Chapter 7
Saturday
Brooke
I know I’m drunk. Too drunk to be trying to ask Carter any of the questions I’m dying to ask.
I hear his footsteps in the hallway, and flinch that he’s dressed again, complete with boots laced like he’s ready to leave.
I can’t read his expression as he stands staring at the fire as it flickers about in the grate.
I glance at my toes and wish I could take back my flippant comment about him staying. If I wasn’t clear before now, his reaction to my light-hearted suggestion was confirmation this isn’t going anywhere past sex.
Since he finished my drink, I make another and carefully cross my leg, so I don’t smudge the nails he so flawlessly painted.
The tension is growing unbearable, so I clear my throat. “I was thinking about having a selection of board games. Cards, that sort of thing…”
I let my voice trail off as uncertainty makes me sound even drunker than I am.
A flickering of amusement flashes across Carter’s face before he takes a large drink. “Not really a fan of Monopoly if that’s what you mean.”
I roll my eyes, pleased my suggestion has taken an edge off the awkwardness. “Cards?” I suggest.
He looks less than enthusiastic, but he shrugs. “Sure.”
I get to my feet, suddenly feeling underdressed since he’s put all his clothes back on.
I pull my robe tighter, and mumble I’ll be right back. He nods, barely acknowledging me as I hurry out the door.
Hot tears burn my eyes as I stumble down the dark hallway and up the stairs. All too familiar rejection and humiliation causing a sob to catch in my throat.
I wish it didn’t sting so much that something has shifted between us. It was a mistake sleeping with him, even if it was incredible, even if the orgasms were as delicious as he was and even if it was the first time I’ve had sex in months.
I push my bedroom door open and think of all the reasons why I shouldn’t be crying.
He never promised me anything other than fixing a few things around the house. It was only a fling. Nothing permanent. Just a rebound to get over Nate.
Then why does it feel like someone is twisting barbed wire into my heart?
I choke on my angry tears as I stomp across the room, squinting into my drawers and start tearing through my clothes.
Since it’s obvious he’s lost interest, I pull out my flannel pajamas and throw them on the bed.
My teeth are chattering as I tug the robe off and try to find pajama bottoms in the dark.
I’m muttering and cursing, when l hear his footsteps, then find the bed illuminated.
I spin, a scowl on my face as a flashlight is shone on the ground. I can almost see Carter’s smile as the light moves closer. “Thought you might need some light.”
I grab the flashlight, huddling over so he can’t look at me and manage to get my bottoms on.
I pull the top on and find my robe before speaking to him again. “Thanks.”
I push my slippers back on my feet, hoping my nails are dry enough and shine the light on his face.
He squints and raises a hand to shield his eyes. “Gimme that, woman.”
Carter makes a grab for the light and wrenches the flashlight from my fingers. I yelp in pain and shake out my hand.
His voice is soft when he shines the light on my hand. “Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Stupidly, whether it’s the alcohol or his closeness or the fact that I still have debt hanging like a dark cloud over me, a strangled sob escapes.
He has hurt me. There’s no denying it. And now I’m standing, crying in the dark, with quite possibly the sexiest man I’ve ever met, who's probably wondering if I’m unbalanced.
Thankfully, he doesn’t shine the light on my face, so I can hide the emotion threatening to give me away. I push past him, holding in tears as I make my way down the stairs.
My eyes are blurry, and it’s still dark, so I cling to the railing and descend as quickly as I can.
I stumble into the living room, and grab my drink, swiping at my eyes and trying to pull myself together before he comes back.
I finish my drink too quickly and feel my head swim as I refill it. I take a seat again and try to think rationally.
My fingers tap on my thigh in time with my toes as I wait for him to return.
I need to come up with a solution. And fast. I have no idea how illegal loans work. Since they operate outside of the law, I’m not sure if calling the police will help or makes things worse.
A slight buzzing sound coming from the table jolts my thoughts back to the present.
Carter’s cell is lit up. I flick a look at the doorway wondering if he’s coming, but when I don’t hear him, I reach for the phone intending to take it to him.
I glance at the screen and can’t help but read the message displaying.
This isn’t the best timing, dude, even if I want to see you but I’ll let him know. Talk when I can. Ellie.
