CHAPTER 40

I could hear his heavy breathing because he was so close to my side. I could also smell the vapor of the wine on him mixing with the natural smell of his perfume. I've been with him for a few years so I've memorized his smell but I still can't get used to his stretches like this.

I just sighed and looked in front of me again. I also noticed the silence of the four while also watching the band in front of us.

“Stop being so clingy. Just go to her tomorrow,” I told him as I sipped on my drink again.

We’ve had a weird bottle of whiskey and I feel like I’m still not being hit. The wind is really different now.

“I’ll go with you, Rae. I will also take you after this. Don't be naughty,” he insisted again so I just nailed it.

I turned my attention to the band while I could still feel Jaxon playing with my hair. I can now feel his breathing across my ear and his periodic accompaniment to the music so I smile. He has a great voice!

Minutes has passed when Yerim asked me to go with her to the bathroom. When we got down, I was a little dazzled by the wild light there and the loud music. Yerim and I went straight to the bathroom because the place was too crowded.

"Have you met him again?" Yerim suddenly asked me.

I raised an eyebrow at her as I washed my hands. "Huh?"

"It's been a year but I heard, he's still looking for you up to now," she said seriously to me.

When I found out who she was referring to, I immediately averted my eyes from her.

“Impossible. Maybe, he's married now,” I refused and hurried to do what I was doing.

“How did you say that, you just came home now after five freaking years. He doesn’t know where you are so he is probably still looking for you,” she added so I just shook my head.

I didn't answer her and left her there retouching. We'll be going home soon, why does she need more like that?

As I was walking back upstairs, someone bumped into me and I almost jumped due to the excessive force of the impact. I also heard him whisper something before I looked at him.

"Be careful next time, Miss," he said in a cold baritone voice.

When I looked up at him, I stiffened when I saw who he was. I could feel my chest throbbing fast when I saw the pair of his blue eyes focused on me. I feel like I was suddenly surprised when I saw the entirety of him.

"Lumiere..."

I blinked twice when I heard that voice again. The look on his face did not change. It is full of sadness and anger. It was as if he had found the person he had been looking for a long time.

"Uh-uhm ..." I almost whispered.

"Levi!" A woman's cry caused me to look at her.

I bit my lower lip when I saw Mari running towards us. When she approached the man, she immediately turned her gaze to me. I even saw her momentary shock before looking at the one next to her again.

"Let's go home. You’re drunk,” Mari said to him.

I wasted no more time. I was about to take a step away from them when he called me again by that fucking name of mine. I’m tired of hearing that. Really.

“Lumiere, wait...” he called as he grabbed me by my wrist.

I immediately took his hand away from me and look at them. I don't know if it's fear I see in Mari's eyes or what, while his-- has a blank expression.

I shook my head and went on my way. I no longer knew where Yerim was so I hurried back to our seat at the top.

When I got to the top, I drank that wine that was for me and took my things.

"Are you going home?" Rafa asked me.

“I have to go, Raf. I just left her to Viv,” I said goodbye to her while my mind was confused again.

My eyes began to roll. I feel my fear that he might follow me here and everyone will see him. I don't want to see him anymore.

I slightly pounded my chest due to its constant crashing loud which Jaxon noticed and went to me immediately.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you alright?” he asked me softly and took my hand then gently squeezed it.

I just looked at him and sighed violently.

“Y-yes. I... I’m sleepy,” I said to him as I almost lost my voice.

He didn’t let go of my hand and faced Rafa. Then Yerim came.

“We’ll go ahead. Be careful,” Jaxon said to them as we bid goodbye to each other.

After we said goodbye to each other, Jaxon and I were guided out of the area. I still can't forget what happened earlier until we got to my condo.

The look in his eyes, his expression, and his appearance. Very different from the last one I saw when we last talked. He looks so wasted and all. The eyes are deep, the hair is long and messy and it seems like there is no time to shave.

“Are you sure you’re alright? You were quiet before,” Jaxon broke the silence between us before we entered my unit.

I averted my eyes from him and was ready to go but he stopped me. He grabbed my hand and held it tightly so I could look at him. His eyes are now sore and tender. He is even more handsome because of his appearance.

“Talk to me, Rae. What’s wrong?” He asked me softly. He even slightly straightened my hair which was blocking my eyes.

I bit my lower lip. I couldn’t utter any words. I didn’t know how to tell him what I had seen before.

“Fine. Let’s just talk tomorrow. Let’s go see her," he gently said to me and caressed my forehead.

"Stop frowning, Rae," he laughed in addition so I laughed too then we finally went inside.

I immediately went to her room while Jaxon was still following me. When I opened the door, I was introduced to Vivien who was reading something and immediately stood up when she saw us.

“She slept early, Rae. We have been waiting for you,” Vivien greeted us.

“Thank you, Viv. You can sleep in my room, we'll stay here,” I told her.

She just smiled and nodded. Fortunately, she agreed to look at Asteria first while I was away. We're just close to her condo so that's not a problem for her.

Right after Vivien went out, I saw Jaxon walking toward my sleeping daughter. He lay down next to it and gently kissed it on the head.

“I missed you, love,” Jaxon uttered while caressing my daughter’s head. He looked at me for a moment.

“We’ll sleep here?” he asked me with a smile so I just stared at him.

“We'll sleep in the living room. We can't fit in here,” I declared to him which made him smirk.

I stared at her before I left the room to change my clothes.

I remember the times when I was drenched in pain. I feel like I can't get up. I was completely empty and drained while just trying to live my life. I tried to get up many times and just forget everything. I was completely damaged and ruined.

I remained in darkness for a long time while thinking that I might be better off dead, not until I gave birth to her. I am more in love with the light for it shows me the way, yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars and one of them is my daughter... Asteria.