Chapter 13

Friday 6.13 am

Ellie

I slide into the booth and force a smile as the owner of Westdale’s best coffee shop, Maggie, ambles towards me, her smile as wide as her girth.

For the last five days, I’ve been the first customer to arrive, some mornings I’ve been here before she is, so set in my routine, that I still wake up at the crack of dawn despite being on ‘vacation’.

By the third morning, she’d done away with the reserved manner she has for tourists and told me in no uncertain terms that while I was here, I eat free.

Sure enough, she’s holding a cup of coffee and a menu as she approaches. “Morning, honey. How’s that knee doing?” she says.

I smile wider, and gratefully accept the strong black coffee she places in front of me. “Morning. And it’s a little stiff, but the brace and the ibuprofen helped.”

As has become our custom, she slides into the booth, her stomach grazing the tabletop as she sends a warm smile in my direction.

“But you didn’t sleep?”

I shrug lightly. “It’s so quiet. And so dark. I guess I’m used to the hustle and bustle.”

She wrinkles her nose and slowly shakes her head. “Are you sure you have to leave on Sunday? It can take a while to settle into the rhythm of things here.”

I take a sip of coffee and don’t bother to hide my appreciative groan. “I’m kind of at a loose end. I’ve walked most of the trails. I’ve done all the touristy things, and I’m not sure what’s left for me to do here.”

She frowns hard, but in a motherly sort of way. “Coming here was supposed to be relaxing.”

I wince and take another sip of coffee to stall. “You sound like Grace. No wonder you two are friends.”

She chuckles, making her chin fat wobble. “I’ll take that as a compliment. Although I doubt Grace would let you get away with this. She offered you her cabin to rest and take some time to recover. But I don’t think I’ve seen you sit still for more than twenty minutes since you got here.”

I can’t argue with that, so I just smile sheepishly. “This is the longest amount of time off I’ve had from work in six years. It’s a hard habit to break.”

She narrows her eyes. “I can imagine it is. But if you don’t find a way to unwind, you’ll be what breaks. Your body is trying to tell you something. Maybe it’s time you slowed down and listened to it?”

I know where this conversation is heading because we’ve been having it since I arrived, and not just because she’s conspiring with her old friend and my supervisor, Grace. “I haven’t been to the hot springs up the mountain. Maybe that will help my knee?”

She looks up at the map pinned to the wall above the table. “There are a few off the beaten track, that are open-air and okay to use. But steer clear of private property. I know of a few disgruntled tourists who thought they could sneak onto a privately owned hot springs. It’s not worth the risk. They’ll call the Ranger before your feet hit the water.”

I follow her line of sight and try to gauge the distance. “I’ll be sure to steer clear of private property.”

She looks about ready to tell me for the fourth time there are precautions to be taken when hiking, but when the bell tinkles above the door, she’s forced to wriggle out of the booth to attend to another customer.

Relieved I don’t once again have to explain why I can’t sit still for long, I settle on granola, yogurt and fruit, even though I don’t feel like eating.

Given the tension in my shoulders and my aching knee, the hot springs in a private location sound like a great idea.

When Maggie delivers my food, I shovel it down, barely taking the time to swallow as I try to plan my day.

But just like they always do, my thoughts start to drift to areas I wish they wouldn’t. And before I know it my heart is palpitating, and my hands are shaking.

I need to keep moving.

With another wooden smile plastered on my face, I wave at Maggie, mouth ‘thank you’ and hastily exit before she can tell me again to watch out for the wildlife.

I hurry down the street, avoiding making eye contact with anyone, and slink towards my car.

I’m about to open the driver's door when my cell buzzes in my pocket. The coverage is so patchy here, it takes me a second to recognize the vibration is my phone ringing.

I get in my Nissan Pathfinder and close the door before I pull my cell out.

Since I’m nearing the end of my stay, I should have guessed my supervisor, and the reason I’m here would be calling.

But even seeing her name, makes my already erratic heartrate skip a little more. “Hi, Grace,” I answer.

