Chapter 7
Sawyer
Sunday 5.36pm.
If I’d pictured her snapping dirty photos of me in bed, in the warm, I was sorely mistaken.
I should have guessed her preference would be outside. But I had no idea she’d suggest we hike down to the beach.
Any other woman, any other time, and maybe I’d have refused, but I shrug into my jacket and follow her out the door.
The daylight is dwindling; the air is salty and brisk as we walk across the grass to the stairs leading to the beach.
She tilts her head and tucks her hair behind her ear. “What was open apart from Lander’s convenience?”
I glance at the ocean, watching the waves roll lazily in as we descend the wooden steps. Hard to believe a hurricane just blew itself out only hours prior. “Nothing else that I saw. What did you need?”
She looks over her shoulder but carries on stepping down, hair flying about as the breeze blows it. “I need to board up the windows. Pretty sure there’s enough timber lying around the grass to do the job. I have some tarp, and a nail gun, that should do it for tonight.”
At the mention of a gun, I shift so we’re shoulder to shoulder as we step down. “What other weapons do you have around here?”
She sniffs. “Um, other than a wicked right cross?”
I know she’s cracking a joke, but it’s not what I need to hear right now. I wait until we reach the sand before answering her. “You said you had a weapon?”
Marlene screws up her face and raises her fists. “Yep.”
When she feigns punching my shoulder, I grab her arm and wrench her towards me. “This isn’t a joke. I’m leaving and I can’t…”
Her eyebrows rise and her face relaxes. “You don’t need to remind me. Can’t you just switch off? For one night?”
I exhale slowly, wishing I could answer yes. Instead, I deflect. “Are we going skinny dipping?”
She chuckles and shakes her head as she points to the end of the beach. “I was planning on showing you my cave. But if you want to take your clothes off, I won’t stop you.”
With a growl, I make another grab for her, but she’s too quick. She takes off down the beach, jogging backward as she holds her camera. “Race me,” she calls.
I shake my head then launch myself at her making her squeal and pivot on her heel.
I pump my legs and let her get to the caves before me.
When we make it huffing and breathing hard to the cave carved into the side of the cliff, it’s completely cut off from the water, an old tin chest with a lock is inside, and it’s bone dry.
Her cheeks are rosy as she grins. “You want to camp out? Light a fire, see the stars?”
It’s hard not to smile back at her. She looks completely at home out here dressed in her jacket and scarf, with her camera hanging around her neck.
I step into the cave, rocky sand squishing under my boots. My voice echoes slightly. “You have a sleeping bag?”
She wrinkles her nose. “Yep. And a fishing rod. I love camping out.”
Her smile falters. “I haven’t been out here in a few weeks. You know, since the emails started.”
She shakes her head and frowns out at the waves gently crashing onshore. “I’ve been to some crazy dangerous places before, Afghanistan, Syria, Yemen, but I did my best to be respectful, and follow cultural norms, and I knew when to get out. This, I can’t do anything.”
I nod and pull her into my arms, feeling the camera dig into my chest. “That’s the intention. To make you feel afraid of the place you should feel safest.”
She looks into my eyes and stares so long it’s almost unbearable. “Should I be afraid?”
I don’t know whether to kiss away her fear and uncertainty or tell her the truth. “I think you are afraid. But you don’t want to admit it.”
Her lip wobbles ever so slightly. “Wow. Either it’s obvious or you’re perceptive.”
I press my forehead against hers. “It’s not obvious. You’re good at being the tough girl, but this isn’t about being tough, it’s about being smart. Maybe you should think about visiting some friends?”
She sniffs again, but this time it’s not from the cold. I pull back and she blinks away tears. “You want me to leave? This is my home.”
My chest tightens as she struggles not to cry. “If I leave, they’ll know they’ve gotten to me, and I refuse to let them win.”
I try to pull her closer but she shrugs out of my grip. “Then don’t. Keep doing what you normally do, but for fucks sake take more precautions.”
Her breath releases in a rush. But she doesn’t argue. “I’ll start locking up. And maybe I’ll look into getting a phone installed, you know, in case.”
A smile pulls at my lips. “Good. That way I can check in on you.”
Her expression brightens a fraction. “Hmmm. Phone sex?”
I snort a laugh. “Whatever you want.”
She narrows her eyes and licks her lip. “What I want is to stop talking about this, and for you to bait the fishing line.”
