Chapter 11

Sawyer

She doesn’t say anything as I land. Jake is waiting beside my truck, looking miffed I took so long.

He eyes Marlene as she climbs out. With the rotors still slowing, I just nod and gesture for her to get in my truck.

“How much trouble am I in?” I ask him.

The tiniest of smiles appears on his face. “No more than usual.”

I smother a smile. “Talk later.”

He looks at Marlene again. “Looks like you need to do as much damage control as I do.”

I nod slowly, fatigue starting to take hold. All I want is a shower and to unwind.

But Marlene deserves an explanation. And after what she’s seen, I owe her a lengthy one.

“Yeah. Tell Jess we have a confirmed kill of the suspect. Jacob Landers was collateral damage.”

He nods tersely. “No other intel supports agents in that location.”

I nod wearily. If Marlene wants to go back, it's safe for her to do so. Soon as the bodies are picked up, and if Jess is on the case they will be by now, Marlene can go back to normal.

With a final goodbye and instructions not to disturb me unless urgent, I jump into my truck and glance at Marlene.

She’s pale and looks exhausted, but she meets my eye when I start the engine. “You okay?”

Her lips press together and she exhales loudly. “No. I’m exhausted, confused and pissed off with you for lying to me. What are you a secret agent?”

My eyebrows rise before she rolls her eyes. “Oh forget it. Just take me to your place.”

I pull out of the compound, feeling way too relaxed given the shit I’m in. But I don’t care.

Marlene is safe. The mystery is solved.

If only telling the truth about myself was as easy.

I figure I can at least fill her in on what I found, so I start telling her what I know about Elaine and Jacob.

I clear my throat. “So, Elaine, real name Nadia Lebedev, defected ten years ago. As well as a new identity, and relocation to a coastal village like she requested, she also got a nice chunk of change for selling secrets to the US.”

As I drive down the highway, I check on Marlene’s expression. She’s frowning and staring at her fingers. “Go on,” she says.

I rub at my blurry eyes and continue relaying all the information Jake and I have found.

“Since she didn’t trust banks looks like she held on to the money until she could find a safe place to keep it.”

“The lighthouse?” Marlene guesses.

I nod and keep my eyes on the road ahead. “We can’t confirm that as yet. We’re still investigating.”

In my peripheral vision, I see Marlene’s brow knot. “Investigating? You mean searching my lighthouse?”

I nod. “And the entire property.”

She curses under her breath. “Wonderful.”

I turn the signal on, to head back into the city. I carry on, in case her questions turn towards me. “When I spoke to Jacob Landers, he told me that up until six months ago, most of the Island assumed it would be made into a tourist attraction.”

Marlene is so quiet I wonder if she’s fallen asleep, but she’s leaning her head against the window, chewing her lip. “Where does the petition fit in?”

I smile. “That’s why I started digging deeper. My assistant got hold of the file clerk and managed to get a name. Elaine wanted to remain anonymous so she used her Russian name.”

Marlene shakes her head. “But she listed the lighthouse and Jacob sold it to me?”

I smother a yawn as I answer. “I spoke to the coast guard. They remember talking to a woman, and not Jacob. It makes sense it was Elaine that took the call and agreed to list it when Jacob potentially wouldn’t have. That way she could try to put buyers off. I’m still piecing together the time frames, so I can’t answer all your questions. But seems like Jacob selling it wasn’t in her plans.”

“So, she just started threatening me in the hopes I’d leave?”

I nod as I pull into my quiet cul-de-sac. “Yeah. She signed up to your website. It started from there, and when it didn’t work, she amped up the volume.”

“Bitch. No wonder she was always trying to get me to go to those damn meetings. She was trying to get me out of my house.”

I’m not sure if she’s truly pissed off, given that she saw me in action, I can only imagine she’s still in transient shock and possibly transferring her emotions.

I carry on. “There’s still a lot I don’t know for sure. And technically I should have waited for confirmation before coming.”

She eyes me. “Technically? You weren’t allowed to come?”

I shrug. “I wasn’t about to sit on my hands and wait till I was granted permission.”

She shakes her head and sighs. “You must have had a reason.”

I pull into my driveway and switch off the engine. “I came because I noticed they’d booked a holiday to France tomorrow with no return tickets booked. Given the way she didn’t hesitate to shoot him, I can only assume she was planning on taking that trip alone.”

She nods slowly her eyes on my garage door as she speaks. “I don’t buy it. There has to be more to it. He said he was in love with her.”

My stomach clenches. “She’s also a master manipulator. I looked at her files. Some had doubts as to allowing her citizenship. She’s cold, calculating, brilliant but ruthless and willing to sacrifice anything for her country.”

Marlene adjusts herself in her seat so she’s looking straight at me. “That sounds awfully familiar.”

I can’t really contradict her, so I go with a shrug. “I guess I have a little in common with her.”

Her eyes narrow. “How do you know all this? Isn’t this top level?”

I wish I could tell her no. So I go with the truth. “Yeah.”

She blows out a breath, looking about as worried as I thought she would. “Please tell me you have alcohol? Because after today, I don’t think I can take anymore without some vodka.”

I smile despite myself. “Yeah. I have lots of alcohol.”

She slides out of my truck and I watch her for a few seconds before I reach back and grab her overnight bag.

With a jolt to my stomach, I realize this is the first time I’ve brought someone here.

And if I tell her everything about my job, it’ll be the first time ever; I trusted someone enough to do so.