I can hear the intercom, the sound of the patient buzzer, and all my muscles tighten even further.

Grace sounds rushed as her voice crackles down the line. “I have about three minutes before handover.”

My fist curls at my side, and I grip the phone a little tighter. “You need me back sooner?”

She snorts and covers with a choked laugh. “Elinore, that’s pitiful. Really. No. I’m calling because we found an RN. She started her trial last night so I wanted you to know you can extend your leave like we talked about.”

I swallow hard and stare out at the sun peeking over the mountain tops. “You mean like you talked about? I don’t need another month off. This is ridiculous I’m fine.”

Grace sighs wearily. “No, you aren’t fine. You had a panic attack. I found you hiding in the closet. And the cramps in your hands were so bad you couldn’t hold a pen.”

I glare at my dashboard. “I was just tired. I’d just worked seven nights straight. But I’m fine now, and you have a nurse, so the load will be less. And I need to work. I need to keep busy.”

“This isn’t up for negotiation. I’m legally required to enforce this. You have another week of paid leave and we have a nurse to cover you. Quit pretending you don’t need to deal with it, or your pain will only get worse.”

She’s too tactful to say what she really thinks is the cause of the pain in my hands and arms.

But I know she thinks they are probably all psychosomatic, trauma-induced, and my refusal to speak with the shrink is making it worse.

When I don’t say anything, she sighs again. “You’ve worked for me for four years now, Elinore so I let it slide when you assured me you could do your job. But this is now out of my hands. The evaluation is mandatory.”

I exhale the breath I’ve been holding and close my eyes. “You know what this means. I’ll be the nurse who couldn’t handle the pressure.”

She near growls at me in response. “Elinore, I’m trying to help you. You’re one of the best nurses I have, but I’ve seen this too many times to count. What we do isn’t easy, and no one expected you to just bounce back from this, but denying it affected you isn’t helping anyone.”

Angry tears start to build in my eyes as I slouch back in my seat. “So that’s it then? I have no say in this?”

Her voice softens a little, but I can hear her name being paged so I know she’s out of time.

“You have a choice. You can stay there and try to figure things out on your own, or you can come home to see the counselor. But whatever you decide, you won’t be coming back to work full time until you pass an evaluation.”

Cold spills down my spine as I think about opening myself up to a psychological evaluation.

“You don’t understand what you’re asking me to do. I have my way of dealing, and revealing my deepest darkest secrets, is not one of them.”

I can hear the impatience in her voice, and know I’m fighting a losing battle.” “Look, if you won’t see a counselor, at least find someone you can trust to talk to, okay? You don’t have to go this alone.”

It’s all I can do to nod and promise to think it over. Because I am alone.

Completely, pathetically, and painfully alone.

I switch my phone off, grab my map, swallow a few more pain meds, and to keep from thinking about someone poking around in my head, I put the car in drive.

***

Cooper

I lean against the mahogany bar I had custom made and stare out at a view the realtor described as breath-taking.

Rain has started to fall, and the clouds are rolling in covering the blue sky, and the dense trees surrounding me.

But I didn’t buy the place for the view. And I have no need to go outside; if anything the weather changing gives me even more reason to stay here.

Sooner or later I’ll have to go back to the city, but for now, the cabin I bought six months ago is the perfect place to make a decision about my future.

My cell is on silent, but the screen lighting up on the bar where I left it lets me know I’m not going to be able to hide here for much longer.

I check the ID, then jam the phone against my ear. “Is the building on fire?” I ask.

Her irritation is audible as she sighs. “Not yet. But given the mood Michelle is in, it’s only a matter of time.”

I smile as I toy with the whiskey bottle on the bar. “You know the rules. While I’m away, whatever she needs, make sure she gets it.”

“How is it that I’m the partner of this place, and she has all the power? And you? You’re useless. How long are you going to hide in the mountains and leave me to deal with staff problems?”

