#56 - The yang energy is heavy in the crotch
Not long after Su Lan and Qin Keqing left, Uncle Bird also returned.
Accompanying him was a bald-headed youth wearing tattered monk robes, covered in dirt, but with very delicate features.
“A monk?”
Jun Wuxie was taken aback; an unordained monk.
He had to admire Uncle Bird's ability to exaggerate; he even managed to fool a monk into coming.
After ascending the mountain peak, the bald-headed youth held a begging bowl in one hand and placed the other in front of his chest, appearing completely dazed.
Jun Wuxie saw his complexion rapidly turn from fair to dark in an instant.
“Is this the scenic courtyard that Senior mentioned, boasting beautiful waterfront views?” The bald youth pointed to the woods behind the house and said, “And that's the private garden, a secret realm for nurturing life?”
“Little monk, if you have a mansion in your heart, the whole world is your mansion!” Uncle Bird said with an air of wisdom, “Little monk, no wonder you couldn't make it in Buddhism; it seems you lack the roots of wisdom.”
“Senior,” the little monk turned to look at Uncle Bird, raised the begging bowl in his hand, and proclaimed a Buddhist prayer, saying, “May this humble monk hit you?”
“Of course not, impulsiveness is the devil.” Uncle Bird turned and pointed to the main hall, beginning to introduce the hundred-meter-long corridor, unlocked with a single swipe.
Jun Wuxie leaned close to the little monk's ear and said, “Little brother, let me tell you, Uncle Bird is very easy to talk to and has a super good temper. If you really can't stand it, give him a whack on the head?”
“Really?”
The little monk revealed a tempted expression.
“Of course it's true, would your senior brother lie to you?” Jun Wuxie looked at Uncle Bird, who was facing away from them and vividly describing the one-swipe unlock and how every part was meticulously crafted, and whispered to the little monk, “I was also tricked here by him; I've wanted to hit him for a long time!”
The little monk's eyes darted around, and he whispered, “How about I count to three, and we strike together?”
Jun Wuxie immediately puffed out his chest, nodded to him, and adopted a sneak attack posture.
One…
Two…
Three!
The little monk counted in a transmitted voice. On the count of three, the begging bowl, which looked like it was about to be smashed out, suddenly retracted halfway, and then he looked with a cheap smile at Jun Wuxie, who had already rushed behind Uncle Bird.
As it turned out, Jun Wuxie seemed to have rushed behind Uncle Bird, but in reality, he suddenly turned around and instantly circled behind the little monk, slapping him on the wrist.
The begging bowl flew directly towards the back of Uncle Bird's head.
With a 'clang' sound.
The unsuspecting Uncle Bird staggered, rushing forward several steps, feeling dizzy.
“You!”
When Uncle Bird turned around, his eyes were still spinning. He pointed at the little monk, his body swaying, almost unable to stand.
“Senior, this humble monk didn't do it!”
The little monk's face turned red with anger, and he pointed to Jun Wuxie, who was standing beside him with a stunned expression, saying, “It was him!”
“Good for you, little monk!” Jun Wuxie immediately feigned anger, saying, “Don't you understand the most basic respect for your teacher? You actually sneak attack a senior in the sect, and you don't even have martial ethics! Now you want to shift the blame onto me; how shameless!”
“Come here, today I will teach you well what impulsiveness is the devil!”
Uncle Bird recovered and beckoned to the little monk.
The little monk's face turned green, and he glared fiercely at Jun Wuxie before running away.
Jun Wuxie walked to the front of the main hall and sat down, waiting for Wine Master to treat Yue Yao while watching Uncle Bird chase the little bald head all over the mountain.
Not long after, the little monk returned.
He had two black eyes and two strands of blood hanging from his upper lip.
Seeing Jun Wuxie sitting leisurely in front of the main hall watching him, he became even angrier.
“Little monk, from now on, we are brothers. What's your secular name?”
“This humble monk has no secular name.”
“Dharma name?”
“Emptiness.”
“Emptiness?” Jun Wuxie paused, looking him up and down, and said, “Are you lonely?”
The little monk immediately slammed the begging bowl down in anger.
At this moment, another person came from the foot of the mountain.
Soon, he reached the mountainside, staring dumbfounded at the dilapidated building in front of him, and said, “Excuse me, are the two of you here from the Sect King Academy? Did this poor Taoist come to the wrong place?”
“Welcome to the Sect King Academy.”
Jun Wuxie's words shattered the little Taoist's illusions.
The little Taoist immediately became anxious, with a look of utter despair.
