First Love Never Die
The wind in the cemetery is always serene—as calm as the people eternally sleeping beneath the grassy ground.
Minerva placed a white lily and blue rose atop his tombstone, holding her tears not to fall on Derrick’s grave as well.
“It’s been a long time, babe.” Her voice was soft; her words were gentle and full of heartache.
Her baby kicked, making her smile. “I know, little one. As much as we badly want to see your daddy, we can’t. Giving him flowers is enough. And letting him know that both of us are in good hands.” She gently stroked her belly in a circular motion. “...and that you’ll have someone to call a daddy as soon as you come out, Hemera.”
She called her child by the name Darwin had given her: Hemera. It wasn’t so bad. In fact, it sound’s angelic and kind and…light.
Minerva tried to kneel before his resting place despite the difficulty. She just sat on the ground after failing to kneel properly because of her huge belly. “We named her Hemera, babe. Your half-brother and I—”
She couldn’t say it. It breaks her heart even further. Darwin may be there to mend her wounded heart but the scars remain—it forever will.
Minerva took a deep breath under the twilight sky and resumed. “Darwin and I are engaged. I accepted his offer that I’ll be his Mrs. Gray. I can’t survive on my own, to be honest. No matter how strong I may appear on the outside, I am meek and weak on the inside. Besides, this is much more decent than just serving him on his bed just to pay your—I mean our debts…”
She caressed the lily’s petals, imagining it as Derrick’s soft and fragrant black hair. “You are my first love, Derrick. I’m not lying. But these times…I need to be practical. Love cannot raise me alone—raise me and the baby alone. And Darwin confessed to me that he loves me and I have already fallen for him too. You once said when we buried my pet cat last year that forgetting someone or something is vital, in order to let the new ones that will soon bestow you memories may enter. And that’s exactly what I am doing, babe. I hope you’ll forgive me wherever you are now. It isn’t a sin to love someone else, is it?”
She wiped away her tears and shook her own head as if to answer her own question. “Goodbye now, Derrick. I may not have properly said it before you left but I will say it now. I accept my fate as being a debt payment because you didn’t only do it for the sake of clearing your debt from Darwin’s but also securing me and our little one’s future. I’m sorry for everything. And I hope you do too. A person may forgive but one will never forget. As was I….”
A soft, phantom wind brushed her cheeks and she smiled. “I loved you. I always did,” she declared to the wind, to the air, and to anyone who is listening in this quiet place.
The sky began to darken, beckoning her to go home. When she stood to her feet, there, in the nearest tree, she found a handsome man leaning who was just casually waiting for her.
“Darwin…” Minerva uttered his name like it was so essential and sacred for her.
Darwin wrapped his arms around her and they both walked to the car, leaving the cemetery with nothing but the flower she laid on top of him and the tears she shed for Derrick.
***
Two Years Ago...
It was the first snow of the year.
Minerva just came from the cemetery after visiting her father’s grave. When she spotted her mother with her new husband, she puked behind the tree, cloaking herself with the snow using her ivory-colored jacket.
They were smiling and giggling. The two just came out from a chocolate store. Curious, she also headed over to the dessert shop and immediately knew why her biological mother chose this particular shop. The chocolate is very aromatic, especially the chocolate éclair that has only one left.
“One choco—”
“I’ll buy the éclair, please.”
Yet, a man had bought the chocolate first. She frowned and rolled her eyes. It was also the very moment that the stranger glanced at her.
“Are you mad?” he asked.
“No,” she plainly answered. Minerva pretended to look at the other desserts in front of her, hoping that at least one of them would catch her attention.
The man walked closer. “Would you like to eat it here?”
Her brows rose. “We?”
“Yes.” He looked to the woman-in-charge and said, “Two hot cocoa, please!”
The stranger already ordered even before she could say yes. Well, there’s no use in saying ‘no’ when the man had already ordered two hot drinks and sat by the glass window.
Minerva had no choice but to accept. “You seemed very eager to eat and drink with me.”
The stranger beamed at her, replying with only a smile. He was handsome, at least. “I’m Derrick. Derrick Giordano.”
Minerva’s eyes widened when he offered his hand for a shake. “Giordano? Like the varsity player in White Hall University?”
“Yep, that’s me!” Derrick seemed to be very vivacious and cheerful. Still, the frown on Minerva’s face hasn’t yet left.
“Are you still angry because I bought the last chocolate eclair?”
“No.”
“Then why do you seem to be still furious?”
“It was so brave of you to have a cocoa with me amidst winter afternoon, knowing that I was just a plain and simple college girl and you are a varsity player with numerous fans. I even heard you have a fan club….” Derrick gave her a breathy laugh despite the gloomy tone she had muttered.
“Why do you seem very happy, Derrick?”
“Because I’ve got the chance to sit in front of my crush.”
Minerva went still. Derrick’s grin just went wider and reached his ears. She inhaled and exhaled, processing the words of this handsome teenager who claims to have a crush on her.
Left with no choice, she took a sip at the drink. “The couple that came before me before I entered the store…she was my mother and he was her new husband. My father passed away years ago and today was his death anniversary. That explains my face and my tone and all of me. I’m sorrowful, gloomy. And unloved.”
Derrick was about to open his mouth when the hot cocoa arrived, along with a blueberry cheesecake that he ordered. “For you, Minerva Miriam Miller. So that you’ll finally have a smile on your face.”
Slowly, the rain on her life had stopped and was replaced with sunshines and daisies and butterflies. Then, it was filled with rainbows as soon as her mouth tasted the blueberry cheesecake.
Her face had finally plastered a smile, making Derrick smile as well. Their eyes met, and a spark was lighted. The fire inside her heart had finally been blazing again. After so many winters had passed in her life, Minerva just found out that there’s sunshine in her life as soon as she beheld Derrick Giordano’s smile.
He was the one who made her realize that in every winter, there is a sunny summer to melt all those sadness and pain and heartache away.
The two then talked, and laughed, and ate, and drank, and talked again. And at the end of that day, Minerva went home as someone who now has a boyfriend. Gone are the days that the single Minerva had been locking herself in her room to cry and starve and sometimes even hurt herself.
Minerva was indeed in cloud nine. Snow may fall outside and frost may engulf her house. But Minerva will always be blazing inside, as the hearth of her heart has once again been awakened and lighted.
“I hope this fire will stay forever…” It was a wish, a hope, an affirmation. Yet, life cannot be called a life without the rain and pain. Sometimes it is not only rain that will come into your life. Sometimes a storm will wreck one’s life, like how it wrecked Minerva’s upon finding out her beloved’s passing.
Derrick was her first love—the one who had lit the fire. Yet, it was Darwin Dennis Gray, the man beside her now who’s driving their car home, was the one who kept that fire burning. The one who kept that love inside her chest, flaming and blazing.