Ellie. He’s texting someone called Ellie and she wants to see him.
My fingers are still curled around the cell when I hear a sharp intake of breath coming from the doorway.
I scramble to apologize, holding the phone out to him when the anger on his face and the pillow and blanket tucked under his arm make my blood run cold.
I extend a shaky hand and fumble over my apology. “Your phone was buzzing. I was coming to give it to you.”
He snatches it out of my fingers, looks at the screen and near growls at me. “Right. I was just coming to say I’d sleep in here tonight. Andy will be here first thing, don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea about us.”
My heart starts thumping against my ribs as Carter shoves his phone back in his pocket and glares at me.
Anger spikes in my stomach as I pull my shoulders back and lift my chin. “No. We wouldn’t want to do that.”
I spin on my heel, and storm out of the living room, drunk, stupidly angry he wants to pretend nothing happened, and even more annoyed at myself for caring.
The last thing I want is for rumors to start spreading about me being a slut. I already have to deal with pitying looks and less than subtle asides about how similar I am to Jane.
If Carter wants to forget this happened, then I’m not going to hold it against him. I try to convince myself I’m okay all the way to my icy bedroom.
I tug my robe off, fling it on the bed, and slide under the covers all while I try to stop the room from spinning.
I can’t believe I even thought this might last longer than the weekend. I should have seen it coming. I should have prepared myself for it.
Am I that messed up, that blind when it comes to men, that I’m doomed to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again?
I have to undo this. I have to find a way to act like I’m okay with leaving things unsaid and unresolved. If I can do that I can minimize the damage done by this reckless weekend.
All I have to do is pretend nothing happened, be polite, tell Andy he did a good job.
Then I just need to make sure I never have to see Carter or his incredible body ever again.
I groan and slap a hand over my eyes. In a town as small as Rover’s Retreat, that is damn near impossible.
I’d either have to become a reclusive hermit just like Aunt Jane ended up being, or he’d had to leave. Since neither is possible, I turn over and pull the covers up to my chin.
My toes creep over to the side of the cold bed where Carter was last night. I jam my eyes shut, desperately trying not to think about how close Carter is, how my entire body responded to his touch and allow myself to drift into a light doze.
***
Carter
I throw the pillow on the sofa and lie down, legs dangling over the end as I try to get comfortable.
The blanket is scratchy as I pull it up to my chin. I’m pissed. Uncomfortable, and pretty sure she just saw the message that came in.
I shift so the spring isn’t poking into my spine and watch the flames flickering in the fire.
I could be upstairs in a comfy bed, with soft sheets and a hot woman curled up beside me.
But no. I’m down here. Thinking about all the reasons that I can’t go apologize and make her scream my name again.
That’s no longer an option. And it would be stupid and pointless to go find out whether she’d be willing to forgive me.
Any other time, under any other circumstances I’d be up there making amends, promising her ten kinds of heaven.
The message she saw. The message I sent. Means that’s not possible. He’ll know I’m coming back.
Even if it kills me to walk away from such an incredible woman, she deserves someone better than I can ever be.
She deserves a guy who doesn’t have anything to hide. And that isn’t and probably won’t ever be me.
I jam my eyes shut, listening to the fire crackling and the old house creaking as it settles down for the night.
This is the kind of home I always pictured myself living in when I was a kid. It’s the kind of house that I’d want my own kids running around in.
My eyes open as I look at the living area and the fireplace. I can almost see it decorated come Christmas. Stockings hanging on the mantle, a tree I chopped and Brooke decorated beside the window.
I can see her baking cookies. Wrapping presents. Everything I never had.
Brooke probably had that kind of childhood. Great parents, safe neighborhood, the kind of childhood guys like me can only fantasize about.
My phone buzzes in my back pocket and I nearly wrench my back trying to get it before I miss another message.
Even though she should be upstairs, I keep my voice low as I press the phone to my ear. “Carter.”
A long breathy sigh comes down the end of the phone. “You’re really coming back?”
I hear voices in the background and the clink of glasses. “You’re at the bar?” I ask.
Her voice carries a squeak when she answers. “Yeah. Not that I don’t want to see you, but why now?”
