Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Hug

I am so confused. I want to be hysterical right now. I want to make a scene. What have I done to suffer like this? What have I done to deserve this?

This is too much for me. I want to hurt Mew too. I want to hurt others too. I want to get revenge. But I am always reminded with my promise to myself. I have to be patient.

So instead of being hysterical, what I did was approach Mew and hug him. I hugged him tight and I felt his body stiffen. I cried silently.

I used to be strong. I used to be a fighter. I used to fight for myself. But it seems like I couldn't find it within me anymore. It seems like that old me is gone.

I cried silently on his shoulders. I tried so hard to supress my cries, afraid that he might find out. I didn't want him to know so I let my tears stream down my eyes silently.

But even as I hugged him, I did not feel him hug me back. He did not even bother moving his hands. He just let me hug him which added to the pain I was feeling.

It was like hugging a statue. He had no plans to move at all. I also couldn't see his face so I have no idea what his reaction is.

But one thing is for sure. No sorry and explanation came out of his mouth. And he had no plan to comfort me at all.

It's so painful to think that even if he knows that he might be hurting me, he is just letting me overthink.

What did they do inside the comfort room? Did they talk? Did they kiss? I am starting to get crazy. Did they get back together? Or they never broke up at all?

Am I asking for too much? Hell, I'm not even asking him to say sorry. I just want him to hug me back. It would be more than enough. That's all I ask.

But to my disappointment, what I was asking did not happen.

I don't know how long I could continue doing this. This is only our first day as a married couple but the intensity of the pain I'm feeling is just too much.

Three minutes passed but he just remained silent. All I heard from him was his deep breaths. No hug. No kiss. No explanation. And most of all, no apology.

It was not comforting at all. I really thought that hugging him would somehow make me feel better. But it turned out that it made me feel even worse. It was like I was drowning in sadness and sorrow. The pain is too much.

With a heavy and crushed heart, I broke away from the hug. But before I did it, I first brushed away my tears. I could only wish that it was him brushing them away. But it wouldn't happen.

I feel like my eyes are red so when I broke away from the hug, I made sure to look away from him so he wouldn't notice it. I walked with my head down. I bumped into a man but I did not mind it that much. I heard him say sorry but I just continued walking out of the comfort room.

I went back to our table and ate silently. Swallowing the food was hard especially when you are eating with a heavy heart. I forced myself to swallow each bite. And everytime I chewed the food, I can feel my heart being ripped into pieces.

A minute later, Mew arrived with his sad face. I did not bother thinking what could have been the reason for his sadness. I am also sad, but is he thinking about what is making me sad? No.

He sat in front of me and drank his mango juice until the glass was half empty.

We ate silently, with him taking his phone out once in a while to text someone. We were like strangers who didn't know each other because we weren't talking at all.

I didn't eat much because I lost appetite. I stood up after drinking from my glass of water.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'll just go to the cocktail party by the beach," I lied just to escape the deafening silence between us.

"But it's still early to drink," he objected.

"I won't be drinking til I get drunk. Just some punches."

(A/n: Punch refers to a wide assessment of drinks, both non-alcoholic and alcoholic, generally containing fruit or fruit juice.)

He nodded before going back to his phone. I sighed. For a moment, I thought that he would come with me.

"Can I get a rum punch?" I asked the staff in charge of the drinks.

"Of course, Sir." the girl giggled as she responded and handed me my drink. I saw her pinch the guy beside her.

I heard her say 'He's cute' when she turned her back against me.

At least someone thinks I'm cute.

"Hey cutie. What's with the long face?" Hughie asked. He is now wearing a muscle shirt and board shorts, unlike earlier when he was wearing his uniform.

"Stop calling me cutie," I shrugged. I am not in the mood for jokes right now.

"You're so moody. By the way, I never had the chance to introduce myself. I'm Hugo. But you can call me Hughie, or baby."

I almost spilled the drink I was drinking when I heard him. He laughed at my reaction.

"F*cker!"

"I'm just trying to make you feel better. Why are you sad anyway?"

"None of your business." I raised an eyebrow. I placed my drink on the drinks' table, removed my shirt and dropped it on the sand. I removed my slippers and ran into the sea.

The water was still warm even if it's already afternoon. But the wind was cold and ruthless. The calm waves were comforting though. I wanted to lie on the hammock placed in the middle of the sea but it was occupied.

I swam a little bit further to get away from the people so that I can peacefully appreciate the beauty of the ocean. I know that it's not advisable to swim especially when you just finished eating, but the inviting view of the blue ocean made me want to.

I dived and was immediately mesmerized by the number of fishes I saw. It was a colorful and a lively world below. I even saw some clown fish trying to carry a coconut husk.

I smiled to myself. What I am doing right now makes me look like I'm the clown. An idiot loving a man who loves someone else.

Who would've thought that these fishes could comfort me?

Everytime I feel short of air, I would immediately go back to the surface. But after a few minutes of diving, I felt leg cramps.

"Ahhh!" I cried in pain as I tried to resurface. "Help!" I was starting to drown. I couldn't manage to swim amd keep myself afloat because of the pain I was feeling from my legs.

A few moments later, I started losing air and consciousness. And everything went black.

---

Water came running out of my mouth as I coughed. Before I got my consciousness back, I felt someone's lips pressing on mine.

Mew's face that was so close to me was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. Fear was evident on his face. When he noticed that I regained consciousness, he began to look relieved.

What he did next shocked me.

He hugged me. He hugged me tight, so tight that I almost couldn't breath. I may have not died because of drowning, but I would surely die because of his hug if he doesn't loosen his grip sooner.

"Don't you ever fucking do that to me again!" he said worriedly.