Chapter 10 Wannabe

"Shit. The Solidads' house is really nice!" They said with amusement.

I was restless and I didn't know what to do. This is the first time I brought someone in this mansion. Even though Ate Celest agreed, I still couldn't help but worry that the Solidads might scold me.

I just gave them time to finish their amazement at the Solidads' house before I took them to the office. Who wouldn't be amazed at this house? I can't help but to remember my face when I first came here.

Hug the photo of mom and dad, I was wearing a black lace type of dress.

I was clutching a backpack with a few pieces of clothing and documents that I had only salvaged that night. With full devastation, I'm trailing the path of Mar De Vena without even knowing my destination. My sobs fill the silence that envelops the dark road I am treading today.

"Mom, Dad."

I still sobbed and didn't know what to do. I can't believe that my life would end up like this. It's only been a few days since my father came home from fishing and we are happily waiting for my mother to board.

A few days later we were still happily eating at the table. I can't even think of everything else. I don't know where the pain comes from because it seems to have no end. I no longer have to worry about where I will go and spend the night, only the pain in my chest and crying can only be understood.

Mar De Vena is a place that doesn't demand anything of you or expect you to be someone you're not - where you can just be. For some reasons this lovely place turned out to be a curse. I don't know myself anymore. The trees covering my path and the muddy road have never been so important to me. I'm all alone now and this is the only one with me at these times. That fear that I never felt before lingers. I'm 15. And I'm already orphaned.

"Mom, Dad."

I even called as if it was possible for them to hear me and calm me down from the pain I was feeling right now. With the creeping growl of the heavens, and the lightning that scares me the most. I got on my knees in a mixture of pain and fear. I will never be on heaven's side again. I want everyone to shout and hear my grief, I want every body to know that I'm grieving. That I was all alone in here.

But of course, asking for impossible will just left you hanging in a full blown vexation. There's no point at all, asking to side with something that is against you. You will only be repeatedly struck by the truth that will wake you up. I can feel the amount of drops coming from above.

But even if I wanted to command myself to stand up, I couldn't. I was too damn scared, the hug of mom and dad was my shelter whenever there was thunder and lightning. And now that they're not here and will never ever come back, that's probably the scariest thing for me - to be left alone.

I crampled myself more and more, screamed every second of the continuous thunder. Hoping that it'll all fade away. Feeling dizzy and tired from several nights of not sleeping while attending the funeral of mom and dad. My body swayed in the muddy road. Can't even manage to get up. This is my limit. This is all I've got. Just take me, so I can be happy. Abright lights occupied the formerly dark road. And before I knew it, I passed out and woke up in a high ceiling room, a warm and fluffy blanket was right above me.

"Cy! Is there any more juice?"

I smiled at Leo when I saw that he was almost choking on the bread he was eating.

"All right just a minute." I giggled.

I picked up the pitcher and left them frolicking in the office, as I quietly walked into the kitchen. There, I saw Levi in front of the open fridge holding an empty glass and cleared his throat when he saw my presence.

"D-do you need anything?"

I couldn't help but worry because he definitely wanted something and he had to go down because he had nothing to order because there were no helpers now.

"I'm sorry. You should have just called me if you needed anything."

I snatched the glass from him. I could see he sighed at what I did.

"Juice? Do you need a snack? I'll just take you upstairs."

In a panic, I filled his glass with fresh orange juice that I had mixed earlier. I haven't heard from him anything. But I could feel the sequence of his gaze on my every move. I faced him and looked up a little to see his eyes. I handed the glass to him but he just pulled it back and handed it back to me.

"I needed some water though." He smiled.

I couldn't move from where I was standing, I didn't know what had happened to me. My language seemed to change to understand what he wanted to say. I idiot drank the juice I was holding and gasped for breath after consuming it. I didn't know I was so thirsty. He chuckled seeing me at that moment, I probably look dumb right now. One step and he approached me and wiped the edge of my lip. I tightened my grip on the empty glass now.

"Don't exhaust yourself too much."

He seriously said. I followed his dark eyes and I also noticed the tension in his jaw.

"And don't smile too often."

And he left. Hmm? What does he mean? What does that have to do with my smile?

"Cy! I'll help you."

Jomar's voice ruined the stoning here in the kitchen. After he approached, he took the jug that was now full of juice and I took a few more cookies so that in case they asked, I would never come back.

"If our meet up place is this good, I will always do a project."

One of my groupmates, Oscar, laughed.

"Yeah! Cy! We're always here ah?"

I look around at their teasing that they are always here because they are really amazed at the mansion of the Solidads. Mariel immediately nodded, silently to one side.

"Tss. You worship Cyreese as if this house is hers."

She said and when our eyes met he immediately glared at me. We all fell silent at what he said. My lips trembled as I smiled at them. What he said was true. Why would somebody praise me into something that is not mine? Everything I have now is not mine.

"Yeah, Mariel is right. Let's just do a project."

I never heard anything from them, they just exchanged glances with each other and eventually moved on with the project.

"Fix your work Leo and Oscar! We have to finish this in three days!"

Alicia nagged. In oneg corner me and preoccupied myself with cutting out letters and pasting them on colored paper. Earlier, Alicia scolded Leo and Oscar because they didn't seem to have anything to do with each other.

"Cy. I'll help you there."

"I can handle this Jomar. You'd better just help Mariel with the lettering."

I turned to Mariel who had left me alone. He also turned to Mariel but he didn't seem to understand what I said because he still didn't leave in front of me and even arranged to sit there. I just smiled at him and continued what I was doing.

"Why don't we just hire the Mayor of Mar De Vena?"

