Chapter 38 Xie Qingcheng, I Never Forgot You
·
Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou
The photo of Zhang Yong's death has disappeared, and what is left now is the last blood-red text——
L.
Throwing the handkerchief to kill the game is the final game, officially started.
"Tell me who are the L's that you locked."
In the bedroom, Xie Qingcheng took a deep puff of a cigarette, resting one hand on the wall, and pressing the fingertips of the other hand on his temple, his peach blossom eyes floated up, staring closely at the bloody light on the radio tower in the distance .
Team Zheng on the phone said something to him earnestly.
Xie Qingcheng restrained his emotions: "I won't tell you about these things. You give me the list."
"..."
"A while ago, I sent a guest book found by Shanghai University to the police station. It said that wzl will be killed in the near future, and the signature was Jiang Lanpei. I thought it was something useful to your police, so I sent it back. You don't have to Tell me, that kind of notebook will not appear there for no reason, and it can also be matched with the information on today's murder video."
"Xiao Xie..."
"That's a message from your informant, isn't it?"
Xie Qingcheng went straight to the point, and the other party couldn't even say a word of denial.
Xie Qingcheng gritted his teeth: "So you already knew that WZL was going to be killed, but I'm afraid the informant didn't know much about it, so he could only write down the information he knew in his notebook, remind you, and let you decipher—— WZL, count the days, you should have been thinking about this news for a long time, enough to lock a list. Zheng Jingfeng, don’t tell me you don’t have this thing.”
Captain Zheng sighed for a long time: "...I can't hide it from you, Xiao Xie. Listen to me, I understand your feelings. No one can bear this matter, but..."
When Zheng Jingfeng changed the subject, Xie Qingcheng's smoke burned the side of his finger, making him shiver slightly.
"However, we must keep it secret..."
Xie Qingcheng suddenly became violent. He was rarely so emotional: "Secret? What secrecy? When my parents died, you couldn't find anything. In the end, it was just a car accident! I told you at that time How long? How much did I pay for an answer?! You all know everything, but you can’t find any evidence! So many years... I still have a younger sister, and then I gave up, I can’t care so much... But Now these people are dangling under my nose, you tell me to keep it a secret?"
"Xie Qingcheng, you are not a policeman after all, you have to calm down..."
"I'm fucking the victim's son!"
"..."
"Who are those people who killed my parents? I might find someone alive today to ask." Xie Qing's eyes were red, and his forehead was pressed against the cold window, "Say it. How do you want me to calm down."
"..."
"How do you want me to trust you, Zheng Jingfeng? It's been 19 years, and you haven't given me an answer. Now you can't even stop the hacker countdown of this murderous video, you don't need to tell me, I know those people are Dao Gaoyi The ruler demon is one foot tall, how likely is it that they will be able to escape unscathed this time?"
"Officer Zheng Jingfeng, do you understand what it's like to know only darkness for 19 years, but can't wait for the truth! I've been enduring and waiting."
"...I understand. But..."
"I have understood you for 19 years, can you understand me this day."
"...I understand, I understand..." The other party murmured, as if he didn't know what to say.
Xie Qingcheng paused, every word was bloody.
"Team Zheng. If you really understand, give me L's list."
"..."
"Otherwise, I'll find a way to find it myself."
"..."
A little silence.
Zheng Jingfeng finally said: "Oh, Xiao Xie, please listen to your Uncle Zheng's advice..."
He then said some persuasive words earnestly and earnestly, but that became the last straw that crushed Xie Qingcheng.
He suddenly yelled and kicked the seat next to him: "Fuck you! What's the use of that? Don't talk nonsense to me again!!!"
Xie Qingcheng threw the phone heavily on the table, his forehead was pressed against the wall, and he was bluish and red because of his emotional agitation.
No one in this world, not even Xie Xue, has seen his face like this.His chest heaved violently, and his eye sockets were also red and bloodshot.
He was silent for a moment, and looked at the radio and television tower again.
The projection screens of the broadcasting tower and these tens of thousands of mobile phones are synchronized in real time, and the handkerchief throwing video game behind L is slowly progressing.
Xie Qingcheng tried his best to calm himself down, picked up the phone again with trembling fingers, adjusted his breathing, and dialed Chen Slow's number.
"Beep...beep..."
"Hi, brother thank you."
