Chapter 25 Resilience

Resilience

To accept public appearances and grant interviews, Nina had an agreement with an advertising agency or media outlet. Questions were sent out beforehand, all arranged with Kara and Lyon before Nina would accept anyone into her home to interview her or go on a show. David's name and private life were forbidden to be mentioned in the questions. All duly signed off before she would grant the stories. She had already participated in a thousand events, interviews, and campaigns, even on television, all adapted to live streams, without physical presence, due to the pandemic. Always with bold messages confronting oppressors of the digital age. Inevitably she became a crime fighter against human rights in general.

David's eyes were glued to his laptop screen watching her speak, he was on one of his recording breaks when Nina was asked what he thought about the case of the police officer who killed a black man, who was unarmed and in custody when he was killed. There were protests all over the world against this case. People took to the streets and social networks to speak out against racism. This also generated other kinds of polemics, since many internet users did not accept that other people who were not black, among them famous artists, used their voices to defend this cause.

Nina spoke about discrimination, racism, violence, exclusion, and cultural disrespect. She gave many examples of what we see every day in the news around the world, and especially in Brazil and countries with higher rates of violence. She talked about criminality, and about the protests that many people on the internet have made against people of other ethnicities campaigning against racism.

- I have been tagged every day on thousands of issues related to prejudice, discrimination, and racism. What I have observed is that in numerous cases of public debate on social networks, many people do not accept being defended by people who are not of the same ethnicity as them. An example, if I am a woman, a gay man cannot use his voice to talk about feminism, or a man cannot campaign against sexual violence. The allegations are as diverse as possible. People are getting more and more radical. My personal opinion is that: Protest is protest! And the more people engaged in spreading the good, the greater and better will be the result in the fight against inequality, whatever form it takes. That is my opinion. - said Nina, continuing:

- I am aware that I will suffer even more attacks from people who disagree with that opinion. The truth is that when you choose one side, you will never please the other. So do good to no one! Don't do anything to please a crowd, follow your heart, your principles, as long as you don't hurt any living being on earth.

- Among thousands of comments that I read, one of them said: "A white person will never know what a black person goes through daily, in terms of prejudice, racism, and persecution. Many other people, be they redheads, blacks, whites, or Asians said against the white people who campaigned against racism...

...It's years of history and suffering. Yes! I agree, but just like the black people, the "favelados", as people from a less favored class are called, the Indians who have suffered genocide since the time of maritime and commercial expansion, the obese who are constantly discriminated against by society, the wheelchair users, LGBT, and any other type of human being who lives under oppression, the "whites" also have the right to be sympathetic. They have the right to be human, and just because they are human, they have the right to fight for another human being who is being attacked or wronged! No matter which ethnic group they belong to.

... We have to accept that the fight for acceptance and inclusion starts somewhere. The more people set an example in their social networks, the more people will become aware of prejudice! Isn't that what matters? We have to be more flexible. Violence begets violence! And protesting against other races, i.e. whites wanting to defend blacks, is like saying I can't campaign against a homeless person because I have a house, it's like saying I can't donate money to orphans because I was raised by my parents, it's like saying I can't fight for a disabled person because I don't have a disability, it's like generating an even bigger block preventing people from becoming aware. It is like excluding them, taking away their right to have a say in what is right or wrong regardless of color.

...Really only a black person can talk about the feeling of racism because only they really feel it, but why prevent other people from defending the cause? Thus making it more visible and stronger? I don't agree with some of the terms, of course, that white people also suffer racism for being white, I think it is quite different in everyday life, but anyone can suffer exclusion, prejudice, and discrimination, even being white. My grandmother is black and everyone in her family is black, my grandfather was white and in our whole family there is this miscegenation or mestizaje... And regardless of my skin color, I do want to have the right to defend my grandmother, for example, if someone thinks they can offend her because she is black. I am her granddaughter! We need all races to unite so that more and more people become normal to be the way they are so that one day everyone can speak as equals, without worrying about the color of their skin, their eyes, without worrying about beauty or social class parameters. - Nina concluded.

