Chapter-16

Maryam's pov

Pain. That's what I was feeling only. The physical pain is tolerable since I am taking medication but the pain in my chest was increasing with every passing second. Whenever I close my eyes I can only see my dead child in that bowl. Remembering my baby's death my eyes moistened instantly.

" I am sorry, baby," I again apologised shedding tears silently.

I was crying silently when a click sound reached my ears. I diverted my gaze at the door and found my baby's murderer standing at the door. Seeing his face my blood boiled with anger and I felt like murdering him just the way he murdered my baby. I don't know how can someone be that cruel to his own blood!! I wonder why he couldn't accept my baby? If he can love Yamir & Omaira then what was my innocent baby's fault?

I couldn't continue looking at his ugly face anymore and looked outside. Why is he here? After snatching my peace, my baby what does he want more? I don't know what's he going to say but I know that I can't live with this man. I can't live with my innocent baby's killer. I am gonna ask for a divorce from him.

" How are you feeling now?" He asked sounding concerned.

I didn't feel like answering so I kept my mouth mum. Coming towards me he sat beside me and I moved away. He tried to hold my hand but I just jerked away his hands. He disgusts me. Why is he here? Is he here to give me more pain? Isn't it enough?

" I asked you something. How are you feeling now?" He again asked and I diverted my eyes at his ugly face.

Looking at his eyes I found guilt ashamedness and remorse that didn't affect me at all. Why is he guilty? What's the point of feeling guilty now? The damage is already done.

" I want a divorce," I demanded looking directly into his eyes and a thin line of anxiety appeared on his face.

Before he could say anything I said furiously," Don't ask me why I want a divorce. The sin you have committed, after that it's impossible for me to live with a person like you."

" I won't divorce you. Yamir & Omaira can't live without you," He replied and his words opened my wounds again.

I shouted in his face grabbing his collar," You can care for Yamir & Omaira but not for my baby? Why? Why this discrimination? Huh!!"

" I can't undo what is done already. It would be better if you forget this and move on," He answered so casually that astonished me.

I asked in disbelief," Move on!! You are telling me to move on. Aren't you feeling even a little bit of remorse? That innocent soul was also a part of yours! How can you be that much ignorant? Huh!!"

Saying all these I clutched his collar and shouted in his face," You said I will discriminate among my children. But, what about you? You discriminated among your children even before my little one was born!! How could you be that much cruel? Don't you have a heart?"

" I didn't want a baby with you. That was an accident. So, forget it as soon as possible and move on," He replied and this time I lost my patience totally.

I screamed at the top of my lungs," If you didn't want any children with me then why the hell you fucked me? Why the hell you didn't use any protection? Huh! Once you told me that even if I get naked in front of you spreading my legs, you won't touch me. Hmm? Then where did this proud sentence go when you were fucking me every night?"

He remained silent when I yelled in his face," Answer me, you monster!! Why are you silent? You never forget to remind me that it's my duty to satisfy you whenever you want but how did you forget when it came to your responsibility? Wasn't my child also a responsibility for you just like Yamir & Omaira?"

Asking all these I burst into tears and he kept sitting like a mute. My sobbing started echoing through the whole room and I know that this mourning isn't enough for what I have lost. I wanted to hold my baby in my embrace, wanted to see him/her growing up but this monster snatched this opportunity from me. I wish Allah will do justice to me and my innocent baby. I wish Allah will punish this cruel monster for murdering an innocent soul.

" I am not gonna live even a single second with you. Divorce me otherwise I will divorce you," I said with determination when he held my right upper arm tightly.

He said in an intimidating voice," I won't divorce you. I already cleared it with you. And, do you think your family will take you back if you divorce me? What do you think about how your pathetic family is gonna survive without my financial support?"

Hearing him I couldn't say anything and continued sobbing. If I returned to them as a divorcee they will kick me out of their home. The whole society will spit on my parents and humiliate them which I don't want to happen at all. Moreover, they all depend on me financially and I can't see them starve in front of my eyes. They didn't raise me for 25 years to endure humiliation because of me.

" So, think before you talk. Forget whatever happened and move on," He whispered in my ear and then left letting me cry over my fate.

Crying over my fate, my stupidity I mumbled," Mikaeel, I should have listened to you. See, I am getting punishment for breaking your heart."