If the enormity of what I’ve risked to go get her didn’t hit me before, it does like a tidal wave as I unlock my door and I invite her inside.

***

Marlene

My nerves are so shot, I slump into the plush sofa the second I see it.

Sawyer closes the door behind me, his eyes on me as I lean my head back and stare at the ceiling.

“I’ll go grab us a drink,” he says.

I close my eyes and exhale as he leaves me in the living room. When I’m sure he’s gone, I open my eyes and sit up, so I can examine his house.

Boxes line the walls. A table is beside the curtained windows, a sickly-looking pot plant on top.

Nothing is adorning the walls, nothing of any significance. No mementos, no personal touches. There’s not even a television set.

If this is his home, it’s obvious he doesn’t spend much time here. When he returns with a couple glasses, I take one from his fingers with a sigh. “How long have you lived here?”

He glances at the boxes as he takes a seat on the armchair across from me. “A while. I never got around to unpacking.”

There’s something in his voice that begs to be explored, but he looks uneasy, so I give him a smile. “I should call Liz. I was talking to her before…”

I can’t say it. But he seems to understand. “I can ask my assistant to call.”

Since I don’t think I can talk to Liz without saying the wrong thing I just nod. He places his drink on the arm of the chair and pulls his cell out of his jean pocket.

He taps a message and sends it before tossing the phone on the coffee table.

Sawyer grabs his drink and downs it in one gulp. “You aren’t asking me questions?” he says.

I sip my own drink. It’s strong, and I can only assume it's vodka as I requested. “That’s because I don’t know where to start.”

He sits back in his chair and removes the weapon from his waist. My heart speeds as he places it on the coffee table. “I told you I was in security. And that was the truth,” he says.

I swallow another mouthful of my vodka. “Homeland security?” I guess.

A flickering of a smile appears. “Pretty much. A division of anyway.”

I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about this sudden explanation. I’m not even sure why he’s finally telling me. So I ask him another question. “Are you in trouble?”

His eyebrow lifts slightly. “Possibly. I’ll have some explaining to do tomorrow morning.”

I sit forward, wrapping my hands around the drink. “Your job is…covert?”

He nods slowly. “I’m part of a small team of retrieval specialists. We fall under the umbrella of Homeland Security but we have ties to most federal government agencies.”

I have nothing to say, and at this point, I’m starting to get even more worried about what I have inside my darkroom. I was right not to show him. “What are you an ex-marine?”

He looks almost irritated. “Special forces. Green beret.”

My eyes almost pop out of my head. “Um, okay. Well, that explains a lot.”

Sawyer leans forward. “Look. I never meant to involve you in my life this way. Obviously, this isn’t the sort of job that allows for a relationship. Sleeping with you was…selfish.”

I blow out a breath. “Your wife knew what you did then?”

He shakes his head, forehead knotted as he runs a hand through his hair. “She was always… I couldn’t give her that to deal with too.”

My head is starting to swim with the overload of information. “So what happens now? Can I go home?”

His expression lightens. “In the morning. The PR department will be coming up with a story tonight to give to the local law enforcement. I’ll have to sign a statement saying I detained you for questioning.”

“Detained? That’s what this is?”

A shallow smile forms on his face. “Informal. But yes, this is me, a federal officer, detaining you while your residence and property are searched and cleared.”

Something flickers across his face that leaves little to the imagination. He seems to shake himself and clears his throat. “I’ll let Kurt know you’re safe and that this is resolved.”

At the mention of Kurt and his capacity as an officer of the law, I know this will be the end of the line for him. For us.

“This wasn’t ever going to be permanent between us was it?”

He flinches as though I’ve struck him. “I won’t put you through what my wife went through.”

His eyes meet mine, and for the briefest of moments, I see a wealth of pain inside them.

He’s conflicted. And if I were a complete bitch, I’d push him to commit when it’s obvious he can’t.

Instead, I force a smile. But my hands are starting to tremble as exhaustion pulls at my body. “I’m really tired.”

His expression is still wary but he nods. “The spare room is at the end of the hall. I put your bag in there; I didn’t want to presume—”

I finish my drink and fake a smile as I stand. “I think that’s for the best.”

Stupidly, I extend my hand. He stares up at me, an incredulous expression on his face. “Marlene, I—"

I smile harder and drop my hand. “You don’t need to feel awkward. You achieved what you came for. You solved your puzzle. You did your job.”

I step back ready to escape to the spare room he’s put me in. My throat is thickening as I swallow. “It’s okay. I’m okay now. You saved me. So, thank you.”

He rises and looks at me with so much heat; I forget to breathe. He’s an inch apart from me, and if it weren’t for the blood splatter on his shirt, I’d probably kiss him.

It takes all my will power to do it, but I won’t let him see the tears about to fall. So I pivot on my heel and start to walk away from him. “Goodnight, Sawyer,” I call over my shoulder.

***

Sawyer

I stare after her, watching her walk down my hallway, walk past my bedroom, and into the room no one ever slept in before.

Does she know what this is doing to me? To know she’s inside my home, inside my head, that her presence is enough to make me want to promise her things I can’t?

She’s telling me it’s okay. Telling me she won’t hold a grudge. I don’t know if she means it, I just know my heart feels like it’s being ripped into a million pieces as I hear the bedroom door close.

I want to take her in my arms. I want to promise her the world.

But I can’t. I made that promise before. And I broke it. I broke a woman I loved. I won’t do it again.

And if I’m right about the photos she has, it’s more than a conflict of interest for me to even consider pursuing her.