"Chen Man." Xie Qingcheng hoarsely said to the person on the phone, "...There is one thing, see if you can help me."
Chen Slow paused: "Brother, as long as you ask me to do it, I will do it. But..."
"..."
Chen Slow's voice became very uncomfortable: "But I know what you want to do now."
Xie Qingcheng couldn't bear it anymore, he touched the cigarette again, managed to find one and bit it between his teeth, but he couldn't light it.
He threw the lighter aside irritably and bit the filter paper hard. "you know?"
"I know that the public security in almost the whole of Shanghai is now monitoring this matter. The mobile signal port of Shanghai University was hacked and the death video was forcibly transmitted. Although our people have intercepted the hacker——but we have received anonymous threats. If We blocked the video, and there will be bomb attacks in several places in Shanghai. We can’t be sure if it’s true or not, but we can’t afford to bet on it.” Chen Man’s voice seemed tired, “Brother Xie, I know what you want to do. "
"..."
"I saw what you saw. I know you want to find L, prevent him from being killed, and ask who the murderer who killed your parents was and which organization it was."
When Chen Man said this, his voice was a little choked up: "I also know...I also know that my elder brother was trying to get back the truth for your father and his master, so he...he..."
Chen Huan's sniffling sound came from the other end of the phone.
Xie Qingcheng's Adam's apple rolled up and down, and his throat felt a little bitter.
Chen Man didn't cry in front of him, but through the electric current, his tears seemed to fall on his heart.
"You can't do this, can you?" Xie Qingcheng asked softly.
"I can't... this is a rule... I, I'm just a grassroots, I don't have access to such a high secret key, and I... I'm a policeman... I..."
"..." Xie Qingcheng didn't say anything.
He can scold Zheng Jingfeng, even if Zheng Jingfeng is his elder.But in this matter, he could never scold Chen Man.
He just said infinitely tiredly: "Forget it."
"Thank you, I—"
Xie Qingcheng has already hung up the phone.
He was lying on the bed, time was passing by around him, his whole body was cold, from his fingertips to his heart...
"Dad!!! Mom!!!"
"Don't go! Xie Qingcheng! Don't go!!!"
On a rainy night 19 years ago, when he finally realized who the two cold corpses lying in a pool of blood were, he lost control and wanted to pounce on his parents.
His father's colleagues hugged him, and several people rushed over to stop him.
"Who is the murderer? Who is the murderer? Who is the driver!!"
"..."
"You let me go...you let me see more clearly, could it be a mistake, could it be the wrong person...?!"
Those policemen were crying, but they still refused to let go of their hands holding him.
"Xiao Xie, don't do this."
"The driver escaped, we will investigate...we will definitely investigate and give you an explanation..."
But what explanation did they give him?
He later learned that no one escaped.According to the monitoring, the car was completely unmanned. It seemed to be controlled by some remote device, and it hit his parents straight. The evidence was burned cleanly and thoroughly.
Dry and clean.
It has been clean for 19 years, but it has not been detected.
Xie Qingcheng was lying on the bed, feeling more and more cold. He couldn't light a cigarette with trembling hands, so he reluctantly turned on the phone, found a file from it, and kept looking at the pictures in it.
"Click" sound.
The bedroom door opened.
At this time, Xie Qingcheng closed his eyes and turned off his phone, and calls began to come in one after another on his phone——
There are old colleagues of his parents, there is Xie Xue, and there is Chen Man.
He didn't answer anyone, and let the phone ring one after another, stinging his eardrums.
"Jingle Bell……"
Suddenly, the phone stopped ringing.
Then there was the sound of shutting down.
Xie Qingcheng covered his forehead and eyes with his arms, and then he opened his eyes slightly, and looked numbly at the young man who turned off his mobile phone through his bent arms.
"I heard everything." He Yu said.
"..."
"You never told me that your parents left like this."
Xie Qingcheng turned his head. He didn't cry after all, but his eyes were so red that he wanted to get up and go out. He Yu couldn't understand these things.
Xie Qingcheng didn't want to talk too much with him.
He sat up, picked up the cigarette with his still slightly trembling hand, and lit it a few times, but his hand didn't have the strength to light it.
The lighter was taken over, and it clicked crisply, He Yu lit the Zippo for him, and brought it to Xie Qingcheng's lips.
"..." Xie Qingcheng took it, took a sip, and the trembling all over his body gradually subsided.
