Chapter-29

Author's pov

It was nighttime and everyone was having dinner silently. Yardan was busy eating his food while Maryam was busy staring at the kids with guilty eyes. Every day they would sit near her but today they sat near Yardan and looked frightened too. She was guilty of scolding the kids.

Suddenly, Yardan noticed that Maryam wasn't eating. She was just playing with her food and thinking about something while looking at the kids.

" Why aren't you eating, Maryam?" Yardan asked but Maryam couldn't answer.

She was looking at her plate intensely when someone held a spoonful of food in front of her. Her eyes followed the hand and it was none other than Yardan.

" Eat properly. Just look at you. You are looking so pale. You have lost weight too," Yardan said sounding concerned which surprised Maryam.

Slowly, she opened her mouth and took a bite. After that, Yardan fed her a whole meal that stunned Maryam. He never showed this type of affection to her so it was feeling so foreign to her. She doesn't know it was just his acting to make her normal.

" Go to your room and take a rest," Yardan told Maryam rubbing the back of her hand and Maryam wasn't understanding how to react.

After finishing dinner when the kids reached their room, Maryam followed them. Seeing her entering the room the kids got frightened and gulped down their saliva.

" Mamma, sorry," Yamir & Omaira apologised to her.

Sitting on the bed she pulled the kids near her and made them sit on her lap. The kids looked down shivering in fear.

" I am sorry, kiddos. Mamma didn't want to scold you like that," Maryam apologised patting their head gently.

Their face beamed with happiness and they looked at their mother with innocent eyes. They hugged her neck tightly and their affection was overwhelming for Maryam.

" Mamma, you are not angry with us anymore, right?" Omaira asked innocently.

Maryam replied affectionately," I can never be angry with you. By the way, do you guys want to go on a vacation?"

" Yeah, it's going to be so much fun," The kids face beamed with happiness and excitement.

After making the kids normal with her, Maryam returned to her room and found that her whole room was dazzling under the full moon. Going near to the balcony she sat on the floor and looked at the moon with longing eyes. Automatically her mind travelled back in time when she and Mikaeel were together.

" Miki, do you love me still now?" She asked looking at the moon.

She doesn't know that Mikaeel was seeing the same moon and missing her. He went on a trip with his friends but instead of enjoying with his friends he was missing her badly.

He went on a trip with his friends but instead of enjoying with his friends he was missing her badly

After that, every single incident kept coming in front of Maryam's eyes making her situation worse. She recalled those horrible memories of her sister's death and her children's death. Automatically tears started flowing down her cheeks.

" Api, take care of my babies," She whispered and closed her eyes again.

A few days passed and there was no improvement in Maryam's behaviour. She was depressed and broken. She would spend her time sitting in the room in darkness. She would scold the maids and snap at them for every single mistake. Whenever the kids try to get close to her she would tell them to leave her alone. She loves them but at the same time, she just wants to be alone and away from every sorrow. Except for Yardan, she has behaved roughly with everyone because she is scared of Yardan. It's like she just vents her frustration on everyone.

Again, Maryam was sitting on the bed turning off the lights. The dazzling moon was the only source of light in her room. She was looking outside and thinking about her babies again. An affectionate smile formed on her lips imagining them with Mehzabin.

She was still in her thoughts when she felt a presence in her room. The masculine scent reached her nostrils and she knew that it was none other than Yardan. She didn't bother to look at him. Coming near her, he sat beside her.

" How are you feeling?" Yardan asked taking her hands in his hands.

She answered shortly," Good."

" I know it's difficult for you to forget everything but try to understand. The more you will think about your loss, the more you will feel bad," Yardan said kissing her hands.

His eyes fell on her smooth neck and then her cleavage. Her skin was looking soft and alluring to him under the moonlight. He gulped hard looking at her soft fleshes. Getting close to her he kissed her cheeks and slowly moved his lips to her neck.

" Maryam, try to forget everything," He said touching her neck gently.

He was going to pull the strings of her nightgown when Maryam requested," Please, I am not ready."

After losing the second baby Maryam didn't let Yardan get close to her. She was scared of intimacy. She was scared of losing her baby again. Seeing her situation Yardan didn't force her either but tonight he was getting impatient for her.

" How many days you are going to spend like that?" He asked kissing her lips but she didn't respond to this kiss.

Maryam requested again," Please, I don't want to lose another baby."

" I will use protection. Don't worry," he answered burying his head in her neck and started giving open mouth kisses.