But, fuck. I want to. More than anything.

Since she’s effectively given me an out, I double-lock my front door, set the alarm, and grab my Sig.

I hover by my bedroom door, looking at the bedroom beside me, before putting my weapon under my pillow.

By the time I’ve showered, and in the kitchen looking for food, wondering if I should make her something to eat, my indecision is worse, not better.

I pull out a beer, close the refrigerator, and go back into my living room. Living room is a joke. I’ve never done anything close to living in this room.

Or any of the rooms in the two bedroomed townhouse. I didn’t even choose the house, or care about anything other than the location.

I slump into the sofa and stare at the boxes. I should have unpacked them by now.

A part of me knows and doesn’t want to admit why I haven’t. This isn’t a home. This isn’t what I pictured when I joined the army. I never set out to work undercover. I never anticipated wanting more.

Even when I was married, even though it shouldn’t have been, even though it crushed my wife, the job was always more important.

It was every boy’s fantasy. Adventure. Danger. Adrenaline rush after adrenaline rush. But staring at the unpacked boxes filled with a life with a woman I loved and lost, and Marlene’s glass on the coffee table highlights the holes in my life.

I never wanted more. I thought it was enough. It’s an honor. A privilege to serve. To keep my country safe.

After Emily, after what I drove her to. I didn’t deserve even that one weekend of bliss.

I stare at the wall. Empty save for the tiny holes where the previous owners must have hung their pictures.

Not me. There are no pictures of where I’ve been. My family barely knows what I do. I don’t trust anyone. Not after Emily. I can’t afford to involve someone in this mess of a life I’ve made for myself.

And whatever Marlene loosened in me that weekend, needs to be shoved back in that box before I do something I’ll live to regret.

***

Marlene

He’s gone when I wake. I should have expected it. But when I use the bathroom and find a note taped to the mirror saying Jake will arrive at 8am to take me home, stupid and pointless tears brewing in my eyes.

I check his bathroom cabinets but don’t find anything else that might let me into his life.

Since he’s left me, and I still have time to spare, I go into the living room and stare at the boxes.

How many damn secrets are inside those boxes?

I shouldn’t, but since I’m pretty sure it’s over before it’s started, I ease open a box, and gingerly peel the cardboard aside.

The first box contains screeds of documents, so I move on to the next on the pile.

My heart is in my throat as I pull out a framed photo. My breath seizes in my lungs as I look at Sawyer dressed in his combat fatigues.

He’s smiling, with his arm wrapped around a woman, blonde, pretty and smiling at the camera.

A pang of guilt strikes my middle as I slide the photo back in the box. I lean over, and peer inside, seeing what else I can find out about him.

I shuffle through more framed photos he’s never bothered to hang. I assume most are his family, his sisters, and more of him with his army buddies.

I check my watch and curse at the time I’m wasting. I move on to the next box on the stack and dig around until I find a few letters shoved in a folder.

At first glance, they seem to be medical bills. So I read the first few lines and nearly drop the paper.

Bereavement leave approved.

Please accept the department’s deepest condolences for the loss of your wife, Emily.

I’m so shocked I don’t even bother to read anymore. Just push the paper back inside the box.

I slump into the sofa and stare at the door as if he’s about to walk through at any moment and explain himself.

She’s dead? His wife didn’t just leave him because he was hard to live with; she died.

Why the hell didn’t he say?

I’m still in shock when a light knock on the door makes me jump. I hear a key twist and the man I saw yesterday appears in the door.

He nods in my direction and raises a coffee and a bag. “Thought you’d need breakfast?”

I smile at him and get to my feet. “You’re Jake? Sawyer’s assistant?”

He scoffs. “That’s what he’s calling me? Fine, it’s better than some of the other things I get called.”

He stretches out his hand and I accept the coffee and bag of food. He swoops down to pick up my bag and gestures to the door. “Sawyer said to expect questions, and he’s authorized me to answer a few.”

I follow him out the door and wait for him to lock and set the security system. “He did?”

Jake grins, making him look even younger than I suspect he is. “I can talk as I drive you. You have a flight at 08.30.”

I sip my coffee and climb inside the SUV parked outside Sawyer’s home. I glance around the strangely quiet neighborhood, wondering where all the activity is.

Jake throws my bag in the back and switches the engine on the engine as I open the bag of pastries he’s brought.

I was too overwhelmed to eat last night, and my stomach is growling as I bite into a delicate, flaky pastry. “Is this a new housing development?”

Jake fastens his seat belt before replying. “It’s for military personal only. Anyway, you need to be briefed about what happens when you go home. And you’ll need to sign a confidentiality and non-disclosure agreement.”

He slides a form across the seat. “Read it on the plane then sign it. An agent will meet you at the Portland airport and drive you home.”

I frown into my coffee as he rattles off the story they must have come up with. “As far as you are aware, Sawyer was working on a case involving drug smugglers and a drop off went bad. Elaine and Jacob Landers were killed in the ensuing arrest.”

I choke on my coffee. “What? People won’t believe that?”

Jake grins. “It happens more than you think in coastal towns, and it’s not the first time it’s happened here. Sawyer found a couple of similar instances. One in the eighties and one reported by the paper at the turn of the century. Well, that was bootleg rum, but you get the drift.”

I sip my coffee, alternating between chewing and trying to come up with questions. “And that’s the sort of thing you and Sawyer do, just make up shit like that? And hide the truth?”

He sends me a wry look. “When we have to. Just like you don’t always report all the news you see, right?”

