71

A few weeks passed.

Alyssa sat on the cool grass, watching Lewis in wolf form teaching some of the younger pack members how to fight.

"Watch out for each other." His voice resounded her mind. "You can't be so focused on the enemy that you lose track of what's behind you."

Having never spent any time prior to this visit around other werewolves, she was interested to find that although she did understand some of wolf language – a combination of scents, sounds and body language – the majority of the time werewolves simply spoke through mental communication.

Lewis batted one of the young wolves aside, snapping at another's flank and using his weight to push a third to the ground, baring his teeth. The fallen wolf whimpered slightly, more with frustration than pain.

"Alpha, I thought we had to focus all of our attention on the attack, and not stop until the enemy was dead?" The youngest of the three, a male wolf named Teddy, finally spoke up, his tail between his legs. "How are we supposed to do that AND watch our backs?"

"Who told you that?" Lewis seemed shocked. "You are nothing without your pack! Only by working together and looking out for each other will you be at your strongest."

"It was Uncle Ben...mmph" Teddy's voice was muffled as the other two wolves tackled him.

"Sorry Alpha, he's a little dumb." Teddy's sister Lara apologized, grinding her brother's muzzle into the dirt with a paw. "Of course we aren't going to follow what the traitor Nightfang taught us."

"But LARA..."

"SHUT UP and let me get us out of this, idiot!"

Lewis stared at them for a few minutes, and then laughed silently in our heads. "It's okay. I know he was in charge of teaching fighting for years. It's a different strategy, but give my idea a shot before you dismiss it, okay?"

"YES ALPHA!" The three younger wolves shouted in unison.

"..." Alyssa studied Lewis with a thoughtful expression. He was kind enough to the pups, even when they challenged him and brought up his brother's name. He didn't lash out, just calmly guiding them forward. If she didn't know better, she would think the mention of his brother didn't bother him at all.

But she could feel it.

Behind his kind words, there was a deep agony. Fear, hurt, betrayal. He resented that his brother left the pack, that he split the pack with his leaving. He regretted that he had let his brother teach the pups... that he taught the pups to be killers rather than to defend and protect the pack. Feared being compared to his brother at every turn.

But mostly... he blamed himself. Hated that he wasn't a strong enough Alpha to force the pack to stay together. He wished desperately that he could be a better leader... more like his father.

Alyssa rubbed her chest idly, feeling a pain in her heart that wasn't physical but still wishing to ease it. She could sense his self-doubt, his feelings of helplessness, but was unsure what to do with the knowledge.

Over the last few weeks, they had spent a lot of time together. She had come to recognize that he was as kind as he first seemed, very different than what her book research had led her to expect. He was strong... she could see that in every move her made, especially in his wolf form... but he didn't seem to place his importance on that strength.

His mother had described him well. He was strong, careful... and he put his pack first.

The closer they got, the more she learned about him, the more she could feel through their bond. His emotions, his mental state. She couldn't hear his thoughts, not unless he was mentally communicating in wolf form. The information she was getting, however, was almost more than she could bear.

It made her terrified to guess what he could sense about her.

That's how bonding goes. He is our soul mate. We can't hide from him.

"..." Alyssa ignored her wolf, mad that she was telling the truth.

"Are you okay?" Alyssa looked up at Lewis's mental question, startled to see his wolf's face right in front of her own. "Did something upset you?"

"... What would you do if something did?"

"Help you. No matter what." His mental voice was firm... reassuring.

"What if it was you that upset me?" Alyssa was curious how he would answer that.

"... If I did something, please let me know... I don't want to hurt you, even by accident." He paused. "If you don't feel comfortable telling me... then my mom or Bridget would be happy to listen. And of course beat me up for whatever I did..."

SORRY WE UPSET YOU MATE! WOULD YOU LIKE MEAT?! Startled, Alyssa realized she could hear Lewis's wolf directly. He sounded a lot like Lewis, but slightly more... straightforward.

