23

Lia Hamilton

It was all very wonderful until Lázzaro got up dry and coldly said goodbye to me. All the affection he seemed to feel for me disappeared once we were out of bed. Then he left, unknowingly taking my heart with him. Lázzaro left thinking it was just another night pretending love, when for me it was never a lie.

Later I woke up after a sleepless night, with several things pounding in my head. I took a shower, changed into my work clothes, and went down to meet Magdalena for breakfast.

- Good morning! — I greeted her afraid that she had heard something at night.

- Good morning. You do not look well. He pointed, sipping his coffee.

- Yes, I'm fine. —aside from the pain in the middle of the thighs and in the heart.

“Today he will move. He looked at me, trying to read my expressions.

I couldn't look at her for a long time, because the maternal vision I had was more intense every day and just remembering that my mother knew what I was like from the inside just through my eyes, made me want to cry. I couldn't resist, lowering my head on the table I cried.

— Sometimes I ask myself, what is the meaning of my existence. I muttered wistfully. "I'm like nothing, you know, Mag?" I feel this way. Sometimes it seems that if I exist or not, it won't make any difference to anyone because no one has ever fought for me or made a point of me. I'm so tired of living with no meaning! — I burst into a silent cry that hurt every bit of my heart.

Because that's how I felt, with no purpose to live, without anyone's love, without a family, with nothing. I had nothing and consequently felt like nothing.

"Lia, girl!" Never say anything like that again. You are special to me, you are being like a daughter and I saw the difference in you from the first time I saw you, I saw the kindness I haven't seen in many people in years. I love you and you have me, you are strong for everything you've been through, you are beautiful, you are kind, you have value, you are nothing! You are wonderful and you don't need anyone to say that, just look in the mirror and recognize whether you like it or not, you are amazing! Magdalena stood up and gathered me in her arms.

It was such a nice hug that it made me cry even more. I wanted her forever in my life, I wanted her to be like the mother I lost, I needed to know that someone liked me, wanted me close. That was because my psyche was shaken, traumatized by the things I went through in the last three years and what I heard.

- I do not know what to say. Thank you so much for everything you've done and are doing for me. I thanked looking into her eyes and holding her hands tightly.

After a few more minutes of conversation, he gave me my time. I felt the strong light of the sun that was making, on my skin. As I calmly walked to my workplace. On the way I saw couples, families of all genders, so beautiful, happy. I felt a tightness in my chest, a feeling that maybe I never would have, seeing that the man I wanted, wasn't willing to give his heart and much less let me love him.

I was distracted thinking when I didn't notice someone approaching me.

- Hey! How long, runaway. I looked to the side and saw Hayden.

My desire to curse him began to threaten inside me, but then I remembered Nadia's conversation, I was so cunning that I hardly recognized myself. But from the beginning I knew that Hayden wanted something against Lazzaro, since he kept hounding me and asking about him.

It was my chance to find out what Hayden and Nadia were up to.

“Oh, hi Hayden. What are you doing here? I did my best not to show dislike.

— I live nearby, I was going to the bakery for breakfast. You are so different. So beautiful, more so than before, of course. Not that you weren't before. But I think you get the point. he said as he walked beside me with his hands in his pants pockets.

- Thanks. Lázzaro and I are no longer married. You knew? I asked in order to capture his ration.

- Actually yes. A friend told me. I glanced at him sideways and noticed a bite on my lip, as if I'd said something forbidden.

This friend, I assumed to be Nadia. One point and one proof for me.

“I've never seen you around here and it will be a month in two weeks since I started working.

'I was away, I was in Scotland for a few days. “Scotland… That reminded me of something I'd check out later.

“Wow, Scotland… Business trip? Or just fun? I really wanted to leave the country someday. I really hoped he'd think I didn't suspect anything and was just being friendly with him.

— It was just a job, I wanted to have more fun, but I didn't go alone, so it didn't work.

- Girlfriend? I asked.

- I have no girlfriend. I went with my mother. I nodded.

Interesting...

“I work over there. See you? He smiles sweetly.

"I'd like to ask you out with me." Now that he is no longer with Lázzaro, will he accept it? he asked making me jump inside.

This would be a great opportunity to probe a little more about what he was up to with Nadia. I just needed to find out as soon as possible, my heart was desperate and what I had heard about the paints in his room had left me feeling embarrassed.

- Clear. Where and when? “God, was I being too suspicious? I hope not and that he didn't get suspicious.

— There's a really good restaurant downtown nearby. Do you like Mexican food?

“I never ate. But for everything there is a first time. I forced a smile.

— So tonight I'll meet you at Me Gusta. — Hayden sounded enthusiastic. — See you later, Lia. He surprised me with a kiss on the cheek.

Confused, I walked away quickly until I reached my place of work. I had never been so cynical in my life, but I had to find out what the fuck they had put in the perfume and paint in Lázzaro's house, and as soon as possible preferably.