Chapter 77
Kit’s head was moving up and down on its own accord before she even realized she was agreeing. “If you’re not afraid of her, then I would like for you to... stay. To participate. And we can see... what it’s like to be a bit more than friends.” Eli’s lips formed a small smile, and she mirrored the gesture before another thought entered her head, morphing her mouth into a tight line before she continued. “But... you should know... the others—I have begun to form relationships with some of them. I wouldn’t want to just walk away from them now.”
He was shaking his head before she even finished the statement. “Nor would I expect you to. Kit, this is a long process. I know you have feelings for Cassius and some of the others, and I’m glad for it. I told you this afternoon in the library I thought he was a good man. He is. I don’t want to stand in your way. If there’s someone else who is better suited to you, who can make you happier, then I want you to find him.”
“That’s a long way off.” Kit jumped in, stopping him. “I don’t have to decide anything right now.” It was just as much a reminder to herself as it was to him. “I have months, years if I want.”
“Precisely.” He was still smiling, but she knew the idea of this taking years wasn’t appealing to either of them. Still, the idea that she could not choose, not now, not ever, was present in her mind. “All you need worry about now is finding seven. That shouldn’t be too difficult, do you think?”
“Not as difficult as narrowing it down to one,” she replied. She had seven rooms to fill, and only Cassius had been assigned one of them, which left six more. Of the forty-one other men besides the one she’d already chosen, she thought there were ten or twelve that might be suitable for Rooming. The rest, she either hadn’t made a connection with or seemed to be here for the wrong reasons. Yet, her mother wouldn’t let her send any of them home for a bit longer, not until she gave her permission, which was completely against the laws of the realm. Kit had determined to let it be, though, thinking it was one small way to appease the queen of Yewforia without having to go to great lengths in order to do so.
“Then... treat me as you would any of the other Representatives, Princess, and I shall do my best to forget our familiarities.”
A giggle escaped her lips, though she tried to catch it before it filled the night air. “I don’t think that’s possible. I shall treat you as I always have—just with fresh eyes.”
Eli tipped his head in agreement. “You should get back inside.”
“Do you not wish to dance with the princess on the eve of your announcement?” She placed one hand on her hip and stared at him for a moment.
He seemed to ponder the question before he replied, “Of course, I would love to dance with you. I just didn’t want to steal any more time away from the others.”
“You should want to. They’re your competition.”
“I disagree,” he replied. “We aren’t enemies. At this point, you have six of us to choose, and as I said, your happiness is the most important. So... if you want to dance with me, of course, I’d love to have the honor. But if there are others you need more time with, then, by all means, choose one of them instead.”
His sentiments were similar to what Cassius had mentioned only a few days before, and it unburdened Kit’s heart. Knowing that the men were not thinking of each other as competition would make it easier for her to make difficult decisions. Anyone who was thinking of this as a contest had no place here. “I will dance with more of them, but first, I should like to dance with you.”
“Very well, then.” Eli bowed and offered his hand, and she slipped her gloved palm into his. He led her toward the door, but just as he went to open it, a thought crossed her mind, and Kit stopped, pulling him back toward her slightly. “What is it, Princess?”
She took a deep breath, searching for the right words. “It’s just... I thought you should know... I planned to ask Jaterius to my chambers tonight.” He raised his eyebrows, as if he couldn’t quite figure out why she was telling him this, but then nodded. “I think it might be best if you and I take a bit of time before... before we go there together. I wouldn’t want any of the others to think you have an unfair advantage, not more than they already will, that is.”
Eli continued to show his agreement, but she thought she saw a tinge of shadow pass across his face—perhaps disappointment. She couldn’t blame him if that were the case. While he’d mentioned not allowing himself to think about ever being intimate with her since it didn’t seem like it would ever be a possibility once her mother had sent him away right before her three-year-long Exploration began, Kit had thought about him in that way more times than she could count. Now that the possibility was right in front of her, the idea of taking it made her stomach turn over. She wanted him in more ways than she could imagine, but the idea that their friendship would be something else was also a worry, so she decided now was not the time to think on such matters, and if she could use the other men as an excuse to put some distance between them, then she would fully take advantage of that opportunity.
“Princess Katrinetta, this is your Choosing, and you have every right to select whomever you wish for your pleasuring.” Eli’s voice was soft and reassuring. “Now, would you like to accompany me to the dance floor?”
Kit’s breathing evened out, but she was still unsure of her own decision. Nevertheless, she was certain that she wanted to dance with the man she’d been longing to spend her life with for as long as she could remember. Though she’d been in his arms many times, this one would be different. This one would be full of possibilities. “Yes, I’d love to,” she replied, and he led her through the solid wood doors, back into the ballroom not just as a friend but as the something more she’d been longing for as far back as she could remember.
