Chapter 33

Nandani was getting better at sneaking around, but it was getting harder to keep their affair a secret. Part of the reason was Manik himself. She could sense that as they were becoming closer, he was getting more and more dissatisfied with their arrangement.

They had made up completely since their fight. In addition to making up verbally, they had made up in his car, her bedroom shower, and the library.

Even if he did not completely understand what she was doing; with her Dream Girl' label, or with him; he went along with it. But as her feelings for Manik grew more intense, so did her feelings of guilt. The excuses that she had been using were starting to sound hollow in her head. Manik might have been helping with work, but was she getting as much done?

What about the nights that she spent with him? Or spent thinking about him? What about the way she was effectively lying to her best friend, who mattered more to her than anything else on the planet? Still, she refused to pull her head out of the sand because when she was with him, everything was too good. She just wanted to put herself in his hands and forget the world.

They were in her rented study room at the library the week before Thanksgiving. There were limited places where Manik and Nandani could hook up without being spotted, and the rented library room was one of them. Incidentally, they were actually studying together today. Or rather she was polishing off her draft presentation for Crystal. She even checked out the draft with Manik. He seemed impressed and had some good ideas to make it better.

"I made you something." Manik was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall, and she was sitting between his legs in front of him, typing on her computer. She turned around to face him.

"Is it cookies? You know I love cookies." Nandani smiled mischievously. "I would do anything for a good cookie." Unable to resist, Nandani leaned into him and pressed her mouth to his lightly.

"Hmm. I will file that one away for future reference." Manik then reached over to his backpack and opened it up. He produced a long box about six inches tall and handed it to her.

"Looks like a lot of cookies." But it was lightweight. Nandani opened the end and pulled out the contents, which were wrapped in tissue paper.

It was a tiny model of London Bridge.

Nandani had found out in the last few weeks that Manik was amazing at building model bridges. It was something he had done since he was a kid, and he had brought just a couple of those models with him to school. It seemed to take a ton of patience and effort.

"So you can bring a little London to San Francisco when you cannot be there," Manik said.

"You made me a bridge? Manik, it is amazing!" She turned it over in her hands, examining the tiny details. Then she carefully set it aside and turned back to look into his eyes. "Thank you," she said earnestly. It was probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever brought her.

"You are welcome," Manik said, pulling her to lean against his chest.

It was hard to believe that just a few months ago this guy had not even been in her life. Being with him made her feel alive, and understood.

His voice was resonating in her ear, breaking her thoughts. "I think we should come out in open."

Her smile faded. "Come out?"

"Yes, that is what that means. We have been together for weeks. I just want to be able to be seen with you in public. Stop sneaking around. Do things that normal couples do," Manik said.

Something like panic welled up in her throat. "Manik, you know I care about you, but I am not sure that is a good idea." Then something occurred to Nandani. "Is that why you built me a bridge? To get me to come out in open? Is this a coming-out bridge?"

He released an exasperated sigh. "No, it is not a coming-out bridge."

"What do you mean, no? Is this about Mukti?" she asked him.

"Yes." And partly it was.

"What do you think this is, don't ask, don't tell? Mukti is not stupid. She will figure it out eventually. I feel like an asshole lying to her," Nandani said angrily.

She pushed away from him to sit on the other side of the room. It was too hard having this conversation particularly when they were touching. "Don't you think I do too?" She should have seen this coming, though she ignored it.

"So what I do not understand is what exactly you think we are doing here. Are we just screwing around? Because if we are not, you are going to have to come clean on it, some time, Nandani. The way you are acting makes it seem like that might never happen."

Nandani had told him frankly from day one about how they could be together, that this was the only way. She wanted to keep this part of her life secret from her friends, from Mukti. From work, though it was questionable how well she was succeeding on that front. She did not need complications. And coming out in public was... a complication. But she also was not ready to end this, and there was no denying to herself or him that their feelings were growing. She just needed more time to figure it out.

"Manik, I don't know what is going to happen. But I do know that telling everyone is not going to solve anything; besides making you feel a little better."

"You are so focused on Mukti. But it is not just that. What am I supposed to say when the guys try to set me up? When girls ask me out? That I have voluntarily chosen celibacy?" Manik said.

Now he was acting childish, and it irritated her. "Let me get this straight. Do you want us to tell other people so you don't have to keep finding reasons to turn down dates? Grow up, Manik. There are bigger things involved here than your reputation with the cheerleading squad."

Nandani realized that she had gone too far when his eyes hardened and his mouth formed a tight line.

Manik stood up and collected his books. "Given I am so immature and superficial, it is astounding you signed on for this in the first place." He walked out, pulling the door behind him with a click.