Chapter 147

Now that Kit was no longer so close to Eli, reality began to rush in and fill in the space. Kit set about correcting her bodice while Eli fixed his trousers and put the used sheath back in the pouch where no one else could find it until he had a chance to discard it. Kit decided it would be a good idea to put some more distance between them, so she moved to the bench across from him, though the area was still tight enough she could reach his hands if she needed to, and she raised the coverings over the windows.

Very little daylight poured in because of the storm. The glass looked contorted through the rivers of rain running down the side of the carriage. She could tell they were approaching the road that would take them back to the castle and expected it to only be another five or ten minutes until they pulled in near the barn. There were some things she needed to say.

“Eli, everything I just said to you was true, you know that.” He didn’t answer only tipped his head to the side and begged her to go on with his eyes, which she did, though she prayed nothing she was about to say would be a surprise to him. “I only think it’s fair for me to elaborate, slightly, on my current situation. I love you. I do. And I can’t imagine my future without you.” He still said nothing, only listened. “I just... I think... there’s a possibility that... you’re not the only one.” Kit took a deep breath, realizing she’d need to continue to explain but glad she’d at least gotten that much out.

“Kit, are you trying to tell me you feel you may also be in love with some of the other Representatives?” His tone was not accusatory at all, as she had feared it might be. She nodded, not quite able to meet his eyes, and he asked, “Have you told them?”

“Not yet,” she answered quickly, glancing at his face a moment before she looked away. “I almost did. Last night. But I didn’t. I wasn’t sure.... I’m fairly sure.”

“Jate?” Eli sounded a little surprised, and Kit had been, too. She’d imagined if she were to fall in love with any of her Representatives this quickly, Cassius would certainly be the first she’d tell. Other than Eli. But then... she knew she loved Cassius. She just hadn’t said anything.

“He’s not the only one, though,” she finally admitted, her thoughts renewing her confidence as she lifted her eyes to meet his at last. “There are... a few.”

Eli nodded, and she realized he didn’t look hurt or angry. “Kit, the whole point of the Choosing is to become close to the Representatives. If you don’t develop feelings for them, how can you ever know who you should be with?”

“But I’m also only allowed to choose one,” she reminded him. “How in the world...?”

“Then don’t.”

It was her turn to gape in surprise. She cocked her head to the side and looked at him for a long moment before she asked, “How can I escape it? The law requires me to choose one man before I can be queen.”

“Kit, you and I both know that your mother will not abdicate the throne so that you may rule as your grandmother did for her. Even if you chose... Pierce tomorrow,” Kit made a face, but Eli continued, “she wouldn’t step away. She’ll rule for as long as she can.”

“Then what are you saying? I should continue this Choosing for the next two decades?”

“No, not at all. I’m saying... if you want the crown sooner than she is willing to give it to you, then, you’ll have to consider other options.” His voice was low despite the fact that only the driver was near the carriage with them and he was fighting through a thunderstorm on the bench outside. She understood the significance of what he was saying and the necessity of keeping his voice down, however. What they were discussing now was treasonous.

Kit would’ve never in a million years considered the possibility of taking the crown by force, not until a few weeks ago when she first began to realize her mother wasn’t quite whom she pretended to be. Kit thought back to the hellish conditions she’d found Tem’s family in, of the squalor and filth she’d seen in the village outside of her own home. The men had told her that the situation was far more dire in some of the provinces. Kit had always known her mother could be cruel and unforgiving; she had no idea she was also a tyrant. Until now.

Eli leaned forward and gestured for her hand, which she gave to him. He held it in both of his, running his thumb over her knuckles for a few moments as he pondered what he would say. Eventually, he began to speak, and she leaned in to listen over the sound of the storm. “Kit, my whole life, I’ve done everything I can to try to protect you, not just from those who would hurt you, like Merek and Jecob, but from information... ideas that could worry you, make you unhappy.” He glanced up into her eyes and took another deep breath before continuing. “I’ve realized now that I can’t do that any longer. You need to know what is happening. If it had been up to me, I would’ve waited to reveal the truth to you, but since Pim disclosed our movement to you, you may as well know... the revolution is real, Kit. It’s happening now in places your mother will not speak of, in ways she may not even understand at this point. It’s time the wool was pulled back from your eyes so you can see why it is the hope of the realm rests in your hands.”

A lump began to form in the back of her throat as her mind went from the frivolities of a contest to the seriousness of the lives of the citizenry, of people that were depending on her in ways she had yet to comprehend. She was beginning to understand, though she was certain there were many layers yet to be revealed. Kit nodded, took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and said, “You’re right—it’s time. I do need to know. I want to know. Everything.”

Eli nodded and squeezed her hand before releasing it and sitting up. “We must be cautious. There are those we cannot trust, those who would destroy everything we’ve built with their carelessness. Kit, it will take time, but we will find a way to right the wrongs inflicted upon the people of Yewforia.” He had a worried look in his eyes, one that didn’t quite match his words, and Kit couldn’t help but stare at him questioningly, waiting for him to continue.

When Eli spoke again, he wouldn’t look directly at her. “She has no clue at this point that you are a threat, Kit, but she knows that I am.” He glanced up at her for a second before looking away again. “I fear it won’t take much for her to....” He didn’t finish, only drew in another breath and then changed horses midstream. “You know there are others you can count on, those she seems not to question at this point. She seems to think that Cassius is completely loyal to her. Jate, too, for that matter.”

“Eli, what are you saying?” She wouldn’t let him skirt the issue so completely. “You think... you think my mother will try to eliminate you once and for all?”

He nodded sharply. “I think she will try to be subtle at first, but Kit, you need to be ready for that.”

“So that I can do what? Let her take your head or lock you up somewhere? Send you to someplace where I’ll never find you?” It wouldn’t be the first time her mother had robbed her of those closes to her. Kit felt anger welling up inside of her. “I won’t let that happen.”

“It will be nearly impossible to prevent.”

“I will do everything in my power to keep that from happening.” She meant every word of it as her lips drew into a tight line and fury began to burn inside of her gut.

“Kit... I’m not worth risking the entire cause over. You must do what is best for everyone, not just what you feel is best for me. Or you.”

His words registered, but she wasn’t quite willing to accept him. There had to be an alternative. “We will think of something.”

Eli leaned his head back against the carriage seat, his lips pressed together as he nodded, but she knew he wasn’t convinced. If her mother was coming for him, the queen had better be ready to face the wrath of the princess in a way she’d never experienced before.