I cross my ankles and peer up at the ceiling, taking my time before I answer. “It’s complicated.”
Eloise barks a laugh. “Isn’t everything?”
A smile makes my lips curl upward. “In my life, it is.”
I can almost hear the regret in her voice. “Carter, this isn’t the best time—"
I swallow hard. She doesn’t need to finish. It’s never a good time. “You told him I’m coming?”
She sighs. “Yeah. Oh, shit, he’s calling me—"
My gut twists into knots at the panic in her voice. A male voice gets louder before she hangs up. Out of habit, I delete the evidence she called, and switch my phone to silent so I can get some sleep.
I formulate a plan, thinking of all the angles, everything that can go wrong until I’m no longer confident I can pull this off.
I shake off my unease and start to plan exactly how I’m going to tell Andy I need to take some time off.
And how I’m going to say goodbye to Brooke in the morning.
***
Brooke.
Sunday 6.40am
I wake with a roaring headache, my mouth so dry it feels like I swallowed cotton and a queasy stomach I’m pretty sure has nothing to do with my hangover.
It’s Sunday. Andy will be here today. I glance out the window as I pull myself out of my warm bed and shrug on my robe.
The snow has stopped falling. But a thick blanket of white covers everything from out my window to the trees lining the property.
The floor is freezing as I hop step to find my slippers. I use the bathroom and take a freezing shower in the hopes it’ll shake loose my headache and anxiety growing in my middle.
I dress quickly, stomach starting to growl as I head back downstairs. I enter the kitchen expecting to have to start the fire and fix breakfast but find Carter reading a week-old newspaper, drinking coffee in the warmth.
He looks up and jerks his head to the silent generator. “The power’s back on.”
I nod slowly and walk around the table, nerves creeping higher as I pour some coffee out into a mug.
I take a sip and lean against the counter, eyes on him as he carries on reading the paper.
The clock on the wall ticks too loud, my heart too fast given his cold treatment.
I’m not sure what to say, so I carry on drinking my coffee, feeling my head clear as the caffeine works its magic.
When he still hasn’t said anything but toast pops behind me, I frown at him and take a seat at the table.
I run a hand through my wet hair and huff out a breath. “You sleep okay?”
He rubs his nose, flicks a look up at me then shrugs. “Fine. You?”
I copy his shrug, wondering how long this frostiness is going to last, or whether I should apologize to lighten the tension.
Carter finally folds the newspaper and gets up. I watch him grab the butter out of the refrigerator and start to spread his toast as I finish my coffee.
I chew on my lip as I run through multiple topics of conversation in my head. How we ended up so awkward after such an incredible few nights, is beyond me.
He loads his plate with toast and retakes his seat. Just when I think he’s never going to speak to me or show me any indication we can move past the awkwardness, he shoves his plate towards me so I can share his toast. “You need a new sofa.”
I’m so relieved a snort a laugh through my nose as I snag a piece of toast. “Sorry. I can’t find one that matches the other pieces of furniture. You must have been uncomfortable?”
He pulls a face as he chews. “I’ll survive.”
Carter uses his toast to point out the window. “Weather is settling. Andy should be able to get here soon.”
I swallow down my mouthful of toast and push the plate away, appetite vanishing. “Okay.”
He holds my gaze as heat starts to burn at my cheeks. “It’ll take a few hours to plow through the snow.”
Carter’s eyes are shifting to where the tops of my breasts are accented in the v neck top I picked.
My breathing is getting too quick as I desperately try to stop myself from thinking about all the things we aren’t saying.
I scramble to find the right thing to say, but the entirely wrong thing comes out. “What do you want to do until he gets here?”
My pulse quickens even further as he taps his finger on the table-top. His voice is too low, too masculine, too enticing when he replies. “What I want to do is irrelevant.”
He pushes away from the table, a frown on his face as he stalks towards the door, mumbling under his breath.
I’m on my feet before he gets halfway across the room. Annoyance and restrained lust are brewing inside me. “Just so I’m clear. This is how we leave things?”
He turns and looks at me, eyebrow cocked, expectation on his face. “Brooke, I’m not who you think I am.”
I shake my head. “You have no idea who I think you are.”
