“BLUSHING AS ALWAYS”

I chose to ignore Marius’s question, focusing instead on gathering my scattered clothes strewn across the floor. Each piece was picked up meticulously, one by one, and donned with a sense of urgency.

“Why the rush? We haven’t even had breakfast yet,” Marius inquired, his movements mirroring mine as he too began dressing.

“No time for that. I need to get home and see our child,” I replied tersely, the weight of my words hanging in the air.

My bag slung over my shoulder, I made a move to leave, the tension between us palpable yet unspoken. Marius, finishing his last piece of clothing, offered to accompany me.

“I’ll take you. Just give me a moment,” he said, a hint of concern in his voice.

Silence enveloped us as we stepped into the elevator. It was only then that Marius spoke again, breaking the quiet with a question that made me turn and meet his gaze, his eyes only reaching up to my shoulder level.

“Are you annoying me?” I asked, irritation evident in my tone as I switched to English.

Marius raised an eyebrow, clearly sensing the shift in my mood. I didn’t want to admit that I was still flushed from the earlier embarrassment, caused by a memory that had led me to leave my clothes scattered in the living room. It was a vulnerable moment I wasn’t ready to share.

His nonchalant shrug only added to my annoyance. It felt like he couldn’t grasp the depth of my feelings, or maybe he was choosing not to acknowledge them. Either way, I decided it wasn’t worth delving into further at that moment. I feared that any more discussion would lead to dredging up old wounds and unresolved issues between us.

We arrived at Andrew’s house, where Calum and MJ were also present. I requested Marius to drop me off there, partly to avoid further conversation in the car and partly because I needed some time away from him to sort out my thoughts.

Calum, ever perceptive, caught the tension between Marius and me as soon as we entered. His teasing tone and knowing look didn’t escape my notice, and I braced myself for his inevitable probing.

“So, spill,” Calum prodded as soon as we were alone, his tone a mix of playful curiosity and genuine concern. “What happened? Is it what I expected and thought, which is why you didn’t come home last night?”

I sighed inwardly, knowing that Calum wouldn’t let the matter rest until he got some answers. But how could I explain the complexities of my feelings, especially when I was still grappling with them myself?

We found ourselves in the warm embrace of the kitchen, a space filled with the comforting scent of freshly brewed coffee and the soft morning light filtering through the windows. I took on the task of brewing a cup of coffee for Marius, who had stayed back by the poolside with Andrew, Lana, and Andrea, while he held MJ in his care.

Returning to the kitchen, I was met with Calum’s probing question, which sent a subtle wave of discomfort through me. His gaze, filled with curiosity and concern, seemed to search for answers that I wasn’t quite ready to provide.

Feeling a flush of embarrassment creeping up my cheeks, I masked my unease with a composed demeanor, focusing intently on the task of preparing Marius’s coffee. I avoided meeting Calum’s eyes directly, hoping to conceal the inner turmoil his question had stirred within me.

“I believe this isn’t the right time or place for that discussion, Calum,” I replied, my tone reflecting a hint of reluctance as I tried to steer the conversation away from the sensitive topic.

Calum’s expression shifted to one of incredulity, his eyes betraying a mix of surprise and concern. Despite my attempts to deflect the conversation, his persistent probing indicated that he sensed there was more to the situation, prompting a subtle tension to linger in the air, waiting to be addressed.

As I deftly finished preparing Marius’s coffee, I retrieved the cup and took the lead, stepping out of the kitchen with purpose. Calum trailed along, his presence adding an intriguing dynamic to the air.

“Alright. But can you please fix yourself first?” Calum’s voice interrupted my thoughts, laced with a mix of teasing and genuine concern.

I halted my steps, turning to face him with a raised eyebrow. “What do you mean by ‘fix yourself’?”

Calum chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “I mean, look at yourself. Your face is turning red again. It wouldn’t surprise me if one day you came to me in tears because of your emotional turmoil.”

A playful smirk tugged at the corner of my lips, masking the underlying unease that Calum’s words had stirred within me. “Oh, don’t worry about me. I can handle myself just fine,” I replied with a casual shrug, trying to brush off his observation.

Calum shook his head in mock disbelief, his tone light but sincere. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I’m here for you, always.”

I offered him a grateful smile, appreciating the unspoken support in his words. “Thanks, Calum. I’ll keep that in mind.”

