EMMA DAMIAN 27

E M M A

The agony was too much for me to take. It took everything I had not to pull over and cry my eyes out as I got closer to my apartment.

Damian. That jerk. That fucking jerk. After everything he'd done to me, after everything he'd put me through, he'd decided to rekindle his relationship with Marian of all people.

Or, at the very least, to get back with her long enough to ruin up his office.

At least, that's what Marian had said. In my brain, I alternated between visualizing Marian's face and becoming enraged, and remembering Damian's face and feeling a melancholy I'd never known before.

It was entirely his fault. All of the agony I'd been through in the previous month was due to him and his nonsense.

What's the worst part? I really should have known better. Damian had revealed himself to me in high school when he dumped me for Marian for the first time. It was the same shit with the same individual years later.

How could I have been so foolish?

But none of that mattered with Damian. My baby was the one who did it.

It was bizarre. As a single mother, I was staring down the barrel of life. And, while I couldn't say for sure what it would be like, I knew it would be difficult.

But I wasn't afraid. If anything, the prospect of devoting my life to the baby and giving parenthood my all made me feel...good.

Hopeful.

Marian and Damian and all that stuff were swept aside by the intensity of the feeling.

I had a baby to consider.

I couldn't wait any longer.

My lips formed a faint, determined smile. I made a right and pulled into the nearest parking lot, where I found a spot. When I came to a halt, I took my phone from my purse.

When I saw Damian's missed texts and phone calls, the knot in my gut resurfaced. The texts were all urging me to call him back, that he wanted to clarify something, and so on.

No dice. I'd learnt my lesson from that jerk. Maybe if he behaved himself for a few years, I'd let him into the baby's life.

But for the time being, he was gone. I didn't want to hear another word from him, not one of his nonsense justifications. What more did I need to see than him in his office, Marian, about to push him onto the desk and ride the excellent doctor like a stallion?

If he wanted her, he could have her.

After clearing the texts and deleting the voicemails without bothering to listen to them, I opened Google Maps and put in "OBGYN near me." A few results came, and I chose the one closest to my place and called it.

“Dr. Perez's office – how can I assist you? " The woman on the other end of the line was cheery and upbeat, nearly enough to make me forget about my previous encounter at a doctor's office.

“Hi. I realized I didn't know where to begin. Sure, my position was straightforward; I was pregnant and needed to visit a doctor. But saying the words out loud made it all seem so genuine.

I exhaled deeply and said it.

"I'm expecting a child and need to see a doctor."

"Certainly! How far have you gotten? ”

"I'm not sure. This is the first time I've discussed it with a professional. And...I'm at a loss on what to do."

When I said the words, I realized how true they were. I'd taken pride in being a woman who could do anything I set my mind to since I left home after high school. I'd paid my own way through college, founded my own business, and made a name for myself.

But when it came to the pregnancy, I was at a loss. And I'd be doing it all on my own, all by myself.

“Sure!

" She said that as if there was nothing unusual about it. "My name is Sierra, and I'm the main nurse here at Dr. Perez's clinic. I'm pleased to assist you with whatever you require." And also, congratulations! ”

Her relaxed and kind demeanor was just what I needed to hear. And when she said "congratulations," she sounded pleased for me.

"Thank you, Sierra. So, what should be the initial step? I'm feeling so out of my depth here that I'm fumbling blind."

"That's perhaps the most typical reaction among expecting mothers." Don't panic — you're at the same place that millions and millions of other women have been. And we're here to assist you in getting through it."

My smile remained on my face. "Thank you very much."

"The first thing I'll do is schedule an appointment for you. I'm assuming you used an at-home pregnancy test. ”

"Exactly — one of those digital ones."

“Perfect. The first step will be to confirm the pregnancy and determine how far along you are. We'll be able to address any inquiries you have from there."

"I'll compile a list because I have a lot."

"That's why we're here." Let's take a look...how does New Year's Eve sound? We can get you in at nine a.m. if that works for you."

I instantly took out a note pad and pen and jotted everything down.

"That's ideal."

“Great! Then we'll meet again."

"Wait a minute."

“Sure! What's going on? ”

"I know that sounds strange, but is there anything I can do now?" Do you want to know how to prepare? ”

"The best thing you can do right now is rest as much as you can." I understand that the holidays can be stressful, but the calmer and more relaxed you are, the better for baby."

"Calm and relaxed" were two terms I never used to characterize myself as a small business owner. But I'd have to figure it out. "Got it."

"And if you really want to get a head start, there's this book called What to Expect When You're Expecting."

