Chapter 19

Amelie

The day has finally arrived—my own personal doomsday. Today I will go into the mountains at night and complete the ritual. I feel like I just want to run away but, there is nowhere to run to. Tate's Mate Mark is on me; I cannot run out of my skin.

"We are going to be OK. We will get through this. I'll still be here." Inari is acting brave, but I can feel she is just as scared as I am. I was sealing my wolf sprite. She was a part of me attached to my soul. She did not deserve this.

"Hey, how about we spend the afternoon shifted and in the woods? Dad's guards will have to deal." I can feel Inari perk up a bit. This would be the last time she gets to run free.

"That would be nice, thanks." Her voice is so soft I could barely hear her.

I mind link dad, "It's our last chance to shift. So, your guards will have to keep up."

"I understand, kiddo; I'll tell them to give you space." He ends our link.

I walk out to the tree line and hide behind a tree to undress. We shift; we have been shifting more since being back home, so it's much faster now. Inari's deep brown fur glistens in the sun and looks almost bronze. We head off this time, no destination in sight, just enjoying our last run. Taking everything in the wind through our fur as we run, the rocky ground beneath our paws, the smell of the clean mountain air, the sounds of all the mountain critters scurrying about it's comforting. It is mid-September, and the air is cool and brisk. It feels amazing. It almost made us forget our pending demise was looming.

Sealed was a broad term. It could mean we could never shift but still have heightened senses. It could also mean that even Inari is permanently weakened, like how she was with wolfsbane and silver cuff. We just didn't know; that was making this whole ordeal worse. We slow down, just taking in the surroundings. A cool breeze kicks up and rushes past. Out of pure frustration, we let out a long, loud howl straight to the sky. It was our cry, our plea to the goddess to spare us even just a little. The sun is starting to set, and the early evening light changes to deep yellows and orange. We start heading back to the Packhouse. We must prepare for tonight's ritual.

I step into the backdoor of the Packhouse, and Dad is leaned up agist a counter. "How are you doing, kiddo?" I can hear him trying to hide the fear in his voice.

I give him a slight smile and reach in for a hug, and I can't hold back my tears. I'm terrified! I know this has to be done no matter what. He just holds me as tight as he can without saying a word, giving me a moment to be a scared, weak little girl in her dad's arms. He leans down and kisses me on the top of my head. "You can do this. You are going to be OK. I'll be here waiting for you when you get back. You are not alone, and I'll be here." I look up and nod my head. I release my grip from around my father's waist. I don't say a word. I know if I try to talk, my tears will start to flow again. I turn and head to my room.

I pack a bag to prepare for the ritual; I include in the book the wooden box, a jacket, and some candles; they felt more appropriate than a lantern. It's not too long of a walk from the Packhouse to the cave I'll be using tonight. I head down to the kitchen, and dad is making dinner. I sit on a stool at the counter and just watch. I'm in a hazy; the minutes till I head out are quickly ticking away. Dad sets a bowl of bow tie pasta with sundried tomato cream sauce in front of me. "Thanks, I guess I'll need my strength." I dig in, not even noticing the flavor. Once I am done, I just sit there staring at the clock, not saying a word.

The clock reaches 10:30 PM. I stand up from my stool, look over at dad, "I guess it's time for me to head out." He nods. I can tell he is holding back staying strong for my sake. I step outside the back door, and two guards are waiting at the foot of the stairs. I know they are doing their jobs, but I just want them to go away. I walk past them and continue to the tree line. I toss my bag strap over my shoulder and continue to the cave. It feels more like I'm marching to my execution than doing a ritual. I get to about 30 yards of the mouth of the cave and turn to the guards. "Please find a comfortable post. If I haven't come out by 1:00 AM, come and get me." They nod and watch as I finish my march into the dark cave.

I step into the cave. I had already scouted it the week prior and came to check on it a few times. I pulled the candles out and placed them around me, lighting each one. Next, I took out the wooden box and the book. I opened the book, the page I needed skimming over again to make sure I didn't miss anything. I undress, fold my clothes neatly, and place them in my bag for safekeeping.

I pull out the bowl and the steel knife. I cut my left palm, letting the blood drip into the dogwood bowl. I look at my watch, which I have placed beside me on the ground. It's now 11:55 PM. Time to start; I take a deep breath.

"Selene moon goddess. I offer you my blood and ask for your blessings to protect my heart and bless me whit a new beginning as I am reborn under your new moon." I pick up the silver dagger from the box and dip it in the bowl of blood. "Bless me in this new life, goddess Selene." I take the dagger dripping with my blood and drag it in an X across my Mate Mark. Both Inari and I scream for the searing pain. "Inari, are you OK?" I ask in a panic.

"Don't stop. Keep going." I can hear the desperation in her voice. I must finish it.

I dip the knife in the bowl of blood again and recite the last words of the ritual "I, Amelie Ashwood, Reject you, Tate Cozad, as my mate. I REJECT YOU!" I drag the blade in a cross pattern across my mark. We both scream again in agonizing pain. "I did it. I'm free." Then pass out.

Gideon

I am jolted out of bed. I grab my chest; it's throbbing. It's the girls, I don't know what's wrong, but they are in pain. I rush across the hall; I bust down the girl's bedroom door. "Daisy, Rose, where are you? What's wrong." I am in a complete panic. I have never felt this kind of pain and sadness from them. They each had a bed, but they always slept together in one or the other. I hear them crying, and I see them huddled together on Rose's bed. As soon as my eyes are on them, I calm down a bit. I sit down on the edge of the bed and place the girls on my lap. "Girls, what is wrong? Why are you crying? Your scaring daddy?"

To my surprise, Rose speaks up first, "Daddy, why did new mommy have to get hurt?" I'm baffled. They have been bringing up this "New Mommy" for a while now.

"Rose, baby, who got hurt? Daddy can help. That's what daddy does is help people remember." I pull her close and lift her up and kiss her head, trying to stop the tears. She lays her little head on my shoulder and slowly stops crying. Daisy is still sobbing and has no intention of stopping. "Daisy, come on, tell daddy how he can help. I promise I'll make it better."

"Daddy, new mommy's puppy got hurt. New mommy was hurt bad. There was lots of blood right here." She points to where my faded Mate Mark is. It must have been a nightmare. I'll have to talk to Jorden and Shay to see if they watched something scary on TV. "Daddy, new mommy almost left us like old mommy." I can tell whatever nightmare they had, they seem to have experienced it together, and it was more than they could explain.

"Do you girls want to sleep in daddy's room tonight?" They both look up at me and nod their tired little heads. "OK, do you want to take Miss Whiskers and Mr. Hops?" They both nod again, rubbing their eyes. "OK, let's bring them along. It's late; it's time to sleep." Rose grabs her stuffed bunny toy, and Daisy gets her stuffed kitty, and I carry them back to my room. They snuggle together with Rose's back to me. I cover them up, and they start to drift back to sleep.

"Daddy," Rose turns to me.

"What, baby? It's time to sleep." I rub her back, trying to calm her little mind.

"You have to be nice to new mommy. OK? Promise you will be nice and not scawee." I chuckle a little.

"I promise. Now go to sleep."