He leans against the doorframe. “You’re barking up the wrong tree. I’m not relationship material.”
To emphasize his point, he stares openly at my chest and licks his lips. “The snow’s stopped. I’ll head back to the truck. No point staying here if I don’t need to.”
Anger makes my cheeks burn. “Sure. Fine. I’m sorry this was such a terrible experience for you.”
His eyebrow rises then a faint hint of annoyance flickers over his face. “I didn’t say that.”
When I just stare at him, Carter spins on his heel and breezes out the kitchen door as if he didn’t just shatter my ego into a million pieces.
I’m not sure if I’m angry or upset, but I’ll be damned if I let him walk away thinking he can have the last word.
I stalk down the hallway ready to tell him I’ll be making sure it’s Andy fixing my wall, when I turn the corner into the living room I slam straight into a solid wall of muscle.
I yelp as he grabs me by the upper arms and tries to right me. Something dangerous flashes in his eyes.
I try to get out of his grip, but he’s holding fast as his eyes search my face. “Brooke, I can’t…”
He looks so torn, a little of my anger and hurt starts to ebb away. My heart is rapid, skin blazing as he looks at my lips hungrily.
I want him so bad I start to tremble in his arms. “Can’t what? Be honest with me?”
My hand is shaking as I reach up to run my fingernails through his chin stubble. “What if I said I don’t care?”
Carter’s chest is rising and falling against mine, his fingers creeping under my shirt and warm against my lower back. I run my fingers over his bottom lip, and he closes his eyes then sighs deeply. “Fuck it.”
His eyes pop open as he kisses me hard, tongue probing mine as he pivots and pushes me against the wall.
His hands roam over my breasts as I start to fumble with his jeans. I kiss him, ignoring all warnings that’ll it hurt even more to watch him leave and give in to the desire flowing through me.
I yank his jeans and boxers over his now hard cock and sink to my knees. I slide him inside my mouth, my moans mingling with his.
I suckle him, growing more aroused with every gasp of pleasure he utters as I taste how turned on he is.
His hands are in my hair as I lick and suck him until he’s shaking. I look up, and his eyes lock on to mine. “You’re going to be the death of me, woman.”
He grabs me by the shoulders and wrenches me up, so we’re eye to eye. His kiss is fierce, rough and harsh as if he’s claiming me as his.
He spins me around and kisses my neck as his fingers work their way inside my jeans until he’s sliding inside my panties.
When his fingers meet moisture, he groans into my ear as he slides his finger inside me. My knees are close to buckling, nipples stiff when he tugs my jeans down so my bare ass is against his body.
His eager groans and his touch make my breathing increase until my legs give away.
I hit the hardwood floor, and he yanks off my boots and jeans and spreads my legs so he can bury his face in my bush. I tug at his hair, gasping his name as his tongue brings me to climax.
I half scream half moan as pleasure ripples through my core making me even hornier than I was.
All rational thought disappears as I yank his jeans down to his knees then straddle him so I can fuck him as hard as I want.
I grab his shoulders, pumping angrily until I’m coming, dizzy and barely conscious of what I’m saying.
I keep riding him as hard as I can, sweating from the exertion, as he half grunts a response to what I must be asking him. “Brooke, shit, I’d do anything for you,” he pants.
Our groans resound around the hallway as he grabs my hips and bucks under me, pumping furiously until his body is still beneath mine.
I lie on top of him, skin clammy, heart racing against his. His arms go around me; his breath is hot in my ear as he tries to calm his breathing.
Over the pounding of his heart, I hear the faintest sound of activity outside.
A solid knock makes me jump and scramble off him, eyes wide as I search for my jeans.
My hand goes to my mouth as Carter jumps to his feet. “Brooke? Carter? It’s Andy.”
Carter’s face is flushed, and he looks as flustered as I do when the knocking sounds again.
I pull on my jeans and straighten my clothes the best I can.
Carter meets my eye for a split second and my dire embarrassment is replaced by a knot of loss.
Did he mean it? Did he mean he’d do anything for me? Or was he just in the throes of orgasmic heaven and unaware of the promises he was making?
Either way, he’s leaving. And with Andy right outside, there’s no time to convince him to reconsider.