I have nothing to say that contradicts him. I know that’s the truth. “How long have you worked for Sawyer?”

He near growls. “With, he calls me his assistant to piss me off. He thinks it’s funny.”

I smother a smile at how irritated he sounds. “What’s Sawyer’s nickname then?”

“Remington.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Like the gun?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. Like the TV show from the eighties. You know Remington Steele, shady private detective.”

I snicker at the apt description. “Got it.”

He nods and sends me a curious glance. “You know he’s lived there for a couple years. Never seen him take anyone home, not even his family.”

I’m not sure why he’s telling me, but it does make me curious and make me summon the courage to ask about Sawyer’s private life. “Did you know Emily?”

Jake’s mouth presses together and his fingers tighten around the steering wheel as we drive out of the eerily quiet cul-de-sac Sawyer lives in.

He shakes his head. “That was before I started working with him.”

I swallow. “Do you know anything about how she died?”

Jake glances at me. “Did he tell you she died?”

I shake my head guilty. “I found the bereavement leave notice.”

He exhales. “Sawyer didn’t say what was off-limits, and he’s cleared you as a non-security risk so go ahead and ask.”

Wonderful. I’m not a security risk. “Was it an accident?”

Jake’s face scrunches up. “Not exactly. I mean, kind of.”

Not an accident but kind of? “That’s not really helpful. But fine. Was she sick? Cancer?”

He shakes his head. “Not sick in that way.”

I frown at him as he pulls out onto the highway heading back to the airport Sawyer flew me into late last night.

If I weren’t so exhausted, I’d be more intrigued by all this covert intelligence. But I’m more intrigued by Sawyer’s late wife.

“Um, not sick as in cancer,” I mumble.

I take a few more bites and finish my coffee. “But it was accidental?”

Jake shrugs slightly but doesn’t say a word as we carry on our bizarre game of charades.

He’s even more frustrating than Sawyer was, and in minutes we’ll be out of time.

I tap my fingernails on the top of the plastic coffee cup lid and scowl at it. My head snaps up. “It wasn’t suicide?”

Jake nods slowly. “Yeah.”

Oh shit.

Oh shit.

Oh shit.

“She took a bunch of pills after Sawyer left the country. She was in a coma before he even reached his destination. Like I said, I didn’t know him then, but apparently, he almost quit. He blamed himself,” he says quietly.

This is so much worse than I could have imagined. No wonder he’s so hesitant to start a relationship or to let anyone in again.

I can only imagine what that would have done to him.

I’m still in shock when Jake ushers me onto the private plane.

I barely smile at the pilot or the female agent assigned to escort me as I take my seat.

All I can think about is Sawyer Steele and how much I want to tell him I’m sorry I didn’t understand.

***

Sawyer

My boss doesn’t even wait for me to take a seat in her office when she jabs her finger at me.

“What the fuck are you trying to do to me, Steele?”

Jess Waterman, second in charge to the secretary, is past furious. “You took a government helicopter without permission, and my assistant just told me you’ve ‘borrowed’ a plane to drop your girlfriend back off home.”

I frown at her. “What do you want me to say? Sorry? I also uncovered an ex-spy, living and committing criminal acts on US soil. I can’t apologize for doing my job.”

A little of her anger seems to settle as she sits behind her desk. The emblem of the Home Office right at her back. “You know you’re a pain in my ass. I have to answer to my bosses, and you already have a reputation as a rogue. I can’t let this go unpunished.”

I shrug. “Do what you have to do.”

She eyes me, then gestures to a file with Marlene’s name on her desk. “Are you trying to get yourself discharged?”

I don’t answer her. There’s not much I can say in my defense. This is all too familiar for her and for me.

Her voice softens a little. “You can’t carry on like this. I know what losing Emily did to you, God knows I do, but you need to decide whether you are in or out. There is no in-between.”

If she were anyone else, and if she hadn’t lost her husband to cancer a year ago, maybe I’d give her more grief, but the second she took over as department head and became my boss, hot on the heels of my second infringement, Jess saw right through me.

And she’s on to me now when she opens the file. “Yes, you did your job. But you also went off-grid for almost the entire weekend. You know that warrants more than a slap on the wrist. At your level, that’s not something I can overlook.”

I knew this was coming so I word everything carefully. “Jake knew where I was. There’s a log with operations confirming I needed to go incognito to investigate the intel we got.”

She shakes her head. “Not good enough. You have a responsibility to follow the correct procedure and follow the chain of command. I was not informed, and while you have an amount of autonomy, doing a favor for an old friend, and checking in on his ex while investigating was unacceptable.”

I keep a straight face when she adds. “You agreed to these terms when signed the confidentially contract. You don’t get to swan off doing as you please. Not while you're stateside.”

“I’ll take the reprimand. The demotion, transfer. Whatever you think best.”

As always she’s one step ahead of me. “Transfer? You’ve already thought this through, haven’t you?”

I try to keep myself in check. “Like you said. This can’t go undisciplined. I’ve looked at similar cases of misappropriation of government property. It doesn’t warrant dismissal, but it does warrant an audit.”

I’m sure she’s close to rolling her eyes at me, but she just exhales. “Agent Sawyer Steele, you are hereby relieved of your duties until an investigation into your unsanctioned activities are concluded. Until such time you will be grounded and will no longer have access to any and all government property in your capacity as an agent of Home Land Security.”

It’s a formality and one I’ve been through before so I nod. “I understand.”

