Shattered

Shattered.

Perhaps not physically, but it felt like every bone in my body had crumbled to jagged shards. Like huge pieces of gravel with sharp, pointed edges. No, it didn't hurt but felt immensely heavy instead. All this weight. This heaviness, that possessed me, left no room for breathing, let alone any movement. I wondered how I was alive at all.

Then perhaps I was in a nightmare. And that made me happy because this will be over soon.

"The weather today is nice." I closed my eyes, trying to shut the tears in. The slap of reality is never too kind.

Wind blew softly through the leaves when I opened my eyes again. While the dusky sky, a shade of faded pink, looked like dawn. Or was it dawn? Time had slipped away, just like everything else in my grasp.

"You have to be very lucky to have such pleasant weather."

The sun shined warmly, not the brightest, as the wisps of clouds lingered in the blue sky. Wind whispered through them, the barren branches and the strands of hair that escaped the woollen beanie.

"Here, have some coffee. It will help you keep warm."

I looked down at my gloved hands and found a mug with steam coming out of it in furious gushes. It must have been too cold, but honestly I couldn't tell for sure.

"So, how are you doing?" I turned my head and looked at him. I should have started crying. I couldn't.

"What do you think?" I didn't like this Dimitri. This caring, nurturing, playing dumb, Dimitri that .infuriated me more than before. His coy behaviour of oblivion to try and pull me into a meaningless conversation won't undo the wrong that has already happened. I would have loved to slap him if only I could have lift my arm at all. Breathing was hard already.

The wind whistled in his stead. It was getting cold as clouds appeared out of nowhere and masked the once bright sun, under its fog. Good things never do last. Fleeing away sooner than the bad things do. Their will weak like mine.

“Well, looks like that was all the warmth we will get for today. Let’s get inside and have some coffee. You must be getting cold.” He got up from his seat and came behind me to grab the handles of the wheelchair and push me inside.

****

“Hey there lazy head. How are you doing?” Why do people even bother to ask questions, the answer to which they won’t like at all? And why is it a compulsion to provide an answer that is acceptable to the person who asked the question. I am fine. That’s what they want to hear. Fine doesn’t have it’s original meaning any more.

“Giving me the silent treatment still, Rosie?” Liza sighed as she stopped wiping the counter and looked at me with tired eyes. She was angry at me still, I could feel it. Or maybe I was wrong. I didn’t know this Liza at all.

“She will come around soon enough.” Dimitri pushed me further into the kitchen and placed me in front of the counter, opposite to Liza. The very place that I didn't prefer to be at all.

With a side eye, she looked at me, as she turned away towards the sink to wash the rag. The sound of water splashing in the basin, swirling as it went down the drain was the only noise that remained as everything else fell into silence.

Dimitri's hands still on the wheelchair, I was sure his eyes were on me as well.

"Aww, you guys partying without me?"

Great. Just another person that I absolutely loathed.

"Oh! It's not a party! We are just talking." I cringed at how cheery Liza sounded. Albeit, it was fake.

"But without me?" His intentionally childish demeanour made me want to slap him. The second person today. "Well, no party will be fun without me anyways." He leaned against the doorway and smiled a broad smile that shined on his teeth. A creepy smile which was enough to make me look away from his devilish self.

"So how is our queen madamé doing? Still sitting on her wheelchair of a throne as her butler pushes him around?" He dared me to look at him, and I refused to give him any reaction. He wants to play a game.

"Ivan." Dimitri spoke up in his monotonous voice. One that I haven't heard in a long time. Somehow, I wanted him to roll back to that version. At least I wouldn't feel as angry at him as I did, now that he tried to butter me up so that I would stop being this version. Such irony.

"Okay brother, don't worry, I won't try to make your girl laugh and steal her away. I already got mine." Before he finished his sentence, he walked over to Liza and laid a hand on her back. He knew I was watching her.

That hand slithered down so slowly on her silk and tight fitted top until it reached her butt, hidden under a skirt.

I looked away. Not able to watch whether he squeezed her not. As it is, I was having a hard time controlling myself as I kept quiet and dug my nails into my palm and grit my teeth with all my might. Wishing he didn't do what I thought he would.

The wheelchair moved unannounced as Dimitri rolled me out of there silently. And for the first time, I was glad that he read me right and understood what I wanted to do.

****

Dinner was served that night in the dining room with mood lights and soft jazz playing in the background. Candles were placed on the table, with cutlery placed elegantly. Fancy handkerchiefs, forks, knives, spoons, it was a whole charade. And red.

It looked like a romantic setting, but with four sets of seats and plates to accompany them.

It sort of explained why Dimitri was dressed up in a suit. But the entire set of puzzle was solved when Liza and Ivan walked in as well, dressed in fancy clothing.