Chapter Seventy Three

Evan Reese opened the front door of his house and headed straight to the kitchen. His wife, Christina stood at a table, frosting a cake. She looked up in surprise to see her husband and dropped the piping bag.

"You are back, " she said. "Is something wrong? Did you forget something?"

Evan shook his head. "No… I mean… yes." He scratched his head and then buried his face in his hands and sighed deeply, which made Christina even more concerned. She immediately washed her hands in the sink and came towards him, but when she reached out to touch him, he pulled away.

"Please don't. Not right now please." said Evan. He was afraid that if he let her touch him, he would change his mind about doing the right thing. He wanted to keep his marriage, but he knew that secrets like this were of no use. They usually ended up coming to light, and he feared that the damage it might cause would be even worse. It was best to rip out the bad aid and face the consequences of his actions. "Tina, there's something I need to tell you… I need to tell you because it has been eating me up inside and I just can't take the guilt anymore."

Christina reached for him again but he wouldn't let her. "Look honey, I'm sure that whatever it is, you will find a way to fix it," she said.

Evan looked at her and seemed to get even more downcast at her words. She was an angel. The best thing that had ever happened to him, and he couldn't bear to lose her, but he had to tell her. She had to hear this from him if he was going to ever have a chance of forgiveness.

"It's not that easy," he began. "Please just let me finish, but before I do, I need you to know that I'm very sorry. I need you to know that from the bottom of my heart I am sorry and I desperately need your forgiveness"

Christina took a step back and Evan watched the expression on her face go from concern to worry. Yup, he deserved that.

"What is it?" she asked. "You're scaring me, Evan. Just say it."

"Some weeks ago, at the party we had after we got Packard Enterprises account… There was urmm…before you arrived, there was a lady at the party, I can't remember her name, but she was there and she… and… she and I had a thing at the party"

Christina could see where this was going and she dreaded it so much and she didn't want to believe it. She swallowed hard and said, "What are you trying to tell me, Evan?"

"I urmnn… I" Evan stammered.

"You what, Evan?" Christina yelled. "What do you mean you had a thing with her. Did you have sex with someone else?"

Evan winced at her words and raised his hands. He couldn't look at her so he kept his gaze on the floor. "No… no. I didn't have sex with her but we urmm... We were together in a sexual kind of way… We urmm… oh damn it, Tina. I'm so sorry"

"What exactly happened Evan?"

The crack in her voice broke him. He knew so damn well that he'd hurt her, but there was no going back now.

"I was at the party alone at first" he began, his gaze still glued to the floor. "I was hurt and lonely and I wanted some attention and company and she came along. I know that my reasons do not justify what I did at all and I acted like a fucking asshole but when she offered, I didn't say no…and I know that I should have. We left the party for a while and she….oh fuck, Tina"

"She what?" Christina yelled at him.

“We hooked up…She sucked me off, but I stopped after that, I swear.”

“Oh wow” Christina said sarcastically. “Thank you, Evan. Thank you for taking your dick out of her mouth to tell me that”

When Evan finally found the guts to look at her, there were tears rolling down her cheeks. He couldn’t bear it. Sometimes he couldn't even believe that he had done something so stupid and selfish. He had put his marriage at risk, and all for a few minutes of pleasure…Nothing was worth losing his wife.

“Why? Why are you even telling me this?” Christina asked. “I wouldn't have found out about it and I trusted you so much to even suspect that you would hurt me like this. So why? Did you just feel the urge to ruin my day?”

“No, Tina. It’s just that the guilt has been eating me up and I couldn't keep up with it any longer. I wanted to do the right thing.”

“How honorable of you. Would you like me to give you a medal for your honesty, Evan. Do you want me to applaud you for cheating on me? And to think that you had the guts to kiss me…to make love to me after what you did. And after everything we have been through…and here I was, thinking that I had the most supportive husband in the world. To think that i was feeling guilty for the way i shut down after we lost our baby…Only to find out that i’m married to a fucking asshole. I fucking hate you Evan. I hate you! You are not telling me this because you care. You are saying it now because you are tired of feeling guilty and i want you to know that i don't forgive you”

She was sobbing loudly now and her shoulders shook. Evan had no idea what to do. He reached out for her but she shook him off.

“Don't you dare touch me,'' she said amidst her sobs. You are a horrible person and i want you to stay away from me”

Evan took a step back. “I know it doesn't mean anything and it wouldn't fix things, but I'm truly sorry Tina. I was lonely and stupid enough to accept any kind of attention i got from anyone”

“So now it’s my fault? Fuck you, Evan. I was dealing with the loss of our child, damn it…and I make no apologies for how I dealt with it. You were the one who decided to deal with your issues by receiving blow jobs from other women. Just stay the fuck away from me”

Still sobbing, she brushed past him, out of the kitchen and headed for her bedroom. Evan followed, calling out to her but she didn't reply. She shut her bedroom door in his face, leaving Evan standing outside her door, filled with regret and fear, wondering what was going to become of their marriage.