She managed to stay busy all week until Sunday rolled around. It was the one day she couldn't look forward to her workouts. Some Sundays she'd taken to walking in the park with her camera handy. Then she'd come home and spend hours in her darkroom, developing whatever masterpiece she'd captured, but today it was pouring. It was one of the worst storms they'd had in a while. From the looks of it, there'd be plenty more.

The day was finally over and Veronica went to bed, looking forward to her workout the next day—something she hated to admit she'd come to look forward to a little too much. But it was because of the excitement of all the weight she was losing—that's all it was.

The next day she double-checked her watch when she arrived at the gym, because Noah wasn't there yet. Had she really been so anxious that she arrived before him? He was always there first. She'd just begun to stretch out when Jack came over to inform her Noah wouldn't be coming in. "You may wanna call in for the rest of the week before coming because I don't know how long he'll be out."

Feeling more than a little concerned, she asked, "Is he okay? Did something happen?"

"He's fine," Jack said, scratching his head. "It's his roof that's not so good. Seems this storm is really giving it a beating, and he's been busy packing things up and getting things covered up. He may have to stay here for a few weeks until they can get the roof fixed. But first, he's gotta get his things out of there."

"He's staying here? At the gym?"

"Yeah, well he practically lives here as it is." Jack smiled. "We've gotta fridge back there, and he already showers here. I got a blow-up mattress he can borrow. He'll be fine. It's only for a few weeks. Anyway, this week is up in the air. I'm not sure when he'll be in. Does he have your number? I can have him call you and let you know, so you don't waste a trip."

All this time there'd been no reason to give Noah her number, though she had written it down on her application when she signed on past her first free week. Obviously, he hadn't jotted it down or anything, or he would've called her today to let her know. It had been pouring since Saturday night. She shuddered to think of what this weekend must've been like for him.

She gave Jack her number but decided that since she was already there she may as well work out. Even though she pushed as hard as she did when Noah was there, it just wasn't the same. There was this strange void, and she walked out feeling less enthused about it than she normally did.

The next day it poured all day again, and she was sure he wouldn't be in again. She didn't recognize the number when she saw it on her phone's screen, but her phone rang so little lately she knew it had to be him. She picked up her phone, feeling a small flutter in her belly.

"Hello?"

"Veronica?" The flutter turned into an all-out somersault. His voice was so deep and resonating she had to gulp before responding.

"Yeah, it's me."

"Hey, this is Noah. Sorry about yesterday. I was so busy I completely forgot to call any of my trainees."

"That's okay. You had good reason. How's your roof?"

"Not good. I won't make it in again tonight to the gym. Maybe not for the next couple of days, except to sleep. But I'll be out of there first thing in the morning. It's a bitch trying to get this roof patched up, especially in the rain."

Picturing Noah all alone on an air mattress in that big cold gym filled her with guilt. She'd thought about the two extra bedrooms in her house ever since Jack had mentioned it, but she had no idea if Noah would think it too weird. Was it even an appropriate suggestion, especially given how her heart hadn't stopped thumping since she answered his call? How would she handle knowing he'd be sleeping just a couple of doors away from her?

"So you're staying at the gym?"

"Yeah, I slept there last night. It's not too bad except for the no heater thing. I'll just take extra blankets tonight."

That tugged at her heart even more. A few times, he'd mentioned foster parents, but unlike when he talked about working on his Ninja and about boxing where his eyes lit up, she sensed that was a subject she shouldn't ask too much about. So she never did. What he did say about it was always very vague, almost as if it had slipped out accidentally, and he usually moved on to another subject quickly. She could only imagine what his living situation must be if a storm had done it in.

With the words at her lips, Noah spoke again. "Listen I gotta go, but I'll call you again tomorrow and let you know if I'm gonna make it."

"Noah?"

"Yeah?"

She squeezed her eyes shut, holding her breath but the words that came out were not what she wanted to say. "Be careful."

"Okay. You too. Stay out of the rain. It's bad out there."

She hung up, feeling like the biggest coward ever. As the temperature dipped even lower, she called Nellie. Maybe Nellie could help give her courage to just do it.