Caught

Bang...

Bang...

BANG!

The deafening slam of the metal rod on the cold hard floor shook me every time he slammed it down. Sometimes he would do so with such force that the ground beneath would shiver under his wrath. Even that unmoving smirk on his face screamed volumes than his words or actions did.

"I remember the first time I saw you. With that small little smile and those big teary eyes, you looked so fragile and broken. Your need to hide everything behind that pretty face was what drew me closer to you." His calloused fingers slowly dragged from my right shoulder to my left as he came by and stood behind me.

I had no idea where this was headed to or what he wanted it to head to. His words confused me more by each passing second and no matter what, I couldn't find any memories of what he claimed had happened.

"It was Christmas Eve. You and your family came to our house for dinner. Shy and quiet with your head bowed down by an invisible weight on your shoulders; people hardly noticed you, although I don't blame them. You were almost invisible in those quiet shadows you chose to hide." After placing the rod against the chair, he placed both of his hands on each of my shoulders and started massaging them by drawing slow circles with his deft fingers.

Breathing was almost impossible for me, yet I didn't want to give up, I didn't give up as I took a ragged breath inside my lungs and kept fidgeting my hands in hopes of somehow freeing them from the sharp bite of the zip ties. He knew that I was fighting back and somehow I wanted him to know that I was still alive and will be as long as I fought back. Yet he didn't stop me from doing so.

"I wanted to talk to you so badly, a teenage dream of sorts. Or maybe a crush perhaps. It's funny how I look back at those moments and realize the strange similarities of situations that made us behave almost exactly the same. Maybe that's what drew me towards you. Perhaps I thought you would understand me in the sea of faces, understand and share my pain."  I didn't want to listen to whatever he said. My sole focus should have been on tugging my hands-free from the bounds and somehow escape although there was no chance of success.

"Your obnoxious family, on the other hand, were so pathetically good at suppressing you and acting oblivious to the stares they received that people around believed them except of course who already knew." His grip tightened on my shoulders with a reminder of some unknown memory that I had no idea about. I could almost hear him grind his teeth together as he struggled to keep himself under control but failed every now and then.

What could have happened to him? Did he go through the same things that I had to bear? Or...worse?

"The pink dress you wore looked so beautiful on you. In fact, that's the only dress I ever saw you wear afterward and every time you visited. The small round neck with a white collar, long sleeves, yellow little bows, and red roses. I remember it all like it was just yesterday." The gentleness of his hands was back again as he tried to soothe me while completely ignoring my tears of distress.

"As if the sleeves were not long enough, I would notice you tugging at them, trying to hide whatever laid underneath. You truly were a mysterious beauty and I wanted to find out all about you, hold you close and never let go even though you were just eleven, and I was seventeen." Eleven...I hardly remember anything from that age or after that or even before that. I try not to think about them, I don't want to. It makes everything so much easier. Some memories are better hidden and buried forever even though the grave leaves a mark.

He removed one of his hands away from my shoulder and the next thing I heard was the rustle of clothes. Something was placed in front of my eyes, something square, that blocked the harsh glare of the spotlight falling on my face. Too scared and afraid of whatever it was, I clenched my eyes shut and tilted my head towards my shoulder as a feeble act of defence and waited for whatever was about to happen next.

When seconds turned into minutes and still nothing happened, I dared to squint my eyes open and see what was happening around. That square piece of paper was still held in front of my face for me to react and him to enjoy.

The strong beam of light made it very difficult for me to see the print on it but soon enough I realized that I was looking at a picture.

A picture of me when I was eleven.