If she’s disappointed in me, she doesn’t show it as she motions to the door. “There are easier ways to impress a woman than throwing your career away, you know.”

I have no intention of throwing away my career, but since she just gave me what I wanted, I just nod.

I breeze past Jess’s receptionist, Moira, and she pulls a face at me. “Ouch. In breach of contract again?”

I shrug and lean on her desk to look at the picture of her kid in a frame on her desk. “Yeah. One more black mark and I’ll be in the mailroom,” I joke.

She snickers and gestures to James, her Autistic son. “He’s been asking when we can go visit your sister again.”

I smile and steal a handful of the peanut M&M’s she keeps on her desk. “I’ll let you know when I’m going next and I’ll pick you both up.”

She grins and looks incredibly pleased. “Great. Thanks. You know obsessive he gets, he’s not going to quit asking, and it would be great to get some time out.”

I frown at her as I pop a few M&M’s in my mouth. “Jarod’s not doing his part?”

Her shoulders tense and she doesn’t have to answer. I know enough deadbeat dads and have one myself to know he isn’t.

James can be hard to deal with, he likes to make a lot of noise but his language skills are delayed, so communicating can be rough.

But as far as I’m concerned, compared to a lot of kids, he’s easier to please.

Give him a Lego set, sit on the floor and build things with him and he’s insanely happy.

“Let me call my sister and see when they can have a playdate.”

The phone starts to ring, so I walk away, chewing the M&M’s and wondering what I can do to motivate her douche bag ex.

With nothing to do but clear out my desk for the second time this year, I take a seat in my cubicle, which I barely use and start to sort through the dozens of messages on my desk.

I reply to a few emails, ignore most and stare out the window at the concrete city outside.

The air conditioning beside my desk is on the fritz again; budget cuts mean I probably face another stifling hot summer inside if I choose to come in.

Like most field agents, I loathe the office, so as much as I can, Jake and I work out of cars, trucks, planes, hotels, restaurants and damn near anywhere else we can manage it.

I give up, grab a few things from the desk I don’t use and make my way to the elevators.

I depress the button for down, tapping my toes in my boots as I wait for the door to open.

I go through the rigorous security checks and emerge in the bright sunlight with a plan, and an itch to finally make the phone call I’ve been putting off.

It’s a nice day, so despite the congestion, I find a park bench with no one close by and pull out my cell.

There’s a text from Jake on screen, so I read it.

She just landed safe and sound. Driving self back from P to L I.

He doesn’t sign off but I know Marlene landed in Portland and by the sounds of it refused to have someone from the agency drive her home.

I should have guessed she’d not be happy about that. Her aversion to law enforcement has its roots somewhere and I’m fairly certain I may know where.

I dial Kurt’s number, expecting to leave a message, but his phone is answered by, I think a Vietnamese woman. “Who this?” she says.

I frown as scuffling sounds carry down the line and Kurt’s voice comes down the line. “Damn it, Linh, do not answer my phone.”

Linh is not amused by Kurt but he manages to extricate himself from her, far enough that I can hear her yelling at him. “Sawyer? Sorry. Crazy bitch. I got her pregnant. Can you believe it? Her family are connected to the government. It’s a stitch-up. I’m sure of it. They’re telling me I have to fucking marry her and bring her home to the States. I’m going to have to leave town.”

If I wasn’t already in a mood to tell him what an asshole I think he is, that would have done it. “Maybe you should stop fucking every woman in sight?”

If he takes offense, he’s too distracted as he rattles off some Vietnamese. There’s blind panic in his voice when he whispers. “Sawyer, get me out of here? Get a copter in, do something, anything.”

There’s way too much smugness in my reply. “Sorry. I’m no longer on active duty. I can’t help you.”

“Sawyer, please, what? Come on, Linh—what no, I’m on the phone—”

The line cuts out and I burst out laughing earning me a pointed look from a mom pushing a stroller past me.

I smile at her, distracted, stupidly pleased Kurt’s in the shit. I hope it’s a stitch-up. I really do.

Because if anyone deserves to get a taste of their own medicine, it’s a serial womanizer like him.

I get to my feet, whistling as I stroll through the park and head back to my truck.

***

Marlene

It feels surreal driving into Lander’s Island. Even more unnerving is driving past the realty office and seeing a closed sign and knowing why.

I’m not sure I want to go home just yet, even though there is no longer a threat, so I pull into a park a few doors down from Landers Convenience.

A few locals eye me curiously, so I can only imagine what they are thinking. I climb out of my rental, feeling unsettled and out of sorts.

It’s calm and still out of the harbor, the sun is reflecting off the hills, creating an almost paradise-like vista and if I wasn’t so off-kilter, I’d grab my camera and go take a few photos.

Instead, I open the door to Kyle’s store, half expecting him to shoo me out as a troublemaker.

He’s behind the counter, making coffees, smiling and joking just like he always is.

I don’t really need anything, but I’m also in no hurry to home. And I’m beginning to suspect; it’s not just the traumatic experience of last night.

It’s also knowing that Sawyer isn’t and probably won’t be there sharing my bed, asking me questions I don’t want to answer and never will be again.

I force a smile to my face as I approach the counter. Kyle looks slightly off, but I have no way of telling if it’s due to my behavior or what’s been going on.

There’s no sign the police have been here, but when Kyle’s eyes widen and he gestures to me I know he’s got news he wants to tell me about.

I lean closer and don’t miss the excitement in his voice. “Why didn’t you tell me he was a DEA officer?” he whispers.

