30. Sinful Book 2

"Who's pregnant?" The deep voice asked from behind me. I felt like cold water was poured on my body. I couldn't bring myself to turn to him or to answer his question. He had heard Samantha, he had heard the one thing I wanted to tell him, but from his question I couldn't tell if he was angry or happy; there were no emotions in his words.

"Sewa?" Fuck, he called me Sewa. I had an idea that he didn't want the news to be true, but I didn't want to turn to him and confirm my thoughts. I didn't want to turn around and see him scowling or breathing fast with his eyebrows furrowed in anger. Seeing him like that would break me, but I had to face it, face him. I let my eyes climb up Samantha's face to see her smirking.

"I'll give you guys some space," Samantha won. She got me and she got me hard.

I didn't want to think about her words, but maybe she was right; maybe we aren't different from each other at all, maybe the only reason why I was happy about the kid was because I thought it would only bring Antonio closer to me and he'd forget about Samantha and his stupid delusions that Samantha and Diego would have a great relationship and focus on me and our family. I could feel the tears coming, it was going to be a fucking storm if Antonio didn't want this child, that much was certain.

"I'm talking to you, Sewa. Are you pregnant?" Antonio spun me around so I was facing him, his hand still holding onto my arm that he used to spin me around.

"I- I... ugh," I started to say but that was all I could say. My mind was blank, I didn't know how to say the words. This wasn't the way I wanted him to know; I wanted to be sure he wanted this too, then I tell him I'm pregnant.

"You what?" I hadn't looked up to his face yet. His tone already said what he was thinking, but I didn't want to see the look on his face, I didn't want to see the look on his face. I knew I wasn't ready for it.

I took in a breath and looked him in the eyes; he was surprised, and confused, and not interested. I heard it, the crack in my heart.

"I didn't want you to find out this way," I looked down; the look in his eyes was too intense, too much for me.

"What? What does that even mean?" He asked, I looked up in time to see him shaking his head.

"I.." I tried to say, but I stopped when I saw it, the regret and anger, the look that told me I wasn't any different from Samantha, the disgusting look that said I disappointed him.

"Antonio, I swear I-" I started off again, but Antonio scoffed and stormed out of the house, leaving me standing there like I don't belong in the building I've come to think of as home. I sank to the floor, watching him walk away with pieces of my heart following after him. I held out my hands to him, wishing he'd turn back and hold me close to him, but he didn't. He walked away from me and our child, a child that I didn't put in myself.

I closed my eyes to gather my thoughts, but when I opened it, tears flowed uncontrollably from my eyes, each tear telling me I was no different from Samantha and I'm a fraud that uses pregnancy to keep a man that doesn't want kids. My heart broke at the fact that Antonio thought I was just that, a fraud, that got pregnant because she's insecure and stupid. There was no stopping the tears anymore, it was flowing freely without any sign of stopping.

I had to get out of the house, I had to leave somehow, before Antonio gets back, or before Samantha comes out to taunt me. I guess keeping my apartment was the best decision I made.

I rushed back to the room I shared with Antonio, packing the things I knew I'd use urgently, then I ran to Diego's room, thankfully, he wasn't sleeping, and sadly, he had heard the fight with Antonio. I tried to wipe my tears but they kept falling as I wiped, so I gave up. I pulled out Diego's luggage, putting his belongings into it as fast as I could. When I was done, I called Larry, who helped me carry the luggage quietly to my car.

"Mommy, you'll be fine, right?" Diego asked me. I looked at him through the rear view mirror, forcing a smile on my crying face as I let out a weak, "yes, I'll be fine."

I tried not to cry while driving, what good would it bring anyway? Antonio was an ass,and he had always been, but I ignored it because the love I had for him was more than his stupid bad character. I thought he accepted Diego with hopes that he could get more children. I thought we were over his fear for children, but I guess that's why I'm no different from Samantha; just like her, I thought I had changed him. I laughed at how stupid I let myself think I could change a man who had been the same way all his life, for a reason I didn't know about.

I kept on telling myself that he loved me, and all he needed was time to open up to me and let me in on all the demons he's been fighting, but I was wrong, very wrong. Antonio was his demon, there wasn't anything holding him back from having children, he just didn't. I never had been one to want children, but Diego changed my mind, and I thought he changed Antonio's too, with a little push from me. I guess I didn't really know the man I thought I knew. I loved him, but I didn't know him, and he never let me.