“Oh! That one is familiar to me! " I exclaimed the words with almost childlike zeal.

She chuckled. “You’ve heard of it because it’s one of the best. It’ll give a month-by-month playbook on all the stuff you’ll be going through as a mom-to-be. Just about anything you’ll be wondering about will be in there.”

I scrawled down the name.

“Anything else?”

“That should get you on your way. And if you have other questions, please feel free to call.”

She asked for my information and all the rest she’d been to set up the appointment. And by the time she let me go with one last eager congratulations, I didn’t simply feel better, I felt good.

I felt ready.

I pulled up the location for the nearest Barnes and Noble and drove over. Once inside and among the quiet, mellow ambience, I scanned the racks for the book.

And as I did, I strolled past the kid’s book section, watching a little girl about five or so with her mother. One of her tiny, gloved hands was in her mom’s, the other eagerly pointing to whatever she wanted on the shelf.

That was me. Or, at least, it would be.

I found the book and strode toward the register about as determined as I’d been in a long, long time.

Once I was back out in the car I narrowed my eyes and drove. I had a busy day ahead of me working out the details for the New Year’s Eve gala, and I wanted to get started. If all went according to plan, I’d be starting off the new year basking in the glow of the biggest damn career success of my life, ready to kick ass and take names and add “new mom” the growing list of things I handled like a fucking boss.

I drove back home, singing along to Hall & Oates like the total proud dork I was, and by the time I pulled into my spot I felt about ready to conquer the world. Back in my apartment I put on some tea as I leafed through the book.

My phone buzzed on the counter, and I craned my neck to see that it was another text from Damian.

Screw him. I had more important things to worry about.

Once the hot water was ready, I poured my tea, set up my laptop, and sat down for a productive rest of the morning.

But I didn’t even get a chance to start. A frantic pounding sounded at the door.

I knew instinctively that it was Damian.

Not enough that the fucker had done what he’d done at the office. Now he was at my place, ready to start his usual routine of shoveling bullshit into my face and hoping I accepted it. But if there was one thing I knew about Damian, it was that he was as stubborn as they came.

Hell, stubborn as I could be.

Ignoring him wouldn’t make him back off. No – what I had to do was tell him right to his face that he needed to leave me the fuck alone. Maybe it’d work, maybe it wouldn’t, but it was the best shot I had.

After taking a slow, relaxing sip of my tea, I set down the mug and made my way over to the door just in time for another series of knock-bangs.

“Who is it?” I asked in a sugary-sweet voice, knowing damn well what the answer was.

“It’s me. I want to talk.”

“You know, it’s a good thing my condo owner didn’t scrimp on these doors – you’ve been really banging the hell out of them these last few weeks.”

I smirked, happy to bust his balls.

But the silence that followed let me know he didn’t think it was funny at all.

“Emma, you have to believe me. What you saw…it wasn’t what you thought it was.”

“Oh, I’m sure. You know, Damian, it’s not enough you have to be a total prick, but you have to lie like one too. Do you think I’m an idiot? She had her leg wrapped around you and her lips all over your face.”

As soon as I spoke the words, I scolded myself for already getting into argument with him. I needed to nip this in the bud.

“Whatever it was, I don’t give a damn. You’ve made enough of a mess of my life already – I’m not giving you another chance. Now, please get the hell out of here. I’ve got a ton of work and dealing with you for the five-millionth time is really cutting into my productivity.”

“Emma, I’m going to talk to you. I don’t give a damn if I have to wait all night. I want to see you, and I want to explain what happened.”

Something about this really set me off. Maybe it was the way he didn’t give a damn about my boundaries. More than that – he viewed my boundaries as tiny obstacles he had to smash through.

I was done. I’d had enough.

I unlocked the door and pulled it open, an actual growl of rage sounding from me as I did. Damian was there, his hair loose and draped over his forehead.

He looked rough. For a man like him who was always polished and professional, it was enough to give me pause.

But I was undeterred.

“Emma.”

“Damian, get the fuck out of here. I don’t give a damn what you want to tell me. We’ve got nothing to say to each other.”

I thought for a second. “Actually no, I do have something to say. You and Marian deserve each other. I hope you’re happy.”

He said nothing, as if surprised by what I’d said, taken aback even.

Damian took a moment to compose himself, sweeping his hand over his hair and taking a long, slow breath. My eyes didn’t leave his.

Then anger spread across his face, his eyes narrowing in pure rage.

I’d gone too far. Before I could even think of how to react, Damian burst toward me.

The door flew open as I stepped back. His eyes practically boiled with anger.

I had no idea what to expect.