painful to say the least

Vanessa’s pov,

I did not hear from duke for 2 days and I was so angry at myself that I had been lost for words when I last saw him. I could have told him about my plan to take Don Lorenzo down from the inside, but I just stood there like an idiot.

When he finally texted, me saying I should meet him at the gate again, I just dropped everything and ran outside. Duke was already waiting for me, and I sighed relieved when I saw he looked at me with kindness again instead of disgust.

I jumped in his arms and he held me close. I embraced him for a long time before I stood back down and looked into his eyes.

“Duke, you have to listen to me. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you this last time I guess I was in shock. But what I should have told you is that I am working on taking Lorenzo down from the inside. There are good people in the Romano mafia, and I am trying to find a way to shut it down, so the innocent people don’t get punished. But I am so sorry that I took away something you really worked hard for the last few years.”

Duke softly caressed my cheek, “It is okay Vanessa. It doesn’t matter anymore. You see that is just the thing. I have been driven by revenge for the last few years, the Romano family became an obsession for me. Ever since I found out what happened to my sister I have been lost. I don’t know who I am or what I want besides taking down the Romano family. It is not healthy, and I do not want to live like that anymore. I have been thinking for the last 2 days and I realized that I need a fresh start.”

He kissed me and continued, “I also realized that I want to start over with you. I don’t care what happened really. I know that I never felt this way before for anyone. So, I guess I am asking you to come with me, leave everything behind and start over somewhere new. Just you and me.”

Once again, I was at a loss for words because of all scenarios I imagined this was not one I saw coming. Duke smiled at me, “You don’t have to answer me right now I know it’s a lot to take in. Everything is arranged though. I called some old contacts from a place far away from here. There is a house and jobs for us if we want them. All you have to do is come to my house tonight at midnight."

He pressed a kiss on my forehead and stepped back into his car, “I have some last things to prepare but I am hopeful that I will see you tonight.”

I hurried back inside and started throwing clothes into a bag. “What are you doing?” Spirit asked.

“What do you think I am doing?! I love him I cannot let him leave without me. He is my only chance for happiness.”

Spirit growled, “You really going to leave your pack for a human? What about Tomasso, Lianna, Blake, Ron, and the rest? Nothing will change for them if you leave. Don Lorenzo will drive this pack to their doom and all your friends with it. And what about the she-wolves? Their death would have been for nothing.”

I started to panic, “Maybe if I tell him that I am a werewolf. He will understand and love me anyway. He would stay then.”

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but do you really know him that well after a few months? Do you know 100 percent sure he would accept it and keep it a secret? Are you willing to take the risk of putting everyone in danger based on your gut?”

I sank to the floor in despair slowly realizing there was no solution to this. There was no middle way. I would have to choose between my own happiness and my pack.

“It may sound harsh, but I think you need to understand that the road to power can be lonely,” Spirit said.

“I never did it for power and you know that! I don’t want power.”

Spirit calmly replied, “I am afraid it is too late for that. You wanted to rise, and you did but with power comes responsibility. Your choices don’t only affect you anymore.”

I had nothing left to argue with, so I just laid in bed trying to think of solutions. When it was almost midnight, I still had not thought of anything. With a heavy heart, I went outside and transformed into Spirit. I had to go as Spirit because I knew the moment, I would talk to Duke I would jump in his car and not think about the consequences. So, Spirit went to the hill that had a view over Duke his house. She saw Duke coming out at midnight looking around hopefully. The clocktower banged loudly at 12 and Duke waited 5 minutes, 10 minutes even 30 minutes. His face became sadder by the minute and my heart felt like it was about to be ripped from my chest.

Finally, 35 minutes after midnight he got in his car and I howled as loud as I could. I howled about his beautiful curls that I would never put my hands through again. About his green eyes that never would look at me with adoration again. And about his lips that I would never kiss again. I kept howling until his car was out of my sight. Thunder and rain started pouring down on me, but I did not care. All I felt was the pain of a broken heart, so I laid down in the heavy rain and closed my eyes.

Duke his pov,

He really thought she would come but as the minutes crept on, he started to realize she was not coming. Did he imagine she felt the same way about him? Had he been wrong about Vanessa all the time? Apparently in the end power was more important to her than love. He bit his lip until it was bleeding but 35 minutes after midnight, he knew he could not wait any longer. He stepped into the car and smashed the steering wheel screaming, “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Tears welled up in his eyes and he looked outside his window when he heard a wolf howling. He saw a wolf with brown and white fur howling like crazy on the hill. He could swear that the wolf had the same color eyes as Vanessa but that was probably his mind playing tricks on him. He brushed the tears out of his eyes and started his car. He put his gas pedal in as far as he could and held his steering wheel firmly almost like he tried to break it. He drove his truck away from the town as fast as possible. He didn’t look back in his mirror once because he knew he left with the intention never to return.