30

## Penultimate chapter

Emily

I wake up still a little sleepy, look out through the huge glass wall and see the dark sky. When we got here, it was daytime, I think I overslept, the sex Joe and I had was so intense, the last position he put me in left me with all my organs sore.

I stretch and feel the pain in my muscles and between my legs, I look to the side and feel a twinge of sadness knowing that he still doesn't sleep with me, as he had already said, he always sleeps alone, I don't know if with this marriage now he he'll keep letting me sleep alone at night, even though i've spent my whole life sleeping alone in my room, i miss his body every, every night he's not there.

I get up and pick up his dress shirt that's lying on the floor, put it on and smile, remembering the scenes in movies where women do that, actually I've always wanted to do that too. Even though fitting two of me inside is better than going completely bare, I don't feel as comfortable.

I press the button on the wall and step out onto the porch and watch the ocean at night and it looks dark and the wind is strong and I feel cold. I was always afraid of the sea at night, as opposed to during the day, when I have a certain extreme admiration for it. I hug my own body and without realizing it I let some tears roll.

Looking at this beautiful view, I don't want to leave, if I could I would live here forever. But I shouldn't be enjoying or liking it, I should try to leave, run away from Joe, but I already realized that there is no way I can achieve this, my destiny is already set. AND...

And I cry because I love a murderer, because I can't live without him, because I want him to love me, that he's always with me, that he doesn't leave me alone for even a minute, that right now I miss him, only because I can't see him, that I need him, that he is my heart's vice, just as killing is a vice for him.

I'm his wife, he's my husband, shit, I'm married. With a man without mercy that I'm madly in love with.

"Took a while to wake up." I hear his voice behind me and his arms around my waist.

"Yes, I was pretty tired." I answer trying to disguise my crying voice, but he turns my body towards him and I can't hold it anymore.

"What happened? Why are you crying?" Question with a confused look.

"I don't know..." I answer sincerely, not having the slightest idea why I'm crying.

"Not happy, here, with me?" Question.

"I think that must be why. I'm happy when I shouldn't be." I murmur.

"Don't be silly, we're married now, wherever I go, you go, I'll make you happy, I told you. I don't want you to cry." He swallows hard and has the same reaction every time I cry in front of him.

"I can't control my feelings." I confess starting a crying crisis.

"Emilia, stop crying now." He grabs my arms and rocks me.

"I'm crying because it hurts." I confess I finally understand what I'm feeling.

I love him so much it makes my heart hurt, I don't want him to let go of me, I don't want him to leave me, I'm afraid of a life away from him, and I have serious mental problems because of this, I'm not normal, I'm sick , Joe is sick, our love is sick. And that's why I cry.

"What hurts? Fuck, I'm getting worried." He exclaims with a confused and worried look.

"My love for you." I speak and let out a long, deep sigh as a strange relief courses through me.

"Are you saying you love me?" His gaze shines like it's the best declaration of love he's ever received in his life.

"Yes, I love you, I love you very much and I can't live without you. I beg you to never leave me, don't leave me alone." I ask looking into your eyes that shine in a way I've never seen before.

"I'm not leaving you, ever. You're mine, mine alone and you'll be forever. I love you Emilia, I love you like I've never loved anyone in my fucking life. Let's take our insane sick love forever, for the rest of our lives." I growled and placed myself on the wall taking my lips with lust and desire.

Two weeks later... Two weeks relaxing in the Caribbean was enough to put a different glow on our faces and a smile on our lips, the silliest things made me laugh every time, Joe never left me alone, he always gave me his undivided attention and sucked everything he could out of me.

Joe has won my affection, my love and everything in me, I no longer care what he is or what he does, he is the man I love and that I am predestined for the rest of my days, what makes me all that's left is to use it for a good cause, after all, he doesn't show himself to be who he is when we're together.

I'm finally happy, as I haven't felt in a while, but despite the promise of eternal love, every now and then I caught myself thinking if he ever lost interest in me, but I ignored that and decided to live in the moment.

And all the moments that Joe gave me in those days were wonderful, we went boating, he taught me to surf, he also taught me to dance the waltz in a club downtown, we watched several movies at the cinema, we had dinner and lunch in restaurants exotics of all kinds through the villages of the Caribbean.

Other hours we spent locked in the bedroom making love or on the beach where Joe caught me in the middle of the sand without any shame or fear that anyone would see. I would wake up and sleep in his arms every day, he doesn't sleep alone now.

I know he's trying very hard to please me, very much, even being willing to act like a normal man, as he's been doing these last few days, little does he know that just being by his side is already necessary for me to stay happy.

My husband buys me flowers every day, he wants to give me jewelry and more jewelry, clothes and all the best things in the world. He even forced me to accept a car as a gift, something I don't know if I'll ever use it, since I can't go out alone, but I accepted because he wouldn't let me make any other decision.

Something incredible that also surprised me a lot, was the fact that he gave me a notebook and a cell phone so that I could talk to my brothers and my grandparents in Canada, I called them every day and we spent an hour talking. I still didn't tell them that I got married, I just said that I'm dating someone, Joe even talked to them for a few minutes, showing himself to be a totally normal man, getting their admiration.

The children adapted very well, my grandmother said they already made new friends at school. Although, when asked about our parents, they brushed it off, but I made it clear that one day they would need to know. Grandpa said maybe tell the bigger ones, I agreed with whatever decision they made, they are experienced and I know they will do the best for my brothers, always.

I've also been keeping in touch with Malvina, she always gives me the news about our former group of friends, she told me that Jessica really went to the women's military school, that Rocco goes there anyway, being the usual boy in Manchester, now Roman, decided to travel the world, took his inheritance from his father and gave up the college he was going to do with Malvina.

I miss them, a lot. But I'm right here, next to my man.

Joe

With binoculars, I look for my amata, who comes out of the water wearing a black bikini that emphasizes the tan of her skin and the perfection of her body, she is delightful like that. Emília is special, honest and kind, the only woman who saw me beyond my beauty and money, she is the only woman who knows what I really am and is not afraid. She came into my life of her own accord, I just made it permanent.

I don't care about anything you have to do or that you have to take out of our way, so that she remains mine, she is mine. The feeling of ownership is something I can never let go of.

Something that caught my attention was that in those two weeks I didn't feel my inner demon asking for blood, asking for torture and cursed souls, I didn't feel my addiction to killing, wanting to kill. Something that worries me a lot, because I've always been like this, I don't understand why all of a sudden, it takes a break.

At dinner I'm quiet, I haven't felt like killing in a few days and it's consuming my mind. After eating, I take a bottle of whiskey and go to the balcony, I drank almost the entire bottle, not satisfied and still bothered, I leave the house and walk alone on the beach at night. Maybe I'll look for someone, a victim, to see if my inner monster wakes up.

But I quickly remember that there is someone waiting for me at home, maybe I can leave that for tomorrow. When I return home, I find Emilia asleep on the sofa in the living room, when I go over to take her in my arms, she wakes up and looks at me scared.

"Where were you?" Question.

"You are properly playing your part as a wife." I reply coldly.

"I'm your wife and I want to know where you've been." Speak without hesitation.

"I like your sincerity." I sit beside you.

"You are drunk?" He questions and I simply take his lips in desperation.

"I need you, that's all. I really need you tonight." I keep kissing your lips.

"I'm here, I'm not going anywhere…" She murmurs running her gentle fingers across my face.

This way, I take her body fiercely, as she screams my name in my arms, I delight in the vision of paradise that is her lips curved in loud moans for me. Every moment we have sex, it's like she's desperate for me to take her mercilessly, and that's what I do.

Because my addiction now is her.

END