He Yu sat beside him, quietly watching him finish his cigarette.
He felt that Xie Qingcheng was actually very powerful. When he encountered such a thing, he just lost control of his emotions, and he did not lose his composure, nor did he have a nervous breakdown.
But such a helpless Xie Qingcheng is still rare in front of him.
He looks very fragile, and He Yu is used to his strength. Xie Qingcheng, who is so fragile, has searched for everyone, but no one is willing to help him. Xie Qingcheng, who can help him, gave He Yu a feeling The feeling of wanting to reach out to him.
He looked at Xie Qingcheng's desperate yet silent look, and suddenly, he felt familiar.
He stared at him for a while...
Then he remembered.
It was very similar to himself when he was ill, at the age of eight, nine, ten... Whenever he was in the most pain, he would be so helpless, but also so silent, unwilling to say anything to others.
And at that time, how did Xie Qingcheng treat himself?
……too long.
He Yu was surprised, how could he still remember.
Maybe it was after Xie Qingcheng became his personal doctor... It was the first time he got sick.
That day, needles could be heard in the villa, and it was as quiet as a barren grave.
He sat alone on the stone steps blooming with hydrangeas, without crying or making noise, he took out a sharp silver knife, and slowly cut open his own flesh and blood, as if he was dealing with a skin that had nothing to do with him.
When He Yu got sick, he liked the smell of blood, he was bloodthirsty.Although there is no right to hurt others, no matter what you do to yourself, it is always right.
He watched the blood flow down his hand indifferently, felt his heart was covered with moss, and the cruel feeling extended from the core to the limbs...
Suddenly, in the depths of endless summer flowers, a calm voice resounded——
"Hey, kid."
He Yu was taken aback, and immediately hid the blade calmly, put his hands behind his back, and then cleaned up a pure land on his childish face, piled up with the innocence that a child should have.He raised his head and found that the person walking out from the flower room was the very young Xie Qingcheng in a white coat.
Xie Qingcheng raised his eyebrows and looked at him condescendingly: "What are you hiding?"
"……nothing."
He Yu never talked to anyone, so he naturally hoped that he would go away.
The sharp blade in the sleeve was against the skin, and it took a lot of effort for him to restrain the desire to use it to inflict violence on others.
But Xie Qingcheng grabbed his wrist and forced him to stretch out his hand, the bloody knife fell to the ground, Xie Qingcheng saw the bloody knife edge on his wrist.
He Yu tensed up, waiting for him to scold him.
But after waiting for a long time, he only waited for the doctor to say: "...do you not hurt?"
He was stunned.
His parents knew he was sick, but they seemed ashamed of his illness.Especially his mother—
"You can't hurt anyone. You have to learn to regulate yourself. I can understand your physical discomfort, but why do children have so much mental pain? It seems that you are still not strong enough."
He quietly listened to his mother's admonitions like this every time he was taught.He followed their requirements to live up to certificates, trophies, and compliments.
He was in pieces, and every piece of flesh and blood had to be examined under a microscope.
He can't go wrong.
Therefore, every time he gets sick, he will carefully hide the pain and internalize it into his callused heart.
He must be excellent, he can't even cry out in pain.It's no use shouting, no one really cares.
Gradually, he lost the instinct to cry out for pain.It doesn't matter anymore.
It's like the evil dragon grinding its teeth and sucking blood in the fairy tale book, with spiny skin and sharp claws, but it has never flown out of its own reef.What he tortured was his own heart, and what he gnawed was his limbs. He transformed those perverted diseases that would disappoint people into scars that could not be easily shown.
As long as he doesn't harm others, his illness is not missed, right?
Every fishy and sweet blood mark was the brand he had slapped on himself, and it was the shackles he chose to restrain himself in order to be a normal person.
His own blood was the only sacrifice he offered for the sickness.
He has long been used to these.
But that personal doctor wanted to break free from the iron chains that bound him, to step into his dark and dark dragon’s lair, to touch the scars on his body of various shades, and then ask him, Hey, brat, don’t you feel pain? ?
A young dragon roared weakly but furiously in his heart, but when the man stretched out his hand to caress his wound, he dragged his bloody body to dodge hastily, and the thorny tail of the dragon flapped anxiously.
He's not used to being questioned.
Not used to being cared about.