I stood there, caught in a moment of silence as my friend’s words hung in the air, their truth cutting through me like a knife. It was a truth I couldn’t deny, a truth that highlighted my fragility, my vulnerability, especially when it came to Marius—my undeniable weakness.

“Come,” I finally managed to say, my voice barely above a whisper, a feeble attempt to steer the conversation away, to bring an end to the uncomfortable revelations.

With hesitant steps, I made my way towards where they were gathered. And there, amidst the soft glow of ambient light, I saw him—Marius, his features adorned with a captivating smile that seemed to light up the entire room. It was a smile that had always held a certain power over me, a power that left me feeling both elated and apprehensive.

But as I drew closer, a subtle shift occurred within me. Calum’s words, spoken with a hint of concern earlier, echoed in my mind, urging me to confront the turmoil that resided within my own heart. It was a gentle nudge, a reminder of the inner strength I needed to find, the strength to navigate the complexities of my emotions, especially those entangled with Marius.

I placed Marius’s coffee on the table before him, a small gesture that spoke volumes of the unspoken connection between us. Retrieving MJ from his grasp, our fingers brushed in a fleeting touch that sent a subtle wave of electricity through me, a sensation I couldn’t ignore.

“We’ll give you two some space,” Andrew announced, his smile warm and understanding as he glanced at Lana, who returned the look with a nod, silently acknowledging the unspoken understanding between us all.

Lana, with a meaningful glance exchanged with Andrew, gently took Andrea’s hand, guiding her inside. Their departure left a quiet moment between Marius and me, filled with unspoken words and lingering emotions.

“I’ll go ahead and gather our belongings,” Calum’s deep voice broke the silence, his words carrying a sense of responsibility and masculinity. He moved with purpose, a silent strength evident in his actions as he prepared to load our things into the car, leaving Marius and me to our private moment.

I gave Calum a brief nod, silently acknowledging his presence, before turning my attention to Marius. As I looked at him, I couldn’t help but notice the subtle shift in his expression—a hint of displeasure masked by a neutral facade. It was clear that he harbored some reservations about Calum, although he didn’t voice them outright.

Marius remained silent for a moment, his gaze lingering on Calum before returning to me with a serious question. “What should our arrangement be regarding the child?” he inquired, his tone carrying a weight of responsibility and concern.

During the brief pause that followed, my eyes drifted to MJ, who was beginning to show signs of drowsiness. It was a gentle reminder of the delicate balance we were trying to maintain.

“You’re welcome to visit her at my place anytime,” I offered, hoping to ease any concerns he might have. “Feel free to drop by whenever you’d like.”

Marius’s eyebrows knit together in a quizzical expression as he processed my suggestion. “Your place?” he repeated, seeking clarification, his tone tinged with curiosity and perhaps a hint of intrigue.

It was a realization that struck me with a sudden pang—I hadn't yet shared this detail with him, the fact that I had sold my condo and made the decision to invest in a permanent home.

"Yeah," I confessed, a hint of vulnerability in my tone as I revealed, "I asked my brother to handle the sale of my condominium unit and purchase a house for me instead. And honestly, I didn't want to revisit that unit again, not after everything that happened to me there a year ago."

Marius's reaction was palpable, his sigh carrying a weight that reverberated through the space between us. "Sam," he spoke softly, his voice tinged with a mixture of concern and curiosity.

Raising my head, I met Marius's gaze with a mix of anticipation and apprehension. "Yes?" I responded, silently bracing myself for his reaction to this significant change in my life.

Marius’s question hung in the air, lingering between us like an unspoken invitation to explore the possibilities of our intertwined future.

“Do you think it would be too much to ask if I request for both you and MJ to come with me to Bulacan?” Marius’s voice was filled with a blend of hope and uncertainty, his eyes searching mine for a glimpse of understanding.

The unexpected nature of his proposal caught me off guard, and I couldn’t help but furrow my eyebrows in surprise. “To Bulacan?” I echoed, seeking clarity amidst the sudden flood of thoughts and emotions that surged within me.

Marius nodded, his expression earnest and determined. “I want to be a part of our child’s life, Sam,” he continued his words carrying a weight of sincerity. “I understand your concerns about leaving MJ with me alone, so I thought if it’s possible, both of you could stay with me in Bulacan. It’s where our project is underway, and having you and MJ close by would mean the world to me. I wouldn’t miss a single moment with our daughter,” he explained, his voice soft yet resolute.