Marlene takes a few steps to the chest and brings a tiny key out of her jeans pocket. She drops to her knees and pushes the key inside the padlock. The chest opens with a screech, but true to her word, she pulls out a portable fishing rod.
She tosses it to one side and digs around in the chest and pulls out a flashlight, a bottle of rum and a box of matches.
From her position on the sandy floor of the cave, she gives me a droll smile. “You do like camping?”
I help her to her feet and answer her with a kiss. Even if I didn’t, I’d probably put up with it. But I can be honest about this. “My family used to camp a lot. Occasionally I get out, but not as much as I’d like to.”
I swoop down to pick up the fishing rod, examining it as we walk towards to waves. “You got this at Lander's convenience?”
She nods as we walk towards a small outcropping of rocks. “He has a great selection. Actually, he’s gotten in a lot of stuff for me.”
I work my jaw as she settles on a rock and stares out at the water. “What kind of stuff?”
I perch beside her and follow her gaze to where seagulls are circling. Her camera is up to her eye as she answers. “Film. Batteries I use. It’s hard to get it delivered out here.”
She clicks off a few shots before swinging the camera in my direction and clicking.
I growl as she grins. “You agreed. And candids are my specialty.”
Since I did agree, and she’s agreed not to share them with anyone. I exhale a sigh. “Candids?”
She nods and shifts her weight. “Candids. Not posed, not in a studio. The best photos of people are the ones taken when no one thinks they’re looking.”
With a frown, I move closer to her. “Is that what you were doing in Vietnam? Snapping photos of people without their knowledge?”
She blinks then her mouth pinches and I know I have my answer.
I nearly groan. “Right. So, there’s a very real possibility you have multiple photos of people in places they shouldn’t have been doing things they shouldn’t have been?”
She flinches. “There might be. This isn’t the sort of job you do without stumbling on things that need to be exposed.”
I shake my head, thinking of what Kurt said. “You damn well put a target on your back, then came back to the States and announced via your newsletter you were moving out to a lighthouse on the coast.”
Her eyes pop. “What are you saying? I brought this on myself?”
I huff out a breath. This isn’t going to end well. “No. I’m saying that you are a beautiful foreign photojournalist who has a habit of pissing people off.”
She snorts and throws her hands in the air. “I don’t know why you’re getting so annoyed. What do you want me to do?”
I frown back at her, irritation surging through me. “I want you to let me see your photos.”
Marlene’s mouth slackens then her gaze returns to the ocean. “Out of the question.”
I rise, anger and frustration curling through me. “Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn? I’m trying to help you?”
She jumps to her feet, anger flashing in her eyes. “I won’t show you for the same reason you won’t you tell me about your job.”
There’s a challenge and level of emotion in her voice that’s almost unbearable. “That’s different,” I growl.
She near spits the words at me. “Bullshit. I’m protecting myself and so are you.”
Marlene jabs her finger into my chest. “You’re such a hypocrite. You want me to tell you things I’ve never told anyone before and I get nothing in return.”
I grab her hand before she can jab her finger into me again. “I’m asking you for your permission. But if this goes the way I think it will, the cops won’t give you that courtesy.”
I soften my voice and wrench her closer until the camera around her neck is the only thing separating us. “I’m trying to help. Why are you making this so difficult?”
Marlene’s fingers curl around the camera and she shifts so it’s not pressing into my chest. “I’m not making it any more difficult than you are.”
I shake my head at the ridiculous argument. “This is pointless. We’re going around in circles. And we’re running out of time.”
Her anger seems to dissipate at the reminder I’m leaving her to deal with this all alone.
I exhale, releasing my grip on her. “Please, Marlene. I need to know what I’m up against.”
Her eyes lock onto mine, and for a second I think she’s about to relent, but when she shakes her head, I see nothing but dogged determination in her eyes.
“You’re being stupid. This is serious,” I say.
She inhales sharply, nostrils flaring slightly as she glares at me. “So, I’m stupid now? Yeah, well fuck you, Sawyer.”
Before I can reply she skirts around me and jumps down off the rocks onto the beach.
She stomps off, muttering to herself as she hurries back to the stairs.
Knowing I just wrecked what could have been a romantic night under the stars with a beautiful woman, I curse into the wind, kick at a rock and scowl as I watch her walk away.