He said, I don't hurt.
I don't hurt you, don't look at me like this!I won't hurt anyone, don't lock me up, don't question me, don't approach me, go away...
But the hand was pinched, and the young doctor pulled out his arm that had been hidden under it, and opened his sleeve.
The cold blade fell to the ground.
As far as the eyes can see, this young and immature child, in order to restrain his urge to hurt others, made a series of cuts on his body with the tip of a knife when he was ill, and the warm blood was still flowing in a criss-cross pattern.
The young dragon seemed to have been frightened by something, and even dropped the well-behaved and docile human mask, revealing the ugly and scarred face of the young dragon behind.
He flapped his thorny dragon tail, showed his sharp teeth when he roared, and with all his vigilance, he anxiously drove the intruder out of his lair——
"It's none of your business, don't touch me."
The young doctor didn't care about his resistance, and walked around his creaking hole with his hands, picked up the little child, and carried it on his shoulders.
"do not move."
He Yu struggled, he hated the smell of disinfectant on his body, and the faint smell of medicine in his sleeves.
He could no longer hide his tyranny, and he gritted his teeth and whispered a threat, which was also a warning.
"Let go of me, or I might hurt you..."
"..."
The doctor said lightly: "How do you plan to hurt me? Do you have a specific plan?"
Back in the treatment room in the villa, the doctor threw him on the soft sofa for children, slammed the door, and then went to the drawer to take out a disposable mask and put it on.When he turned his head, He Yu only saw Xie Qingcheng's deep and sharp black eyes.
It was the first time that he was not stared at and envied as a "role model".
He seems to have suddenly become a clumsy child in such eyes, mistakes and ridiculousness are all excusable, and there is nothing wrong with even reaching out to ask someone for candy.
So he froze and forgot to run away.
Xie Qingcheng washed his hands by the sink to disinfect himself, and then said: "Stretch out your hand, and I will bandage it for you."
"...It's okay. I don't care." He Yu turned his head away, clutching his bleeding wound, unwilling to believe the person in front of him.
Xie Qingcheng slightly raised his eyebrows: "You are used to the smell of blood and violence, and you don't even care about self-harm because of this, do you?"
He Yu said softly:
"Yes. This cannot be changed, and I don't want to trouble you to treat it."
Xie Qingcheng said indifferently: "I took the money."
"..."
"Little ghost, do you think self-mutilation is the right thing? Bloodthirsty madness, inner twist, is it something that should be ignored?"
"You want to hurt yourself, you don't even value yourself. If you smell too much blood, you will lose all human feelings. Slowly, you will become more and more crazy, more and more numb, and you will live like a stubborn grass. Shi, don't you regret it? Don't you feel pain?"
……
These conversations are as if they happened yesterday.
Even if Xie Qingcheng left later and his relationship with him faded away, he still remembered that day, it was the first time such a person stretched out his hand to him, and then asked him.
Don't you hurt?
Why don't you even value yourself...
He Yu watched the man hang his head and smoke out the last bit of cigarette.
He suddenly said, "Xie Qingcheng, you want to know who L is targeted by the police, don't you?"
"..."
"Don't be sad. Maybe I can help you."
Xie Qingcheng suddenly raised his head and looked at him with wide peach blossom eyes.
"Don't forget." He Yu said, "I'm also a hacker."
"..."
"The equipment they use is the most cutting-edge. Out of habit, I have known about that equipment as soon as it came out. I have also blocked the other party's attack on my mobile phone just now. I probably know their procedures. The technicians hired by these people , I may not be able to break through."
He Yu wasn't joking with him.
His expression was very serious, even dignified.
As if proclaiming to the mountain standing in front of him with an insurmountable posture all the time, he has grown up and is no longer the helpless boy in the endless summer.
Xie Qingcheng was at a loss for a moment, his mind went blank, and his thoughts were chaotic.
After a long time, he heard himself asking: "... why did you... help me."
He Yu was quiet for a while, and suddenly, he extended his hand to him.
Just like Xie Qingcheng back then, he had the courage to extend his hand to the child who had a disease attack, became depressed, violent and bloodthirsty, and self-harmed.
"Because you did the same thing to me once."
"..."
"Xie Qingcheng, I never liked you."
"but……"
The fragrance of Endless Summer Hydrangea seemed to come from the midsummer of that year again, and the standing person stretched out his hand to the sitting person——
"Doctor Xie, I have never...never forgotten you."
