THE SINCERITY OF ALCOHOL

Then again, he is full of alcohol. I told you that people utter pure nonsense when they are tipsy. I was right. The sober version of this monster would be strangling me to death right this minute, but listen to this drunk self. Wait until he sobers up and ask him to repeat what he said. He won't remember even a single word of it.

"You know, Gia," he says as he sits down on my bed, taking my hand in his. "I feel like killing you every single minute I see you. But a very strong feeling compels me against it. This stupid thing I feel for you is what is keeping you alive. And it's what keeps pulling me to you. It's what drove me mad when you ran away. You," he pulls me to him, making me stand between his legs, holding me by the waist, "were supposed to be mine. All mine. But then you played me for a fool. You used me, took advantage of my feelings for you, and walked out of me the very first chance you got. Why, Gia? After all I did for you, where did you get the guts to repay me with betrayal?"

He looks at me. Is that pain I am seeing in his eyes? He can be such a real drama king. Ejay is feeling hurt because of what? Love? Please laugh at that nonsensical sh*t.

"Why? What did you see in that motherfu?

"EJAY!" Shit! I didn't mean to yell. That might get me into deep shit, and his eyes are denoting that I have actually gotten myself into hot shit.

He stands up slowly, his gaze stern on me, pressing me so hard against him that I have to push my hands between us to create some distance. "You want to defend that bastard? That loser? What is he to you, huh? A sex buddy? A lover? What?" He asks with trembling lips.

Okay, I have to play nice here in order not to get myself into a hot soup. I don't need a beating tonight. "He...is... nothing. Him and I are nothing." That hurts like I am hoping for the vice versa.

My heart is starting to play tricks with me. The way I am missing this man, the way my heart jumps with joy at the mere mention of his name, oh men! Take it slow, my heart. Deep isn't ready yet. Yet? Yes, until he is sure his girlfriend won't return. Would I wish for her return? Double no! But why? Because I am... hopeful? That's my stupid heart speaking.

“You slept with him.” This monster speaks, summoning my attention.

Oh, so what if I did? Isn’t he screwing my real sister? I wish I did that. I wish I had given myself to Deep.

"I am here, right? There is no way he would pass through the mighty Ejay to come take me from here or be with me here, right?" I ask. If he knew what we had in store for him, huh? Not even his vast gates will be able to prevent us or his battalion of guards.

"You are right, because I will crash his body into minced meat and feed it to my dogs before he can get through the gate." Yeah, right. We will see about that very soon, because I am doubly sure Deep will be here during the mission.

"You are drunk." I state this so that he knows I am not taking whatever he is saying seriously. Well, apart from that part about Deep, I am sure if ever they meet face-to-face, one will kill the other if they don't end up killing each other. No! It should be one of them dying, and that should be Ejay. Deep has to remain alive.

"I'm not drunk." He says, But who is he kidding?

"You are, Ejay."

"I am not." He shouts, making me close my eyes. He sits down again. "This is me, Gia. And you," he pulls me to him again, "are the reason I am like this. I'm not supposed to feel like this for you after everything you have done to me, but it's so strong. Do you feel this?" He pulls my hand to his heart, and I rest my hand there, feeling his noisy heartbeats.

"I think you need to take some rest now." I say to him, "Let's see if you will remember any of this tomorrow." I add.

"Remind me to repeat it all to you like a song in the morning, alright?" He says.

"Okay." I say, and since I think the drama is over, I try to free myself from his strong arms, but he doesn't let me go.

"Just one last question," he says.

Oh, God! What now? I hope he won't ask how many times I made love to Deep. "What is it?" I ask, so flat.

"Why do you hate me so much? Every girl I want comes crawling to me without me lifting a finger. Why are you so different? Why didn't you care even to give me a chance?" Oh, really now? He is asking that.

"Will I get hurt if I tell the truth?" I ask, just to be sure.

"No. I am a good boy tonight. And" he pulls a gun from behind where he normally tucks it in his trousers. I was about to start trembling, wondering what he was up to, but all that stopped when he put it in my hand. "If I misbehave, feel free to use that on me."

Oh dear, he really must be so drunk. Or, maybe, he is just acting to see if I have any hidden agendas? Probably? "Alright. I don't like the whole idea of a brothel. I hate your drug business, but I despise what you make the girls here go through. I hate how you treat people in general, like they are just your puppets or objects. Ejay, I hate the fact that you think you have the right to define someone's future." I keep quiet, not because I have finished or because I can write a complete novel of the things I despise about him, but because I might unknowingly say something that I am not supposed to. He keeps his eyes on me for a minute before speaking.

"You know, for the first time, you have told me something out of your heart. Everything else was just a lie. Unfortunately, that's just who I am; that's how I roll, and nothing can change that. Thank you, but this is Ejay Harrison Wells for you. The old version of me, Matthew De’Mario, died a long time ago, and I am so glad it did." He looks away.

I blink a couple of times. What was that? Was he any different before as Matthew De’Mario? Who even was he before he became a Wells? Was he a good person? Who are his family? And why does it seem like he hates that version of him?

"By the way, that is empty." He says this, pointing at the gun in my hand. I feel like laughing. He can never be trusted, can he?

"I wasn't going to use it anyway." I say and hand him the gun, expecting him to stand and leave, but he had other plans. He slaps the gun away and pulls me with him as he lies on the bed with his back, and I land on top of him. Did he forget this is my room? He can't spend the night here. He has my sister waiting so that they can quench their evil desires.

"Ejay, Ejay!" I try to free myself, but he cages me between his legs, and my hands are trapped on his chest.

Shiet! Not this again!

"Don't move, okay?" He roars.

"You need.." He pulls my head on his neck with one hand, and he buries his head on my neck, his breath caressing my skin. "Ejay?" I call, but he doesn't answer. Did he forget I slept with Deep, and he could not bring himself to sleep with me after that?

“Deep?” I hissed out, pulling his face from the nonsense he was doing. We lock eyes. “Why do I feel that there is more to your hatred for him?” I ask.

“Why? Do you care?” He asks, taking longer blinks than usual.

“I am just asking. I just want to know. That is all.” I ask, and unfortunately for me, this sh*t called alcohol is dominating him. He is freaking closing his eyes on me. “Talk to me. Ejay. Why do you hate Deep so much? Where does your rivalry come from?” I implore, hoping that he can hear me.

He peels his eyes in so much labor, and they start closing as soon as they open. “That jerk. He is the reason for my being this way. He is my…my…” I slam my ear to his mouth as his voice fades away, hoping to get what he says next. But I wait, and wait, and wait. The next thing that jerks me up is his annoying snoring. "Ooh, come on! You cannot sleep on me, you." Son of a bitch!