Author's pov

Maryam was sleeping or we can say trying to sleep when she heard a baby voice calling her. Opening her eyes she found herself on the bed but she doesn't know why she felt this place was unfamiliar. When she looked carefully she realised that it was the same hospital room where she saw her baby for the last time.

" Mamma," A baby voice called and Maryam was startled by the sudden voice.

She asked with her trembling voice," Who is there? Who are you?"

" You killed me, Mamma. You let him kill me," Maryam heard someone accusing her.

She screamed crying," I didn't. I didn't have any choice."

" You killed me. You are a murderer," Maryam heard the voice again.

Making her startled another voice said," Yes, you killed your baby just like you killed me."

Maryam recognised this voice and mumbled shuttering," Mehzabin api?"

" After killing me, you are now trying to escape from your responsibility! Why are you punishing my innocent children? What's Yamir & Omaira's fault?" Maryam heard her sister accusing her.

Maryam replied sobbing," Api, don't misunderstand me. I love Yamir & Omi."

" You always do this Maryam. Letting people taste your love & affection you leave their hands in the middle. You are pathetic," A male voice screamed at her and Maryam was bewildered by the voice.

She whispered blinking her eyes," Miki?"

" You deserve to be treated like that," Maryam heard Mikaeel shouting at her.

Maryam was so traumatised by all the things happening in her life that she started hearing voices in her mind. It was the first time that psychological problems started developing in her. She doesn't know that in the near future it is gonna be worse. It was just the starting.

" You killed me, Mamma"

" You are trying to escape from your responsibilities"

" You are a betrayer! A gold digger! You deserve no happiness"

" Stop.......stop it..........please," Maryam shouted placing both of her hands over her ears and started nodding her head vigorously.

" You failed to save me. You are a bad mamma"

" I saved you and that's how you are gonna repaying me! By neglecting my children!!

" You killed my feelings brutally and I wish someone do the same with you."

Maryam couldn't hear all these anymore and started screaming like a madwoman. Hearing her loud screaming, Yardan rushed to her room. Entering her room, he was encountered with a horrible sight. Maryam was standing at the window and almost ready to jump.

" What are you doing?" Yardan asked in shock coming towards her.

She answered emotionlessly," I am gonna leave this world so that no one can accuse me."

Saying that she almost jumped but Yardan held one of her hands. She tried to free her hand from his tight grip but Yardan didn't leave her. With great difficulty, he managed to pull her up.

" Let me go....Leave......me.........." Maryam screamed scratching Yardan's face & hands with her nails.

Yardan shouted tapping her cheeks gently," Come to your senses. What's wrong with you?"

" They are here," Maryam answered looking here & there.

Yardan asked confusingly," Who?"

" Everyone!! Let me go. I don't want to live. Leave me!!" Screaming like a madwoman Maryam tried to go toward the window again.

Her condition was getting out of control and having no other choices Yardan slapped right across her face. She became a statue by the impact on her face and blinked her eyes confusingly.

" What's wrong with you? Whom are you talking about?" Yardan shouted while Maryam lost her consciousness.

Picking up the unconscious Maryam, he walked towards the bed and laid her down. Without wasting another second he called a doctor. Half an hour later a doctor arrived and started checking Maryam.

" You said she lost her baby. She lost it or the baby was aborted forcefully?" The doctor asked Yardan suspiciously.

Yardan lied having a disturbed expression," She was bleeding suddenly so having no other choices the doctor had to abort her child. If you want you can ask the doctor who did the abortion."

" I see. I have checked her blood pressure which is lower than usual. Seems like she was skipping her meals as well. And, the unusual behaviour you narrated it's the outcome of trauma. Give her some time to adjust to this situation, and keep her happy, assure her that everything is going to be fine. She needs emotional support more than medicine," The doctor explained to Yardan who remained silent.

Then, the doctor suggested," It would be better if you consult a psychiatrist for her situation."

Yardan was still silent because he isn't gonna consult any psychiatrist. If Maryam opens her mouth that the abortion was forcefully done he will fall into great trouble. He bribed the doctor who aborted her child that's why it didn't become an issue. Otherwise, he would have been thrown behind the bar by the police or counted a huge amount of fine. Everything could have been avoided only if Maryam managed to raise her voice for once.