FRUITLESS SEARCH

“And here, Grace, here is where we met. I was so lost. I had lost all hope. I was in so much distress and agony. And I went into the water. And I went further and further and further, not even thinking, not afraid of drowning. I was actually daring the God of the Sea to reveal himself to me. To send me a ray of what I was supposed to do. How was I supposed to break out of the cage of Ejay?" I say this, remembering all that happened that day. How it all happened.

“And then? What happened? How did you get out? Did the God of the Sea show himself?” Grace asks in weariness.

Of course, she is just as tired as I am. We have scoured all the places that Deep and I visited when we were here those two times. There is no place that we have not gone to, but nothing has borne any fruit. Not even in his house. All that the security guard said was some shit about him leaving the house three days ago, and he hasn’t returned.

So, my sentimental sense directed me here, thinking that he might have come to recap our encounter here and everything there has been between us. I anticipated meeting him here that day, although I hadn’t seen his face. His back was on me when I came here that day. He was drowning his sorrows in the view of the waters. Even then, we shared something in common. We were both stuck in sorrow. We were both hurting and trying to deal with our pain and get past it.

What a beautiful coincidence, because even back then, little did we know that we already had one thing in common. Or, should I say, a common enemy? It was like fate had it that we would somehow meet. And we did, in the most beautiful coincidence, and the connection kicked off so flawlessly. It was, still is, and forever shall be, the sweetest feeling there is under the sun. Oh, how I miss our moments. Ooh, how I miss even just seeing him from afar.

“Hey! I am still waiting. What happened? Did this supposed god of the sea show himself, or did he send a helper?” Grace speaks, snapping me from my deep thoughts. I can recap my story a million times, and I would still get the same sweet and enthralling raptures. I can never get bored of my sweet rollercoaster. It sounds like a fast-paced, core soap opera.

“He did. He revealed himself to me in the form of Deep!” I say.

She opens her mouth, holding her breath. She throws her eyes at the waters before finally finding her voice to air her shock. “You mean, he came out of the waters? I mean, how?"

I smile. That picture will always make me smile. “I was about to drown. He saw me. And he dove through the waters without thinking. And while I was lost, while I let go of all the strength I had to hold on to things at that moment, he appeared in front of me like magic.” I say.

“Noo! So, he saved you even the very first time you two met?” She exclaims.

Funny, right? And sweet? I know. It seems like he was born as my savior because all that he has been doing since then has been to save me and protect me. It is like he was a born savior. My black messiah. “He did," I say with a tinge of pain because now, where is he so that I can tell him how much I love him coming into my life?

I know that shit I had ranted earlier that maybe Deep’s chapter in my life has ended. But no! It hasn’t. It just started, and there is no end to this chapter between him and me. He came to me for a purpose. We met for a destined purpose. Fate aligned us together for a purpose. And that is to love each other, to be together, and to be happy forever and ever. For that reason, Deep, wherever you are, I need to find you.

“Wow! I love your story. I have watched a lot of soap operas before, but nothing can be compared to this. This is the sweetest story I have ever heard. And you know what, Gia? I was losing hope, but now this has renewed that hope. We will find Deep. I am sure we will. If we don’t, then he most definitely will be the one to find us.” She says it with renewed confidence, which gives me hope as well.

“I want to be the one to find him, Grace.” I say. That man has done so much for me. I want him to see my efforts now. And I want them to be worthwhile.

“Listen, Gia. Don’t etch that in your heart. It does not matter at all who finds who. What matters is that you will not lose the chance to make your feelings and your intentions known when you two finally meet.” She says.

I smile at that. And I think that is how it should work. I wouldn’t feel worthless if he happens to be the one who finds me yet again, for an uncountable time. What matters is that I have really tried. I have made an effort. What matters in the end is our meeting again. That is all that will count in the end. “Thank you, sissy. I don’t think I could have done this without you. I feel hopeless, but I know I can’t entertain that feeling. I need to keep going.” I say.

“We will find him. You will see. Don’t worry too much, okay? We will turn this city outside down if we need to.” She says.

“Thank you," I say.

“So, can we get a rest for the day now? You need to think of where else we can look for him. And don’t even think of saying that there is one more place we can visit right now. I know how badly you want to find your prince charming, but not at the expense of your health and sanity.” Grace says.

“Alright.” I say this because I know I cannot change her mind.

I glance once more at this venue, hoping that the next time I will visit with my deep.

“Gia Wilsons!” I was about to turn around already, but that voice from behind me made me spin around at lightning speed. Three cameras are staring at us, and a camera is flashing at us. Okay! I have heard it from these annoying journalists. Did I not just clarify everything in my interview days ago? What is making them run after me like this now? “We just have a few questions for you.” One of them says:.

“What do you want?” I almost bark at them. For some reasons, I am already hating this. Why can’t they allow me some peace of mind, huh? What the fuck is so urgent that they cannot leave me to breathe and look for my deep peace, huh? Wait, I hope they are not here to clarify my relationship with Deep, because I am not responding to such gossip again.

“In the interview you did earlier at Citizen TV, you said that the man who had held you captive, the man who, according to you, had committed so many unforgivable crimes, was arrested by the police. Did you witness his arrest? What prison is he being detained at?” The same man speaks again while the cameraman continues doing his job.

Hang on! About that monster again? Didn’t I clear up everything about that matter and close that bitter chapter? Where the hell is this coming from, huh? Why wasn’t I asked these questions during that interview? Why now, exactly? Wait a minute. “I am sorry, I didn’t get your names.” I state this because these fools were so in a hurry for this ungrounded gossip that they forgot to even introduce themselves. And wait. They also forgot to wear their tags.

“My apologies. We are media personalities from a TV station. My name is Julius, and these are my colleagues: Joel, John, and Jason. Can we proceed now?"

What is with the hurry? Shouldn’t I be the one in a hurry here? And what sort of fucking new professionalism is this? They are in the line of such serious work, asking such serious questions, and yet they have no physical identification documents. No IDs, no tags, no nothing? And what was the name of their TV station again? They did not say, right? Why am I getting a bad feeling about this?

I throw a glance at my sister, and she is trying to assess them with her eyes. She probably shares the same sentiments as mine. I turn to them. “May I see your IDs?” I speak.

“Why? We just said that we are journalists from a TV station. I just told you our names, right?"

This man, why is he the only one speaking? And what nonsense is he ranting about, huh?

“Professionals carry their physical identification documents whenever they are out to work. They give full details of their workplace and their full names, not some half-nonsense sh*t of information. Who the hell are you people?” I ask.

They look at each other with fear written on their faces. Why? They thought I was some adult that they could scare.

In a blink, they are closing their damn cameras and stepping back. “We are sorry. We will look for you some other time.” And just like the weird creatures that they really are, they turn around and leave in something that I can call a haste.

I look at Grace, who seems totally frozen. “What was that?” She implores, still recording the weird guys with her eyes.

I also join her, and from a distance, I see the same man who was talking and speaking on the phone. They are walking away, disappearing in the crowds, and the way they are looking back at us is pretty unnerving. “That is what I would want to find out, Grace," I say.

What really was that?