“Ahem, now that everyone is here.” Uncle Bird walked over and said, “Let me introduce you.”
“This is Jun Wuxie, a dual cultivator of body and sword. He is the chief disciple of my Sect King Academy, your senior brother, from Qingyang City of the Great Zhou Dynasty. As a body cultivator, his sword intent has reached the realm of grandmaster.”
“Body cultivator? Sword Dao Grandmaster?”
Both the little monk and the little Taoist were shocked.
Then Uncle Bird pointed to the little monk and said, “Dharma name is Emptiness, which is also his current secular name. He is the second direct disciple of my Sect King Academy, from the distant Western Regions, possessing the Vajra Bloodline of Zen, which, in simple terms, is the Vajra Body bloodline of Buddhism, specializing in strength and defense.”
Jun Wuxie was taken aback and had to re-examine the little bald head. Looking at his delicate and handsome appearance, he was actually a Vajra Body?
You really can't judge a book by its cover.
“This little Taoist is Xu Daoling, with natural Yin-Yang Eyes, a Wind Spirit Body, specializing in tomb searching and speed, from the distant Northern Regions.”
Jun Wuxie's expression was a little strange. Specializing in tomb searching?
Isn't that tomb raiding?
……
He was a little speechless. What kind of people did Uncle Bird find?
However, the bloodlines of these two guys are not simple.
Many sects should be fighting over such talents. How could they be tricked into coming to Sect King Academy?
“Let's leave it at that for today. Tomorrow morning, go to the back mountain. Based on your different characteristics, I have formulated different cultivation methods.”
After Uncle Bird finished speaking, his gaze swept over the three of them and said, “By the way, who among you can cook?”
“Senior, this humble monk… no… disciple can beg for alms.”
Emptiness hefted the begging bowl in his hand.
“This poor Taoist can… dig graves!”
The little Taoist said confidently.
“You're all a bunch of freeloaders!”
Jun Wuxie's mouth twitched a few times. As the senior brother, he even had to be a nanny for them?
He got up and walked to the dilapidated kitchen, fiddling around for a while. The pots and pans were all rusted. How long had it been since anyone cooked?
He looked at the rice jar and was immediately speechless.
There were a few grains of rice inside, as well as a few rat droppings. How could he cook anything!
“Uncle Bird, there's no rice left, didn't you know?”
Jun Wuxie threw the pot and pan down, refusing to do it.
“Ahem, the sect has been a little tight on funds recently. You guys figure out how to get the rice yourselves.”
Jun Wuxie: … …
He really didn't want to speak anymore.
Sect King Academy was so poor that it couldn't even afford rice…
He wandered around the mountain, intending to hunt some game, but he didn't even see a shadow of any wild animals.
Only after asking did he find out that the wild game here had all been hunted by Uncle Bird and Wine Master to be served as appetizers with their wine.
Really.
He felt that this place was truly barren.
“What sins did I commit in my past life to get on this pirate ship?”
He walked to the little Taoist and the little monk Emptiness and said, “We are now all people of the Sect King Academy. This sect is so broken, it doesn't block the sun on sunny days, and it leaks on rainy days. The pots and pans are rusted, and there's no rice in the jar. Why don't each of you contribute some money so we can repair this place and add some daily necessities, firewood, rice, oil, and salt?”
“Senior Brother's words are reasonable. This humble monk is a monk and sees money as dirt.”
As he spoke, the little monk very generously rummaged through his torn monk's robe for a long time, finally turning his sleeve pockets inside out, and three copper coins fell out with a clatter.
“Beautiful!”
Jun Wuxie gritted his teeth in anger. This guy only had three copper coins on him, yet he was pretending to be generous, saying that he saw money as dirt!
“Tomb raider, you should have some, right?”
He turned his gaze to the little Taoist Xu Daoling.
The little Taoist gave him an awkward but polite smile, fiddled around for a while, and pulled out a string of copper coins from his crotch after a long search.
“I…” Jun Wuxie refused to accept the string of coppers permeated with a fishy smell, despising him, “Tomb raider, do you have to be like this? You hide a string of copper coins in your crotch?”
“Senior Brother, these are not ordinary copper coins; these are for warding off evil spirits. The yang energy in the crotch is strong, so it's good to fumigate them.”
Jun Wuxie: … …
What kind of weirdos were these two?
He thought that since these two guys had such extraordinary bloodlines, and unlike him, who had to treat his sister's illness and whose cultivation also consumed a lot, they should have a lot of savings.
As a result… they were even poorer than him!