I suck in a breath, uncertain of what I can and can’t say when he looks decidedly cagey. “I thought he was a thug that had stolen your laptop. I didn’t know he was undercover investigating my cousin of all people; you’d never have guessed it.”

I frown at him. “Stolen my laptop?”

His eyes dart around before he leans closer. “When he came in here and he had your Dell, he wouldn’t tell me a thing. He looked deeply suspicious.”

I ease back as the door opens behind me, signaling a customer has come in. “He was, um, borrowing it,” I say.

Kyle nods eagerly. “I see that now.”

“Sawyer, er Agent Steele said you were spooked by the dog and you knocked it off the table? I thought you liked dogs?”

He manages to take a pause in breath and look sheepish. “Well, no. I don’t. But you seemed to…”

Oh. We’re back to that again.

Since the damaged laptop and Kyle’s interest are now the least of things I have to worry about, I smile and feign a yawn. “Well, I better be going home. All this excitement and I’m exhausted.”

I’m about to tell him I’m sorry for his loss when his brow knots. “And it’s safe to go home?”

Even though I’m not sure I believe it, I nod. “It is. No more smugglers.”

He looks a little disappointed. Strange considering his cousin is dead. “Well, of course. I mean, but you can’t be too careful, maybe I should—”

I shake my head and smile. “Thank you. I’m sure you have arrangements to be made. Your cousin? His wife?”

His face darkens. “Second cousin. Twice removed. And I never trusted that woman.”

“Um. Right. Well,” I start to say.

He scoots around the counter, an eager expression on his face. “If you like, I could close up and come back with you? You know, to make sure everything is okay.”

I swallow and try for a smile. “Oh. That’s very kind, but I’m fine, really.”

He steps closer, and a wall of sickly aftershave wafts towards me. He puts his hand on my arm and smiles. “Marlene, I’d very much like to see you home safely.”

My skin starts to crawl and I have to force myself not to react that he feels he has the right to touch me. “Kyle. Please don’t get the wrong idea. I like you. As a friend.”

His smile slides from his face as his hand slides from my arm. “Oh, of course. I mean, I oh, well, I just thought…that, we have a connection?”

A lump forms in my stomach. “You’ve been a great friend.”

He nods slowly then frowns. “Is there someone else I’m competing with?”

Oh, hell no. “I am not a prize,” I say.

He backs up a step, confusion on his face. “I didn’t mean that—”

I interrupt him, my patience dissolving along with my politeness. “Kyle. I’m not interested in you. I’m sorry if you thought I was, but I never gave you any indication of that. Did I?”

His manner switches immediately, a flush of red on his cheeks. “Well, n, n, no. Uh, I’m sorry, I have Aspergers, sometimes I have difficulty reading, well. You know.”

I have no idea if he’s making excuses for his behavior, but it gives me an out, so I smile. “Don’t worry about it.”

I’m too tired to bother to reassure him or make sure it’s not going to be awkward, but it does explain why he’s acting so blasé about the death of his cousin and wife.

With a smothered groan, I head back to my rental, making sure I meet the eye of people as I walk back. When no one gives me the stink eye or calls me names or acts differently I get back in my truck feeling marginally better.

I even spy Sean on the jetty. He gives me a hearty wave as I drive by. So I’m fairly certain I’m not the town pariah after all.

I turn on the radio and listen to the news channel and head back along the coast road; I flinch when the report comes in about what happened.

—turn of events, local drug enforcement agents have uncovered a smuggling ring involving prominent Landers Island residents, Jacob and Elaine Landers—

I switch the radio to another channel and try to focus my thoughts on what I should expect when I get home.

If I’d expected agents to be crawling all over the place, parked up the drive before my gate, it’s the exact opposite.

Nothing looks out of place. It’s a beautiful day. I’m surrounded by the wilderness I love, and all I can think about is what happened on the beach below me.

The sea will wash away all traces of violence. All trace of Sawyer’s presence and the reasons he came here. I wish it could wash away all traces of my residual fear.

I pull up to my lighthouse stomach tied in knots and stare at my truck. I leave the rental running, my heart tapping too fast as I try to psych myself into getting out.

My front yard has been cleared. None of the debris from the hurricane remains. I can only assume it’s all been hauled away as evidence.

How they managed to do so in such a short space of time, is evidence of how covert Sawyer’s job really is.

I exhale slowly. Feeling halfway stupid as I climb out of my rental. I don’t even know how it’s going to get back to Portland. I was too strung out to even think of that when I told the uber professional agent I’d rather not have her drive me.

I’m not ready to go back inside the lighthouse, so I close the door and make my way to the stairs to the beach.

From the top of the platform, I can see nothing but rocky sand, waves and the cave, and the outcropping of rocks I hid on last night.

I think of Sawyer, of what he did and why and find myself scowling into the wind.

I spin around, filled with new energy as I consider something Sawyer failed to mention.

The money. Where is the money?

I rush back to the cottage, keys in hand ready to call Sawyer and ask when I realize I dropped the phone outside last night.

But it’s on the base where it should be. I don’t know who returned it. But it’s back, and even more peculiar my cottage seems tidier.

Panic jolts my stomach as I head to my darkroom.

The door is open and every last photo I had is gone.

Humiliation and anger surge through my body as I back out of the room and stride to the phone.

Liz answers on the first ring. “Marlene? Oh, thank God. Some government agents were just here—”

“Did you give them the proofs?”

“What? Um, well, I gave them to a guy called Jake, he works—”

“I know who he works with. Never mind.”