L.
Throwing the handkerchief to kill the game is the final game, officially started.
"Tell me who are the L's that you locked."
In the bedroom, Xie Qingcheng took a deep puff of a cigarette, resting one hand on the wall, and pressing the fingertips of the other hand on his temple, his peach blossom eyes floated up, staring closely at the bloody light on the radio tower in the distance .
Team Zheng on the phone said something to him earnestly.
Xie Qingcheng restrained his emotions: "I won't tell you about these things. You give me the list."
"..."
"A while ago, I sent a guest book found by Shanghai University to the police station. It said that wzl will be killed in the near future, and the signature was Jiang Lanpei. I thought it was something useful to your police, so I sent it back. You don't have to Tell me, that kind of notebook will not appear there for no reason, and it can also be matched with the information on today's murder video."
"Xiao Xie..."
"That's a message from your informant, isn't it?"
Xie Qingcheng went straight to the point, and the other party couldn't even say a word of denial.
Xie Qingcheng gritted his teeth: "So you already knew that WZL was going to be killed, but I'm afraid the informant didn't know much about it, so he could only write down the information he knew in his notebook, remind you, and let you decipher—— WZL, count the days, you should have been thinking about this news for a long time, enough to lock a list. Zheng Jingfeng, don’t tell me you don’t have this thing.”
Captain Zheng sighed for a long time: "...I can't hide it from you, Xiao Xie. Listen to me, I understand your feelings. No one can bear this matter, but..."
When Zheng Jingfeng changed the subject, Xie Qingcheng's smoke burned the side of his finger, making him shiver slightly.
"However, we must keep it secret..."
Xie Qingcheng suddenly became violent. He was rarely so emotional: "Secret? What secrecy? When my parents died, you couldn't find anything. In the end, it was just a car accident! I told you at that time How long? How much did I pay for an answer?! You all know everything, but you can’t find any evidence! So many years... I still have a younger sister, and then I gave up, I can’t care so much... But Now these people are dangling under my nose, you tell me to keep it a secret?"
"Xie Qingcheng, you are not a policeman after all, you have to calm down..."
"I'm fucking the victim's son!"
"..."
"Who are those people who killed my parents? I might find someone alive today to ask." Xie Qing's eyes were red, and his forehead was pressed against the cold window, "Say it. How do you want me to calm down."
"..."
"How do you want me to trust you, Zheng Jingfeng? It's been 19 years, and you haven't given me an answer. Now you can't even stop the hacker countdown of this murderous video, you don't need to tell me, I know those people are Dao Gaoyi The ruler demon is one foot tall, how likely is it that they will be able to escape unscathed this time?"
"Officer Zheng Jingfeng, do you understand what it's like to know only darkness for 19 years, but can't wait for the truth! I've been enduring and waiting."
"...I understand. But..."
"I have understood you for 19 years, can you understand me this day."
"...I understand, I understand..." The other party murmured, as if he didn't know what to say.
Xie Qingcheng paused, every word was bloody.
"Team Zheng. If you really understand, give me L's list."
"..."
"Otherwise, I'll find a way to find it myself."
"..."
A little silence.
Zheng Jingfeng finally said: "Oh, Xiao Xie, please listen to your Uncle Zheng's advice..."
He then said some persuasive words earnestly and earnestly, but that became the last straw that crushed Xie Qingcheng.
He suddenly yelled and kicked the seat next to him: "Fuck you! What's the use of that? Don't talk nonsense to me again!!!"
Xie Qingcheng threw the phone heavily on the table, his forehead was pressed against the wall, and he was bluish and red because of his emotional agitation.
No one in this world, not even Xie Xue, has seen his face like this.His chest heaved violently, and his eye sockets were also red and bloodshot.
He was silent for a moment, and looked at the radio and television tower again.
The projection screens of the broadcasting tower and these tens of thousands of mobile phones are synchronized in real time, and the handkerchief throwing video game behind L is slowly progressing.
Xie Qingcheng tried his best to calm himself down, picked up the phone again with trembling fingers, adjusted his breathing, and dialed Chen Slow's number.
"Beep...beep..."
"Hi, brother thank you."
"Chen Man." Xie Qingcheng hoarsely said to the person on the phone, "...There is one thing, see if you can help me."
