Chapter 25 Jealous

My eyes are wide open the whole night. I didn't try to touch the cellphone again, afraid I would be able to answer whoever would call there again. Thousands of thoughts are occupying my mind, even reading a book is not able to put my system to sleep.

I stared at the cellphone in bed as if it could answer all the questions in my mind. Did he lie to me? That woman's voice said they're waiting for him. I don't know where or when but the background noise was giving me a lot of possibilities. Is that what I see on television? Bar? Party? I don't know! Should I tell him? Should I ask him? No! I don't want him to think I'm interfering with his life decisions.

Who am I to interfere with his plans and decisions in life? This is probably his life before I came in, so I can't mess with that. And one more, who am I? The sun is up and I'm still awake. I wondered if I would go to sleep or just get up.

Eventually I decided to just get up and I immediately regretted not sleeping because of the dizziness I felt. I settled myself in the bathroom for almost an hour spacing out and looking at myself in the mirror. The dark circles under my eyes are giving me more regrets. I wish I had just fallen asleep and I haven't answered that yet. This is what you get from being nosy Ava.

I wore my comfortable household clothes after taking a warm bath. The phone beeped a lot of times when I got out from the bathroom but I did not dare to check it. I still feel very heavy and I think everything I can read there is not just sleep that robs me. I preoccupied myself with helping with a few chores downstairs, after I greeted the plants in the yard I headed to the kitchen to help Mom Celia prepare breakfast.

"Are you okay hija?"

She estimated how he looked at me as he put the bacon in the Air fryer.

"Yes? Yes."

I continued slicing the avocados and some other mix in the salad that Ate Celest often eats for breakfast.

"I'll be there and you might even cut your finger."

"No, I can do this-"

He snatched the knife from me and continued slicing. I just leaned my back on the counter and looked at his gentle incision.

"You sick and lame." She looked around once and shook me.

"Just sit down at the table and you don't look really well."

She kept on insisting and asking if I'm okay, which I wanna ask myself also. I completely enjoyed myself and convinced myself that I was okay. I am! And I know I should be. I arranged the other necessities on the table and Mother Celia called the family to another helper.

Ma'am Mira went down first and her husband immediately followed. Ate Celest came down late, still wearing her clothes. At the table, Ate Celest couldn't stop asking what I wanted to happen on my birthday, with the themes and all. I couldn't answer him because I had no idea about it.

"I called our event planner to make sure everything is perfect."

"Yes? There's no need for a big gathering. I'm fine with a little party."

"No, Solidad's are throwing a party and it will surely be a talk in town. So it can't be taken lightly."

I had no other answer for him. Looks like that's exactly what they want to happen and I don'tcan be done there. The dining fell silent and I tried to open up my plans, about the contract but Ma'am Mira stole the moment.

"Will Levi come back here again?"

My throat went dry at Ma'am Mira's question, I didn't know who it was for so I took a sip of my water.

"Uhm, I don't know?"

Ate Celest's question to her mother.

"Well, their company is in rise state these past few weeks, compared when he's not in Manila. I bet it's more convenient that way. He has better hands on." Said Sir Constantine.

I didn't understand the other terms he said regarding the Vidalio company but I think it was about that business.

"Yes, Tita is giving him a hard time."

Ate Celest said before eating a bite. Her mother stared at the air and almost laughed at what her son said.

"Clingy mother." She shook her head.

Hearing these things was like sneaking a bit into his life. Now that I remember it, Levi never talk about his family. I don't know if it's because I didn't ask him that or he just didn't want to say it.

"What about his project here? He'll just leave it?"

"Cali is there, I'm sure he can handle that. He probably can't handle their company there. So it's better if he just passes it on to his brother."

Sir Constantine. Cali? Is that the name on his phone. I messed with the rest of what they said and I just quietly finished my meal. I understand that part, his stay here was not good for their company. And maybe his brother took his place which is this 'Cali' they are talking about.

"And It will be better if he maintain the graph high before his father put the company under his name next year."

