Chapter-46

Author's pov

She completed the sentence," You wanted to say that you will divorce me."

" How do you know?" Yardan asked widening his eyes.

Maryam replied," You have been talking to a divorce lawyer. I know that."

After that, a few moments passed in silence. Yardan was trying to understand Maryam's reaction but he failed. He wasn't understanding if she was happy or sad. He doesn't want to divorce her but after whatever happened recently they can't live under the same roof anymore.

" I am really sorry for whatever happened to our children. I am guilty of aborting our childr..............." Yardan was interrupted.

Maryam corrected him still looking outside the window," My children."

Saying that she looked at him who was looking at her nervously. The eye contact was intense. Maryam had the pain & accusation prominent in her eyes while Yardan's eyes were full of confusion and guilt.

" I am sorry for my deeds. That's why I gave my name to your daughter though she isn't my biological child. No one will question you ever who is Mehzabin's real father. Think of it as my repentance. I know that you will oppose saying that you don't need a father for your daughter but truth to be told you need. For the child's better future you need the father's name," Yardan said why he accepted Mehzabin.

Maryam didn't say anything. She just diverted her gaze outside having a blank expression. A few seconds later she just let out a smile. A smile of irony. He wasn't ready to accept his own children but now he is accepting another man's child as his own!!

" Since you never loved me, I wa............." Yardan was interrupted by Maryam again.

She asked looking at him," Are you sure that I never loved you?"

This time Yardan was silent. He knew that once she tried a lot to make this marriage work. She tried hard to make him understand her feelings but except for humiliation, mental distress and his ignorance she got nothing. It was him who never loved her.

" Let's not talk about what has happened already. Let's just move on. That's what I can say now. I was your wrongdoer and you took your revenge. I know that you wanted to kill me and why you wanted like that. I know it. So, after all this, there is no way we can live under the same roof," Yardan spoke.

Pausing for a few seconds he continued saying," Yamir and Omaira are enough grown-ups to take care of themselves. I know that they will crave your affection but I will convince them somehow."

" So, my necessity is over?" Maryam asked.

Her voice was calm but the storm inside her was devastating. Isn't she happy that finally she will be freed? She doesn't know. When she was forced into this marriage nobody asked her opinion and when her husband was divorcing her still nobody didn't ask what she wants.

" I am freeing you from this marriage. After 3/4 days we will get the divorce paper," Yardan informed.

His voice was a little bit shaky. But, he was sure that she doesn't want to be with him anymore. He wants her to stay with him but he didn't voice it.

" I will give you enough money to lead........" Before he could complete his sentence Maryam said letting out a chuckle," Once someone accused me that I married you because I was greedy."

Taking a breath she completed her sentence," He wasn't wrong either. I was greedy. I was greedy for affection and love. What a stupid and pathetic woman I was!"

Yardan didn't answer her words because he has nothing to say. He knew that if he says something she will start saying all the bitter truths that he won't be able to digest.

" In my absence, you took care of my business properly. Though the chaotic situation was created by you, I will just let go of it because I know that somewhere I was responsible. If you want I can give you a job in my office and of course, you will get enough amount of money to lead a peaceful life," Yardan told her keeping a neutral expression.

Maryam was silent for some time. She was just staring at the ground like it was the most interesting place to see. She doesn't know how she felt by his words.

" I will find a job. I don't need your money. Just let me meet Yamir and Omaira often. That will be enough for me," Maryam replied in one go still staring at the floor.

Yardan didn't say anything further and left her room. No sooner had he left than Maryam closed the door. She burst into laughter but doesn't know why she was laughing. A few moments later her facial expression changed and she burst into hysterical sobbing.

Sitting on the floor she leaned a little on the bed and hugged her knees. Fat drops of tears kept leaving her eyes. She felt like a used product whose expiry date had exceeded. Her family members tried to kill her when she stopped giving them money. Her necessity was over for them and now Yardan.

Three days later

Depression was a regular companion for Maryam and the nightmares joined the team as well. Her conscience would remind her every time of the sins she committed to be happy. She was trying to move on but that guilt wasn't leaving her at all.

As a result, tons of pills were included in her daily lifestyle. When she consulted a psychiatrist the doctor warned her if she continues taking stress like that then sooner or later she will have to face severe consequences.

" Tomorrow is the interview! Thank you so much for this chance," Maryam told someone and then cut the call.

