17

Lia Hamilton It was a close call. What was going on there? It felt like we were inside a bubble of our own, as if nothing and no one around existed, just the two of us. I looked closely at Lázzaro's face one more time, noticing his jaw set and his grip on my waist tightening a little before he let go of me for good.

My body shuddered. For everything I felt.

His lips began to release low curses, before pulling away I could still feel his breath caressing my skin. The same lips that I thought would touch mine, now they weren't so close anymore.

I was so ready for him to kiss me, I thought what it would be like to have him like that. Could I meet your expectations? Would a kiss with him be slow or more aggressive? Nearly crying with frustration I pulled away too, watching him as he looked down around the speedboat.

“I checked this shit out last week! He growled, he was very angry.

— Calm down, maybe someone hit her and didn't support her properly. I tried to calm him down.

"If I catch the bastard..." he muttered.

Perhaps I know that deep down, there was another reason for his extreme irritation. After all, he had money to repair or buy one hundred of those boats. Was he upset that they'd ruined our almost-kiss? I would bet so, however my low self-esteem wouldn't let such a thought go any further.

I liked that man a lot. Lázzaro could make my heart race and make me melt with just one look, I was so in love... And to think that he might be mad that they interrupted our moment, left me with some hope that he might at least feel affection for me . Maybe a special affection.

I know I shouldn't settle for so little, but for someone who hasn't had anything in their life for the last three years, it was preferable. I also know that there was something going on with him, Lázzaro was going through something very bad that left him desolate, he still didn't know what it was but he would find out at any cost.

I had already decided deep inside me that I would pretend not to feel anything for him, that I would do my best to hide how he shook me so badly, so he wouldn't throw me out again and I'd have the chance to enter, to unravel the mystery that was life. from him. Since my liking him so amazed him, I needed to know why.

"And what are you going to do now?" Can I help with anything? I asked him not knowing what else to say at the moment.

"I think you'd better go now." My chest constricted. I looked at him with annoyance, he didn't seem to notice.

- Why? If it was you who called me up. I pointed.

— My boat wasn't making a terrible mess in the ocean before. I need to call the review team now, I won't be able to listen to you. he scolded, making me lower my head.

I took a deep breath in the name of my dignity and walked away without saying a word. If that was what he wanted, he would have it this time. I said I wouldn't give up, I wasn't doing it, I would just give him the opportunity to know that I wouldn't live running after him.

"Tell me where you're living." His steps back to me were so fast I didn't even notice.

"What for, Lazzaro?" I asked in a wounded voice.

“Tell me, just tell me who you live with… I need to know, I need to. I... If that's what you want, I beg you to tell me. He couldn't look me in the eye. I could feel that I was doing something new and difficult for him.

- No. Does not matter. I shook my head.

- Of course it matters. Lia, tell me, in the house where you live, do you have a room just for you? —he looked bewildered trying not to look that way.

- Yes I have. Mrs...” I realized I was going to say too much. “Anyway, it doesn't matter. You want me to go away, I'm leaving.

"Just out of curiosity, would this be Mrs. Fabree?"

- No! I exclaimed immediately. "Where did you get that from?" I let out a nervous laugh, the tone defensive. He looked like he didn't believe me and then he smiled.

"See you later, Lia." He turned around, still smiling.

His attitude confused me, but I completely ignored him and clumsily climbed out of his speedboat. Already from a distance I looked at him one last time, what had happened, that minimal proximity, was too important for me.

Maybe Lázzaro didn't feel the same, or had no idea how he made my body react. However, it was the first time a man had looked at me so intensely, as if he wanted me for something beautiful, as if I had some power. All my traumas were still present, everything my cousins told me, and for a few minutes in his arms, just taking care of his eye, I managed to forget that I was all that bad stuff they told me.

It was clear that something very bad had happened to him, or was happening. His eyes carried the same sadness as mine, maybe even darker, I could see myself reflected there, we were both broken. To avoid further damage, I thought it best that what happened there not happen again.

Maybe Lazzaro was right and if I try to fantasize about him, the only ending will be tears. It was impossible for him to want something with me, it was a mistake that would never happen again. Maybe he was right, I couldn't like him, I couldn't fall in love, I couldn't love him.

