“ I WISH YOU WERE HERE”

"Maybe it's best if we head home," I suggested, aiming to interrupt or conclude the conversation and redirect our focus.

Calum's raised eyebrow conveyed his skepticism, prompting him to question me further. Not satisfied with a simple suggestion, he gave me a meaningful look, silently urging me to delve deeper into my reasoning.

Understanding his unspoken inquiry, I eventually agreed with him on that decision. Considering MJ's peaceful slumber, I didn't want to risk waking her or disturbing their rest by prolonging our discussion.

After our exchange, I made my way inside the house. Lana, noticing how deeply MJ was sleeping, suggested we stay the night and head home the next day. With no objections, I consented to her proposal.

"Why don't you just live here, Sam?" Lana's voice carried a hint of sincerity mixed with playful banter as we stood in the cozy warmth of the kitchen, preparing dinner together.

I blinked, momentarily taken aback by her unexpected suggestion. Was she serious, or was this just another playful remark from Lana? Her expression held a playful glint, but there was also a genuine curiosity in her eyes.

"Seriously?" I couldn't help but ask, a mix of surprise and disbelief in my tone.

Lana chuckled softly, her laughter a musical sound that filled the room before she replied, "Why not? After all, this used to be your home before my brother and I tied the knot, didn't it?" Her eyes met mine, holding a playful yet understanding gaze as she continued peeling the potatoes, the comforting aroma of the Caldereta wafting through the air.

Her words lingered in my mind, stirring a mix of nostalgia and warmth. It was true—I had spent countless moments in this kitchen, shared laughter and tears, and built memories that felt like a part of me. The thought of making this place my home again, even temporarily, sparked a sense of comfort and familiarity.

As I continued to cook alongside Lana, the idea of living here once more began to feel less like a whimsical suggestion and more like a possibility worth considering.

In the warm embrace of the kitchen, bathed in the gentle glow of ambient lighting, our conversation unfolded like a delicate dance between pragmatism and emotion. As Lana's suggestion hung in the air, I couldn't help but ponder the implications of her words.

With a soft smile playing on my lips, I replied to Lana, "Yes, that's true. But what about my house if we choose to stay here?"

Lana's voice, tinged with a hint of gentle reproach, carried across the room as she reminded me, "Why would we stay here? Remember, we have a house elsewhere too." Her words carried a sense of practicality that resonated with me, nudging me to consider alternatives.

"Maybe it would be better if you just hire someone to take care of the house for now," Lana continued, her tone laced with a touch of concern. "Then you can visit once in a while. You know, I think it's beneficial to have someone to talk to while things with Marius are still not okay."

Her suggestion struck a chord within me, stirring a whirlwind of emotions—doubt, longing, and a glimmer of hope. "Do you think Marius and I can still fix our problems?" I asked, the weight of uncertainty evident in the tremor of my voice.

Lana's response was a quiet sigh, a shared acknowledgment of the challenges ahead and the emotional turmoil we both felt. The air in the kitchen seemed to hold our unspoken fears and doubts, enveloping us in a cocoon of contemplation and introspection as we navigated the complexities of relationships and the quest for resolution.

Lana's touch on my hand felt reassuring yet tinged with a hint of urgency. The kitchen's warmth seemed to wrap around us, creating an intimate atmosphere for our conversation.

"Sam, Marius is my best friend. I know him inside out, and I'm telling you, he still loves you deeply," Lana spoke with conviction, her eyes conveying sincerity and understanding.

Her words stirred a whirlwind of emotions within me. I paused for a moment, absorbing her reassurance and the weight of her statement. A part of me wanted to believe her wholeheartedly, to cling to the hope that love could conquer all obstacles.

But doubts lingered like shadows in my mind. "It's hard to hold on to that hope, Lana," I confessed, my voice carrying the weight of past hurts and disappointments. "How can I trust Marius when I feel like I've been betrayed before?"

Lana's gaze softened, and she squeezed my hand gently. "Love doesn't always follow a straight path, Sam. Sometimes, it takes detours, but it doesn't mean it's lost. Look beyond the doubts and pay attention to his actions. Feel his love, and you'll know," she advised, her words filled with wisdom and empathy.

