Chapter 23 I promise

Seems like happiness will never be a choice for me anymore, moreover I will always choose misery over temporary happiness owning to the fact that this short period of time will be worth a long term of pain in me.

I seemed to be floating in the air at the speed of events, the great Levi Vidalio told me he likes me. The great Levi Vidalio kissed me. This is way more beyond my imagination.

He is way more beyond my imagination. I can't imagine in those times what will happen next. I haven't thought about how I'm going to deal with him or does that change a thing between us or will we remain the same? Does he mean it or does he not? There were many questions but I did not choose to voice any because of my mixed emotions. I'm not in the right mind to think when this man kissed me in front of the sun set and wide vast ocean. My mind wandered at the same time as I lost my heart in what he did and I felt that this was the end of me.

"Don't think too much please."

Those were his words as we darkly walked down the road to Mar De Vena.

I mean, me myself can't even assume more better things, not even a hint. But full of fear and apprehension that maybe he just said that because that's also what I said, that he's obligated to say it back because I look pitiful? Because what I did to us looks desperate? Or because that's not really true.

When we arrived at the mansion I didn't wait for him to open it for me and I immediately walked to the entrance, I even heard him call my name a few times when I went up the stairs but I didn't seem to hear him look back. Why do I feel like this? For some time after he said those words I feel enthusiastic. But now my heart is cold and full of weary.

Scary to be happy, I feel there is a substitute for it all. I touched the surface of my chest hoping I could calm myself down. I suppressed the ghost of a smile on my lips as I thought about what he said. I don't know if I can even sleep after all this. I couldn't seem to calm all of his lively words in my mind.

I choose to have a warm bath and busy myself into petty things that will catch my attention. I can't think of him because my system can't handle it anymore. Wearing my pair of pajamas, I sat in front of my window and watch the moon's reflection on the ocean. It was almost like a mirror.

The Reflection of the moon are like crystal on the water. The sea and the whole area were calm, the wind was not like the center when it was angry. Here was more like my emotions, they seems to feel what I can feel. They know how peaceful my heart is now but it is just as dark. Is it right to hold unto some temporary emotions? Is it wrong for me to be happy even just now and make the most of every word he said to me?

I chuckled in my mind. Funny how a single person can gave you a thousand of thoughts and make you feel lunatic.

I touched my lips, I can still feel the softness of his lips on mine. His warmth breath that whispered those words insanely. My heart sank with the force of its beating. I was startled a little when I heard a knocking on the door. So confused, I thought it was just the strength of my chest throb.

"Come in."

I answered and stood to greet the door. The door opened, and I stopped when I saw him. My face turned cold it was as if I had run away on my own. Her wet hair was the first thing I saw of her. I met his eyes and I almost wanted to eat the ground when I saw his eyes talking to me. I sighed heavily. I feel and I haven't been breathing before.

"W-why? Do you need something?"

His eyes locked into mine but before he could answer that, he scanned me from head to toe causing me to look at myself as well.

He cleared his throat.

"Let's talk."

My mind stopped at what he said. He left the door a little ajar and took a short walk from us to approach me. My mind went into chaos as I saw him approach me. His manly minty scent was welcoming me. I stopped myself from sniffing because I might look stupid when he saw me. How can we talk if he is this close to me?

"Am I being fast?"

His eyes were almost sweet and pleadingly. My heart leaped with tenderness as he spoke those words. One of his hands touched my elbow while one of his hands hid my wet hair behind my ear. Now that he did that, I always noticed that he often did this to me. Does he prefer me in pony tail? Your clean and airy? I'll take note of that. His eyes trailed my eyes until it dropped to my lips, unintentionally I looked at his lips also, I could not forget the softness of them. It feels like I want to have more but it will be a sin if I do that again. He brushed his thumb into my lower lip and cursed a few.

"I'm sorry about the kiss."

I swallowed the lump on my throat because of the unexplainable sensation. I can smell the mint on his breath and I feel like I'm drunk there. I don't know what to answer to him, should I say I did like it? Or that I want more? No! Silly you Ava.

"That's my first k-kiss." I breathed.

"I know."

I close my eyes almost in a whisper when he says that. His voice was hoarse. Millions of thoughts have left my body. My soul is not with me anymore.