His request pulled at my heartstrings, evoking a mixture of longing and apprehension within me. The idea of us being together, as a family, was undeniably alluring. However, practical considerations and the complexities of our past weighed heavily on my mind.

“It’s highly improbable that things will unfold as you wish, Marius,” I responded, my tone gentle yet tinged with a hint of sadness, acknowledging the complexities of our situation.

"What do you mean by 'highly improbable'?" Marius's question hung in the air, his tone a delicate balance of curiosity and subtle irritation, a reflection of his desire to understand my reasoning.

I took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts before responding. "I mean, Marius, that the situation you're proposing is quite complex and unlikely to happen smoothly," I explained, my voice gentle yet firm, attempting to convey the intricacies that clouded my mind.

Marius's brows furrowed slightly, a hint of frustration simmering beneath the surface. "But I have a home. Why do I need to stay elsewhere if—" he began, his words trailing off as he struggled to articulate his perspective.

"Stay elsewhere?" I repeated a note of incredulity creeping into my tone as I processed his words.

"Yes! Isn't that your house?" Marius's voice rose slightly, a touch of agitation seeping into his words. "If I stay there, what does that make me? Am I not just a guest?" he pressed, the underlying tension becoming palpable as we delved into the intricacies of our potential living arrangements.

Marius's eyes bore into mine with a mixture of disappointment and frustration. "Please don't make things so complicated for us, Sam," he pleaded, his voice carrying a sense of weariness from our ongoing exchange.

"I'm not intentionally making things difficult," I replied softly, my tone remaining calm as I cradled our child in my arms. "But shouldn't we learn to be content with what I can provide?"

A flicker of irritation crossed Marius's features, his brows furrowing slightly. "Are you suggesting that I should settle for less? Is this still about your resentment?" he questioned, a trace of sarcasm lacing his words.

His words stung, igniting a spark of frustration within me. "What are you trying to imply?" I shot back, my voice tinged with a mix of confusion and defensiveness.

"I'm just speaking the truth!" Marius's voice rose with anger as he stood up, the tension between us becoming palpable in the charged atmosphere of the room.

As I observed Calum's approach, I subtly signaled to him, prompting him to hasten his steps. With a quick nod of understanding, he closed the distance between us, and I gently passed MJ into his waiting arms. His reassuring smile eased my mind momentarily, knowing that MJ was in good hands.

Meanwhile, Marius had already begun making his way towards his parked vehicle, his strides purposeful and determined. A sense of urgency stirred within me, a sudden realization dawning that I needed to speak to him before he departed, even though the exact reason eluded me at that moment.

With a surge of determination, I quickened my pace and caught up to Marius just as he reached his car. His hand paused on the door handle, ready to leave, but I couldn't let him go without addressing what needed to be said.

"Please, Marius, can we talk?" I implored, my voice tinged with a mix of urgency and uncertainty, my heart racing with unspoken emotions.

As Marius turned to face me, his eyes blazed with anger and frustration, the intensity of his emotions palpable in the air between us. His words were like a sharp slap, cutting through the tension-filled silence.

"Not now," he snapped, his voice edged with irritation. "Talk to me when you have a clear mind and stop hesitating just because your man is around!"

With that biting remark, Marius swiftly climbed into his car and revved the engine, pulling away from the driveway with a sense of finality. I stood there, watching his taillights fade into the distance, a whirlwind of conflicting emotions churning inside me.

Part of me wanted to find solace in the jealousy I had sensed in Marius earlier—the way his demeanor shifted, the tension in his voice—as if my connection with someone else stirred something possessive within him. It was a bittersweet validation of his feelings for me, a reminder that I still held a place in his heart despite our differences.

However, his words lingered like a painful echo, repeating in my mind like a broken record. "Because of your man's presence..." The sting of those words cut deep, stirring up a mixture of hurt, confusion, and self-doubt.

I couldn't help but replay the scene in my mind, analyzing every word, and every gesture, searching for clues to decipher the underlying meaning behind Marius's outburst. It was a moment filled with raw emotion, a collision of love and pain that left me grappling with the complexities of our relationship and the wounds that still lingered between us.