Chapter 62

LEILANI.

His hands stopped stroking my back. “Five.”

My heart slowed, as if my veins were filled with icy slush instead of warm blood. I didn’t know if I wanted him to continue his story, even though I was the one who asked him to tell it.

“She was a beautiful child. Russian. Big blue eyes and yellow hair that curled. Like a doll. Like you."

"Oh..."

His lips pursed, his face hard. "I went undercover as Laria's personal trainer and spent weeks with the little one. That look in your eyes was Love. She looked at me that way. She likes being in my company....a damn first for me.

“What did you do?” My voice was small, barely passing my lips.

“I did my job. On a very good day, I dressed up in black and ambushed them at home. Killed four of the father’s men and put a bullet between his eyes as his daughter cried.”

I could barely breathe, my heart heavy.

“I went there intending to kill the girl. I walked over to her where she cowered in a corner, a little stuffed bunny in her arms. She shook, her tiny body incapable of holding all the horror and fear it was experiencing.” He gripped me tighter, like I was a life raft and he was trying desperately not to drown.

“I pointed the gun at her, my finger on the trigger.”

A tear leaked from my eye and landed on his chest. I dreaded hearing this. While I'm happy that Zavier can tell me about himself like this, I dreaded hearing about this part of Zero's expenditure.

"Did you kill her?" I whispered with dread.

He held my eyes. "She cried, too. Tears rolling down her innocent face as she looked from her dead father to me and back again. She hugged her bunny. I decided I’d bury her with it as a kindness. The money was too damn good to pass up. Her blood would just add to the ocean I’d already spilled. I forced myself to believe that killing her was no different than snuffing out dirty lives.”

A sob threatened to rise from my throat as his voice tightened with emotion.

“She finally settled her terrified eyes on me and said one word. 𝑷𝒐𝒛𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒖𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂. Please.”

I clenched my eyes shut and imagined it, a child on the floor and Zero pointing a gun at her. It shattered me. “What did you do?”

“I fired.”

I froze, my body chilling to the bone, and impulsively, my hands pushed at him. He held me tight, refusing to give me even an inch of space.

“I didn’t kill her, Lani. I couldn’t. No matter how evil I am, I found out that I couldn't kill her after all. That confused the hell outta me...coupled with that look in her eyes.”

“Oh my god.” I stopped pushing at him and relaxed on his chest. “I thought…”

“I know, doll. Thing is, I was so close." He took a deep breath, "I want you to know how dark it gets inside me. I want you to see it all. Her life was a means to an end for me, and I was going to erase it until her sweet voice cut through to my soul. Pozhaluysta.”

I scooted up and looked into his dark eyes, then kissed his cheeks. “But you didn’t. You’re not that man.”

“I’m not. Not anymore.” He stroked my hair. " You know, I was going worse before I met. I felt the darkness eating the fvck at me all the more as days fvcking passed. Then, I met you...."

He kissed me on the lips and I readily opened up for him. The kiss was hard like the man, and I reveled in it.

I was panting by the time he pulled away. “What did you do with her?” I gasped.

He grimaced. “I made a deal with Greg. He was my main contact on the job, and he would have found out that I’d left her alive. Nothing flies under his goddamn radar. I told him I’d killed the father, but that the girl was too young to know anything and wasn’t a threat."

"He’d reminded me that wasn’t the point. Serge wanted people to fear him. Killing the girl was the ticket. He said he’d do it himself." He stated.

"He's such a monster!" I cried out, exasperated.

Zavier's lips turned up. "Yeah, Greg was just that shit. When he said he's gonna kill the girl first, I told him I’d kill him, but first I’d murder his wife and children in front of him, drain their blood into a tub, and then drown him in it.”

“Holy Jesus, Zavier....”

He averted his eyes, looking guilty immediately.. “I was bluffing…mostly.” He grunted.

Something told me he hadn’t been bluffing at all. Zavier doesn't bluff.

“After that bit of persuasion, Greg agreed to help me. Laria was adopted by a nice upper-middle-class family in Rhode Island.”

I smiled, feeling better..

He returned the smile. “She loves horseback riding and chess. All-American girl. She’s even lost her accent. After some intensive work with a therapist of my choosing, she was able to forget ‘the man in black’—me."

"I still check up on her every few months, though she has no idea. Greg and I kept the secret, and as far as Serge and everyone else knew, I’d killed her and buried her with her father."

I rubbed his arm, "You did the right thing. Even Zero wasn't so bad after all."

He chuckled softly, his face loosing all hard lines. "That's ridiculous."

Before I could say anything else, his mouth came back to mine.

This time around, the kiss never ended. It went on and on and on, his mouth mapping out every contours of mine, while his hands caressed my back to come around my chest and twirl my br€asts.

I signed into his mouth and he pulled back, his eyes glazed over. He reached behind me and drew the window blinds close.

"We're having a long night tonight, Mrs Ryker." He groaned as he removed the towel from my body.

"Zavier...." I moaned.

"Don't worry, you've got the whole day to sleep tomorrow...." He palmed my breast and twerked a rosy nipple, drawing a moan from me. "....but tonight, you're mine."

He dropped down to his knees, held my knees and pushed them apart...

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