After Nina agreed to take part in campaigns against verbal violence written or spoken on social networks, she started to suffer more and more bullying. All kinds of offensive comments about her femininity, her long blond hair, her body, and her personal life. So many mean comments about her past, one of them said: "She lived in the slums and now she wants to teach the bourgeois how to behave"?

Another comment reproached her for coloring her hair in the fight against racism. The most diverse insults were posted on her official page, which was precisely against this kind of behavior: "Fake blonde!", "boring head of a Northeasterner", "This woman is an old woman, if only she were a young and rich girl from Hollywood, a model, someone more important wanting to appear at David's expense! Said the crazed fans who were obsessed with him, among thousands of insults talking about his way of dressing, his way of speaking and thinking.

David kept up with everything that had to do with Nina's name. In another campaign against mean-spiritedness, against bullying, digital influence, she would say:

- Don't take revenge! The study, work, love yourself, grow up! Can't do it? Is revenge inevitable? Then make your personal success your revenge. Leave people in a vacuum, with no answers to their causeless attacks. Don't give ammunition into the hand of banditry. Yes, bandit, yes. The word bandit means an individual who practices criminal activities. Who attacks, wounds, hurts, persecutes, and humiliates others without cause, is a bandit. A cell phone, a laptop, a tablet, can be used for good, to give a voice to those who don't have one, it can be used in countless ways for good, but it can also be used for evil. Think about this when you are doing groupthink to diminish someone in your school, college, in your building, or neighborhood.

...It is not me who is saying it, it is written in the law. Think about that when you have that digital weapon in your hand. - Then the camera focuses on the cell phone and quickly cuts to her pointing at her head. - Stop and think! How are you acting? Like an oppressor, dictator, like a thug? Beware of this digital weapon, - and again the camera focuses on the laptop, and zooms back to her pointing at the heart. - It has the same destructive power that any other weapon has! Let's spread empathy. A better world awaits you after the pandemic! It just depends on you and how you will use your influence in the public networks.

Several other texts of this style stamped her face. Nina was not afraid of controversial texts that could cause debates around the world. They had already been debating her life for months, without her request, let alone permission, out of sheer futility, so at least she would be raising people's awareness of what was wrong. If somehow this wave of nightmares that had happened in her life was going to count for anything, then she would use her voice for good, since keeping quiet had resulted in nothing. The attacks never stopped. If she could help 10 people in the world with these campaigns, she was already satisfied. That would be ten fewer people suffering.

- People suffer a lot daily. Life itself is already so painful for so many people who had no family, who had no housing, or who had no acceptance for being sick, suffering from obesity, or for being homosexual, or too tall, too short, single mother, old, and so on... the list is endless. Many people suffer just for being different. Still having to live with verbal attacks every day, and even physical attacks, for not being able to meet the demands of a hypocritical society, is hell on earth. - Nina said in another interview.

- No one should have to go through that. I don't even understand how this is allowed. Bad people find reasons to oppress, they point out flaws, they even create their own reality. They are blinded by their convictions, and most of them are hypocrites. Most people who are persecuting others on the internet or wherever are no better than they are. They should suffer harsher punishments like any other crime. This has to change. It has to be put into practice by good citizens. There has to be a fine for each verbal attack that someone unleashes without thinking about what he is causing to the other.

When it touches the pockets of others, those who are brave when they are with a "cool" class at school, or those who are behind the phone taking out their own frustrations on others, then I believe we will see a significant change. In the economy, in the pocket! Here's a hint! It works in Norway. Do some research. Today I was the victim, tomorrow it could be you! - said Nina once again in another session of questions.

David knew how much it cost Nina to be participating in those campaigns, he knew that she was helping a lot of people through the social networks and donating the money from those campaigns, it was a way to rub the faces of the people who called her a scammer, a self-interested, manipulative and Machiavellian Latina, how much she cared about money, so much that she donated everything. Much more than anyone who criticized her would have done.

Everything she spoke to encourage others, was part of the suffering she carried alive in her chest. Every word she spoke hurt him like a knife, he could almost feel what she was feeling as she said each syllable. It was more like an outburst. He could see the pain in her eyes. For this reason, people who were going through the same problems listened to her, because she was a living example that she was going to keep fighting for what was right, even though she was so hurt, even if it cost her so much. And she spoke with an open heart:

- Only those who have been through pain know how much it hurts to talk about it.... - Nina said in another video about sexual violence against women. - I have not suffered sexual abuse, but I want to say that supporting, being supportive of those who have suffered, fighting against all kinds of violence, speaking out, make all the difference!

