15

##Nightmare

Emily

I suddenly feel happy and fully recovered from the earlier "trauma". Joe is literally messing with my mind, life, body, heart, everything in me. I'm sure I hate him, but it's inevitable that I won't feel awkward when he has me in his arms, holding me like he has no intention of ever letting go.

The only thing I know at the moment is that everything I knew and believed about myself has turned to dust. I don't recognize myself anymore.

Maybe Joe isn't as cold and ruthless as he tries to show, as everyone says about The Legend. He felt compassion for me when I begged him not to break the deal with me, he chased after me at karaoke. Could it be that he felt jealous? Although the pledge to be faithful is very difficult for him, considering his womanizing history, he made me one.

By your side I feel so vulnerable, I like your touch and your safe way of finding me. But I also know that it's just physical, no more silly thinking that will never happen. Just as we're about to enter the bathroom, I hear my cell phone ring and Joe gives me a disapproving look.

"I have to answer, the way we got out of there, it's understandable that my friends are concerned." I say and he puts me down carefully.

With my legs wobbly I look for my cell phone among the clothes thrown on the floor, when I find it I answer it and quickly recognize Roman's voice.

"Are you okay? Is that your boyfriend? Since when do you have a boyfriend? Who's that guy?" His voice is desperate.

"I'm fine, talk to you later. I'm busy right now." I mutter under my breath, squint at Joe who is seething with rage.

I throw him an apologetic look, it can't be easy seeing his lover talking to another man inside his own room. I wouldn't want to see you serving any woman while you were with me. I gently hang up the phone and walk over to him, giving him a slight smile.

"You shouldn't take calls from this guy. He wants you, and you should know it very well."

"He's just a friend, an old one anyway. He has his problems but he's not a bad person." I declare softly.

"You're in love with him." He growled in annoyance.

"You got it all wrong, I never saw him as anything more than a friend."

"You know I don't like this at all." Speak coldly.

I look intensely at Joe taking in his gracious look at me. He is so possessive, he comes across as a man in love, he looks nothing like the callous and mean image I have of him.

"I understand you." I say thinking if it was me instead.

But as for Roman, he can rest assured, he'll never get anything but friendship from me. Even if I don't say it in clear words to my killer lover, I still like to see him jealous of me, it shows that at least some power I have over this wall of man.

I felt his rigid muscles relax a little, he picked me up again and finished the way to the bathroom, he removed the rest of his clothes and caressed my body sensually for a few minutes. I'm still getting used to this routine of having a man stare at my naked body, it's never happened before. Despite my shyness, I can't hide the excitement Joe makes me feel.

He turned on the strong and hot shower, I closed my eyes and surrendered once more to the delirious pleasure he makes me feel while we make love underwater until we reach a mind-blowing orgasm. After that, he wraps me in a fluffy towel drying me off. All I want now is sleep, I can barely open my eyes or get to my feet.

"Can you stay awake a little longer?" His husky, low voice pierces my ears.

I can't answer, even my voice is too weak to come out of my throat, my moans have sucked all the strength out of them. He welcomes me into his big fluffy bed and warm sheets, I wait for the moment when I feel his big body joining me, but it doesn't, instead he pulls away leaving me confused.

I look back and he's walking out the bedroom door. As if reading my thoughts and sensing my confusion, he moves his lips to give me an answer.

"My room is next door, if you need anything just whisper and I'll come."

"But..." Finally my voice manages to come out.

"I don't sleep with someone else." And then the door closes.

I can't explain the feeling of rejection that hits me that Joe doesn't want me to sleep next to him. But I'm so tired that my eyes close without realizing it and I sink into a deep dreamless sleep.

suddenly get up scared, unsure of what time it is and where I am. I switch on the bedside lamp and I remember that I'm in Joe's country house, I feel the intimate ache between my legs and the memories make my body warm.

I hear screams coming from the next room and I recognize Joe's voice, I get up quickly and wear a shirt that he left lying on the floor of the room since when I lay down it was just wrapped in a towel provided by him. When I opened the door to his supposed room , I'm terrified to see the scene of him moving nonstop on the bed and babbling several meaningless words. In the rush of adrenaline I tap his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down.