Chen Slow paused: "Brother, as long as you ask me to do it, I will do it. But..."
"..."
Chen Slow's voice became very uncomfortable: "But I know what you want to do now."
Xie Qingcheng couldn't bear it anymore, he touched the cigarette again, managed to find one and bit it between his teeth, but he couldn't light it.
He threw the lighter aside irritably and bit the filter paper hard. "you know?"
"I know that the public security in almost the whole of Shanghai is now monitoring this matter. The mobile signal port of Shanghai University was hacked and the death video was forcibly transmitted. Although our people have intercepted the hacker——but we have received anonymous threats. If We blocked the video, and there will be bomb attacks in several places in Shanghai. We can’t be sure if it’s true or not, but we can’t afford to bet on it.” Chen Man’s voice seemed tired, “Brother Xie, I know what you want to do. "
"..."
"I saw what you saw. I know you want to find L, prevent him from being killed, and ask who the murderer who killed your parents was and which organization it was."
When Chen Man said this, his voice was a little choked up: "I also know...I also know that my elder brother was trying to get back the truth for your father and his master, so he...he..."
Chen Huan's sniffling sound came from the other end of the phone.
Xie Qingcheng's Adam's apple rolled up and down, and his throat felt a little bitter.
Chen Man didn't cry in front of him, but through the electric current, his tears seemed to fall on his heart.
"You can't do this, can you?" Xie Qingcheng asked softly.
"I can't... this is a rule... I, I'm just a grassroots, I don't have access to such a high secret key, and I... I'm a policeman... I..."
"..." Xie Qingcheng didn't say anything.
He can scold Zheng Jingfeng, even if Zheng Jingfeng is his elder.But in this matter, he could never scold Chen Man.
He just said infinitely tiredly: "Forget it."
"Thank you, I—"
Xie Qingcheng has already hung up the phone.
He was lying on the bed, time was passing by around him, his whole body was cold, from his fingertips to his heart...
"Dad!!! Mom!!!"
"Don't go! Xie Qingcheng! Don't go!!!"
On a rainy night 19 years ago, when he finally realized who the two cold corpses lying in a pool of blood were, he lost control and wanted to pounce on his parents.
His father's colleagues hugged him, and several people rushed over to stop him.
"Who is the murderer? Who is the murderer? Who is the driver!!"
"..."
"You let me go...you let me see more clearly, could it be a mistake, could it be the wrong person...?!"
Those policemen were crying, but they still refused to let go of their hands holding him.
"Xiao Xie, don't do this."
"The driver escaped, we will investigate...we will definitely investigate and give you an explanation..."
But what explanation did they give him?
He later learned that no one escaped.According to the monitoring, the car was completely unmanned. It seemed to be controlled by some remote device, and it hit his parents straight. The evidence was burned cleanly and thoroughly.
Dry and clean.
It has been clean for 19 years, but it has not been detected.
Xie Qingcheng was lying on the bed, feeling more and more cold. He couldn't light a cigarette with trembling hands, so he reluctantly turned on the phone, found a file from it, and kept looking at the pictures in it.
"Click" sound.
The bedroom door opened.
At this time, Xie Qingcheng closed his eyes and turned off his phone, and calls began to come in one after another on his phone——
There are old colleagues of his parents, there is Xie Xue, and there is Chen Man.
He didn't answer anyone, and let the phone ring one after another, stinging his eardrums.
"Jingle Bell……"
Suddenly, the phone stopped ringing.
Then there was the sound of shutting down.
Xie Qingcheng covered his forehead and eyes with his arms, and then he opened his eyes slightly, and looked numbly at the young man who turned off his mobile phone through his bent arms.
"I heard everything." He Yu said.
"..."
"You never told me that your parents left like this."
Xie Qingcheng turned his head. He didn't cry after all, but his eyes were so red that he wanted to get up and go out. He Yu couldn't understand these things.
Xie Qingcheng didn't want to talk too much with him.
He sat up, picked up the cigarette with his still slightly trembling hand, and lit it a few times, but his hand didn't have the strength to light it.
The lighter was taken over, and it clicked crisply, He Yu lit the Zippo for him, and brought it to Xie Qingcheng's lips.
"..." Xie Qingcheng took it, took a sip, and the trembling all over his body gradually subsided.
He Yu sat beside him, quietly watching him finish his cigarette.