TELL HIM WE LIKE MEAT! Alyssa's wolf shouted with frustration. OR SHIFT SO I CAN TELL HIM MYSELF!

"How can I hear your wolf? I thought that could only happen after mating?"

Lewis shook his head, the motion strange appearing when performed by a wolf. "I'm not sure... I've never been mated before... but I think as our bond deepens we'll hear more. I can't hear your wolf now... if she's speaking..."

I AM SPEAKING! TELL HIM I WANT THE STEAK HE HAS IN THE FREEZER!

"...But if you were in wolf form I might. Their control is a little stronger in that form. One day we might be able to hear each other's wolves even when in human form."

"..."

We like you, Mate! We think you are smart and pretty and smell nice! We spend a lot of time arguing over what would make you like us! Lewis's wolf chimed in.

"Shush..." Lewis tried to interrupt, but the wolf kept talking.

I wanted to bring you meat and expose our genitals to reassure you of our virility, but he insisted that would make you mad.

His wolf is smart. Alyssa's wolf approved. That would have made me happy.

"...Your wolf and my wolf are on the same page. I have no desire to see genitals, though."

"No worries, there's a firm 'no flashing' rule in place. "

Her stomach rumbled. "Wouldn't say no to a steak though!"

Hooray! We'll bring you the tastiest of the steaks!

See, he loves us enough to bring us the best steak! We should mate him now!

Lewis ran behind a tree and shifted, quickly changing into loose fitting shorts and t-shirt.

Alyssa had learned the hard way that the pack had very little sense of modesty. After numbing her brain to the sight of naked people who had transformed back from wolf form multiple times, she had come to somewhat accept it as normal. She was still glad that Lewis tried to not be naked in front of her. Although she was now realizing that this might have more to do with avoiding his wolf's desire to show off genitals then anything else.

"Let's go." He smiled, the expression causing her heart to skip a quick beat, and held out his hand. After a short hesitation, she took it, feeling as always the thrill that came from touching him.

They walked together in silence.

As they neared the house, Lewis spoke up. "You know everyone likes you here."

Alyssa tensed up. "But...?"

"No buts. They just like you." He let out a quiet sigh. "You don't have to try this hard."

"..."

"You look relaxed when you're talking with the pack. You're smiling and joking around... you've even got half of them addicted to those werewolf romance novels... I mean your research..." He chuckled, squeezing her hand with his own. "But I can feel it, Lyss. I can feel how stressed out you are... how hard you're trying to make them like you."

"I..." Alyssa started to talk but then fell silent.

I told you he knows us.

"I'm not judging." He smiled bitterly. "I wish I had met you much earlier. I don't know what your life has been like leading up to now. I just want you to know that people like you for the weird, lovely person you are. You can try to relax a little."

Alyssa thought his words over. "Growing up... being liked... it was safer. Especially if you were the odd kid who had a wolf voice in her head. I learned early how to read people, and act the way they wanted. I've grown out of it some... it does get very tiring. But I don't know if I could completely stop, even if I wanted to."

"That's okay." He grinned. "Just know that I care about you... honestly maybe more than that, although it's just been a few weeks. You never have to try to get on my good side."

"I don't think we ever tried to do that."

We tried to scare him off. And instead he treated us better than anyone else.

He grinned. "Good. Then I guess I got to see a closer side to you than most... even if it was not meant as a compliment."

Alyssa felt scared by this. His care. His acceptance of her. Even worse by the fact she could feel through the bond that it was completely genuine.

"Don't let it worry you too much. Let's just take it a day at a time for now."

She sighed with relief at his words. "Thanks."

"No problem." He thought it over for a moment. "Wait? What about your job at the bookstore? You've been here two weeks without notice... no you still have a job?"

"You don't need to worry about it."

You'll have to tell him eventually.

"If you say so." His expression and mental state were a little sad, but she ignored it.

She would take it one step at a time, just like Lewis suggested.