I hide my amusement, knowing it’ll only rile up my business partner and long time friend, Samantha even further. “A week tops. Just till I can come up with a design for the Henderson place.”

“Mmhmm. And in the meantime, I have to give Michelle a mini-fridge to keep her damn probiotics and vegan cheese in.”

That does get a laugh out of me. “Why can’t she use the staff refrigerator?”

Sam affects a nasal whine eerily similar to Michelle’s. “It’s contaminated. People store meat in it.”

I take a sip of whiskey and frown as I imagine our strictly Vegan, and legitimately obsessive-compulsive secretary demanding her own fridge.

And if it wasn’t for the fact she was the best secretary we’d had since opening a decade ago, I’d tell her she can slum it with the rest of our employees.

“Tell her, if she wants one it’ll have to wait until the end of the tax year,” I finally say.

She snorts down the line. “Fine. But I’m not doing this again. You can hire an HR person or something. You know I don’t deal with people well.”

I chuckle lightly. “Think of it as good practice. Never know when I might decide to become a silent partner.”

“Ha! You wouldn’t last a week not being at the helm of your empire.”

I shake my head. “It’s hardly an empire. And don’t be so sure I won’t resign and leave you to run things. You’re just as qualified as I am.”

She’s silent for a few beats before she sighs heavily in my ear. “Please don’t tell me you took this impromptu vacation to go look for her again?”

I know what’s coming next, so I anticipate the disdain in her voice when she carries on. “You’re chasing after a ghost Coop. She doesn’t want to be found. I know that sounds harsh, but she made her choice. You did everything you could for her. We all did.”

I can’t answer that. Not over the phone anyway. “I need to go. Evan Henderson is expecting the blueprints on his desk by the end of next week.”

“Sure. Fine. Give me a call when you’re done hiding from the real world.”

I end the call, and to make the most of the peace and quiet, switch the phone off, and leave it on the bar.

I stare at it for a few seconds, fingers hovering guiltily as I think about Sam dealing with all the work I’ve dumped in her lap.

To distract myself, and to keep from switching the phone on again, like I do on the hour, every hour, I check the security cameras.

When I’m sure no one has made a wrong turn, either intentionally or unintentionally, I pour myself a glass of Dutch courage.

Since the email came in two days ago, and I know I can’t stall any longer, I cap the bottle and take my glass of ten-year-old whiskey to my desk.

I take a seat, flip open my laptop, and take another sip as I re-read the email, I wish I’d never seen.

We have a possible sighting in Texas. I need to confirm, but it’s a solid lead.

Chris.

Like a devil on my shoulder, I can hear my lawyer’s voice in my head telling me to let sleeping dogs lie.

But the other voice, the angelic one that sounds like my pastor, is telling me I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t see this through.

I lean back in my chair and procrastinate by checking the stock exchange, the weather report, and the price of gold before I return to the email.

I stare, unblinking until the words blur on the screen, and I can’t think of another way to stall.

I tap out an email to Chris.

I’ll be there ASAP.

I’m about to hit send when an alarm starts to sound signaling someone has penetrated the perimeter.

Since it buys me a short reprieve from committing to the email, I shut the laptop and stalk across the polished hardwood floors until I can see my state of the art security system do its thing.

But my tourist isn’t human. I recognize him immediately as the black bear who likes to plunder the raspberries planted at the front of the house.

With a chuckle, I lean over ready to switch the alarm off when another alarm is tripped letting me know I have another security breach.

I scan the monitors and catch a glimpse of a female, dressed in hiking gear, stumbling around a few yards from the bear.

I squint into the screen as she wanders almost directly in front of the bear, currently obscured by the raspberry bush. “Dammit.”

There’s no way I can ignore a woman on my property. The bear isn’t a worry, he’s just here for the berries, and doesn’t stick around once I warn him off coming too near the house, but the woman is another story altogether.

When I look again, I see why she’s heading this way. She’s limping, and from her gait, hurt bad enough to think coming here was her best option.

Without another thought, I hit the off button before hurrying out of the room.