"I'm serious about what I said Ava. I don't do waiting. You're way too young for this. I'm afraid that I can only be a distraction for your dreams."

He seemed to have a hard time saying. I can't help but admire him even more now, what does he mean by that?

"I-is it like Jomar? Who will wait for now?"

He chuckle faintly. The side of his lips rose.

"I'm hurt. Am I in the same level with that kid now?"

I bit my lip trying to hide my smile. Maybe no one can rate his level.

"Stop biting your lip."

He groaned. I looked up at him and ignored what he said.

"Then, what are we now?"

He cocked his head and raised his eye brow with a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"I like you and you said you l-like me ..."

I couldn't continue what I was saying because I was estimating what I was saying and waiting for him to take it back and say it was all just a joke but I didn't hear anything. Only the fact that his hand went to the back of my waist replaced what I was waiting for. I almost celebrated there!

"So, what are we?"

"Uh-huh?"

He shifted on his position and pushed me a little bit more to his body. I then put one hand on his chest while holding one hand on his arm. My face got hot because I just now realized that I still seem to want to say something but he already knows it and not kor just be able to one-voice with him and I'm still winding down.

"What does my baby want then?"

I seemed to stop breathing at his tone. My God, isn't this really a dream?

"N-nothing."

I tried so hard not to look at him in the eyes because for sure he will read my thoughts eventually. I averted my face from him but he just followed my face with my eyes. He sighed and If I'm not mistaken I sensed a bit of frustration and pain in it. Like he's having a hard time dealing with me.

"Let's work things out okay? Let's not rush."

He clenched his jaw and crouched more and reach my forehead and I felt his soft-airy like peck in there. He wrapped his two arms around me and I could feel its tightness on me. I don't have the right to refuse this kind of blessing. Whatever he offers me I will wholeheartedly accept. I hugged him back and that's the moment I knew that I let my guard down. All in all I could give up just to feel it again.

The days have past like mirage. I don't know how it all happened. I ended up taking care of things to finish at school and the coffee shop. My schedule is also looser compared to the weeks of the finals. This past few days are more care-free like. I did have time with my books and sketches. Of course Levi did not leave the picture. Everything was back to normal for both of us. I guess?

He was so busy with his work and he's more stressed than usual. What used to be just a few calls is now doubling down. I always watch him silently as he frustratingly answer the calls and read the papers in his table. That blue print is still on his desk, this is probably the project he is working on.

But still, Levi is Levi in his own ways. He would always check on me and my works and make sure I'm always entertained. Even though I don't need it anymore, I can just see him and my day is over. He would always ask for some snacks but not for him, but for me. He doesn't eat anything but send only a pitcher of water. I can help but to adore him more and more each day, especially when he is serious about his job, he fits perfectly in this line as if he was really born for it. There are times when he also has visitors and talkers regarding work but I prefer to go out even though he prefers me to be there. I know how far I have come.

On one occasion, one of his guests, who was familiar to me, even caught up with me. And he stared at me again as if he was disgusted with me. There was sarcasm in his eyes but I just went out of the office so as not to disturb them. The routine was always like that. It was always a sneak for both of us but it was never bland. Not when I'm with him.

"Can I order a ...."

I sighed in disbelief. I almost rubbed my forehead at this man's look.

"Uhmm, your time?"

I almost rolled my eyes at him. Yesterday was an Ava Cyreese Suarez raw and she ordered, now it's my time.

"We have a long queue sir, so please."

I laid aside so he could leave the queue. He hid himself more in the hoodie and gently looked around and looked at me badly.

"Ava just please! I have something to tell you!"

I almost laughed at his angry tone. I shook my head and called Marie to replace me here. I saw his face turn away became my gesture.

"Hurry up, lots of customers."

I don't know but for some reasons I always find myself so giving when it comes to this man. I don't know if what happened at their hotel had such an impact on me that I felt sorry for him like this. I always think he's just sad so he's messing with me, and I'm not bothered, I'll willingly open my windows for the people who think that I can be a leap of joy in them. Even in small ways I can help. He rolled his eyes and took off the hood of his jacket.

"There's an offer-"

"Again?"