He was way too heavy and her little energy was not enough to push him away from her. His thick beard was poking her skin and it was so irritating to her. She requested a few more times to stop but he wasn't in the mood to hear.

" I will make you forget everything. Just enjoy," He said biting her lips and she can taste the blood in her mouth.

But, he stopped whatever he was trying to do when her tears touched his skin. He looked at her eyes which were already red and glossy. Those innocent eyes were staring at him with fear and pain.

She whispered looking in another direction," Please. Give me some time to heal. After that..........."

Pausing for a few seconds she answered with great difficulty," You can fuck me."

" Ok," He said sounding a little bit annoyed.

Maryam didn't reply so he tried to make her normal," Your mother's last therapy is next week. Do you want to meet her? Maybe you will feel better after meeting her. The changes in the atmosphere may make you feel better."

" As you say," Maryam answered meekly.

Pulling a comforter over her, he said," Sleep now. Good night."

A week later

Hugging her mother Maryam was sobbing non-stop. She had been keeping the pain inside her for a long time. She met her mother after years and that's why she couldn't keep the pain inside her anymore. She shared her sorrow with her mother.

" Ammi........Ammi............ I lost.........my baby," Maryam hiccupped tightening the hold around her mother.

Her mother was silent when Maryam requested," Ammi......... I am.......not.......feeling......like to....leave your arms. .....please, don't send me....back. I want to be with you."

Maryam literally begged her mother like a little child. She was looking helpless and broken. Her teary painful eyes could melt anyone but not her family members. Her mother heard everything but didn't show that much interest to talk to her.

" You can't be with me. You have children to be taken care of. Don't even think of such a rubbish idea," Her mother replied sternly.

Maryam answered without thinking much," I will keep Yamir & Omaira with me. I will find a job to provide for them. But, don't send me back there. If he impregnate me again then I will lose my baby just like my previous children. Please, try to understand."

" Yamir & Omaira are a billionaire's children. Their demands will be big, their way of living are luxurious. Do you think you can provide for them? Huh!!" Maryam's mother replied sounding pissed off and Maryam lowered her head.

Clutching Maryam's jaw she said rudely," So what you lost a baby? Accept the reality that it wasn't meant to be with you. Just forget everything and move on."

Hearing her mother Maryam looked at her in disbelief. How easily she told her to move on! Maryam was wondering is this woman was her real mother or if she had lost her mother already. Her mother wasn't this insensitive toward her.

" Ammi, are you sure that I am your real daughter?" Maryam asked controlling her outburst.

Her mother didn't answer because a nurse interrupted them. Taking an injection her mother went to sleep while Maryam continued sitting like a mute.

Maryam told every single member of her family about her loss but no one showed much interest in her sobbing. They just told her to move on like it's not a big deal that she lost a baby. She saw her family members flattering Yardan with sweet talking but they didn't have time to hear her situation.

" Yardan, I don't know how I am going to thank you. Because of you, Maryam's mother is still breathing," Maryam's father showed his gratitude.

Maryam's elder brother requested Yardan," Brother, I need some money to.........."

" What about the money I gave you to reconstruct Mehzabin's grave? Is it going well? I am kinda busy and that's why I couldn't go to see the progress in person," Yardan asked interrupting Maryam's elder brother.

He answered gulping down his saliva," It's going well."

He lied to Yardan. If he tells him that he has wasted the money by buying alcohol then Yardan will bury him alive. So, he decided to keep his mouth shut. He will get some money from Maryam after all she is his Swiss bank.

Maryam noticed that everyone was talking to Yardan about their own problems but nobody was talking about her like she doesn't even exist. Like her emotions aren't worthy of their attention. Seeing all these Maryam was angry and hurt beyond level. Everything was feeling poisonous to her.

" Shut up......Shut......the.....fuck....up," Maryam screamed at the top of her lungs catching everyone's attention.

She shouted at everyone," All of you have time to beg for money but don't have time to hear me out. Why? Why is that? Ain't I your family members? Why this discrimination towards me?"

Everyone was silent because they had nothing to answer. Maryam went near her father and held his hands.

" You had so much love for Mehzabin api and your other children. But, when it comes to me? You don't even consider that I exist. Why is that, Abbu? Ain't I your daughter?" She asked but her father didn't respond.

Seeing everyone silent Maryam started laughing like a mad woman. Tears were the only companion of her.

" Your silence is telling that even if I die you won't care," Maryam whispered and forwarded her legs to leave this people.