- You can see what is happening now in November in Brazil. Where several women's groups are protesting against the sentence that was given to the rapist of a victim, classifying him as "rape by negligence" - Nina said, then announced the phone numbers for denunciations.

She participated in campaigns against domestic violence, violence against children and adolescents, and especially against animals. And as absurd as it seemed, every day she suffered more and more attacks because of this. Nothing she did or said would change the opinion of people who were determined to be haters!

The days passed and she had already prepared everything for the trip. Finally, Nina would tell the world her side of the story. Such an interview, on this so-called television program, would really have worldwide visibility. This was what David wanted so much for her. That she would tell on this program what she had been telling in local media campaigns. Although she was very sad, because she could not get Kara and Lyon to travel with her, due to the pandemic, they both encouraged her and made her stand up straight!

- Bags ready, documents here, hair ok, make-up ok, nails ok, eyebrows ok" - Kara checked, who drove her to the airport together with Lyon, in a never-ending cry the trio said goodbye and Nina boarded.

Nina was trembling when she arrived at the hotel where she had stayed. Everything had been arranged for her, the tickets, the hotel, the transportation, and a guide who was guiding her and was part of the "show" team where she would give an open interview about everything that had happened.

All the artists from the best known to the less known, businessmen and scientists had already passed through that stage. Did she keep asking her agent: why her? She was nothing. She was not an artist. The agent asked her to calm down, and he was there for that. To guide her, to give her instructions, to assure her that nothing would go wrong, to give her complete confidence. The agent was tall, handsome, charming, very charming. He was gay just like the hostess who had arranged everything for Nina. He was married to a very important director in the field of hero movie productions. He managed to put Nina at ease. He managed to win her friendship in a way that made her want to make an effort and decide to go for it.

The agent said that everybody on the show was on her side. He was very funny, he helped her shop, they spent the whole days together that weekend. He was practicing with her everything that was going to happen on stage, Elena, the renowned presenter, had also met her to make her less nervous at the time of the tapings. All at David's request. For Nina was terrified and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She didn't like the spotlight, she didn't like crowds on her. She was so nervous that she wanted to vomit and faint.

What Nina didn't know was that the host of the show in which she was to participate was one of David's best friends and admirers. She had personally told him everything. Every detail of how difficult it was to convince her to defend herself against so many months of attacks and criticism. Elena told him the whole process step by step and all the failed attempts. David followed everything closely. He himself instructed people on how they could convince her. If they talked about money, fame, or strategies, she would run away and shut herself up like an oyster forever.

David landed at the airport in the same city where Nina was to have her interview. The same weekend the two would be in the same city. He was picked up by Elena's program agents and was taken to the same hotel where Nina was staying. He was eating himself up inside imagining how scared, nervous and in pain, she must have been. He knew her and knew it was the last thing in the world that would make her happy.

David did all this because he thought she deserved to be heard, and deserved to show that she owed the world nothing, and he wanted it to be in her own right. That's why he kept quiet, that's why he didn't want to come out and ruin everything with another scandal of the two of them together on the Internet. He didn't want to frighten her. He watched her from afar with Elena's agent. When he saw her in the hotel lobby, he smiled, that wide smile was there, but at the same time, his eyes filled with tears imagining the distance between the two of them.

It pained him to imagine how much she must have been suffering. He knew the panic she felt every time she was exposed. He had followed closely when they were together. Her greatest fear was being stalked and attacked, as she saw happening to thousands of ordinary people on the internet, and most artists and that was exactly what happened to her.

His heart was apprehensive. He wished he could hug her, kiss her, hold her in his arms. He wanted to protect her and tell her how much he missed her. She was so close and yet so far away. If he showed up on her hotel room doorstep, it could jeopardize everything. It was better that she continued with her anger and pride, even if it was only in a superficial way, acting like a spoiled little girl who had her right to choose taken away from her, he knew that this way she would face the world and even defy him if she had to.