My brain was filled with Sir Constantine's predictions. So he was going to take the place of his father and be what? The new CEO of their company? I bit my lip and felt even more distant from Levi. Why didn't I think of all this when he was still here? I thought everything ends at the sheet of papers and line of his phone calls, but who wouldn't know that he's way beyond that? Just me! I can't help but think of everything, from the phone call last night and all the stories here. Could it be that he didn't really choose to tell me because I wasn't really important in his life? What do I expect? I did not take a peak inside his soul but it is way more acceptable if he did say it to me first because I don't want to interfere! Because compared to them I have no role in his life!

"Yeah, but Levi looks so hands on into that project. Looking at the papers and blue prints, and plans in the office ..." Ma'am Mira emphasized what Sir Constantine said.

Her husband just sneezed and ignored what his landlord said. Ma'am Mira was right because even though I didn't know anything about it, Levi spent too much time and time working. I witnessed his frustration and tiresome all through out his stay here.

"And I bet he liked his stay here. It's still different to work if you see such a beautiful environment."

"Of course mom! Levi had a great time here for sure."

Ate Celest crept the shit of me when she looked at me smiling spiting those clear words. Her eyes were similar to the look Lourd gave me when she came here. I sneezed and focused on eating. Is this the effect of waking up and it seems like everything I hear and see makes me nervous? Before the end of the table, Ate Celest did not forget to remind me of the event planner's schedule for the celebration she had planned. I could do nothing but agree.

The whole morning was boring. I locked myself in the bedroom and waited for the rest of my time to end. I got ready early and took a shower for later when Lourd picked me up and left.

After I got ready I lay down on my bed because I had another hour to wait. I looked at the cellphone in my bed side table. It's still upside down how I left it last night. I didn't even dare to look at it, I didn't want to read anything there. I am afraid of what I can find out.

My mind was confused by the information I had learned from him and it was even more confused by how I felt. I awoke to loud knocking on my door. I immediately rolled over on my bed and looked at the time.

It's quarter to 12! I 'm late. I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep. I will make sure I exhaust myself today so that I can sleep soundly tonight. The maid kept talking and knocking outside the door.

"Yes! Coming!"

I quickly grabbed my bag and left the room. I almost fell down the stairs when I saw Lourd talking to Ate Celest. The man turned to me and was immediately followed by Ate Celest's gaze. I continued up the stairs because I had no other choice.

"Cyreese, Lourd and I talked about this contract thing. I didn't know you're into modeling."

"U-uhm .."

I looked at Lourd and there was a playful smile plastered on his face. It's just hard to sew with its mouth.

"I'm still thinking about Ate Celest, and I'll let you know, ma'am Mira."

"Nonono! We don't need approval anymore, if you think that this is the best for you then accept it, it's a good offer Cyreese!"

I looked again at Lourd's playful smile as he stood behind Ate Celest. I forgot that Vidalio also has this one.

"I will study the contract. And I will also let Sir Constantine and Ma'am Mira know well."

Ate Celest keep on throwing praises about the contract Lourd was flexing about. They also talked about something else before we said goodbye.

I prayed this morning that he would not ruin my day because I was not on my own, so when we got outside I was just quiet and said nothing even though I was annoyed with his leadership when I told the Solidads about plan. Before he opened the car's door his phone beeped causing him to stop. I ignored it and turned around to get into the passenger seat.

I saw the frown on his forehead looking at his cellphone before entering the driver's seat. I just folded the window and waited for the farm to work. But his cellphone rang again. Maybe he looked at it first so he still didn't operate the car. I looked up at the clear sky. It's only now that I realize I don't have much time to watch them, when I wasn't busy at the coffee shop it was half of my time. My heart misses this kind of tranquility. The car started and I focused my attention on the front of the car.

"My brother is bombing me questions." with restraint, I show that I wasn't affected by what he said. I was speechless at what he said.

"Why don't you text him yourself. I'm already a driver and a body guard?"

