Will Never Do That
The days passed just like that. With the same routine and the same act of pretending and going undercover. Sometimes I would talk to Lulu, when she’s not busy. I ask for updates and sometimes, I just want to have someone to talk to.
Aciel, meanwhile, is unchanged. The way things are between us will remain unchanged. And that's not something you hear often from someone who just dropped millions on a sex partner. That Lulu is correct. And yet, I've already admitted that that sounds better than me. As long as he's busy, I'll get what I need to do out of the way.
"I'm still trying to track him down. I went into your house but it seemed like nobody lives there.” When I finally got through to Lulu, she said.
”Of course.” He might have left by now.
”You think he moved out?”
”That’s what I thought too.”
That’s how far I’ve known. With the phone I have there’s only limited things I could do. And of those things is looking for my father.
”You’re home.” I said.
Aciel came into the living room, and I greeted him. Since I'm completely bored, I'm currently lounging in front of the fireplace with a book.
”Hi.” He strolled right up to me. I'm not sure why, but I returned his openness with enthusiasm.
I gave him a half hug and he kissed the top of my head in a flash. When he comes this close, I get a whiff of his male aroma. Thankfully, we don't have the same stature. While he towers over me, all I can see is his chest.
He offered to prepare dinner. While waiting, I sat on the couch and continued reading a classic work by one of my all-time favorite authors. In the midst of my mental nourishment, I yawned. My stomach is growling and I know it's because I'm hungry.
When I rested my head on the couch, a head appeared on my shoulders. My surprise is obvious, and he chuckles to himself a little.
I asked, "You want more books?"
”Uhm,”
‘I’m quite uncomfortable.’ I wanna say. I can feel his warm breath on my cheeks. I can’t bear to look back at him because one wrong move, our lips will for sure touch.
“I’ll ask for more books.” he answered for me.
I gave a slight nod in agreement. "Appreciate it." I had to lower my voice.
"Anything for you."
He kissed me gently on the forehead, which only served to increase my unease. To feel pain in a new way. That which is ecstatic, bordering on euphoric.
Saying, "Dinner is ready," he announced the imminent arrival of food. “Come,” To get to my front, he took my hand and walked through the couch. The assistance he provided in getting me to my feet was useless.
He grabbed me in an instant, and I landed squarely on his chest. I was taken aback by his quick action. He took my clumsy, all over the place hand and helped me find my way. Then, with his palm sliding from my arms to the curvature of my waist, he made my arms circle around his neck.
When we subtly altered our position, I noticed a change in the hue of his eyes. The transformation in his eyes caused by the light is like seeing a miracle. When I recognized what he was up to, my heart gave a little extra thump.
The music is playing and we're dancing. Together, we are falling into a rhythm I can't quite place. My thoughts were muddled by the sound of the silently crackling fire in the fireplace, the earthy musk smell of his home, and the enticing smell of him.
His intense stare into mine contained a trace of humor. He led me into a rhythmic flow, and I found myself staring into his soul. When I realized how long I'd been staring at him, I let out a deep sigh. Actually, I did something as silly as making a light throat clearing noise to signal that I had finally come to.
He chuckled lightly. “You’re uncomfortable.”
I pouted my lips. “If that’s isn’t obvious to you.”
In response, he laughed again. After a moment of silence, I felt his hands tighten as he pressed his forehead into mine, but he made no sound. He has just completed yet another international border crossing.
That waking up did not fully reawaken my senses. I went down into that deep pit again the moment he did that. There is no room between us, as evidenced by the fact that our noses are touching. I focus my attention squarely on his face while he closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths.
”Is this uncomfortable?” he whispered. I smelled his minty breath.
”Very.” I gulped.
My heart is throbbing so loudly that I can actually hear it. As my ribcage presses against his, there's no doubt in his mind that he can feel it. Like he was tightening his hold by clasping his fingers together, his arms slid behind me.
The flat lining of his brows almost caused me to furrow my brows in confusion. Tense muscles in his jaw give him an expression of frustration.
Without thinking, I pressed my palm into his jaw, as if it were my duty to do so. My physical self reacts in whatever way it pleases. It doesn't even try to understand what I'm trying to say.
I called his name, "Aciel," softly.
He opened his eyes slowly and it’s bloodshot, anger and exasperation is evident. I’m quite shocked to see the quick change of his expression. Just a while ago he looked light, and now he’s like this.
”Something wrong?” I asked.
I almost asked myself if I’m really concerned based on my tone. Or I was just curious? I don’t know.
”I will never do that to you.” he said with restraint like he’s mad about something.
My brows furrowed in confusion. “Do what?”
Again, I sensed a shift in his jaw. My question went unanswered by him. Instead, he gave me a bear embrace and tucked my chin into his chest. It's hammering me down, hard. I was stunned.
”D-do what Aciel?” My voice cracked.
”You’re free to do anything you want now. You can go to malls, you can have friends, you can read your books. Anything.” He patted the back of my head.
There was a sudden and dramatic difficulty in breathing. Tears stung my eyes as I felt the weight of his feelings sinking into every crevice of my being. The calming effect of his touch is something my body wouldn't want or accept, especially coming from him.
”You’re free to do anything you want, now that you’re with me.”
My knees weakened.
