50. Sinful Book 1

It was 3:27am when Antonio woke me up from my mini sleep to "talk". As usual, I had my heart beating faster than normal; no, I wasn't guilty of anything, but curiosity made me almost lose my mind.

We had the perfect night, grinding against each other in perfect symphony, taking each other's breaths away, and basically showing a lot of emotions, so what was the whole "talk" thing about?

"What's up?" I asked him, rubbing my eyes with the back of my palms. Antonio sat on the bed and pulled me to him, so I was leaning on his chest.

"You're scaring me, what's up?" I asked him. His silence was eating away at me, what could he possibly want at 3am?

"I just want the words to come freely, I don't want to force anything," he said. I was lost!

"Uh, Okay... can I sleep though? When the words come freely in the morning, let's talk about it" I tapped his thighs, but he held my hand, stopping me.

“I have to say it now” he insisted. He was confusing the shit out of me, and it scared me to no ends because I didn’t have the slightest idea of what he was on about. I mean we were perfectly okay, up until we slept, so what brought about this sudden urge to talk?

“These past few weeks with you have been beautiful, you’ve shown me lot, I’ve learned from you how to care for others, how to put others first. I know I’m still an asshole, which is probably never going to change, I want to be good to you, just you” he said. I smiled and leaned into him more, nodding my head at him.

“Everything that has happened between us was crazy fast and full of a lot of drama, but here we are, laying in bed like we’ve been like this for years” he paused to laugh. I was still curious though, where was all these leading to? I mean there had to be a key point, or else, lord knows I would’ve murdered Antonio.

“I’m going to make mistakes in the future, but whatever happens, I want to be true to you, because I trust you more than anyone else right now” He said.

“And I trust you! So can we get to the point so I can sleep?” I asked him.

“You’re impossible!” Antonio let out.

“I’m here, trying so hard to make sure I say the right words, and all you care about is how you want to sleep?” There was disappointment in his voice.

“Well, I’m sorry I’m not very welcoming right now, whatever you wanted to tell me should’ve been kept for later, when I’m fully awake! I was sleeping Antonio, sleeping! It’s three a.m right now! You only wake someone up at this time when there’s an emergency!” I scolded him.

“Fine, whatever! You can sleep” He threw his hands in the air. I quickly pushed myself off his body! Rolling my eyes at him, though he couldn’t see me because it was dark.

“Look, I’m sorry, I really am, but you can’t just wake me up in the middle of the night and expect a certain energy that is not this one” I told him, he ignored me.

“Antonio? Babe?” He didn’t budge. I must’ve really hit a nerve. What was it he wanted to say anyway? What was so important?

I took in a deep breath and adjusted myself on my side of the big bed, making sure I was far away from Antonio as possible. He was impossible sometimes.

Like I know he was trying to be cute, or romantic, and this is the first time he’s really putting himself out there, but he chose the wrong time to do it! Who wakes someone by fucking 3 a.m just to be romantic? Don’t you care about sleep? Isn’t sleep the most important thing at that hour?

Now I couldn’t sleep, not because I felt bad for cutting him short, no, it was because I was curious, I wanted to know what the issue was.

I let out a sigh and closed my eyes tight; if i could trick my body into believing I was asleep, my mind would eventually let me off the hook, right?

As I concentrated on my breathing, hoping the soothing sound would make me fall asleep, I felt movements from Antonio’s side of the bed, I didn’t dare open my eyes to know what was happening because I felt I was close to falling asleep, and opening my eyes would mean starting all over again.

I felt Antonio’s hands around my waist, then his legs entangled with mine.

“I’m sorry” he groaned.

“You just mess me up sometimes” he said and let out a small laugh.

“You too” I replied him.

“I don’t even know what I was thinking when I woke you up, I forgot how insane you are when you don’t sleep well” he said and I nodded my head.

“Sleep” he whispered in my ears, and like that was the spell my body needed to hear to make me fall asleep. My body felt relaxed, all I could think of at that point was sleep and nothing more.

“I have to say this before you fall asleep” Antonio said, rubbing my waist. It was the best feeling, I think it was one of the reasons I was sleepy.

My reply to him was inaudible, but it was something along the lines of “go on” that’s what I like to think I said.

The sound of Antonio’s deep voice was like a sweet symphony in my ears, and soon, I couldn’t here him clearly, just the vibration of his voice in my head.

But there was something he said, something that sounded so faint it could be mistaken for a dream, something that I could swear he said:

“I love you, and if this is how it feels to love you, then I want to love you forever”