27

##I love you

Joe

When Franco interrupted me in the middle of a hunt, I was chasing a man accused of killing three people, he was in a hotel, so I stayed there and waited for his next steps, it was a big fish, I was salivating for it. However, the only thing in the world that can drive me crazy, that can stir all my neurons even though it's so small, is also the only thing that can make me run back.

Franco told me she was sick, overnight she got a bad fever and was having chills all over her body. Fuck, I was terrified when he told me that, I went back like crazy and now I see her, Emilia lying under a blanket covered in sweat and with her body freezing.

It's been a few minutes since I arrived, I sent for the doctor who came without delay, while I watch him examine her, I feel incapable not knowing what to do, in fact, I feel tortured to see her so badly. I'm pretty sure I can handle anything, face any obstacle, but somehow, strangely, I can't stand what's happening to her right now.

Seven days since I brought her with me to Spain, I bought a reserved house and locked her in a room. I can't let her go, I just can't and I don't want to. Emília has to be mine alone, mine alone or I don't know what I'm capable of, sometimes I think I'm going crazy, something I've always been but this is out of my mind, it's getting out of control, I felt something for her that I didn't know since I was a boy, the feeling of suffering.

I suffer like hell every time she says to leave me, so this time I didn't, I decided to honor the name of the bad man I have, I never promised her to be a good man, good for her yes, but that's how I'll only be until when she gives me no other choice.

I want her at all times, but I'm afraid to get close, I know she's going to hate me and reject me, I don't know if I could stand being rejected by her. I can bear anything but the thought of losing her, I can feel rejection from anyone but hers. I'm out of fucking control.

I went back to killing more than ten people a day, my addiction grows more and more, I feel more cruel, more inhumane. And nothing, nothing works, the desire to have blood on my hands doesn't cease for at least one day. But now... Strangely looking at her closely, even with her face pale and weak, I can't think of anything else, whether killing or torturing, but her.

"Mr. Manganiello, the girl will be fine, but she will need care, such as drinking lots of water or natural juices and eating a lot, including taking vitamins. She also won't be able to be alone, she needs someone to measure her pressure and temperature every hour , if the fever doesn't go down, call me again or take her to a hospital." My team doctor explains by packing his equipment in his briefcase.

"And you don't know what caused it? I thought she was fine yesterday." I ask with concern.

"She has spent a lot of time alone, sadness can also cause illness and many times, serious." He says and I swallow hard watching him go.

Sadness... She is sad, because of me. Feeling terribly guilty about her state, I approach the bed when everyone else has left the room. She's silent, I don't know if she can hear me, she doesn't seem to see me, but when I take her icy little hand, she looks at me with a twinkle in her eyes, but it doesn't last long as her face forms into an expression of pain.

"Joe..." He whispers my name.

"I am here." I answer in a firm tone and she closes her eyes.

At that moment I don't control my immense desire to touch her skin, I lift my hands and take them to her face, caress them lightly. My pretty girl, you'll never get rid of me if I had to put you in a box.

She moans softly at my touch and I withdraw my hand immediately as her skin nearly burns me.

She is very hot.

Terrified and with a panic I've never felt before, I leave the room and order them to call the doctor again, this is not normal, this is not normal. Fever can kill and Emília can never die, not with me by her side. I need to fix this, I need her to get better.

The doctor doesn't take long to return, he examines her again and his delay this time makes me impatient. As I pace around with my fists clenched, he takes a sample of his blood, then turns to me.

"Her fever is very high, it's increased since I left here and came back, I've never seen a fever increase so fast. You need to take her to a hospital. She could have a seizure at any moment and that could lead to her death. ." He says and dread settles inside me.

Not death. Conviction!

"Okay. I'll take you right now." I answer. "Franco! Prepare the social car!" I order and he immediately leaves.

"It's ready, boss." She warns and without wasting time I take Emília in my arms and quickly lead her to the car.

Franco in activity already positions himself in the direction of the vehicle and drives to the nearest hospital. On the way I caress Emília's warm face in my lap, like a baby in my arms she snuggles, she seems to be unconscious and it makes me desperate, hell! I've never felt that in my life, fear, dread, I don't know. What the fuck.

"You'll be fine, I promise." The feeling that I might lose her so suddenly makes me crazy, I'm crazy.

As soon as we arrive at the hospital I check in with her, as her condition is serious, several doctors appear with a stretcher while Franco gives her details at the reception.

"Can't come in." one of the doctors says as I walk beside the gurney.

"I can't leave her side." I exclaim trying to contain my fury.

"Sir, sorry but you can't."

"You can't fucking be. I'm going to stay by her side in this shit and no one is going to get me out of here!" Furious growl.

In that moment I'm capable of killing anyone who stops me from spending more than two seconds with her without my eyes watching her. I give them my death glare and they don't say anything else, just let me in.

In the doctor's room, she is examined by several people, tests and more tests and with that it's been two hours, she still has her eyes closed and maybe the ground I'm stepping on is deep from so many times that I go to one side To the other.

Suddenly everything calms down and she opens her eyes, I can see but I still don't approach, I have to let the doctors examine her. Soon two more arrive with several papers on a clipboard and approach me.

"Could you find out what she has?" I ask.

"Yes, we couldn't detect anything in her blood, everything is normal, apart from a slight anemia, the fever was certainly emotional causes because we couldn't find anything, no virus, flu or injury. We've already applied a medicine for fever and also an antipyretic underneath of your arm. You can take her home whenever you want, but any changes again, bring her and we will do new exams." I feel immense relief, a weight off my shoulders.

"OK thanks." I just answer.

I walk slowly to the bed where my bellissima is lying. I look at her and see the brightness of my eyes reflected in hers, I don't know when I discovered this, but I can say with certainty that I am no longer able to live a day without this girl. The thought that I could lose her drove me crazy, I would be capable of anything, anything, to see her well, healthy and by my side. I would give the world and all my money just for her to be alive.

"You worried me so much." I whisper softly hugging her still warm body.

"It took me getting sick for you to remember me..." She lets out in a soft, hurt voice.

"I never forgot about you." I pronounce letting go of your body.

"A week, it was a week without seeing you, alone and abandoned. I just wanted to die..." She says tearfully.

"As long as you're by my side, which will be forever, you won't die. I've already lost the only people I once loved, I don't want to lose you now." I confess and she looks at me fondly.

"So you love me?" He asks and I feel my heart racing as if I'm going to have a heart attack at any moment.

It turns out that my heart of stone burns every time I see this fragile and delicate girl, which I took for myself in the wrong and delicious way. I was perverse and I don't regret it, to have her as mine, I would do it all over again, no exceptions. I've never felt that way about any woman and now I can no longer lie to myself that what I feel for Emília Antonelli is just obsession, yes, maybe it's included in my package of madness for her, but love, passion, lust, desire , possessiveness, obsession.

She's all that to me, she's my weak point, she's now part of me that if she's dismembered away I die. The cause of all this was my pride and my arrogance that always left me blind, I don't know if I can bear to live like this for a long time, not telling her how I feel and wanting to be hated by people.

But she is not people, she is my person. She already knows everything about me, she's even seen a little of what I'm capable of and yet she's not afraid, doesn't despise or hate me.

Swallowing and with sweaty hands, for the first time nervous about something other than anger, I declare:

"Yes, I love you. Fuck, I love you." I confess at once and watch my girl's blue eyes become a river of tears.