Leo complains to Alicia as he applies color to some cut outs.

"And what can we get there? He's hiding a lot of cocaine and getting rich because he's corupt?" Mariel laughed when she said that.

"Mariel is right, we can't make the Mayor of Mar De Vena a person because there is a lot of bad news about his family."

Alicia promised.

"Cy. Do you want to come with us to Lagoona?"

At first I though Jomar was talking to someone but when I saw him looking at me.

"Lagoon?"

"Yes, that's the small lake on the other side of town."

Lake? Only now did I find out that there was a lake here in Mar De Vena, I thought that the boundary of the place where I grew up was only in the vast sea.

"Don't worry. They're with us."

He said next because I was also in awe for a few seconds.

"When is that Jomar?"

I don't intend to go with them but if he answers the day I work at the coffee shop I will have enough reason to reject him.

"On Monday. After we find ourPersona for the project."

Monday? that was the day our group set to find someone to interview. How else can I deny it to him? His hopeful eyes and slight crack of smile were waiting for a desired answer, but something else I wanted to happen.

If I reject him now I don't have enough reason to do that. He might even get mad at me if I do that.

"I'll let the Pope know about the Solidad Jomar first."

That's right, just in case the Solidads refused I would have a reason to reject him. For now that is first. About two hours also passed and the sun was slowly fading. No one noticed either because everyone was busy with the assigned tasks. This Group is not bad afterall.

"Let's go home. Aunt Maleng will scold me again!"

Mariel tells them over and over again. He had been insisting on this before and from time to time he would also shake Jomar to take him because he would be upset with his aunt.

"Just go with with Oscar! They'll also pass by your house. Alicia and I will just finish it."

Jomar replied.

"Let's not wait for Jomar, Mariel! Let's go home and I want to rest."

Leo complains while taking leftover cookies from the saucer. Mariel sighed violently and glared at Jomar, but only a few seconds later it shifted to me. Her eyes widened in annoyance and she stood up and closed her small bag.

"Alicia, I'll go now." he said nothing and loudly came out. I was nervous about his actions and I still wanted to follow him and take him outside but I was aheadLeo and Oscar stood up.

"Cy, we'll go first. Thank you so much for the food you prepared."

I just smiled at them and thanked them. I followed them to the door to deliver. I saw how they call Mariel a couple of times and come back to wave at me. I smiled at them and put both hands behind my back. Am I making friends finally? They're not bad after all.

"And your wannabe friend isn't going home yet?"

I was shocked to see Levi sitting at the table here outside. His legs were on number 4 and he was playing with his phone when I saw him in that position. What is he even doing here? Did I fully assume he was upstairs and working? There are so many insects out here that he might get some more disease.

"U-uhm, we're almost done."

Maybe he was too bothered by the noise of my groupmates earlier so he couldn't work anymore. Maybe that's why he also wants to send Jomar and Alicia home. He looked at me lazily and nodded lazily after that. I wanted to say that he went inside because it was getting dark and the number of mosquitoes was increasing here but Alicia called me out loud.

"Just a moment."

"Thank you very much Cy."

I know Alicia has a curse so it's a big thing that she's grateful to me now. Oli and I took them to the gate to formally say goodbye.

"Don't forget about the Lagoon Cy, okay?"

Jomar sighed. He still hasn't forgotten. Maybe the next day he'll forget that too. I just smiled at him and nodded in agreement. He raised his hand in the air and waited for my palms to meet there. Alicia laughed at what Jomar did and turned away. He invited Jomar to leave because it was really dark for them. I laughed and he just let them go but when we touched our palms and he covered it and I was really surprised by that.

"Maybe it's okay, right?"

He smiled. I don't even know how to act. Mom and Dad touched my hand a few times, even Oli touched it but I had a strange feeling about what Jomar did. As if burned, I withdrew my hand and averted my eyes from him. Alicia called him again after walking a few steps and he finally said goodbye. The cold wind woke up in my mind so I also entered the entrance of the mansion. My mind was a mess but I was still able to think of the clutter inside that I needed to clean up.

"And finally, you're free?"

I don't know if I'm too tired or it's just that I'm not use into this kind of day because so much have happened, until now. I can no longer process what he says. What does he mean? Why would he always talk as if he's speaking some giberish because i can't understand any of it. I stood in front of him like some dumb person, cause who would do that? I feel tired in my system.

"Are you going to do something? I'll just clean up the mess inside, just a moment."

I passed him but in one swift move I felt his hands on mine. I was stunned. His skin was thick and raspy but I felt secure. With his hands wrapping mine, I felt so small. It feels like i can hold unto it until I go further and fade away.

This is the feeling that I can't compare to anything, not to the caress of mom and dad, not to Jomar's cheering me on and not to the fung smiled Oli. Time stopped and it seemed like it was probably the longest minute of my life. I wish this was all true. I can't help but think we are holding hands. His fingers are quite playing with mine. His veins are somehow popping but it just gave more accent to it. A step of two and he's near in front of me. He still doesn't let go of my hands and his eyes are so wide that they almost make you laugh.

My lips parted as I felt his warm hands on my waist. I followed his eyes causing me to look up. He's slightly looking down at me.

"I waited for hours."

His other hand covered my vision due to the removal of the tilted hairs on my face. I almost complained because I didn't want to take my gaze away from his eyes. His palm went straight to my cheek and brushed it softly, I almost turned a blind eye to the heat of his skin that touched me. I feel like my heart is straining to let go of the excessive force of its beating.

"Can we have dinner at least?" He smiled. But his eyes says other wise.