And I... Well, I guess I was pretty sure I didn't want that to happen again.

Lazzaro Bartholomew

Accidentally someone hit my speedboat causing the oil hose to break. That was enough to make me very angry, not for the speedboat, damn that shit, but for having disturbed me when I was about to have Lia's lips on mine.

On the one hand it was good, I really didn't want to get her hopes up. If she still had feelings for me... That would be a big mistake. But her expression was one of wanting something more, just like me she was burning with desire.

Lia despite being delicate like a girl, is a woman and awakened my sexual desires. I liked having her around, but I could break some barrier with her, only if I was sure that she didn't feel anything for me, maybe just affection. That way you wouldn't suffer so much in the future.

The big problem was that I was almost becoming selfish, throwing everything up in order to have that perfect body. Without thinking about tomorrow, or a year from now when I would no longer be on earth to know her fate.

I was turning into a fucking bipolar man, who didn't know what he wanted and at the same time did. It was hell!

I left everything in the hands of the maintenance team and went home, it was almost nine o'clock at night. I took a relaxing shower and sat on the bed with my hair dripping wet as I towel-dried it dry. I let out a tired, frustrated sigh, lost.

My head throbbing as if I'd breathed in some really, really strong smell. Magdalena had given me some tea before leaving, not without asking me a thousand questions about my health, so I stayed for a few minutes. I drank three glasses of tequila and smoked two cigarettes.

I was almost falling asleep when Lia came to my mind, I couldn't dream about her again. Five times was good, wasn't it? I put on jeans and a polo shirt and suddenly decided I was going somewhere.

My body guided me through actions until I realized what I wanted to do. Something that was hammering in my mind. Could Magdalena be Lia's friend? They became very close in the time he was living with me, it was the only likely one. It didn't matter, I would know.

I dug through the documents in my office until I found Magdalena Fabree's very old employment application, I just hoped the address was the same. As I was about to open the door, the doorbell rang, I looked through the peephole and quickly opened it pulling the shivering body inside.

- What are you doing here? I asked surprised and hurriedly looking all over her body looking for something wrong.

“Mag told me you weren't well. What is happening? - his voice on a thread. Her hair was wet as if she had just stepped out of a shower.

I pulled away, averting my gaze from her. I couldn't just say: I'm sick and I'm going to die soon. That was a secret and a demon of mine alone, and only I would face it until the end of my life.

"Lazzaro, what's the matter with you?" I swear I tried not to intrude on your life, but I care okay. I care and I'm worried. Mag told me that the other day you went to another country for "routine" tests. Who goes to another country for tests if not who has something serious? she says as her chin trembles with emotion. — I can't think of anything else but that, you don't want me to feel anything for you, very well. I say that I don't feel, that I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything for you, Lazzaro. Just tell me, what you got?

Her teary eyes met mine, her small hands trying to cover mine.

— I also have my traumas, you see... I suffered a lot and there is something inside me, an affliction that I cannot understand or explain. Something inside me screams that there is something there — he points to my chest — It's not bullshit, I just can't ignore that you're going through something alone. I've already been alone and that's too bad, I don't want that for you too. Not for anyone. Your eyes denounce that you are suffering, that there is something consuming you but you don't deserve to suffer, Lazzaro! Nobody deserves to suffer. she exclaimed with tears for me, tears that wouldn't stop.

I was stunned to realize the pain that emanated from his words, pain for me. I watched her lips part again and I knew she was going to ask questions again, and the way she was asking them, demonstrating that my pain was hers too, I couldn't help myself.

So I did something I wanted, something that would silence our voices for further questioning. I decided for a few hours to let my rational side go and be the selfish bastard who wanted to taste every inch of Lia Hamilton.

Gently I pushed the thin body to the wall, I lowered my face until our lips touched lightly. Our chests rising and falling deeply, lips still in the full certainty that if we gave way, what came next would be unbeatable and nothing would stop us.

So I couldn't help myself and sank my lips into hers, knowing them for the first time.