Fifty-one

—Thomas...

"Benjamin..."

It was me, Lucian and Thomas standing, watching the debate that took place.

"You have ten minutes!" he whispered to me.

- Ten? -question.

"Are you complaining?"

"How do you expect me to say goodbye in ten minutes?"

"Ten, ten minutes and that's it!"

They start walking towards us, making us adjust our postures.

- We need to talk! -my nephew stops in front of me, flooded with questions.

- Now I can not! -bypassing him, going to the Queen. -Come with me! I say, taking her arm.

“Oo what?” Her eyes widen at the King, afraid he'll do something as I pull her out. -Benjamin, are you crazy? -she asked seeing her husband growl.

"Calm down boy, he won't do anything!" -she said to her grandson.

"He'll fill her ears with lies!"

"What are you up to?"

Piter is left alone with the two of them lost in my untimely attitude as I lead the Queen out into the garden.

"This smells like a frame!"

"What are we going to do with him?" he asked his grandfather, ignoring the boy.

- What? - he said irritably.

"We can't touch him, not yet!" - she replied.

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“Benjamin!” -she calls me as I drag her. -Benjamin, stop. Wait!

- We do not have much time! - I stop her in the middle of the garden.

- Like this? -She gets confused. -You can't go pulling me like that in front of everyone, especially when the King is present.

"Fuck the King!"

“You've never been so careless. Why are you acting like this?

"Thomas isn't who you think he is anymore, he—"

— Oops! -she stops me. -First, let's go by parts. What was that freakout in the kitchen, why did that grandfather suddenly show up, and what the fuck is going on with you?

I look at the watch on my wrist and it bothers her.

"Are you late for an appointment?"

“Seven minutes! -I say.

- What?

Distressed, I grab her face with my two hands touching her lips with a calm kiss, but inside she screamed with despair and agony.

She looks at me with those green eyes not caring about the world around us, getting stuck in my sights after the kiss I gave you.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" - I ask a few inches from his mouth.

The universe was standing still for us.

"You've never kissed me like that before..." he commented. - Why does it look like it's a farewell?

— Mila... - I hesitate to speak. -I killed Thomas! - Let the truth out at once.

I see through your eyes a spark of electricity going through your body, which then goes into shock with the information I pass on.

— Mila... - I call her name. -Say something!

"D-you killed him...killed him and turned?"

I imagined an attack of punches, curses and even threats, but she manages to surprise me when she chooses to control her tension by delving deeper into the things she needed to find out.

— No, I only killed him, but Lucian was the one who turned him!

- As? -He asked. -And why, why did you do that, Benjamin?

— That day in the bathroom... — I don't want to have to relive that scene.

I look at the clock again and find myself out of time.

- Look at me! -he requested.

- Four minutes!

"LOOK AT ME, DAMN IT!"

The minute I lift my eyes to hers again, I'm faced with what I feared the most.

"Your tears..."

— WHAT'S GOING ON BENJAMIN, PLEASE TALK TO ME SOON! He pleaded as tears streamed down her face.

"Damn it, I can't. I can't talk to her crying, it drives me crazy!"

“Thomas tried to abuse you when you were unconscious. I couldn't control myself, Mila. It was impossible to stand there and watch him rape you!

"Three minutes!"

“They want me away, away from you. They know we're together and they threatened to hurt you if I didn't leave, po -

- Although? -she interrupts me. -Are you going away, are you going to leave me here?

Torture, or not those questions wrack my heart, especially when the drops that slide down her skin leave her cheeks to find the grass we walked on.

"Cum!"

— Pitero... Piter will protect you!

Everything has changed now. I changed everything between us. She comforts me and I ignore the pressure of truth that is threatening to burn me alive. I want so much to caress her, hug her body, have her in my bed.

Killing that cretin Thomas was the worst shit I've ever done without checking your immortal grandfather's whereabouts first. This is costing me the most precious thing I have.

"Why is this woman so hard to be around and why does it have to be even harder to be away from her?"

My world has been messed up since the day I first saw those eyes.

"I...I promise I'll fix this!"

- Please! -she surprises me by throwing herself into my arms, hugging me with her beautiful and fragile body.

- Hey! - I insist that she look at me. - Mila! I hugged her, pulling her face into mine. -This is not goodbye, okay?

— It's not what it seems... -she said crying.

"Stop crying, please..." I ask, wiping her tears. -I don't like it when you cry!

"Stay, please stay!"

The main door pops off its hinges, making way for Lucian, Thomas, Piter, and Greta.

"The time is over!"

Thomas sees us embracing and it makes him boil inside, with only his grandfather as the brake that prevented him from moving forward.

- I need to go!

That's when she squeezes me tighter.

"God why?"

"Why am I feeling like I'm losing her forever?"

Pain, I'm in pain. My chest is burning.

