Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18.

That night, after my night prayers, I laid down on the bed to sleep. After I finished dressing Zero's wounds, he disappeared from the house.

Darkness engulfed the room, only a soft glow of light penetrated from the window.

I couldn't sleep no matter how I tried. Maybe it's because of the events of the day. Maybe it's because he isn't here with me.

I don't know why he is there in my every thoughts. This past days he isn't there, I looked out for the sight of him a lot.

Now, he's not here in the house and I wish that he is. What is wrong with me?

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to sleep. Then, the creak of the bedroom door opening made my eyes sprang open.

A calmness settled over me when I saw him, but at the same time, a different kind of heart racing began, because he's in the same room I am, and it's obvious he plans to sleep here with me.

"A-Are you sleeping here?" I forced myself to ask.

He threw me a look that says I'm asking the most obvious of questions. "Of course I'm sleeping in the fucking bed. You're not safe, yet and I need to protect you. Not that it's the only reason there is."

He turned away from me and started undressing his clothes. I snapped my head away from him and wrapped the blanket tightly against me.

"T-That's n-not the only reason?" I picked up on the words.

"I want to sleep with you. I want to hold you in my damn arms all fucking night." He stated bluntly.

I shivered slightly, thrown for a loop at his words. "Look here, Mr Zer---"

"Cut it off with the 'Mr' crap." I can feel his glare at me.

I forced myself to look anywhere but at him, even as he walked closer to me. I felt his breath behind me, my spine stiffened.

"Zero...." I corrected softly, but my mind couldn't think of a thing I wanted to say.

I scooted to the other side of the bed as the bed digged and I heard him lie down behind me. The feeling of safety disappeared as fear crept up inside of me.

I might not know much but I'm not completely a novice. I know the concept of what goes on between a man and a woman.

In school at the convent, I was making a research online when an ad popped up on my laptop. Two people were locked in an intimate embrace, naked.

I still remember being confused and going to Sister Benedetta to ask her about it. Sister Benedetta cheeks had colored but she'd explained to me that it's the way babies are made. Even though she was uncomfortable talking about it, she had told me what she could.

In the darkness of the night, my body was drawn taut with tension and fear. What if he wants t-t-to....

"What the devil's balls are you thinking about that has your back as straight as a goddamn ramrod?" His groaned behind me, startling me.

"N-Nothing." I shook my head for emphasis. Because my back was to him, I found the courage to ask, "Please, can you reduce the way you swear? At least around me, please?"

Silence. Deafening silence, and I thought he wouldn't agree. I thought he's already angry and my tension only mounted.

"Alright, doll." He drawled at last and most of the tension left my body.

The night stretched, the silence lengthed. More time passed and slowly, my body relaxed.

ZERO

My mood fucking detoriated.

I was really sure that I'll be balls deep inside her wet heat tonight but as I watched the tension that seized her body, the waves of fear and the fucking bruises from Valerie, I found myself making no move towards her.

A fucking first. Because I never notice shits like that. Even if I do, I don't really give a shit fuck and that's what makes me the motherfucker I am.

I wear the damn badge with honor too.

As I watched the tension drain from her and her breath eventually evened out into a peaceful sleep, I promised myself tomorrow. I will have her tomorrow.

Patience, Zero. Hell, that bastard has never been my strong suit.

My damn cock was so hard, the clueless fuck was almost painful. Poor thing doesn't know he ain't getting any pussy tonight.

I got up after she has slept and walked to the bathroom and jerked off.

But even after the release, I was still hard and wanting the softness lying down on the goddamn bed a few steps away.

I should go out and get some whore, I thought as I showered. But as the thought took root, it was easily discarded.

She'll be vulnerable if I'm not here, I can't leave her. And also frankly, I don't want some cheap piss-coin whore, I want her.

Tomorrow, I promised myself.

***********

Only that I kept postponing the mission every damn night after that.

Every night, we slept together on the bed but that's where the shit ended. Every night I was sure I'll make a damn move but I find myself postponing shit.

First is because of the fear that radiates from her in waves whenever we lay together, and then the tension, and then the bruises.

As days goes by she got used to sleeping beside me, in fact, she has come to like and expect it too. She even smiles at me and even turn to face me there on the bed even with her cheeks all heated up.

But then I wouldn't return the smile because my mood is so fucking dark it's not even funny. I'll growled at her with a huge frown and she'll stiffen and draw away.

I can't fucking help myself and I didn't even try. Although shit is not medically certified but I think I have an honest-to-God blue balls.

I want her to offer me her body but shit like that doesn't look like it's gonna happen. She only offers food and even goddamn prayer sometimes.

Oneday I caught her kneeling and meditating, and I'd asked her what the hell she's doing, she said it's praying. There goes that foreign word again.

She'd even gone ahead to invite me to join her in "Praying", I'd given her one long glare that made her shrink back from me visibly.

It's one damn thing I let her speak the foreign words before we can eat. It's another damn thing she wants me to join her in speaking them.