Liz clears her throat. “Well, I’m glad you are okay and this is all over with. Crazy to think smugglers were using your beach.”

I’m so angry I can barely speak. “Mhmm,” is all I can manage.

“Anyway, now that, well, uh, this is hard for me. But I’m sorry, I can’t keep working for you anymore.”

My knees buckle and I fold onto the sofa. “I know this has been stressful—”

It’s her turn to interrupt me. “It’s not that. Well, partially. I just heard from Kurt. He’s, well, I’m not going to be working for him either. I think I just need to do something else for a while. I’m sorry, I really am.”

I have no idea why, but I’m close to tears. I really don’t think I can take any more.

I just want to crawl into bed, lock the door and not come out for a week.

I sniff and try not to sound as upset as I am as Liz starts to apologize. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.”

Trouble is. I’m not sure I will be now that Sawyer has my photos.

I end the call. And stumble into my kitchen. My laptop is sitting on the kitchen table.

I don’t know why, but the last of my resolve crumples as I slump into the chair. Shudders start to wrack my body violently as I start to cry.

It’s not enough I was stalked, attacked, and nearly killed. But now the woman who worked for me has been forced to quit, and the one person I thought I could trust just betrayed me in the worst possible way.

And there is absolutely nothing I can do about any of it.

***

Sawyer

I pull into the supermarket, pick up some snacks I know the boys will like and drive back to my sister’s neighborhood in time for lunch.

It’s a bustling hub of suburbia as usual. Toys are scattered over front yards, an abandoned bike has been left on the sidewalk, and I can hear kids squealing in back yards.

A smile twitches at my lips as I knock on the front door and hear a stampede of feet trampling towards the door.

“Do not open the door!” I hear my sister scream.

The door cracks open and a freckled face toothless Jett grins up at me. “Thawywer,” he lisps.

His brother, Todd, two minutes older and wearing his new glasses pushes past him looking annoyed. He points at his front teeth. “I still have mine,” he says.

Karly is frowning as she comes out of the kitchen. Her eyes narrow as she spies the bag I’m carrying. “Oh, you did not bring sugar into my house.”

Belatedly I recall the trampoline incident. “Ah, crap,” I say.

The boys let out a whoop as I hand them the bag with a grin. They take off before their mom can grab it off them, earning me a curse. “You jerk off. I can’t wait till you have kids. I’m going to make you pay.”

I chuckle and shrug. “I’m counting on it. But I got them healthy stuff this time, I swear.”

She rolls her eyes and heads back into the kitchen she came from. “I’m making pizza. You can unload the dishwasher and tell me what’s been going on.”

I open the dishwasher, stuffed full of plastic and start to put the dishes away. “You know I’m not going to tell you anything.”

She huffs a breath as she slams the pizza dough on the countertop. Flour billows around the kitchen. “Yeah. I know. What about your personal life? Anything you can tell me about that?”

I stall while I close the cabinets. I grab a beer from her overstocked fridge and take a seat at the counter. It shouldn’t be so hard to admit it, but the words are stuck on my tongue. “I met someone.”

She stops what she’s doing and gapes at me. “How?”

I can’t exactly go into that, so I shrug. “Through work. Sort of.”

Karly smiles. “What does she do? Where’s she live? Oooh, lemme call Rach, she’ll want to hear too!”

I wince at the excitement in her voice as she ditches the pizza dough and picks up her cell to call our sister at work. I guess I should have expected this.

The last time I talked about a woman was when I called to say I’d asked Emily to marry me. Karly gets my sister on the line as I finish my beer. “I’ll put you on speakerphone,” she says.

She lays the phone on the counter as Rachel starts firing off questions, culminating in an almost shouted, “Tell us everything!”

My cheeks heat as I frown at the counter. “Her name is Marlene. She’s a photojournalist.”

Rachel breathes down the line sounding far too excited for a lawyer. “And? Give us details; my boss is on the way back from court.”

I frown even harder. “And, she’s bossy, hard-headed and stubborn. But she’s…also….pretty fucking great.”

Karly grunts across from me. “Oh, wow. This is serious.”

I squint at my beer bottle as I rip the label off. “It could be. If she forgives me.”

Rachel sighs. “Karly? I gotta go but do not let him off the hook. I expect details.”

When Rachel signs off. Karly eyes me as I check my phone in an effort to avoid her. “What you do that needs forgiving?”

I avoid meeting her eye by staring at the fruit bowl on the counter. “My job.”

She blows out a sigh. “Ah. She’s involved in something. It’s not a simple boy meets girl, boy wants girl, blah, blah.”

I shake my head. “More like boy meets girl, boy fucks up, probably loses girl for good.”

“But you don’t know that for sure? I mean, does she like you?”

I snort. “Some of the time. Some of the time, I think she wants to hit me.”

Karly chuckles. “Well, that’s how I feel around you, so, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Jett tears into the kitchen, eyes wide interrupting any further questions. “Thodd’s tooth thame thlose, theth’s blood evethyfhere,” he tries to say.

Karly sighs, and starts to head in the direction of the now howling Todd. I get off my seat and stop her. “I’ll go.”

She smiles at me and nods. “Thanks. I need to get these done.”

I leave her to the pizza making, take Jett’s hand and follow the howling until I find Todd in the boy’s bedroom.

With a hasty instruction to his brother to grab the first aid kit, I crouch down and try to take a look. “Mind if I see the damage?”

His eyes are filled with tears as he removes his hand from his mouth. Jett was a little overdramatic about the level of blood, but Todd’s front tooth is now conspicuously absent to match his brothers.