- No! - she refused in tears. -Whether this is because of the things I've done, my stubbornness, or because I asked you to come out to your wives, I feel -

- What? - I look at her seriously. -It has nothing to do with it. I would never leave you for something like that, in fact I don't even know if there is something that would make me leave you...

"Did I really say that?"

That sentence came out in such a spontaneous and natural way that only there, at that moment, did I find myself facing a feeling that I had tried to hide for a long time.

"Damn. I love her!"

—TIC TOC, BENJAMIN! -she screamed from afar singing the sound of the clock. -END IT SOON!

- NO! -she screams grabbing my shirt, her face covered by her anguished cry.

- Go! -he spoke. -Take it now and bring it to me!

With no way out, the security guard marches towards us, knowing that he had no choice and that it was the right thing to do.

- I come back! - he said pulling her away from my body with his heart torn apart.

"If you are, I will never, ever forgive you!"

"Even I won't forgive myself for this, love..."

— Majesty... — arrived.

I look at my nephew and then he stares at me with a saddened face.

"I know..." he commented, without me having to say anything.

I hand her over to him and, inside, I punish myself some more, watching her collapse in the pain I was causing.

"I'll take care of her!"

"Benjamin..." He said my name. -Per -

- I am really sorry...

I can't hear another word come out of those lips. Anything she says will be like a death sentence for me.

— BENJAMIN! - he yelled watching me leave.

— Mila... -he said taking her in his hands.

— Stop him, please stop him Piter. Don't let him go!

"It'll be better this way, Mila!"

She breaks down with my nephew pulling her arm from his hands, where her knees hit the floor hard, not supporting the tightness her body feels inside.

I hear your screams. I hear your cry. I can hear her torment. The last time I saw this much pain was when she died in my arms begging for death, just for her suffering to come to an end.

But I am also dying.

"Why..."

I hate myself for it. I hate that I woke up that feeling in her, that I allowed her first love to be the same one that destroyed her so quickly.

If I had doubts that I was going to hell one day, now I don't.

"If you joke, not even the devil will want me around!"

I pray that no one knows how crazy and surrendered I am to this woman, because if anyone knows how much, the strength and the way I love her, my world will be lost.

“Your Majesty? - she called, touching the door twice. -Lunch is ready!

Three months passed. Three months a hole opened up inside me. A big, empty hole. Sometimes I have the feeling that I've never had a heart before, that I've never felt it beat inside my chest, because now, now I don't feel anything. It's as if an organ had never existed there in that place, a piece of who I was.

"You won't believe it, but this time Thomas is very different!"

I'm not going to say "good different", because coming from the one who killed me, it's almost impossible to lower the shield. He doesn't yell anymore, he doesn't hit me, he doesn't give orders. He even agreed for me to have a separate room, without my needing to go to the one we slept in together.

"He hasn't touched me since the day Benjamin left me..."

Unlike the King, his grandfather Lucian insists on assuming my husband's old role. He stalks me twenty-four hours. The old man does everything he can to influence Thomas to take a stricter attitude with me, because he thinks his grandson makes me very comfortable. Lucian opines about my clothes, about my food, my hair, even the fact that I don't sleep in the same bed as his grandson, he gets into it.

His first days here were even "digestible", you could swallow it, but today when his presence is heard, or seen from afar, not even the employees can remain in his sights. Everyone runs away.

"If Thomas was boring, Lucian was ten times more!"

I don't like him, I don't even like to get close. I feel like when he's looking at me with those nasty eyes, he's planning something.

"Once while we were all having dinner, his eyes were riveted on me. He didn't even blink!"

I don't know if your grandson has noticed the way he looks at me. Maybe not. Certainly not.

"He is naughty even with the Palace maids!"

After I observed his actions and understood his intentions, I started to spend more time in my room.

In my new room.

I swore that the guest room would be much smaller than what I already had, but when I met him I regretted not having seen him before.

"It's magnificent. Blue and gold. Modern, rich and very spacious."

The only bad thing about all this is that after the first month I could no longer see the distinction between good and bad. Between comfortable and uncomfortable. Between living, or simply existing.

"I'm sure I don't even remember the clear color of the sky anymore..."

The longing. Homesickness started to eat me alive when the first thirty days passed. I could squeeze that pendant and scream his name for as long as I could. In the end he didn't show up.

"He doesn't come to see me, he doesn't call me, he doesn't even send a message for Piter when he goes to get his blood to feed me."

Discovering our connection, the bond we had with each other only made worse what I already knew was inside of me. I didn't love him for being my creator, or for the blood that ran through my veins, I loved him even without that, long before all that.

"I didn't want anything. I don't want anything. I just wanted his lap."

"Your Majesty, please open the door!"

Today it's been sixty days since I've been out in the sunlight, sixty days since I've refused to leave my room while everyone else is up. I only went out when no one was looking, I went out at dawn to see Falkor, to be with him. It wasn't drama, or lack of things to do. It was sadness.

"Does he remember me?"

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