17

KALOTA

I'm slowly coming to. This time, the softness that envelops me doesn't give me the illusion that I'm floating on a cloud. What happened is not forgotten either. The pain is too present for that. Way too strong. Even now waking up, every part of the body seems to hurt. However, that's not what really bothers me, but who did this to me. Zaret. Beat me up again. And as wrong as it is, I still can't hate him. Rather, I am filled with a deep sadness that makes my heart beat slower. Forcing me to keep lying still.

"You can't really believe she's having the exact same troubles as you." Platura. His voice is low, yet he seems upset. "She's lying to you, Xer." It's obvious that Platura means me. My fear of the ice inside me - of the paralysis that comes with it.

"Of course I don't believe her." Unlike Platura, Xerxes seems calm. But what he says leaves a pang in me. I really thought he believed me. Then why did he stop torturing him?

"Then send her away. She's a danger." I can feel Platura looking my way. The way his eyes eat into me and there's only disgust in them. He knows it. Platura knows I tell Zaret all the things about Xerxes.

"I'm not going to send her away," Xerxes mumbles. His voice is muffled. As if he's rubbing his hand over his face. And probably Platura and I are thinking the same thing: Why not? It doesn't really matter if I'm really someone tell about the meetings. The mere possibility of doing so should be decisive enough.

"Why?" And now Platura doesn't seem to be able to stand still anymore. Heavy footsteps echo through the room. Approaching me and moving away again. And despite this fact, it's easy for me to just lie still. Not even my breathing gets faster .

"You weren't there," Platura continues, and it's only now that I notice that he doesn't try to put the melody of the rich in the voice range. That only shows that Platura isn't pretending to be Xerxes. "The two knew each other. They know each other very well. I saw it in his eyes. It wasn't just dislike."

And whether I want it or not, I prick up my ears. Now it is clearly about Zaret. "He didn't look at her the way a thug looks at his victim. There was something else." While Platura is talking, Xerxes sits down on the bed. The mattress moves slightly against my feet, but even that I only hear in passing. I want to jump up and yell at Platura, which he did at Zaret has seen. Just that this is important to me should really make me think. But it doesn't. The conversation is too important for that. Requires too much concentration.

Xerxes takes a deep breath and scratches somewhere. I can't say exactly where, but it sounds like fingernails being scraped over short hair. beard maybe? "It doesn't matter how he looked at her. The only important thing is whether you recognized something in their facial expressions that allows conclusions to be drawn about your thesis."

Where he's right, he's right. However, I have no idea how I viewed Zaret. The shock was probably mainly recognizable in my eyes. But what else? I actually didn't pay attention to what my facial expressions reveal. As with the two men in my room?

Plata stops. However, I can't say where exactly. "I can't answer that for you." He snorts derisively and I can imagine him shaking his head. But for me this sentence is more than reassuring. "I had to look out for someone else." The disgust resonates in every word. Just because Platura talks to Xerxes like that should earn him jail. After all, he's really just an employee.

"Then she will stay." Xerxes sounds tired. But Zaret also gives me a good idea of where that came from. If it's really true and the trade routes are blocked off, then he should have far bigger problems than me.

"Xer, don't be stupid," Platura hisses, and now I know where he's standing. Somewhere next to the bed. Next to me. He must be able to look at my face. "I can't understand why you're holding onto her like that." Platura is probably eyeing me right now. Looks for the answer to the question in my face. If this is still recognizable at all. I wouldn't be surprised if countless marks and swellings are found there.

"Because she didn't look at me with disgust." He laughs hard and now it's really hard not to move. I would love to see Xerxe's face. "Whatever the reason, she seems to understand." He sighs softly and stands up. "I can't push anyone who accepts me for who I am. With all the dark sides."

And then it's quiet. But this stillness says more than words can. Suddenly even I seem to feel the connection between Platura and Xerxes. The way they look at each other and probably each fighting their own battle. Platura for accepting Xerxes' decision, and Xerxes for not scaring me away, against all reason.