"I forgot the cellphone, please tell me."

I don't know how I'll talk to him, after everything that has sunk in, I can't process things in my mind, everything was just not into their right places and all my emotions and mind are mixed. I'm thankful that he didn't ask any more questions and opened up that conversation.

"I'll bring you again to the capital. My manager will explain things for you."

I nodded quietly and saw him looking at me. I am completely out of myself. All day long my system was like that, even when I discussed the contract with me, I couldn't get it into my mind. As long as I understood that by the time I signed everything would start, I would leave Manila to start it. So much change will happen in my life just in case, I don't know if I'm ready for this kind of change, a complete 360.

But who am I to choose? My cards are at loss and now that they're laying it all on me, will I still refuse? Until I get home, I'm still like that. I stared at the cellphone over the bed side table. I breathed a deep sigh and took all the courage to open it. I saw only Levi's name there. I didn't read his messages here and proceeded with what wanted to happen. I went to the last number I went to last night. Molly. I searched for the name in his contacts and something came out here.

My chest throbbed loudly at the interference made. I need to do this so I can sleep tonight. I opened their conversation and they're messages are casual. His replies are casual but why does my mind get angry. They often talked about the woman coming out and mentioning in the lounge. Is this some kind of night out? Party? Molly: I'm sorry for teasing you earlier.

They know that I like you. I shed tears and read the messages that caught my attention. Molly: You're so amazing last night. My hand shook and the cellphone fell on my bed. I hid my sobs. My chest ached so bad that I have to touch it as if I can ease the pain to it. I don't know that girl. Is that her girlfriend? And why are their conversations like this? And if the number who texted last night was that girl then Levi did lie about last night? He said he's home early and was going to sleep but he's actually going out with that woman? I was even more depressed by the thoughts. My eyes hurt so bad from crying.

My body feel so numb that I can only focus on my hurting chest. The screen of the phone lighted and his name popped out. Everything got into a mess with me and I didn't answer it myself. I wiped away my tears and held my mouth so that no sobs could pass.

"Ava,"

I bit my trembling lips as I heard his voice.

"I missed your texts the whole day. Are you busy?"

The softness of her voice and the tenderness of her voice made me cry even more. How can he be so okay while I'm like this? Right, I'm the only one who wants the two of us. Because I'm too ambitious. And wrongly wrong that he is my wish!

"I-I left the cellphone."

My voice cracked as I tried to sound so casual and okay.

"Are you okay?"

I held my mouth tightly because it was about to exploded sobs that I had earlier suppressed. I wasn't able to answer him, I focused on controlling my sobs because I don't want him to think that there's something wrong. I'm the only one who's wrong here, he didn't do anything to me. I heard him breath.

"Maybe you're tired. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay."

A long silence lingered in the line. I would have turned off the call when he spoke again.

"Wait."

I listened.

"I ... I miss you."

That's all I quickly turned off the call. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing and I sobbed loudly. The more I missed him, the more I repeated everything he had told me. Even his kiss, his hugs, all the time I thought everything was still true. I get it, that's why he said we should buy our time because he had no other intentions but to like me. Just to like me.

Maybe he could like everything and I gave that a different meaning. Maybe she's just because she's my age because she doesn't want to hurt me, so if that woman is her age it's all right for the two of them. But why did he kiss me? Does he kiss every girl he likes? Did he even kiss that Molly? Damn.

I did not sleep. Again. I cannot. Whatever I think I can't imagine without that. My mind is eating me up. I opened his social media account that was left open here and prepared myself to be hurt even more. All I did was to search and get to know about his girlfriend. Good and I know it somehow because I had to do it before for one of my subjects.

I saw on Levi's wall things I didn't know. I didn't see Molly in recent posts so I wasn't satisfied and went to her friend list. Levi will curse me for interfering with this.

"Molly Hampton."

It was the only one that came out of the name I typed. I quickly stalked her account. She looked sophisticated in a storm fitted dress while her perfectly curled hair was flowing into her shoulders. His posture was good which made my chest hurt even more.

