Chapter 38

ADRIA'S POV:

"Do you still love him", we both asked each other at the same time.

I was expecting this question from her but it came sooner than expected. I didn't know what to say so Andrea decided to talk first.

"I do. I do love him, to me love is a feeling which can never die. It can either suppress or be overpowered by hatred but it can never die. Austin is my first love and the day I met him years back was the best day of my life. He made me feel loved and secure, he cared for me and promised to take me out from the hell I was in. And he did. He fulfilled his promise. he saved us from Jake. But as I said love can be overpowered by hatred sometimes, I still love him but the things he did to you and dad made me hate him more. I can never forgive him for that Adria. Never. Yes, I imagined my future with him hundreds of times but now when I look at him, I see Jake in him. When he was confessing about whipping you and burning your skin, I remembered the days when Jake used to do the same to our mom. I can never respect another monster in my life, I can never see myself with him" when she said this I started respecting her even more. She has faced so much in life yet she had so much fight inside her. She is fierce and bold. Unlike me, she is very clear about her feelings.

"I have said everything I wanted to, now it's your time", she asked and waited for my reply. I was about to speak but she stopped me again. "Wait, you have two guys in your life and I want to know how you feel about the both of them", she asked and when she saw my confused face she told me to start with Connor.

I sighed, "To be honest, I don't think I can ever stand his face again. He manipulated me, he just wanted me physically. He was playing with my feelings since the beginning and made me believe that I loved him but all was a lie. He was ready to hurt us all without any hesitation and he did.."

"Well, even Austin hurt you the same way", Andrea interrupted me.

"No, Austin had missundersting. He mistook me as you and dad as Jake. When I refused to recognize him he was hurt, also you told him how Jake used to abuse you that's why he mistreated dad. He did what he did because of all the confusion"

"So now you are defending him?", she questioned me raising her brows.

I sighed "I am not. I agree what he did was wrong in every sense but his actions were not evil and intentional like Connor", I reasoned.

"Adria, love I am not asking about who was less wrong. I am asking you what do you feel about them. Can you be a bit clear?", my sister questioned me in a strict tone.

Clear, means being sure or definite; without any doubts or confusion.

I was anything but sure. My feelings were anything but definite. My thoughts had too many doubts and I was confused as fuck. Have you ever seen entangled wires? My feelings, thoughts, sanity, respect, trust and love were all long wires entangled badly in each other. I wanted to separate them and make my life easy but I was not able to find the ends.

The only thought clear in my mind was that my family is more important to me than anything and staying with Austin was going to mess with my family.

"I don't know Andrea, I don't know whether I love him or not. Hell, I don't even know whether I ever loved him or was it just Stockholm syndrome or attraction. But one thing I know is that I can't be with him. When I left him I was guilty that I stabbed him for a crime he did not even commit also the fresh memories I had with him were the good ones. The one where he treated me like a queen, the one where his mother loved me like her own, the one where he expressed his feelings to me and promised me the whole world. My heart was making itself run towards him but..", I paused as a sob escaped my lips. Everything was just too much to handle.

"But when we talked about the pas. When he, himself confessed about the things he did to me all the bad memories which were suppressed by the good ones, resurfaced. I felt my heart running away from him. But..", I stopped myself and looked down at the floor not having the courage to face her. Sensing my hesitance she took my hand in her and made me look into her eyes.

"You can say anything sister, I won't judge you", she said with a goddess-like smile on her face. I decided not to hide anything from her anymore. She deserves to know everything. So I continued.

"When I saw the guilt in his eyes and the sadness on his face when he was confessing his sins, my heart melted. I felt something I shouldn't feel. I felt bad for him. On one hand, seeing his saddened face made me hug and console him but on the other hand, the words he was speaking, played the scenario of him hurting me and I wanted to run away from him at the same time......AHHHH", I cried out loud. My head and heart-aching because of all the mixed feelings I have. I held my head with both my hands trying to stop the throbbing.

Andrea hugged me and started rubbing my back. I let out all the frustration I had and cried in her arms. She didn't stop me and let me pour out as much as I can. We only broke the hug when the sound of my sobs stopped and my tears dried.

"I hope you are feeling better now", she asked. "Whenever I felt sad mom let me cry like this to make me feel a bit light", she explained while patting my head as if I was her kid.

After some time she went to the bathroom and brought a wet towel and wipe my face with it. We even laughed when she acted as if she is cleaning my nose.

"I won't tell you what you should do. Your feelings belong to you dear and no matter what you feel, no matter what decision you take no one is going to judge you. Neither me nor dad. But my only advice to you will be that, take your time and think wisely. Cause I believe in you. I know whatever you do will be the best and we will always be there for you", saying that she put the comforter on my body and patted my head until we both drifted to sleep.

-------------------------------------------------

The next couple of days went in a blur. Dad was resting properly and his condition was improving. Austin didn't show us his face. It felt like we were the owner of the mansion and not him. Augustus came a few times to inform us that the police have got many shreds of evidence against Jake and he would surely be imprisoned for a lifetime. All his clubs were sealed for selling drugs and sex trafficking. His chapter was closed for us.

Connor's father was arrested for corruption. His links with the underworld were proved and he was imprisoned too.

Connor on the other hand was free. His dad made sure to keep his name clear. He let him work as a professor only to keep his image white. If I had even the slightest doubt about Connor being bad, all my doubts vanished yesterday when he barged into Austin's mansion. Well, Austin let him barge in so that we could see his true face. He confessed all his doings and blamed us for his father's condition.

"Bitch, if only you were not a good lay I would have handed you over to Jake earlier", his harsh words still ringing in my mind which he shouted before Augustus ordered the guards to throw him out of the mansion. Later that night Augustus told Andrea that Connor was taken care of and he won't disturb us in the future. Andrea voiced her doubts and asked him whether he was alive or dead. Augustus told her he was alive and that's all we had to know.

A week passed and Austin never showed us his face. He respected our feelings and stayed away from part of the house we were in so that we would be comfortable. Without even bothering us he eliminated all our worries and took care of all our problems.

I found my feelings for him resurface and I decided to talk to him. I still needed time but I was willing to try and give him a chance. Yes, I did ask Andrea and she was fine with my decision. she said she won't ever give him a chance so I need not worry about her past with him. I decided not to stress dad about this and only tell him after conforming to Austin's feelings about me.

So finally after deciding to talk to Austin I started walking towards the other end of the mansion where he was hiding from us. I knew the room. I had been there so it wasn't difficult for me to find. I was about to reach his room when I heard the sound of someone banging a door.

I was just a couple of rooms away from Austin's room. And the person inside looked like they wanted to break the door. I went near it, my legs shaking in horror as I heard a raspy voice.

"Let me out, you bastard", The voice confirmed that the person was a woman.