***
Marlene
Damn him. Damn his intrusion. Damn his persistence and damn Kurt for sending him here.
Tears sting at my eyes as I take the steps two at a time. I don’t look behind me to see if he’s followed, I’m too pissed off.
I reach the top out of breath and furious. Stupid? He had the audacity to call me stupid?
Asshole. It’s just as well he’s leaving. He can go and we can just put all this behind us. I yank open the door with a little too much force and send it slamming into the wall.
Moisture still threatening me, I hurry across to the back of the house and check my darkroom door.
I don’t owe him anything. I don’t owe him an explanation and I sure as hell don’t intend to give his access to my portfolio.
I hear banging sounds and frown in puzzlement until I realize he’s nailing the timber I mentioned to the windows.
How annoyingly considerate of him. We just had a fight. He’s not supposed to do something nice for me. He’s supposed to be a complete and utter prick so I can hate him and not feel this deep-seated loss spreading through me.
The hammering stops and I hear the front door open and close. Then his clomping footsteps come towards me.
He appears in the hallway and stares at me, hair wild, and looking like he just rode up on a motorbike.
With a scowl, he grabs my upper arms. I’m about ready to slap him when he releases me. “I’m only trying to protect you,” he says.
The words slip out before I can stop them. “That’s what I’m trying to do too!”
We stare at each other, his chest rising and falling as rapidly as mine is. He growls husky and low. “I could kick the door in.”
I slide across the wall so I’m blocking him. I lift my chin and narrow my eyes. “You won’t.”
His fists curl at his sides and for a moment I think I’ve misjudged his character, but he reaches around to his back and pulls out a gun. “At least keep this on you.”
My hands are trembling as I accept the weapon. My voice carries a waver as he backs away. “You’re leaving?”
His jaw works as he nods. “I have your laptop in my truck. I may as well leave while there’s still light left.”
With nothing else to say, I keep my voice as calm as I can. “Let me give you my cell so you can—"
He pats his back pocket and gives me a crooked smile. “I got it. We need to synch a time for me to call you in the morning.”
I try for a smile. “This is silly. We could have driven in together in the morning.”
He looks over my shoulder at the door. “Are you going to let me in there?”
A knot forms at the pit of my stomach. “No.”
He sighs, but whatever anger he had, has been replaced by a look I’ve seen on Kurt’s face all too often.
Resignation.
“Call Liz in the morning, okay? Tell her I want to see her ASAP. And write down those names of breakups. What time can you be in town so I can call?”
I swallow hard, trying to compensate for the growing thickness in my throat. “I can be there at 9am. I can call you at 9.30 so I have time to ring my insurance company about the laptop and to talk to Liz.”
I’m desperate to ask him if he’ll be there, in his motel, but my pride won’t let me.
He looks about as uncomfortable as he can when he gives me a guarded smile. “Get that landline in so I can call you and update you on everything, okay?”
Feeling all kinds of rejected and foolish, I manage a wooden smile as I walk him to the door. “I’ll do it first thing too.”
I open the door and he steps through and turns so he’s holding my gaze. My fingers grip the door frame, as he hovers in the doorway as though unable to leave.
“Lock the door behind me. I’ll take care of your email account and let you know when you can expect your data.”
I really don’t think I can hold myself together for much longer, so I just smile. “That would be great. Oh, what about my password? Did you change it?”
A flickering of regret shows on his face as he nods. “I left it beside your cell.”
He doesn’t move; just looks at me, making me squirm under the scrutiny. “You better go.”
Sawyer nods slowly. “Lock the doors. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
I can’t think of a single thing to say that doesn’t sound trite so I clear my throat and extend my hand as if he were a business acquaintance. “Be safe.”
If he was planning on kissing me goodbye, he seems to think better of it as his fingers curl around mine. “You too,” he says.
He releases my hand and turns. I can’t bear to watch him walk away, so I close the door.
I refuse to cry. I refuse to admit I’m hurt. Disappointed and angry. I refuse to acknowledge all the emotions bubbling up to the surface.
I sit at my kitchen table and find a white business card from the motel he never stayed at, tucked under my phone.
His handwriting looks messy and rushed. But he’s left his email address and his cell number.
And a note.
I said I was hard to live with. Get the locks changed and start using them, okay?
New password: Bestweekendever69
I stare at the card, turn it over in my hands, and this time, I don’t bother to stop the tears from escaping.