Every time he comes here and every time we meet, it's just his word of mouth. Different offers, different salaries, different types of agency. I can't get it all.

"Yeah-"

"Modeling?"

"God! Let me finish my word!"

He groaned and the people looked at him but because he turned his back the people ignored him. My eyes went YES and I immediately pulled him out of the coffee shop.

"Don't make a fuss there!"

"Then let me finish and listen to me."

I was swallowed up by the coldness of his eyes. It seemed like its eyes were very familiar to me and even the feeling was familiar as well.

"I told you, I don't do modeling. I'm happy with my job and I'm satisfied with it."

I faintly told him.

"T'was offering a scholarship, a monthly allowance and everything you'll need, you still don't want it?"

I stopped at what he said, out of his offer this is probably the most sensible thing he offered me. A scholarship?

"Yes. You want to take Architecture right? You can freely take it up if you accept this contract. You'll be able to leave the Solidad and have your own life without serving any sort of people out there."

I averted my eyes from him and focused on the passing cars. I tried so hard not to show him what I really thought. It was tempting okay? If what he said was true, it was as if I had hit the lottery. Can I get the course I want and I won't have money problems because I have a job and allowance? It's too good to be true. How can I be sure he didn't fabricate it?

"How can I be sure that's true?"

He stopped and I saw a humor in his eyes. He laughed like some crazy man which made me frown at his attitude.

"Finally. You're interested aren't you?"

I clenched my teeth preventing him from leaving here.

"I can call my manager and bring the contract and answer your inquiries until you're satisfied."

He smirked. I lost sight of him for a few more seconds and as time went on I became even more annoyed with his sarcasm.

"Tell me. Why are you doing all this? As if you'll benefit something from me when I accept your offer. Unless you're selling me!"

"Even if you ask my good brother I've never sold anyone,"

I gulped.

"I've made myself clear before Ava, I don't want you to serve anyone."

I was stoned by what he said. He waved his hand and quickly someone opened the door of a large car. His bodyguard was there as well as the woman he was always with. Only now did I realize that he came from Mar De Vena High again because of his uniform and went straight here. I sighed frustratingly. I can't think of anything else. Going home I always feel like this.

The thought of Levi in the office flashed on mind. Is he still busy now? Yesterday we hardly talked about the amount he was doing. I even fell asleep at his desk and he just woke me up again to take me to my room and I can't remember the others. This morning I did not find his shadow in the mansion even his car was gone. I think he left early. What time is he in the office, what time can he sleep? Is he still eating?

"Mother Celia, is Levi home yet- ... S-sir Levi?"

I was nervous at the look Mother Celia bestowed on me. He put the porridge in front of me so I could start eating.

"Ser Lebi left early, less than a day has passed since that."

I just nodded and tried to show that I didn't know anything and I wasn't interested.

"You can eat too."

I looked at him but he still looked at me nervously.

"Your friend Oli came here earlier. He's looking for you."

She caught my attention. Is it Oli? We haven't seen each other for a long time and he doesn't get used to it in the mansion. I am also not able to visit him because I go to the coffee shop.

"What did he say?"

"Nothing and just looking for you."

I repeatedly reminded myself to go to Oli when I had time. He might have something important to tell me.

"Has no one flirted with you yet Hija?"

I could almost swallow the soup I was sipping.

"Lover? Or boyfriend?"

"N-no Mother Celia."

Why would she asked that suddenly? I mean, I did not lie and I'm not tyring to hide anything from her. I didn't hear anything from him and I continued eating. Mother Celia and I talked about other things like the other helpers she was having problems with and things here in the mansion. I finished eating and sat still and talked to Mother Celia. We were in the middle of our topic when we heard the echo of foot steps somewhere in the mansion.

"Manang Celia, is Ava home already?"

My heart crushed so lightly at his words. He was wearing his corporate attire but his coat are in his hands when he take a look at the kitchen. I saw tiredness and worries in his eyes but it subside when he saw me. He nodded and seemed to have gotten the answer he wanted and stepped up and walked up the stairs.

"You're always looking for each other."

Mother Celia uttered. I sneezed and couldn't think of what Mother Celia had said because my mind was left with Levi's tired look. He looks so problematic.

"Mother Celia, just send food to Sir Levi's office."