"She will be your downfall," Platura murmurs, and I'd like to know how he can think like that. Kind of a gut feeling? Or is it the knowledge he's drawn from life? Whatever it is, he seems to himself to be sure that I shouldn't be trusted. Xerxes chuckles again, and that sound causes the poisonous green of his eyes to appear in my mind. Shows me how beautifully it can shine. "You know what's funny. I've had this conversation before." The melody in Xerxe's voice still hasn't lost its beauty to me. Again, that sound makes it into my head. Flatters my thoughts.

"They all told me I was making a mistake. That this will be my death." Xerxes stops briefly and I automatically hold my breath. In fact, it frightens me that Xerxes so often stands against the general public. Shouldn't a king listen to them? "It was just about you back then , Platura." It doesn't sound like Xerxes wants to make him feel bad about it. Rather, what is said seems warm. As if it were a nice thought for him. And that's probably the case. "I'm not going to stop going with my gut when it's already given me such a big win." The smile is evident in what he's saying and even though my eyes are still closed, I know that with it is Platura buckles.

"Then I hope you won't be disappointed this time either." Platura's voice draws nearer. He seems to lean down towards me. And just to confirm my assumption, his breath fills my ear to pretend you're asleep," he whispers, and I tentatively open one eye. Just a crack. Platura appears in front of me and grins. He doesn't look angry. I really thought he would hate me from today. But that doesn't seem to be the case. "I'll keep an eye on you, Kalota. So don't do anything wrong." He looks at me for a moment before he straightens up with a jerk. "Then I'll leave you two alone." Platura looks at Xerxes again before moving and leaving the room. And I would like to crawl further under the covers.

A wobble in the mattress shows Xerxes getting on the bed and just as I really want to pull the covers up a bit, his face appears in front of me. But he doesn't look angry either. Instead, a really cute smile graces his lips. "And how do you feel?"

I nod slightly and can't take my eyes off his eyes. Damn, I really forgot how bright this green is. "It's fine." Complete lie. Xerxes seems to know that too. He raises an amused eyebrow and very slowly pulls the covers down a bit, exposing my breasts. His expression darkens a bit. A shadow almost seems to fall over him so I follow his gaze and recognize what is causing this mood. My skin is covered with marks. These are almost black. Show too clearly that the fists and feet landed on me with a lot of force. I close my eyes in resignation and need to collect myself for a moment. I realize it's necessary. Just some swelling and bruising wouldn't have made it look real. And yet it gives me a pang that Zaret would do this to me. He could never have hurt me like that when he feels more than disgust for me.

Xerxes pulls the covers down a little more and looks at the newly exposed parts of my body. But instead of his expression darkening even further, there seems to be something like warmth in his features. "I'll be careful today," he mumbles and looks up. Seems to want to make sure I see the truth in the statement. And I do. Still, I don't believe him. "You said that before."

He smiles slightly and Xerxes leans forward. At the same time, he rubs his fingers from the blanket over my hipbone. Follow this and slowly walk further over my stomach. "That's true, but today the circumstances are different." He licks his lips lightly and without my doing I look at it. Recognize the softness of these very ones. That the stubble is too long. But Xerxes leans forward even further, so that he disappears from my line of sight. "What's different today?" I whisper and swallow hard. Of course I can think of about twenty things that are different from our other meeting. But none of these would provide a logical explanation as to why Xerxes should deviate from his proper behavior now.

"Because I shouldn't even be shagging you in your condition," he mutters softly as his hand lands on my chest. This circled and slowly approached my nipple. "But since I'm definitely going to do it, I want to at least be careful." As light as a feather, his lips touch my cheek with every word. Leave a pleasant feeling of warmth.

"So Kalota, last time you wanted sex without pain. Now you shall have it," he whispers and I don't know how Xerxes pulls it off, but despite the calmness of the voice, the undertone seems to speak a different language. There almost seems to be a kind of impatience in it. One that really makes his voice vibrate.