He felt that Xie Qingcheng was actually very powerful. When he encountered such a thing, he just lost control of his emotions, and he did not lose his composure, nor did he have a nervous breakdown.
But such a helpless Xie Qingcheng is still rare in front of him.
He looks very fragile, and He Yu is used to his strength. Xie Qingcheng, who is so fragile, has searched for everyone, but no one is willing to help him. Xie Qingcheng, who can help him, gave He Yu a feeling The feeling of wanting to reach out to him.
He looked at Xie Qingcheng's desperate yet silent look, and suddenly, he felt familiar.
He stared at him for a while...
Then he remembered.
It was very similar to himself when he was ill, at the age of eight, nine, ten... Whenever he was in the most pain, he would be so helpless, but also so silent, unwilling to say anything to others.
And at that time, how did Xie Qingcheng treat himself?
……too long.
He Yu was surprised, how could he still remember.
Maybe it was after Xie Qingcheng became his personal doctor... It was the first time he got sick.
That day, needles could be heard in the villa, and it was as quiet as a barren grave.
He sat alone on the stone steps blooming with hydrangeas, without crying or making noise, he took out a sharp silver knife, and slowly cut open his own flesh and blood, as if he was dealing with a skin that had nothing to do with him.
When He Yu got sick, he liked the smell of blood, he was bloodthirsty.Although there is no right to hurt others, no matter what you do to yourself, it is always right.
He watched the blood flow down his hand indifferently, felt his heart was covered with moss, and the cruel feeling extended from the core to the limbs...
Suddenly, in the depths of endless summer flowers, a calm voice resounded——
"Hey, kid."
He Yu was taken aback, and immediately hid the blade calmly, put his hands behind his back, and then cleaned up a pure land on his childish face, piled up with the innocence that a child should have.He raised his head and found that the person walking out from the flower room was the very young Xie Qingcheng in a white coat.
Xie Qingcheng raised his eyebrows and looked at him condescendingly: "What are you hiding?"
"……nothing."
He Yu never talked to anyone, so he naturally hoped that he would go away.
The sharp blade in the sleeve was against the skin, and it took a lot of effort for him to restrain the desire to use it to inflict violence on others.
But Xie Qingcheng grabbed his wrist and forced him to stretch out his hand, the bloody knife fell to the ground, Xie Qingcheng saw the bloody knife edge on his wrist.
He Yu tensed up, waiting for him to scold him.
But after waiting for a long time, he only waited for the doctor to say: "...do you not hurt?"
He was stunned.
His parents knew he was sick, but they seemed ashamed of his illness.Especially his mother—
"You can't hurt anyone. You have to learn to regulate yourself. I can understand your physical discomfort, but why do children have so much mental pain? It seems that you are still not strong enough."
He quietly listened to his mother's admonitions like this every time he was taught.He followed their requirements to live up to certificates, trophies, and compliments.
He was in pieces, and every piece of flesh and blood had to be examined under a microscope.
He can't go wrong.
Therefore, every time he gets sick, he will carefully hide the pain and internalize it into his callused heart.
He must be excellent, he can't even cry out in pain.It's no use shouting, no one really cares.
Gradually, he lost the instinct to cry out for pain.It doesn't matter anymore.
It's like the evil dragon grinding its teeth and sucking blood in the fairy tale book, with spiny skin and sharp claws, but it has never flown out of its own reef.What he tortured was his own heart, and what he gnawed was his limbs. He transformed those perverted diseases that would disappoint people into scars that could not be easily shown.
As long as he doesn't harm others, his illness is not missed, right?
Every fishy and sweet blood mark was the brand he had slapped on himself, and it was the shackles he chose to restrain himself in order to be a normal person.
His own blood was the only sacrifice he offered for the sickness.
He has long been used to these.
But that personal doctor wanted to break free from the iron chains that bound him, to step into his dark and dark dragon’s lair, to touch the scars on his body of various shades, and then ask him, Hey, brat, don’t you feel pain? ?
A young dragon roared weakly but furiously in his heart, but when the man stretched out his hand to caress his wound, he dragged his bloody body to dodge hastily, and the thorny tail of the dragon flapped anxiously.
He's not used to being questioned.
Not used to being cared about.
He said, I don't hurt.
I don't hurt you, don't look at me like this!I won't hurt anyone, don't lock me up, don't question me, don't approach me, go away...