She had applied for a job in several companies and it didn't take long for her to get a call for interview. A lot of people know her now and no one can deny how strategically she handled 'Al Shamsi industries' in Yardan's absence. One thing is true that the involvement in work was good for Maryam. She would be busy with work away from all the tension.

Maryam will manage a job soon and she has rented an apartment already near Yardan's house so that she can meet Yamir and Omaira often.

" Ma....mma......d....o...ll," Mehzabin was crawling on the bed and giggling while showing her doll to Maryam.

Maryam asked chuckling," Whose doll is it?"

Maryam was busy talking to Mehzabin when Yamir entered the room. Just looking at his facial expression Maryam realized the sadness in him. He was upset.

" What happened?" She asked sounding worried.

Yamir asked back," Baba and you are getting divorced?"

Maryam was taken aback by Yamir's question. Her lips quivered since she wasn't understanding what she should say. She sucked her dry lips nervously.

" That means you are leaving me and Omi," Yamir said letting the tears flow down his cheeks automatically.

Maryam tried to convince him," It's not like that. I won't leave you. I will come to meet you often and you also can come to meet me anytime you want."

" No... You will leave us. I know that. Why are you doing this to us, Mamma? What we have done to make you upset?" Yamir shouted at Maryam.

His voice was full of fear, anger and pain. Yamir doesn't understand the meaning of divorce properly. The only thing he understands about divorce is that his Mamma will leave him. He had a friend in Pakistan whose mother left him after the divorce. So, Yamir was thinking that Maryam will leave him after the divorce just like his friend's mother.

" You have been punishing us for the last few days. Only Allah knows why you are behaving rudely with us. Mamma, tell me what I have done? Did I hurt you? If I have then please forgive me. But, don't leave me. Please, Mamma. Please. I request you," Yamir requested holding Maryam's hands tightly.

Maryam had already tears in her eyes seeing Yamir's helpless face. She pulled him into a tight hug and started patting his back gently.

" I am sorry, son. I was......so...lost......in anger......" She paused for a few seconds and then continued," I am sorry that I ignored you for the last few days. I was such a stupid to hurt my babies. I even raised my hands on you!! I am a bad mother. I am so sorry. Forgive me, baby. Forgive me."

Yamir requested tightening his hold around her body," Don't leave me, Please. I promise I will be a good boy and concentrate on my study. I won't let you worry for me, Mamma."

Maryam couldn't say anything further. She just let the tears flow. Breaking the hug she cupped Yamir's face between her palms. His innocent eyes were begging her to not leave him.

Maryam thought for some time and decided to not sign the divorce paper. Yamir is a teenager and he will be needing his mother's support in this phase of life.

Adolescence is the time when teenagers commit the most mistakes. At this phase of life, they need the proper guidance of their parents. Maryam can already sense the negative impact of this divorce on Yamir. Moreover, the incidents that happened recently has hampered Omaira & Yamir's mental state a lot.

" I won't divorce. I won't leave you ever. I promise," Maryam promised kissing Yamir's forehead who hugged her again.

It was nighttime. After dinner, the kids went to sleep but Maryam had no sleep in her eyes. She was thinking about Yamir & Omaira and her promise to Yamir.

Getting out of bed she forwarded her legs to Yardan's room. She was expecting him to be asleep but he wasn't. Maryam heard a giggling sound coming out of Yardan's room. She felt like a lady was laughing.

Maryam was stunned to see Mehzabin on the tv screen. Yardan was watching his and Mehzabin's wedding video. Maryam didn't see his facial expression since he was back facing her. But, seeing a small wet handkerchief in his hand she was sure that he was crying.

Maryam was emotional to see her sister after a long time. She was looking so happy in her wedding attire. For a few seconds, Maryam again thought. What if Mehzabin never died?

Clearing her throat Maryam caught his attention. He turned off the tv instantly and turned at her. He raised one of his brows questioningly. He was wondering why she is here at this hour.

" I don't want a divorce," Maryam said.

Yardan asked widening his eyes," Why?"

" Responsibilities," Maryam answered shortly keeping a straight face.

[ A/N- A lot of women think like that and stay in toxic marriages. That's a sad truth 😞]

Yardan had no energy for arguments so he clearly told her," Fine. As you wish. You have the chance of leaving this loveless marriage."

He reminded her but she seemed untroubled by his words. She just let out a small sad smile.

" I was in a loveless marriage for 10 years. Surely I can manage for another 10 years," She spoke with a heavy heart before leaving him alone.