Quickly he opens his eyes and holds my hand throwing my body against the bed getting on top of me leaving me immobilized.

"And you." Recognizing me he says. "What are you doing here?" Inquire.

"I think you were in a nightmare. I was worried." I reveal.

"I don't even have dreams, let alone nightmares."

"I heard you scream, it even woke me up."

"It's not possible." Defend yourself and let go of mine hands of your grip.

I sigh at his stubbornness, obviously his pride and ego won't let him admit he has nightmares. His extremely dark hair and naked body highlights how handsome and manly he is. But most of all what catches my attention are his sad eyes, I sit on the bed and I feel the uncontrollable urge to give him a hug, so I do.

"It's okay to have nightmares. There's nothing wrong with that, our dreams are something we don't control and this is subject to all people without exceptions, and can affect even the toughest people." I speak in a soft voice.

"True?" The naivety of your question makes me see a man who doesn't exist, but for a moment I must forget who he really is.

"I have nightmares sometimes." Confess.

"Want to talk about them?" He shrugs and gives me a why not look.

"My mother was brutally killed in front of me." The pain in his voice is clear, even with his failed attempt to hide it.

"When was that?" With aching heart I ask.

"I was very young, three years old, but I still remember it like it was today, my nightmares do this favor for me."

"Oh my God, Joe... I'm so sorry." I exclaim with tears in my eyes and hug him. His muscles are tense but slowly he relaxes.

"I don't care anymore. I've done what I had to do." Speak coldly.

"No need to be tough now, I can hear you if you want to talk about anything." My compassion for others goes beyond me, regardless of who they are.

"You're curious, I know you're dying for me to tell you about myself. I have nothing to hide, so if you want to know, just ask, my sweet." He speaks in a mocking tone and I feel my face heat up.

"So, tell me about yourself…" I ask and he smiles silently.

"I wasn't a normal kid in my childhood. I was skinny and helpless apparently, but it hurt everyone around me, I enjoyed it, I smiled and felt good, that was until I was seven years old."

"I can't imagine an image of you that way, small and seemingly helpless." I say it in jest to ease the tension about his dark history. I know there's more to it than that.

"But I was. Like I said, in appearance only."

With his hands he gently slides down my thighs, finding my breasts, he starts to raise them a little more, he gently squeezes making me have several shivers with the intimate and pleasurable touch.

"Stop distracting me Joe." I whisper in a weak voice. He lays me down on the bed and gets on top of me, positioning himself between my thighs and I feel his evident erection.

"Am I distracting you, my pretty one?"

"Please, Joe... I want to know, I really want to know more about your mother..." I confess and he gets tense.

"My mother died when I was three years old, I saw it all. Her blood running down the floor was a pool for me, her killer insisted that I take a bath, literally with the blood of the woman who gave me life. he left me like that at the door of my old house, where my father found me, and he went into despair, thus causing mine. I was not a normal boy during my life, this event never left, I had many nightmares, the same as I still have it today." Horrified by it all, my eyes fill with tears.

"This is terrible. That man was a monster..." Indignant I exclaim.

As much as I insisted on knowing, I wonder why he agreed to reveal something so painful and intimate about himself to me. Meanwhile , I try hard not to cry too much, but to no avail. Tears of compassion flow non-stop. I keep imagining the three-year-old boy crying at the sight of such cruelty. Heavens, what a horror. The hug is very strong and I feel the violent beats in his chest.

"It's okay. It made me a strong man, by the way, I killed the man who did this to her. I did it to him, much worse."

"Don't say that, how can everything be okay? Something like that never goes away, this pain is eternal." I speak softly.

"Do I deserve your compassion?" Ask coldly.

"You're pretty rude most of the time, but..."

"I answer for you, no, I don't deserve it. Enough of that, this is a very strange situation for me, all I want now is to make love to you again." Reveals by kissing my neck. I'm so screwed in the hands of this insatiable man. But who am I kidding? I already feel my body suffer when I feel your touch and want more and more.