I stood up and no longer waited for what Mother Celia would say and followed her upstairs. I went straight to my room and cleaned my body to change my sleeping bag, I did all my rituals before going to the office if he was there.

I scanned the room from the outside and when I saw him leaning back in his chair and not yet moving the food in front of him I entered. His eyes are shut and he is still wearing his button down long sleeve. The first three buttons are opened and his coat and tie are on the table. He look so tired leaning on that chair. My heart sunk looking at him. I approached especially in front of the table, his eyes opened bloodshot. There were traces of tiredness in his eyes but they squinted when he saw me.

"You should eat your dinner."

I convinced him while standing in front of his table. He shifted on his seat.

"Come here, please."

He closed his eyes again when he said that. His voice was hoarse. I turned the table and went to her side. He opened his eyes for a moment to take my hand and bring it to his lips. He was planting small kisses into my hands as he closed his eyes. I almost lost my heart in what he did, as if digging into my heart for what he did. There is a wonder in my heart why it is like this today but I don't want to ruin this opportunity.

"If you're tired, I hope you just go straight to your room."

"Cause I know you'll never gonna knock on my door."

I smiled lightly at his thoughts. He knew me so well. Hesitantly, I put my hand on his hair, I stroke it lightly.

"You're so tired. Eat up to get some rest."

"I'm sorry if I'm not able to pick you up in the coffee shop. I thought my flight would take you home."

He sighed and I listened. I don't always expect him to pick me up, there are times when he picks me up at my work. Okay fine. I always look forward to it but I'm okay when he's not able to do it always. He has his priorities and I understand that.

"I went to Manila."

I stopped stroking his hair. This morning? He went and came back? Is that why he is so tired? Since this morning he left and tonight he went home right away?

"I have to attend a meeting."

He opened his eyes and looked up to meet my eyes.

"Why did you come back so soon? Do you have a job to finish now?"

"I'm not saying goodbye to you, I don't want you to think that I'm not coming back again."

My system became more and more distracted by what he said, the tenderness of his voice and what it meant. Does he mean that he came back for me?

"It was sudden and I didn't have a chance to say it to you because you fell asleep last night."

He sighed and stood up. He dressed me in the chair he came from. Our height difference was clear once again. He pulled up another chair and sat there. He brought it closer to me and took my hand again. His rough hands brushing into my skin makes me feel euphoric.

"Eat then. The food will be cold."

One hand arranged the food on the tray and I could see that his gaze shifted there as well. I looked at him again as I fixed it. His eyes speaks a thousand of words. They seemed to want to say it every time he looked at me. But even so, I could think of nothing else but to fall into a deeper trap every time I stared at him.

"I have to leave again tomorrow."

He burst into the silence. I nodded and I didn't know if to agree or to say I understood him. He'll be back soon, won't he? But I don't want him to be tired like this again.

"I'll be back after 2 weeks."

My shoulders dropped and my gaze fell on our hand. 2 weeks? That'll be my birthday. Is he not around?

"2 weeks?" I said hoarsely.

He just nodded quietly. Is it work again? Or he's on a break for 2 weeks? What now if he loses two weeks Ava? You have to understand because he is working. Work is more important than you.

"I'll be back. I promise."

A slight stung passed into my heart. He has caused me too much and this is how I want him not to leave. I want to always see him and always be able to talk to him. And him, being away for2 weeks is a bit of torn in my roses.

"It's okay. You don't have to say goodbye."

I pursued a smile to assure him His eyes looked at me intently as if reading my mind. I smiled more to assure him that I'm okay. He cursed softly and blinked emphatically before returning his reddened eyes to me.

"Are you coming back?"

"Yes. Of course Ava." He said almost having a hard time. "

Then I'm okay."

I smiled. He just stared at me and after a while he reached for his cellphone on the table and handed it to me. I looked at him questioning.

"So we can talk everyday. We'll text and I'll call to check on you."

I looked at the phone and pushed it to him.

"But that's up to you. I'll just buy mine."

If it's just a call and a text, I've accumulated something for that kind of cellphone. Even though his phone isn't as good, that's fine with me.

"Don't hurt my ego Ava. I can buy you a new one but it's late now, so use my phone instead."