Chapter 95

“Of course, I remember,” Eli said again. “You were sitting right there, and I was sitting on the step above you.” He moved so that he was in the same place. “I was shocked when you turned to me and asked if I’d ever considered breaking the law.”

He seemed more relaxed now, though every sound outside took his focus away from her momentarily. In that instant, as before when she’d brought him here last, being caught on this property would mean trouble for both of them, particularly him. Her mother had told her many times to stay out of forest ruins of every kind, though she hadn’t specifically named this house. She was certain her mother would be irate to know she’d ducked out on the hunt to bring him here.

“And you told me you’d broken the law lots of times.”

He grinned at her, and Kit smiled back. “I had. The silly ones that made no sense. Like not catching fish in the queen’s river, or never lighting a lamp after midnight. Those laws never made sense to me.”

“But the one I wanted you to break, was that silly?”

“It was silly. It is silly.”

“Why is that?” Kit asked, tipping her head up at him so that she could see him better.

Eli drew in a deep breath. “Because... I’ve always felt that you should have the freedom to choose whomever you want, you know that, Kit. The Choosing, and all of the other complicated phases that go along with it, are all fine and good in practice, but when it comes to you, I’ve never felt like they were necessary. You don’t need all of this fanfare to find the right man for you.”

His words were meant as a compliment, and she knew at once what he was trying to say, that she was capable of finding love without all of these ceremonies and contests. But... at the moment, when her heart was torn in more directions than she could count, she wasn’t so sure she could agree with him. “You helped me tremendously that day.” Her voice was quiet, and he leaned in, either to hear her over the sounds of the forest or because he simply wanted to be closer to her.

“I didn’t do anything, Kit. I only kissed the girl I’d been wanting to kiss for as long as I could remember.” His eyes narrowed slightly, and he continued to come closer to her, stopping with his lips only a hairsbreadth away from hers.

“You gave me courage that day. If you’d refused, or if you’d said you were afraid we’d be found out and get in trouble, I wouldn’t have even kissed a man until my Exploration....”

“I’m not sure you kissed a man then,” he countered, a sly smile on his face. “I was only nineteen myself.”

“Man enough,” she retorted. “After that... I felt much more confident. At least... until the Proem.”

He shook his head slightly, breathing in deeply through his nose. “You were certainly nervous about that as well, but you got through it.”

Kit remembered the days leading up to the ritual. If Eli hadn’t been there to calm her, she had no idea what she would’ve done. And the guard who’d performed the ceremony in lieu of the physician, Mikali, had put her at ease instantly. She reached over and took his hand. “You’ve always made me feel stronger than I actually am.”

“No, Kit, I’ve reminded you that you’re stronger than you think you are.”

His words hit a soft spot in her heart, and without any conscious effort, she found herself leaning forward, closing the gap between them, pressing her lips to his soft, warm mouth. Eli’s hand came around the back of her head and pressed her forward, and Kit slid closer, so that she was between his knees, one hand pressing down on his muscular thigh for balance as the other reached up to intertwine in the back of his hair. Just as he’d done the first time he kissed her, on these steps so many years ago, he gently pressed her to open her mouth, and she did, welcoming the taste of him, losing herself in the feel of his tongue grazing hers, the touch of his fingertips lightly on her arm and then moving to encircle her waist.

It ended too quickly, as it had the first time, and Kit stared into his emerald green eyes, breathless, wanting more, as she had years ago. “We should leave before your mother discovers our absence,” Eli said, also drawing in heavy breaths.

Kit nodded slowly and slid back a bit before pulling herself to her feet. He took both of her hands, and she pulled him to standing. They paused there, toe to toe for a moment, before he leaned down and gently kissed the top of her head. He then moved past her, letting go of one hand, and turning her with him, strolling toward the door.

Stopping, Kit released his hand. “Will you go untie the horses? There’s something in one of the rooms I wanted to look at again quickly. The wallpaper was interesting.” She gestured over her shoulder, as if she would go back down the hallway.

His eyebrows raised dramatically, and she could tell he wanted to protest, not to trust her, but he took a few steps backward, toward the door, without saying anything at all, and the moment he stepped off of the porch, she shot up the stairs as quickly as she could go.

She had to keep her steps light or else he’d hear the telltale sound of boots on stairs. As it was, she knew he’d come right back in after her, that he’d catch her in the act of deceiving him, but if she saw what she needed to see before he caught her, it would be worth it. Otherwise, she’d be forced to argue with him, to insist he let her go so she could see if what she was hoping to find even existed.

The nearer the top of the staircase she grew, the more rickety was each step so that by the time she reached the second to last one, she sounded like thunder rolling through the dilapidated building, and she had no doubt Eli would hear, even if he was all the way across the front yard unhitching the horses, though she had to assume he wasn’t. It was clear why he’d never allowed her to go up here before.

At the top of the staircase, the damage was excessive, particularly compared to the rooms below which only had a bit of smoke damage, save the kitchen. Here, the roof was long gone, and the tops of the walls had caved in and crumbled, the light colored wallpaper black at the top, rivulets of raindrops from hundreds of downpours dragging streaks of color from top to bottom.

She stepped carefully, hanging onto the wall as she went. The floor quaked beneath her, and Kit hesitated for a moment, thinking this was an idiotic idea. She could fall clean through to the first floor, maybe keep going depending upon whether or not the house had a cellar. But having found nothing downstairs, there was one more place she needed to check. Which of the rooms before her was the master bedroom?

It was clear then, once she peered around the corner at the top of the stairs, little of the master remained. Not much more than soot covered walls and the outer scraps of flooring. Except for the fireplace. It was situated so that it connected to the kitchen hearth below, so none of it had toppled over, though it was greatly damaged. The mantel was burned to a crisp, and the stonework beneath it, what appeared to have been a white, polished marble, was so covered in grime she couldn’t even make out what she was looking at.

But there were letters there, just the same, as she had thought there would be. A family name. Even she wasn’t foolish enough to take another step closer so that she could more clearly see. From her position in the doorway, leaning in, it appeared as if the first letter was a C, though it was hard to tell. After that, it could’ve been an O or a U. Maybe a B next....

Firm hands grasped her around the waist, and without a word, Eli picked her up and carried her back down the stairs even more quickly than she had climbed them.