As Lana's words sank in, I couldn't help but wonder if love truly had the power to mend what was broken. The flicker of hope ignited within me, mingling with the lingering doubts, creating a complex tapestry of emotions that defined my struggle with love and trust.

I fell silent, acknowledging the truth in Lana's words. Everything she said mirrored what Marius had told me. But as I mentioned, I no longer had trust in Marius. That was my current battle.

*****

"Yeah, that sounds good, and I think it would be beneficial for you and my nephew," Andrew remarked.

We had just finished dinner. In the living room, I was with Andrew, Lana, and Calum. MJ, was already asleep, tucked in by Mama Sela. Meanwhile, Andrea was with Mama Cecille, who had just arrived from their house in San Juan, at Mercedes Estate.

The atmosphere was serene, filled with the soft glow of the lampshades and the faint scent of home-cooked meals. Andrew's words resonated in the cozy ambiance, highlighting the importance of family bonds and the comfort they bring during moments of uncertainty. The gentle hum of conversation and occasional laughter added to the warmth of the evening, creating a sense of togetherness that felt like a refuge from the outside world.

"I agree. At least I won't have to worry about the kind of person who will be taking care of MJ. Besides, Mama Sela is here, she took care of you both when you were little," Calum remarked, taking a sip from his cup of chamomile tea.

"Exactly," my brother chimed in, giving me a meaningful look that conveyed understanding and support.

"It's not easy to take care of a child while also juggling work, Sam. So I hope you agree to our suggestion. At least we'll be together here," Lana added, her tone reflecting a mix of concern and sincerity.

I didn't immediately respond after her words. I knew she was right. I also understood that Lana had a personal connection to what she said, having experienced it herself.

"Alright," I finally decided, agreeing to go along with their plan. It felt like a step towards unity and support, a decision rooted in the desire to face life's challenges together as a family.

"So, what's your next move, Calum?" I inquired, my curiosity piqued as I looked at him.

Calum gave a nonchalant shrug, his expression hinting at a playful suggestion. "I could crash here for a bit, maybe? Or perhaps at your place? What's your take on it?" His words were accompanied by a soft chuckle, adding a light-hearted touch to the conversation.

Lana and Andrew shared a knowing look as if they were already anticipating Calum's jesting nature. It was Andrew who chimed in, offering a solution to Calum's query. "You're more than welcome to stay here, Calum. However long you need," Andrew replied warmly.

Calum couldn't resist a mischievous grin, casting a wink in my direction that seemed to say, 'There you have it, problem solved'.

*****

I leaned over the crib where MJ was peacefully nestled, his tiny chest rising and falling in rhythmic breaths. The soft glow of the nightlight cast a warm ambiance around the room, adding a sense of serenity to the moment. Andrew's thoughtful purchase of the crib earlier that day at the mall had turned out to be a comforting haven for my son.

With a gentle smile, I brushed my lips against MJ's forehead, feeling a surge of maternal love and protection wash over me. It was moments like these when everything felt right and serene, that reminded me of the simple joys of motherhood.

The weight on my heart had lifted, thanks to the insistence of Andrew and Lana. Their unwavering support and encouragement had nudged me to agree to return and reside in this familiar house once again.

"I missed being here. And now it is so much better because I am with you, my precious," I whispered tenderly to MJ, careful not to disturb his peaceful slumber. “At least, even as I step back into work, I find solace knowing that you'll be safe and sound here," I continued, tracing a gentle path along his chubby cheek, relishing in the softness of his skin.

The lingering smile on my face refused to fade as I lay down. Only now did I truly feel the weight of exhaustion settling in. It seemed like I hadn't done much throughout the day, but the events from yesterday—-

I paused, my expression faltering as a rush of memories flooded my mind, recalling what Marius and I had done at this hour yesterday.

The vivid recollection came rushing back. The passionate moments shared with Marius inside the bathroom, the intense heat that engulfed us. Even in this air-conditioned room, I could feel my body temperature rising.

"I wish I could be with you always, Marius," I whispered into the air, squeezing the pillow tightly against me as if imagining it was Marius.