But the hand was pinched, and the young doctor pulled out his arm that had been hidden under it, and opened his sleeve.
The cold blade fell to the ground.
As far as the eyes can see, this young and immature child, in order to restrain his urge to hurt others, made a series of cuts on his body with the tip of a knife when he was ill, and the warm blood was still flowing in a criss-cross pattern.
The young dragon seemed to have been frightened by something, and even dropped the well-behaved and docile human mask, revealing the ugly and scarred face of the young dragon behind.
He flapped his thorny dragon tail, showed his sharp teeth when he roared, and with all his vigilance, he anxiously drove the intruder out of his lair——
"It's none of your business, don't touch me."
The young doctor didn't care about his resistance, and walked around his creaking hole with his hands, picked up the little child, and carried it on his shoulders.
"do not move."
He Yu struggled, he hated the smell of disinfectant on his body, and the faint smell of medicine in his sleeves.
He could no longer hide his tyranny, and he gritted his teeth and whispered a threat, which was also a warning.
"Let go of me, or I might hurt you..."
"..."
The doctor said lightly: "How do you plan to hurt me? Do you have a specific plan?"
Back in the treatment room in the villa, the doctor threw him on the soft sofa for children, slammed the door, and then went to the drawer to take out a disposable mask and put it on.When he turned his head, He Yu only saw Xie Qingcheng's deep and sharp black eyes.
It was the first time that he was not stared at and envied as a "role model".
He seems to have suddenly become a clumsy child in such eyes, mistakes and ridiculousness are all excusable, and there is nothing wrong with even reaching out to ask someone for candy.
So he froze and forgot to run away.
Xie Qingcheng washed his hands by the sink to disinfect himself, and then said: "Stretch out your hand, and I will bandage it for you."
"...It's okay. I don't care." He Yu turned his head away, clutching his bleeding wound, unwilling to believe the person in front of him.
Xie Qingcheng slightly raised his eyebrows: "You are used to the smell of blood and violence, and you don't even care about self-harm because of this, do you?"
He Yu said softly:
"Yes. This cannot be changed, and I don't want to trouble you to treat it."
Xie Qingcheng said indifferently: "I took the money."
"..."
"Little ghost, do you think self-mutilation is the right thing? Bloodthirsty madness, inner twist, is it something that should be ignored?"
"You want to hurt yourself, you don't even value yourself. If you smell too much blood, you will lose all human feelings. Slowly, you will become more and more crazy, more and more numb, and you will live like a stubborn grass. Shi, don't you regret it? Don't you feel pain?"
……
These conversations are as if they happened yesterday.
Even if Xie Qingcheng left later and his relationship with him faded away, he still remembered that day, it was the first time such a person stretched out his hand to him, and then asked him.
Don't you hurt?
Why don't you even value yourself...
He Yu watched the man hang his head and smoke out the last bit of cigarette.
He suddenly said, "Xie Qingcheng, you want to know who L is targeted by the police, don't you?"
"..."
"Don't be sad. Maybe I can help you."
Xie Qingcheng suddenly raised his head and looked at him with wide peach blossom eyes.
"Don't forget." He Yu said, "I'm also a hacker."
"..."
"The equipment they use is the most cutting-edge. Out of habit, I have known about that equipment as soon as it came out. I have also blocked the other party's attack on my mobile phone just now. I probably know their procedures. The technicians hired by these people , I may not be able to break through."
He Yu wasn't joking with him.
His expression was very serious, even dignified.
As if proclaiming to the mountain standing in front of him with an insurmountable posture all the time, he has grown up and is no longer the helpless boy in the endless summer.
Xie Qingcheng was at a loss for a moment, his mind went blank, and his thoughts were chaotic.
After a long time, he heard himself asking: "... why did you... help me."
He Yu was quiet for a while, and suddenly, he extended his hand to him.
Just like Xie Qingcheng back then, he had the courage to extend his hand to the child who had a disease attack, became depressed, violent and bloodthirsty, and self-harmed.
"Because you did the same thing to me once."
"..."
"Xie Qingcheng, I never liked you."
"but……"
The fragrance of Endless Summer Hydrangea seemed to come from the midsummer of that year again, and the standing person stretched out his hand to the sitting person——
"Doctor Xie, I have never...never forgotten you."
