Something Stupid

I watch the blood on the toilet paper - confirming my thoughts: I'm not pregnant.

I walk out of the toilet and down the staircase to the ground-floor. I follow the scent of my mate and it leads me to his office.

I take a deep breath as I stand in front of its door, my eyes shut. I haven't been this nervous in a long time.

"Come in, Lila," I hear his voice before I can knock.

Of course.

I grasp the door knob and enter, then stand in place. My face is blunt - no smile, no nothing.

He watches me with now squinted eyes, closing his laptop. "What's wrong?"

I shake my head, then slowly walk to his desk. "Nothing," I occupy the chair in front of it, crossing my fingers calmly. "I'm not pregnant."

He frowns, leaning onto his chair. "Period?"

I nod. "Got it this morning."

He presses his lips, inhaling loudly. "What now?"

I swallow hard. "I've thought about it..." I watch his rough face, his deep eyes, and I feel his tension. "And I decided I'll go to the woods," I state and his eyebrow immediately goes up in anger. "I want to learn the truth behind this... mystery," I nod. "At last."

He exhales a deep breath. When he speaks, his voice is rugged. "Fine. We'll go tomorrow morning."

I knew this would happen. But I can't allow him to take his pack with me - there'll be bloodshed. "No," I insist, looking straight into his eyes. "I need to do this alone."

He scoffs. "The hell you do."

I shake my head. "I'm not asking for permission. I came to tell you how things were."

He stands up now. "I don't care why you came," he's next to me in a heartbeat. "I'm saying there's no chance in fucking hell I'm letting you go out there by yourself," he states matter-of-factly with a chilling voice.

"So I am a prisoner to you, after-all? Even without the baby." I push it.

"No," he clenches his jaw. "You're not a prisoner. But you're my mate. And I won't let you do something as reckless."

"I don't see you asking permission from me when you go fighting vampires," I state the facts. "What's the difference? Me being a woman? Let me remind you I'm a goddamn werewolf just like you are," my words are cutting blades.

His eyes go a shade darker. "I am the goddamn Alpha, Lila. Like it or not. Woman or werewolf, it's my duty to protect you. And that's what I'll do."

"So what are you gonna do - lock me up in the room?"

He keeps eerily calm. "No. I'm just gonna tell you this one thing - you go to the woods, you and me are over."

"Fine by me," I hiss through gritted teeth.

We share one last defiant stare and then he walks out the office.

"Where are you going?" I ask rhetorically. "Oh, yeah, wherever the fuck you want," I mumble because he can't hear me anymore. He left. Location unknown. Because he's a free man. And obviously he refuses to give me the same freedom I give him.

I hear the entrance door slam.

I take a deep breath to ease my awakening rage and go for my new bedroom.

I've had it with the hierarchy. The Moon Goddess knows I've tried - I broke off my engagement, I moved over here, I tried to make it work. But it all comes down to the same thing like when I was 18 - I don't want to be caged. I don't want to serve an alpha. I want FREEDOM. In its entirety.

I take my bag and put a bottle of water inside, a knife, my cellphone and a jacket.

So, what's it gonna be? My inner wolf awakens.

We're going to the woods.

Darius said we're done if you go. Allow him to accompany us.

No. He'll kill her. And I don't want her harmed.

You can't leave our mate.

Why couldn't I?

Because he's our MATE.

Don't you have another argument besides that?

I don't need another one. It's the best there is. You can't leave our mate, she repeats.

Oh yeah? Watch me. I need to be strong. Once I alienate myself from this, I'll be smarter. Then I can see the situation with a clear head, objectively. I don't want to be another one of my patients, stuck in a controlling relationship.

Maybe him rejecting me would be for the best. It's not like we have a healthy relationship. There's no mutual respect and definitely no equality.

I throw the bag over my shoulders and go down the stairs, literally tip toeing so that no one would hear me.

I rush back to Darius' work room. It's a corner room and the only one that has no guards in front of it.

Mm, smart girl.

Oh, you're on my side now?

I'm on our side. And I say we're strong enough to defend ourself. Well, I am at least. Go get those bloodsuckers, girl. I got you.

I know. Darius' wolf is not stronger than us in any way. We lost only because of Ian.

That's the thing that bugs me the most - if he really was my Alpha, I'd succumb. But he never proved himself to be my alpha.

I open the window and stick my head out.

No one in sight.

I throw out the bag and then jump after it.

That was easy... those guards aren't doing a really good job.

I throw the bag on my shoulder and run. As fast as I can.

When I reach the end of the woods, I stop to look back to the big house that was my home for this past few weeks.

But now I might never be allowed to come back.

You're having second thoughts, my wolf teases. You shouldn't. Remember why you're doing this. What's bothering you?

The way he treats me! As if I have NO CHOICE. As if he can get away with doing and saying anything just because he's our mate. The fact he talks about his heir like it was his property.

I agree. We weren't followers then and we aren't followers now. Not unless we find our true leader.

I nod once to myself, then continue my run.

The many trees on our property make my escape easier. I run as fast as my legs take me, dark hair tangling in the wind.

Then I hear it.

I freeze.

It's the same as always. "Lily... come to me, Lily..."

I swallow hard.

"What do you want?" I turn and yell into the woods.

"Lily... come... I promise I just want to talk."

I squint and scan the perimeter, deciphering where exactly the whispers came from. But these creatures move so quickly, it's very hard to tell.

"Who are you?" I scream.

Only my echoes reply.