Chapter 134

“Mama, don’t cry.” Mari rushed around the table and wrapped her arms around the thin woman, and Kit realized there had probably been several nights when the children hadn’t eaten even with Tem in her service. Clearly, Pim herself was not well-fed. There needed to be some changes made, and they needed to happen sooner rather than later. Kit had no idea how much pay her guardsmen received, but obviously, it wasn’t nearly enough.

Now was not the time to discuss it, not when she could be overheard by the Queen’s Guard. Part of her wanted to rush home and confront the queen, demand those serving in the Princess’s Guard be given a livable wage, enough to support their families. But angering Rona wasn’t likely to accomplish anything. She’d need to think about the best way to handle the situation and keep a cool head.

She also wondered what state the rest of the castle workers’ families must be in. Did those who worked in the kitchen or cleaned the linens make enough to keep their families comfortable? Did women make more than men because the queen thought they were more valuable? What about the Queen’s Guard? Did her soldiers make the same meager amounts as poor Tem? She had so many questions, and for the first time, Kit realized just how naïve she truly was about the state of her own realm, even what lie a few steps outside of her own chamber doors.

“We must go now,” Kit said, rising and trying to hide the ire that was building up inside of her. “Again, I am so truly sorry for your loss, Pim.” Without saying it aloud, she made a vow to help this family—not later, not when she was queen, but right now. Perhaps she couldn’t help the families of all of her guardsmen right away, but she could start with this one.

“Your Majesty, it has been a blessing and an honor to be in your presence,” Pim said, standing and bowing again. As she rose, she caught Kit’s eyes, and quietly whispered two words Kit had never heard before and did not understand. “Le atsa.”

Before Kit had the chance to ask what that meant, Jate’s hand was on her shoulder rushing her to the door. “It was lovely to meet you,” he said to Pim, and Kit suddenly understood that whatever it was Pim had just whispered to her, Jate did not want anyone else to know. Kit reached up and squeezed his hand where it rested on her shoulder, hoping to signal to him that she understood.

Back out in the street, her guardsmen waited with tear streaked faces while the Queen’s Guard snarled, looking disinterested. Kit wanted to know where they lived, if their homes looked similar to Tem’s, or if they were the fancier stone houses that were positioned closer to the castle. Something told her that the queen took better care of those who served her directly, but then, the queen’s guardsmen were known to disappear just as Kit’s were, so perhaps it depended upon how valuable the queen saw each of them.

Kit’s head was spinning as she made her way back through the muck filled streets to the castle. Her thoughts wandered to Eli and Seph. She hoped their journey was safe and that they’d be back soon. The sun was beginning its arch across the far part of the sky, signaling the end of day was coming. Eli would need to be back before it disappeared, or once again, her chances of being with him may be over.

She had a firm grasp on Jate’s hand, which was a comfort, but she couldn’t help but think back to the recent disagreement she’d had with Eli, just before the soldiers in front of her—or some very much like them—had burned his family house to the ground. She could’ve handled herself better. She could’ve been more understanding. There was no reason to scream in the man’s face, particularly when they were about to embark in something they’d both wanted for so long.

Maybe that was why she had reacted so passionately. All of her emotions had been at the surface, so when the feelings of betrayal sprang up within her, they couldn’t be contained. Now, thinking about how she’d shunned him for the few days between that encounter and his dispatching of Merek, Kit prayed to all of the goddesses that she’d have a chance to apologize, and that she’d possibly even have a chance to be with him again. But then, she had the idea that the words wouldn’t exactly come slipping out of her mouth either. Why did it seem easier to be angry at someone than to admit one’s own faults?

“Are you all right, Princess?” Jate’s gentle voice shook her back to the present. They were nearly to the road outside of the castle now. They’d walk down it a few leagues and then take the front steps, where in the past she’d greeted the Representatives and Jecob had been tried, and then go in through the front entrance.

“I’m all right, Jate, thank you. Just stuck in my head.” She glanced up at his hazel eyes and saw understanding there. She had picked a good man to accompany her. Kit hoped he’d be willing to tell her what those words meant, le atsa, but if he was anything like the commander, she’d have to pry it out of him. Regardless, she couldn’t ask him now. There were too many who may overhear and report to the queen, and though Kit didn’t know what the words meant, she understood the sentiment. It was something Rona wouldn’t agree with.

Her mind continued to spin as she stepped onto the harder pounded gravel surface of the road, glad to be out of the mud but still feeling as if her mind was covered in muck and dirt. Kit had the idea she wouldn’t feel clean again until Rona was dethroned.