“Hmm. The tooth fairy is getting more aggressive or you got into a boxing match with your brother?”

Todd shakes his head but his eyes flick to the door behind me. I swing around and nearly laugh out loud. A piece of string has been attached to the door. I follow it and find a bloodied tooth on the carpet.

“Ah, the tooth wasn’t ready to come out but you wanted to be the same as your brother?”

He screws up his face and hiccups. “He got a nickel under his pillow,” he says.

I should have guessed. Monetary gain was the objective. I squeeze his bony little shoulder. “I’m sure your dad will give you a nickel too.”

He seems a little happier when his brother rushes in with the first aid kit. I clean up his face and give him a fist bump.

“I better go tell your mom you’re both intact.”

I leave them playing Lego, and finishing the last of the snacks; they don’t seem to have realized are a pale imitation of real ones.

Karly is putting the toppings on the pizzas when I grab another beer. “Minor casualties. But Chris will be out of pocket when he gets home tonight.”

She shakes her head. “Tied his tooth to the door? Damn YouTube.”

Karly washes and dries her hands as she grabs a beer and joins me at the counter. “I found Marlene’s website. Did you know she worked with World Vision and Unicef?”

I nod. “Yeah. They have nothing but great things to say about her. She worked for free.”

Karly swigs from her bottle. “You contacted them? As part of your, um job?”

My face contorts. Marlene’s professional life was important, but I can’t say that wasn’t the only reason I was asking. “Partially.”

Her eyes narrow. “What’s stopping you from making this happen?”

My chest tightens as I breathe out a long sigh. I’m not about to talk to my sister about this. I’m not sure I’m ready to even think about why.

“Work,” I say.

Karly shoots a look out the door then lowers her voice. “That is a lot of shit. You could make it happen. Work has been your excuse for too long. I know you have regrets, and Emily was an amazing person, but she was unwell and she had been long before she met you.”

I tense. I don’t want to hear this. “I’m not starting something that I…”

She doesn’t make me say it. And I lose the chance to when the boys decide to start having an argument in their room.

Karly sighs and places her beer on the counter. “I need to go break this up. But if Rach was here, I know she’d say the same thing, if you keep using work as an excuse, you might miss out on having something really amazing in your life.”

She leaves me sitting drinking, wondering what it would be like if it were me coming home to pizza for lunch, twins and a house filled with noise.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I frown before I answer. “Thought I was seeing you after the hearing?”

Jake grunts down the line. “You’re going to want to see these.”

I curse and push back from the counter. “I’m at my sister’s place. There’s a diner two blocks from Karly’s. Can you get there?”

“Yeah. See you in ten.”

Since I’m due back at the office, and I can’t afford to be late, I go find Karly and apologize for missing lunch.

It takes a few minutes to explain to the boys, but I manage to get out by promising to bring James next time.

I missed lunch, and I’m not sure how long the hearing will take, so I pull into the diner parking lot, ordered a burger and wait for Jake to arrive.

I choose a booth at the back so I can see the entire room and tap my fingers on the table as I wait.

The waitress smiles warmly as she places my food down. “Double cheeseburger, extra pickles.”

I thank her distractedly, watching the seconds tick on the clock. I see Jake’s truck pull in as I start to eat.

I wolf down half my burger and manage to drink half my soda before he slides into the booth across from me.

I’m wiping the grease from my chin when he lays a folder flat on the table. At the expression on his face, I know it’s about as bad as I thought it’d be.

“Who is it?” I ask him.

I carry on eating as he takes a quick look around the near-empty diner. “High level.”

My curse is muffled when I push my plate aside. “And no one else saw? Just Liz?”

Jake nods. “Didn’t take much pushing to convince her to quit. Looks like all this stalker shit then the smuggler story and me turning up pushed her over the edge.”

I shove a few French fries in my mouth, not bothering to check the photos. “How do you want to play this? I’m overstepping just by talking to you.”

Jake shrugs and squares his shoulders. “This vigilante stuff is your game. You want someone to go after the fuckers that do this, do it. I can take care of the leak.”

A smile lifts my lip. “You’re a great assistant.”

His eyes narrow. “Yeah, and you’re a grade-A Jack off.”

I smirk as I tap my finger against the glass as I think of the potential fallout. “Can it be traced back to her?”

He shakes his head. “Don’t see how. It was a fluke. Not even sure your pal Kurt knew what she was up to.”

I growl low. “Not my pal. He’s a dick and if there hadn’t already been intel about unusual offshore activity off the Island, I probably wouldn’t have gone to check on her.”

Jake’s eyebrows rise. “Really? Even after looking on her website and seeing what a stone-cold fox she was?”

There’s no point denying it, so I change the subject. “Go ahead and do it. But make it clean. I can’t afford for this to come back and blow up in my face.”

Not now. Not when I’m so close.

He starts to get up. “Be seeing you, Remington.”

I know better than to extend my hand, so I just nod in his direction. With his footsteps ringing in my ears and fully prepared, I open the folder.

I don’t need to look for long. And in a public place, I can’t. I don’t know how Marlene happened to be there, but I can see why she’s kept them hidden, and why she distrusts law enforcement so much.

I leave a few bills on the table, along with a tip, tuck the photos under my arm and push the doors open to the cold grey day outside.

I check my watch again and don’t bother to hurry to my truck.

I switch the ignition on, put the truck in drive, and prepare to face the committee that’ll seal my fate.

***