Chapter Sixty One

"It's not about you Matthew" she began, toying with her glass. "Please believe me when I say that this has absolutely nothing to do with you." she sighed deeply. "It's just.. It's me, Matthew. I can't date you because... I don't know how to put this the right way and I don't want to bore you with the details, but let's just say that my head isn't in the right place. I have a lot of things to figure out when it comes to this topic and I just feel like it wouldn't be fair to you if I led you on."

Matthew frowned. "I don't understand," he said. "You agreed to this last night and I have been asking you out for a while now. Why are you suddenly changing your mind?"

"Yes. I know, and I'm sor..."

Matthew didn't let her finish. "Are you seeing someone else? Probably Timothy Packard. I saw you both last night at the party and you both seemed so... I don't know... Attached. I saw you leave the hall with him too but I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to look controlling and all that because we're not dating yet. But that's it, isn't it? You're seeing him now so you decided to push me aside. That's just messed up Chloe. How long have you been waiting to drop this on me?"

"I'm not dropping anything on you, Matthew. I’m just... Look there's nothing that I'm going to say that will make you understand me right now and I honestly don't blame you. This is my fault and it's about me and the way I'm feeling right now. You probably won’t understand, but all I can say is that I'm sorry. I know that I screwed up. I just hope that we can still be friends. If you need some space from me I understand that perfectly"

Matthew said nothing. He just sat there and gritted his teeth until his jaw protested..

"I should leave now" said Chloe as she stood up. "Good night, Matthew. I'm sorry"

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Timothy was really the king of bad decisions. He shouldn’t have started. He shouldn't have touched her... And more importantly he shouldn’t have stopped.... He shouldn't have left. Because if this was the way he felt after only two days without seeing her, then he was totally and utterly screwed.

It was like he could still sense the feel of Chloe’s soft hair through his fingers and smell the fruit-scented shampoo she used in her hair. He had been lost. He’d been lost in the moment and lost in the person. And now that he was away from her, without any assurance that they could ever be together, he felt depressed, and the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about her made things even worse for him.

Timothy smothered a groan and raked a hand across his face. It had been two days since he returned home and he had not stepped out of the house, not even once. Not even when his parents called. He was in no mood to see or speak to anyone. And the only person he wanted to talk to had not reached out.... Not even once.

Maybe it was a good thing that she hadn't reached out to him, he thought. Cutting off contact was the best way to get over someone. But the thing was that he didn't want to get over Chloe. He wanted to speak to her. He wanted to see her. He wanted to hear her murmur in that sultry voice that came second in the instant-hard-on-achieving status only next to those sexy little whimpers she made when she was fully turned on.

Fucking hell.

Timothy gritted his teeth and thumped his head against the soft pillows on the bed. He had jacked off to the memory of the sound of that breathy voice fifteen minutes after he returned to his hotel after leaving her house two days ago. Since then after he returned home, he had masturbated a hell of a lot more times than he could recall in recent memory. Each time he reassured himself that he had finally got her out of his system, he would hear that voice of hers in his head, moaning his name, demanding, ‘Put your mouth on me.’ And he would be rock hard all over again.

He sighed. For his own sanity, he had to get over this woman, and it had to be fast. First step to doing this was to get the hell out of bed and go to work. Maybe he would get distracted enough to focus on something else. He got out of bed and Twenty five minutes later, he was out the door.

He'd better go see his father, he thought as he got into the elevator. The man had been calling him and asking how things went with Golden gates promotion, and he wouldn't stop bothering him till they talked. Jensen Packard was seated in his chair when Timothy knocked and came in.

"Oh, look who finally decided to show up," Jensen said as he looked up from his laptop screen to see Timothy walking towards him.

"I didn't run away dad" Timothy replied in a bored manner, but Jensen could not be deterred. Instead he gave his son a huge smile.

"Yes I know that. But you didn't let us reach you since you came back. Your mother is worried sick"

Timothy took a seat and dropped his case on the table. "I have been back for two days, dad," he said. "Just two days. I needed some time to myself. You and mom just worry too much. I will give her a call when I get home tonight"

Jensen's eyes narrowed. "I see... You needed some time. What's wrong exactly? Occupational hazard?"

Timothy tilted his head to the left. "I guess," he replied.

"Something went wrong?"

"No. Nothing went wrong" said Jensen, involuntarily lifting his hands and dropping them again before sinking into the chair as if exhausted. "Nothing went wrong dad.... At least not with the company."

Jensen shut his laptop and pushed it aside. "Okay... So nothing happened.... with the company... But something did go wrong, judging by the look on your face. You want to talk about it? I'll listen."

Timothy looked away. "Why did you choose her agency dad?"

"Whose agency?" asked Jensen.

"You know damn well whose agency I'm talking about, dad" Timothy snapped, facing his father again. "Chloe, dad. Why did you let her back into our lives…into my life… I... I think I'm in love with her... And I don't know how. I mean I haven't seen her in years.. And then she comes into my life for a month and I'm right back where I was... I guess... I guess maybe I never stopped loving her.. Just locked my feelings up somewhere"