I scrolled more and to my surprise, I didn't think I would immediately find what I was looking for. Just like the clothes she wore on her profile, they were the same clothes she wore in the photo she just posted last night. Levi was wearing a casual shirt while the woman's arms hanged around his neck. It smirked and focused on Levi's cheek and almost clung to it. Meanwhile Levi's eyes are locked in the camera with a stiff expression. His gaze almost penetrated me. Tears welled up in my eyes and I closed my sore eyes as I read the caption. We missed him.

All night, like some sort of a machine, I searched for the woman's name everywhere. I did nothing but get to know him better. She's a well known Engineer and her photo and name have been spread in various articles. Her last name is known in this field. It didn't end there because I saw again a photo of him and Levi at what I think was a formal party. They are casually talking in the picture and they are not looking at the picture. It looks like this shot was just stolen.

There isn't any article about that. I buried myself in my bed and became even more exhausted by all I read. She's good, over all she's a great woman. They're Levi's thing, if Levi is fine then I'm fine. They'll be a great couple. Perfect for each other.

"Are you okay? "Ate Celest asked.

It was almost a week of being numb. And I had to act like nothing happened. Everyday Levi would text me and I'll reply to him like nothing is wrong. He'd call me at night and they are always only momentary. I smiled at her.

"Yes."

I think he didn't believe that but he just smiled at me and addressed the event organizer he invited again. We have chosen a theme for the party, we both decided for bohemian/vintage theme. I was going for vintage because that was the only thing I found simplest of all. But the event organizer suggested to add bohemian as an accent so that I don't look matured at the party. But I want a matured one. I want to grow up fast. Maybe I can change his decision. There's no need for us to buy our time because we're both ready. But who am I fooling? I have known the truth and that cannot be changed.

"It's just the simplest."

I answered when I was asked what I wanted to dress. Ate Celest glanced at me and just smiled at the event organizer. Ate Celest mentioned a lot of technical stuff about the dress and other concerns for the party while I silently answer their few questions. The assistants measured me and it was all over with me still not on my own. I would wear different things to the Grad Ball and to the event itself and even if I didn't like that I couldn't do anything. I went up to my room afterwards, I felt like I was exhausted from everything even though I was just sitting in the office.

Levi didn't have any texts, so even though I felt heavy, I still tried to sleep. He's probably busy and having fun with his friends or ... girlfriend. I woke up the next day and saw 2 miscalls of his. I kicked and sent him immediately. Me: I fell asleep last night. Sorry.

"Are you okay?"

None of myself looked at Lourd and thought of Ate Celest's question to me yesterday. Already seen? I smirked at him.

"Sure I am."

I'm fine. I don't think I'm used to this disease? And besides, I expected this coming, when you really hope everything will go down if you don't prepare for it. Yes. I didn't see this one coming. That's okay. It's fine like this. And at least for a short period of time I experienced everything with him, it was all too much. I'll just accept the reality, even if it never happens again. He chuckled at my answer.

"Sure you're not."

He opened the vintage envelope I had given him earlier. He gently opened it because of the wax seal with my Calligraphy initial "AS" on it. His lips twitched while reading the details on the invitation. Of all this I guess this is my most favorite, this vintage themed invitation got my character. But I still wince at the thought that it was too prepared.

"What gift do you want from me?"

The smile that flashed on him was foolish.

"Being okay with your family is okay with me."

His expression hardened and he was stunned there. He started the car's engine.

"Anyways, projects are lining up to you. Are you still not ready to sign the contract?"

"I'm just going to end the vacation. It's hard to leave Mar De Vena."

I looked at the lofty mountain in the distance, it was small in my sight because it seemed like behind the ocean they were lying.

"Just tell me when you're ready."

I was feeling a little sentimental when my eyes hit Oli's figure.

"Oli?" He was wearing a casual clothing and holding an envelope while walking.

"What?"

"Stop it."